❝My place is not deliberate
The feeling of your arms
I don't wanna be your friend
I wanna kiss your neck❞

I woke up to the weirdest client commission I'd received yet: "a giant flying toaster-shaped UFO beaming up cows wearing tuxedos in the peaceful countryside."

And you know what I did?

I took it.

Was the $450 attached to the request a very attractive offer? Yes. Was it not only attractive but an actual necessity? Also yes.

The old me would not have touched a request like that with a ten foot pole but Harper and EJ had been right. I didn't have the luxury to be picky and choosy about work anymore. Bills didn't care about artistic integrity. They just needed to be paid.

I'd managed to make more money in the last two weeks doing commissions than I had in the last year while denying myself the opportunity due to my 'artistic philosophy.' I chuckled at the absurdity of it all as I looked over at my blank canvas. It seemed to mock me, as if my muse had taken a permanent vacation, leaving me to deal with toasters and tuxedo-clad cows.

The loud clatter of pots and silverware banging from the kitchen pulled me out of my thoughts. Concerned, I got to my feet and started to head for my door before pausing. Would she want me around her, whatever it was she was up to?

Since I'd come clean to her, our living situation had become a tad...interesting, to say the least. Harper blushed and stuttered her way around me like a schoolgirl for the most part while I did my best to give her the space to process. My best, apparently, wasn't good enough.

She'd openly caught me staring at her lips a couple times when she spoke. She avoided any accidental brushes with my downstairs like the plague, and with good intention. The other day, I'd chosen to sleep in so she'd quietly tip-toed into my room to use the bathtub before going for another interview. I'd genuinely been asleep until the moment she'd come out, wrapped in nothing but a short, lavender towel that proudly displayed her long legs and hourglass figure.

It was hard being around her-literally, and otherwise.

But I hadn't stepped out of the room almost all day today and the realization that I hadn't seen her face since last night had my feet moving to the door with a mind of their own.

When I made my way to the scene of the crime, I took her in with a small sigh of relief before noticing the kitchen landslide behind her. Harper stood in front of the stove, her long black hair braided, wearing an apron, and her face buried in a big recipe book. An assortment of pots and pans surrounded her with only a solitary wok on the open flame above the stove.

My eyes flit to the wok where the buttered garlic was turning an uncomfortable shade of charcoal. I swiftly moved into the kitchen, my arm reaching past her to turn off the heat on the stove, just slightly brushing her waist.

Harper nearly got a seizure at the contact. She jumped, unaware, into my arms as she whirled in the direction of my chest, running smackdab into it while ramming the cooking book into my ribs like a pro-wrestler.

I reeled back from the pain.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry!"

Harper rushed to my side but I brought up a hand, stopping her out of self-preservation. The other clutched my abdomen.

I wonder if this is what a broken rib felt like.

"It's fine."

"Um, should I get you anything?"

Ignoring the stabbing pain in my mid-section that would surely fade away (I hoped), I straightened my back to show her I was fine and gave her a smile.

"An explanation would be nice. What are you doing exactly?"

Harper flushed then looked over her shoulder at the burnt garlic.

"Well, I was going to cook you some lunch. You're always the one cooking and I wanted to surprise you."

"By poisoning me?"

I couldn't help the teasing and, as expected, Harper reacted just how I thought she would.

She whipped her head back to glare at me and planted her hands on her hips, amber eyes firing up with the insect-like wrath they had the first time as she stared me down.

"Excuse me for trying to do a nice thing for you."

The aroma from her attempt at cooking filled the room, and for the first time in a while, I realized how hungry I was. I didn't realize burnt garlic could have that effect.

Harper huffed and was on her merry way out of the kitchen when I grabbed her arm, bringing her to a pause. She stared at my grip on her arm then at me, mouth falling open with no words coming out as her irritation weaned.

Interesting that my touch now had that effect on her.

I turned to her, the tension between us thickening as I spoke.

"You know, we haven't had a proper meal together in over a week. How about we go out for lunch? My treat."

