It was awful.

Too many swirls, too little glitter, and even the glaze was lumpy.

The thing had a bumpy surface and the handle looked like it could break.

In short, it was the most awful gift yet.

"Do you like it? I made it just for you."

Colleagues and friends would probably go; "It's so awful. It has no style. It would in no way be functional."

"I- it's-"

"It's bad?"

"No, no... Just- fancy?"

"You're just saying that, but okay."

Take that, colleagues and family, it was perfect.