I arrive there with a big smile placed on my face.

The most I could do is act like I'm having a good time. My mother is sitting outside of a Cafe. We have many different types of cafe's in this town. We have ones that serve lunch and dinner, ones that have only pastries and cookies. Or ones that serve coffee and snacks, like where I work at. This one is more fancier, and more expensive. Which screams my mother's preferences.

"Oh you look great, finally." She laughs towards me. I feel the need to scratch her eyes out of socket, I hide it smiling wider. "Theo you look great." She says giving him a hug. I bite my lip softly. We enter the cafe with Theo, and my mother already talking. I feel Theo look at me. He comes closer and moving his hand on my lower back. Really low. I nervously grin up to him. We sit next to a window with me next to Theo and my mother in front of him. I look around, there is not many people here. I would understand if this cafe goes out of business. It doesnt seem popular. "It's a shame Theo that you can't come to my party." I snap back into reality looking at my Mother smiling with teeth.

"Oh I wish I could come, I hope this date will make up for it, but I'm sure Xia will still come." They both look at me but my eye contact is towards my mother. She raises her eyebrows at me. I have no choice, and I would like an little extra money anyways.

"Of course" I say. Theo smiles big like a goof. I turn away knowing they'd continue talking.

Ansel..
I feel like I should tell Theo now. Tell him, Because this isn't right. I care about Theo, and Ansel. But I think I care more for only one.

"Xia!" I'm brought back from my thoughts to my mother's loud excruciating voice. I look at her now. "Tell the waiter what you want to drink." I look up now noticing a man standing hovering over Theo, looking at me. I blush. God how could I not see him. I didn't think I was that deep in thought.

"I'm sorry..." I finally say. "Can I have a glass of orange soda please." The man writes down in his notepad. He writes so fast that it's probably scribbles just to keep himself entertained.

"Honey...you sure you want that?" The waiter looks at her. "Soda is so unhealthy and makes your teeth yellow, even more than it already is." She giggles while putting a hand on Theo's. I don't know why she insist on insulting me every chance she gets.

"I'm getting the soda." I say sternly. My mother glares at me with the "don't try me eyes." The man smiles and walks away. I look away. I feel Theo's hand creep up on my thigh. I felt a huge wave of nervousness fill into my body. His hand moves towards my inner thigh. I look up at him. He squeezes it tightly, it kinda hurts. I feel nervous. He's still engaged in conversation with my mother.

"Excuse me Theo, Daughter, I'm going to the bathroom." My mother stands up and walks away.

Theo turns to me with a worried look in his eyes. "Are you alright X?" Oh so he's just worried about me, good..

"Yeah I'm fine..." I trail off. I feel him move closer, feeling his lips gently kiss my cheek and down my neck. His lips are chapped and uncomfortable. I softly pull away not looking at him.

"Come on baby what's wrong?" I bite my lips.

"I just don't feel too well." I manage to make eye contact with him now. His eyes are rich chocolate brown, I can't see his pupils, they are just brown nearly black. The thought of Ansel's silver grey eyes popped in my thoughts. I felt tears form. Shit.

"We can leave early if you just want to go home." I look away from him. Jesus, I want to leave but it's for him, He likes my family, he likes my mom, and of course he likes me, more like devoted to me. But I don't have the same interest. I might as well stay and make him happy a little bit longer until I tell him, or if he just finds out.

"No, Let's stay I'll feel better once we have something in our stomachs" I smile weakly at him. Of course he buys it and smiles back. My mother comes back and so do our drinks. We order our food and it feels like we've been here for an hour until it finally arrives. I was so wrong for thinking if I ate I would feel better, taking one bite of my sandwich made me feel nauseous. Gladly Theo didn't notice my gags. I eat my lunch silently as My mother and Theo engage in more conversations, full of laughter and smiles. It's more like there date. Though I'm not complaining for feeling invisible right now.

I wish I was.

After Lunch, my mother hugs Theo goodbye she gives him a loving sincere look. A look she never gives to me, Theo walks to the car while she gives me a hug too.

"Try not to screw this up." I pulled away furious with her. She was talking about my relationship with Theo. How dare she say that to me.

"Like what you did to Dad mutiple times." Her eyes stay in contact with mine. " Don't worry I'm not a fucking bitch."

"Excuse me, I am your mother apologize this instant."