I owed her one after all. Big time-for footing most of the utility bills for the flat, paying for a larger share of the groceries to cover my broke ass, and mostly for getting me to face reality the hard way.

"Lunch, just the two of us?" she repeated for clarification.

I nodded, deciding to be more upfront.

"Yes. Just you and me."

She surprised me by saying, "Sure, that sounds nice."

No hesitation whatsoever.

She surprised me even more by stepping in a bit closer, enough for me to feel her breath on my face.

"If you're paying, I'm ordering for a whole village."

And there it was.

Classic Inks.

With an eye roll, I muttered, "Yeah, yeah," and let go of her arm so she could go get ready. I waited till she'd skipped joyfully out of the kitchen (yes, she actually skipped) before letting the smile break onto my face.

"And that's how my ex, your best friend, ended up becoming my archnemesis."

I kicked a pebble off the sidewalk, still feeling Harper's eyes on the side of my face.

"Former best friend," she corrected.

I met her eyes, a smile creeping up my lips.

"So EJ continues to hold the #1 position, huh?"

"Without a doubt," Harper scoffed, seeming insulted that I'd even thought otherwise. "I love Megan and I love the fact that she's back in my life again, but that doesn't change how much Evan means to me and how much he's done for me over the last couple years. I mean," she paused on the middle of the sidewalk then gestured at me a little bashfully, "he's the reason you're my roommate."

I stopped walking as well, ignoring the annoyed mutters of a younger couple behind us that had to skirt past our temporary blockade on the otherwise deserted street.

"I can't tell if that's an insult or-"

"Definitely an insult," she pointblanked, blinking at me dully.

"You waste no time, do you?" I grumbled, biting back my smile as we continued our walk down the road.

Lunch had been...long. Harper took over ten minutes deciding what she wanted off the menu, carefully deliberating over all the items before, as promised, ordering for a whole village. She'd impressed me by eating for one too, finishing every morsel of Chinese food we'd been served and leaving her plate spotless.

All the while, we'd talked. I realized the best way to get her to ease up around me was by provoking her. It worked like a charm and before I knew it, the awkwardness had melted away into a spirited debate about her writing. A healthy one, this time.

Harper told me she'd been writing stories for as long as she could remember, always in secret to a private audience of herself. Megan was the first to read her work, which back then had been a mix of poetry and swoony, teen romance stories. She'd also been the first to encourage her to push herself.

I learned that Forbidden Lillies had been an idea that both Megan and Harper had come up with together, and in no way a reflection of their own relationship that had always been and continued to be platonic as ever. Even though Lady Alice and Charlotte, she confessed, mirrored their personalities.

"But I am bi-curious, I suppose," she'd mused. "There's no denying that Megan is terrifyingly beautiful-" I'd snorted at her description, suppressing a laugh, "-and I have thought about it sometimes but, at the end of the day, I can't ever cross that line with her."

Hallelujah, there shalt not be lesbian dinosaur sex in my house.

My happiness had been shortlived as soon, Harper had turned the questions on me, asking to know more about my history with Megan. I told her her more than I thought I would, if not the whole low-down of how tumultuous the relationship had been, the circumstances COVID had landed us in, and the worst breakup of the century. She had listened quietly, with no judgment or comments this time.

It was dark and chilly by the time we left the restaurant , chillier than it should have been for your typical mid-October night in New York.

I noticed Harper wrap her arms around herself, visibly shivering in just her t-shirt.

"Here," I muttered, shrugging off my coat. I didn't bother offering it to her. Instead, I grabbed her by the shoulders to bring her to a still and then dropped the coat on her.

"Uh-"

"Shut up," I said and moved to her front, buttoning her up all the way to her neck. The last thing I needed was her catching a cold on me again. I stepped back to assess the drip.

It was big. Way too big for her. But it would keep her warm.

"I feel like a scarecrow in this," Harper said, flapping her arms up and down like a bird.

"Look like one too."

"Hey!"

I laughed and threw my arms up in defense as she launched forward to smack me.

"I'm kidding!"

"Well this smells like you."

"Oh?" I grinned, peeking through my arms to see the way her face reddened. "And what's that like?"

"Like greasy old bacon and paint vapor."

Wow.

She couldn't possibly mean that.

With a huff, she started to storm ahead on the block. I took a moment to sniff myself before catching up to her and gently holding her elbow to slow her down. And she did, even if with a high chin and another 'hmph' thrown my way.

After a couple minutes of silence, I broke the ice. Poorly.

"So...Thanksgiving," I blurted out.

Harper glanced at me.

"What about it?"

I scratched the back of my head, suddenly very aware of the warmth in my ears.

"I know we still have a couple weeks to go for it to hit but...I assume you'll be going back home to spend it with your family?"

Harper got quiet for a while, her eyes dropping from mine and focusing on the path ahead.

"My parents are gone," she replied, her tone numb. It wasn't her first time saying these words, offering a rehearsed explanation. "Dad died when I was in college. Cancer. And my mom, I don't really remember her. She passed away due to some complications while giving birth to my brother, so."

I winced inwardly, remembering what I'd overheard about her father's passing at the party we'd attended. I cursed myself for not being more considerate about a part of her past that I should have remembered.

"I'm sorry, Harper," I whispered.

"I'll be visiting my brother for Thanksgiving."

I immediately picked up on the somewhat somber undertone beneath her casual response.

"Your brother?" I prompted, hoping she'd share more.

"Yeah. I make sure to visit him every year for Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's without fail. On top of regular visits I do every other month but this year's been..." she paused before concluding, "financially rough."

I was happy she still had family left. She fit perfectly in the role of a big sister in my head.

"Lucky him," I said, jostling her elbow playfully.

She offered a small smile, and I could tell she appreciated the sentiment.

"What about you?"

I sighed, stuffing my hands into my pockets as we turned the final corner toward our apartment building.

"I'll probably spend it alone. Evan, Owen and I...we usually avoid the family during the holidays." I paused then offered up for further explanation, "Owen's my-"

"The middle cousin, yeah?"

She knew already.

Why'd that make me happy?

"Yeah. He's usually caught up anyway with his NASA work and stuff. I try and come up with a working excuse to avoid seeing them too, but nothing quite beats saying you're out of the planet."

"I can imagine," Harper laughed. "I'm sorry to hear that though. The holidays should be a time for family."

I shrugged as we made our way up the building steps and entered the lobby.

"It is what it is."

When we both reached our apartment, I hesitated for a moment while opening the front door with my copy of the key.

The moment we walked right over that threshold, we'd be roommates again. And to her, I'd go back to being the asshat that wanted to kiss her but hadn't.

Just as quickly as I'd opened the door, I slammed it shut and turned to face Harper who'd been on her way in.

"Do you want to grab a drink?" I asked, a little more desparate than I wanted to sound.

Harper looked between me and the door. She brought a hand up to tuck a stray wave of her dark hair behind her ears then bit her lip. She was actually considering.

"I could use a drink but I...kind of have a work thing I need to figure out."

"Oh."

Without further chances to embarrass myself, I opened the room for her and watched her bow into the apartment. She disappeared down the hall and into her room, leaving me standing still by the front door like a man petrified.

Why did my chest feel heavy? Why did I feel some kind of responsibility for cheering her up after the turn that conversation had taken? And why was I squinting in the direction of her room like a madman?

"Get yourself together," I grumbled to myself and walked in, closing the door shut behind me.

I didn't quite want to go back to digitally drawing cows in tuxedos yet so I settled on the couch, turning on the TV and flicking through random news channels. I was watching a segment on the latest of Trump's debacles when I heard the door to her room open again, followed by the pitter-patter of feet.

Harper reappeared in front of me, dressed in her PJs now and wielding extra pillows under both arms like weapons, with a playful smirk on her lips.

"There's wine in the cooler. And there's Zodiac on our TV. Let's finish this thing and this time, I'm not letting your candy ass off the hook."