"Fuck that." I turn away from her walking to the car. Everyday I had to deal with this torture and she never fucking aplogize for any fucking thing.I'm fucking 21 years old and I'm still not free from this awful bitch. I walk around the car feeling Theo's eyes pierce against my skin. I know he heard that. I sit in the passenger seat. The door opens and he sits in front of the wheels.

"What the hell was that?" He begins.
"Your mother looks really upset now."

"Really?! Did you even hear what she said to me."

"Probably something not worthy to cuss her out. She's your mom." Is he seriously taking her side.

"Are you seriously taking her side."

"Don't overreact X, I'm just saying, I'm not taking any sides, just.." He trails off not looking at me anymore.

"Just what?" He puts his seatbelt on starting the car.

"I just think you shouldn't be that hard on her, it's obvious she misses you, Like she lives miles from this town and she came to visit you."

"More like you." I roll my eyes.

"You did afterall move far away for her, I wouldn't blame her." He continues ignoring me.

"I moved away because I can't stand living with her."

"I don't see why." Of course he does not. He parks his car in a parking lot in front of a shopping center. Kinda not in the mood to shop right now. "Xia.." he says.

"Yeah" Suddenly I feel his hand touch my cheek pushing me into his lips. They connect with mine. My eyes are wide open and I realize I'm not kissing back. I squint my eyes kissing him back softly. I feel his tongue roll along mine making me gag pulling away from him coughing.

"I-I'm sorry." I look at him, I feel my face turn hot, it must be red.

"It's cute you still get nervous around me. Come on let's take your mind off things, I'll buy you something okay?"
I nod.

The rest of the day went slow, I spent my time walking with Theo, talking, It was enjoyable. I felt his hand swim into mine . His grip tightens and it hit me like a motherfucker. I forgot that we were together. Everything we've been doing together made me feel like we were back as friends again. I honestly wish it was true. There is nothing wrong with Theo. Saying this might be cheesy but it's not him, it's me. My feelings have litterally vanished and the sparks are gone. It's starting to hurt now. It feels like I'm betraying his trust, his true feelings are like sand to me. I try to grab it and it slips through my hands. I don't want him hurt. I care about him, but is it so wrong to fall out of love, because what about me?..

"What's wrong?" My heart stops and Theo stops walking. I look up at him he has that same worried face.

"Nothing, I'm just a little lazy, I kinda want to go home." Liar

"Oh yeah sure it's getting kinda late, isn't it?" Theo pulls out his phone, his fingers are still interlocked with mine.

My heart hurts, even worst.

"It's 8:33, damn feels like It's been here for just 30 mins, I'm having such a good time with you though." He smiles widely walking with me again.

"Yeah, Me too.." We don't say anything but I know he's still smiling. As for me faintly. We walk back to the parking lot getting inside the car. "I'm sorry that I want to go home and end are date." I buckle my seatbelt.

"Oh no that's cool, I'll just stay with you and we can order a pizza or something." He starts the engine of his car. Shit, But I didn't mean to invite him. Fuck think of something Xia!

"Oh you sure? It's Wednesday and don't you have work to go to in the morning?" I ask him hoping he'll change his mind.

"Haha, it can wait, my girlfriend comes first." He smiles a goofy smile that is very unattractive.

We eventually get to my house. My stomach drops when I see him still smiling. We enter inside. "I'm going to go shower and change." He nods while I turn around walking into my room closing the door behind me.

Tears don't. I close my eyes. I really should tell him, the best thing is to tell him. I have to tell him. Christ he's in my fucking god sake house. I walk to the bathroom turning on the shower. I strip off my shirt, noticing the purple bruise that was on my chest is now fading into my skin color gladly. I sigh after taking off my bra. I slowly slide down my pants along with my panties. I step in the shower adjusting the temperature all the way up. I moan loudly in pleasure. The water stings my skin when it pours on me. I know this heat isn't helping my bruise. I've always like hot burning showers. I can stand in it for hours, with my pruny fingers and toes and feel such relaxation. Though I am nothing but relaxed right now. My boyfriend is in my house and I really wish he isn't, or just not my boyfriend.

Even if you break up you still cheated.
Sighing I wash my body thoroughly getting out and drying myself. My hair ends up curling but I no longer care. I put it up in a bun and dress myself. I make my way in the living room and Theo is already relaxed, lying on the couch watching tv.