Her candor never ceased to amaze me. As I looked her over, it wasn't just her easygoing charm that struck me, but the subtle details: the nonchalant bun that held her hair, the oversized tee that flirtatiously slipped from her shoulder, and the sparks dancing in her amber eyes as she grinned at me, a genuine, captivating smile.

And just like that, the weight vanished.

With a growing clarity, I realized it wasn't her sadness I'd shouldered at all but my own. She didn't need me to feel better.

She didn't need me to cook her breakfast before her interviews. She didn't need me to give her company on the subway rides back from some of them. And she certainly didn't need to wait for my sorry ass to finish a movie we'd been dragging on for over a month.

It was me.

I wanted her around. I wanted more time with her. More conversation. More insults. More books rammed into my already bruised ribs.

The battleground we'd established had shifted from hate to friendship. And the casualties? Not just the garlic she'd burnt to a crisp.

I was quickly beginning to see: I was the garlic.

The walls I'd built around my heart were crumbling with each and every second I'd let her into my life.

I didn't just want to kiss her.

I wanted to memorize her lips against my own so I could sculpt them out of memory one day.

Did I know how to sculpt?

Fuck no, but for her, I'd learn.

"I'll get the wine."

My voice came out breathless but she didn't notice as I made a quick escape to the kitchen, opening the top cupboard and blocking my face from her view, long enough to hide all the blood that had rushed into my cheeks.

In the living room, I heard Harper humming to herself as she got busy setting up the film. Meanwhile, I did everything I could in the minute I had to figure out the intricacies of normal human respiration. My lungs seemed to have gone on strike, and it was as if they were discussing better working conditions with my heart.

Harper's voice floated to me again, oddly melodic.

"Aiden, got the wine?"

I blindly reached for the closest bottle and returned to the living room, determined to act cool, calm, and collected, despite feeling like everything but.

Harper had set up a blanket fort on the floor, with the coffee table pushed aside to make way for the grand finale of our cinematic adventure. In the middle of it all was a nice, fluffy and inviting spread. For the both of us.

Harper looked innocently up at me and patted the spot next to her.

The woman was killing me.

Gulping, I handed her the wine and then dropped to the floor, sitting down next to her in the blanket fort, watching the play of lights and shadows on her face.

"Ready to climax?"

"I'm sorry-what?" I jerked away from her.

Harper blinked and then gestured at the screen.

"I asked if you're ready for the climax."

She means the movie, you dillhole.

"Oh. Yeah, totally."

I settled back cautiously against the pillows, lying back with my elbows propped.

"Ready as I'll ever be," I said, my voice dying in my throat as she hit play then leaned back, snuggling much too closer to me than I'd imagined as the familiar hint of her scent hit me.

Hard Trees and Forbidden Jasmines.

Yeah, that was going to be the title of my autobiography.

____

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Song: Fallingforyou by The 1975

Merry Christmas in advance my lovelies! With the Yuletide upon us, I have some announcements to make:

★ I hope you like the new cover of INKS AND PIXELS - this one is going to stick for a while as it perfectly captures Harper and Aiden facing their artistic differences and creating a new world (plus New Year's!)

★ The official character casting for INKS AND PIXELS will also be out on Instagram/Twitter soon! Follow me at beaiswriting on Twitter so you don't miss the updates.

★ A book teaser/trailer has been made, complete with a song from the OST + the official actor casting + heartwarming sequences. This will be released in the upcoming year, once the story hits 2,024 reads minimum!

★ IF you're interested, a Christmas-themed character takeover of Harper/Aiden might be happening on Twitter too so you can interact with your fav characters head-on. This will probably be on the 26th or 27th - comment here if you'd like to see it happen!

Since the holidays are upon us, the next chapter update will be on Janaury 5th. I wish you all a wonderful Christmas and happy New Year!

Thank you so much for reading and being part of the INKS AND PIXELS family. Here's to hoping the fam grows larger in 2024.

Love,
Bea