Do it. I walk towards him and he doesn't notice me. He really is oblivious. I tap on his leg sitting at the near edge of the couch. He looks at me smiling, sitting up. "Hey babe." I smile softly back to him. "You hungry?" I shake my head. Theo gets up and starts making something in my kitchen. I'm not really in the mood to eat. Especially when less than 20 minutes his heart will be broken. I look at my phone. No recent messages. I don't blame myself, Ansel must hate me. I go to contacts to his name. I begin typing.

[Hey... Hope you're well, call me when you get this? ok?]

I look at the screen. My eyes burn, and I feel like crying. I delete the message. Coward. Theo sits down next to me, he made me and him shrimp alfredo. It smelled delicious, too bad I can't eat it. I forced myself to take two big mouthfuls. Eventually we both finish, while my eyes remain on the Tv. Theo is looking at me. My heart beats quickly. He keeps looking at me. I watch him in the corner of my eye, he picks up the the remote turning off the TV.

Great. He moves closer to me. I look at him, he looks like a horny puppy.

"You look so beautiful." He slurs out kissing my neck. I tense up.

"I look like shit." I say closing my eyes. I need to tell him.

"I want to fuck this shit."

Um wut?
I let out a nervous chuckle, not wanting him to come closer. But with that luck his hand slides to my hips making him adjust. He eventually gets bored with my neck and goes to my chin. Please don't kiss me..

He moans softly. He actually is getting off by me just being motionless. This is actually starting to disgust me. He grabs my hand and puts it on his bulge. That's when I freak out jumping up away from him.

"Jesus X, what the fuck is up?" He looks at me now searching for an answer.

Now or never..

"Theo, we need to talk." I sit down beside him again. Noticing his bulge is still pressed against his jeans.

"Okay." He says with a very understanding tone. I put my hand on his, feeling very uneasy with this situation. But I need to tell him.

"I-" The doorbell rings making me groan angrily.

"Don't worry I'll get it." Theo gets up walking to the door. I nod frustrated.

Never I suppose.

"Uh, is Xia here?"

That voice..

I stand up walking to the door. Ansel stands in the doorway in his hot glory. He's holding what looks like my army green jacket that I left at the tea shop a while back. I am suddenly aroused by looking at him. He's wearing a tight light blue shirt. I nervously chuckle knowing my face is probably red. I snap out of it totally forget Theo is here, I glare at him. He looks at Ansel with pure abhor making my heart sink.

Think of something Xia!

"Oh I totally forgot." I finally break the silence. "We were suppose to study for tomorrow's test." I turn to Theo. " I totally spaced out I'm sorry Theo... it's a really big deal." I emphasize on the really a bit much, I hope he buys its.

"Oh." He sounds convinced. "What class?"

Fuck.

"Literature. It's for are final grades for the first semester." Ansel says running his hand through his hair. "I'm not really great at Literature so I asked if we could study together." I looked at him with my mouth open. He's so convincing. I even thought it was true for a second. Ansel even had his bag with him which made it more real. I look towards Theo shaking my head in agreement.

"Well I'll leave you two to it." He inhales.

"I'll call.. okay?" I smile. He smiles back kindly.

"Nice to meet you again.. Hansel?" Theo narrows his eyes towards Ansel.

"Ansel actually, and you too Theodore?" I softly giggle to myself.

"Just Theo." They both glare at one another. "Well I'll see you X." Theo walks out the door and Ansel comes in closing the door behind him. We both look at each other.

"I'm sorry, I didn't tell him. I should've I-" Ansel throws his bag across the room moving towards me, he grabs both of my wrist putting them above my head. He slams his lips into mine and I let him kiss the oxygen out of me. He grabs my outer thigh and wraps my leg around his waist. Are lips don't part in this long probably just 10 second kiss. We eventually pull apart. He let's go of my wrist breathing deeply turning me around so he's behind me.

"I've missed you so much, it's been eating at me all day, I can't stay mad at you Alexia. I absolutely can't stay away from you." His large hands glides up and down my hips.

"Then don't." With that he rubs his large bulge between my butt cheeks he supposedly opened wide. Shocked I moan softly, he grabs onto my hips rougher, my back arches. "God Ansel he might be still be outside."I inform him still letting out small moans.

"Who gives a flying fuck about that bastard!" Him cursing turns me on even more. I turn around kissing his lips deeply as he tramples me against the wall again. His left hand pulls my hips into him while his right hand is on the wall, with his body hunched over me. My hands wanders to his belt unbuckling it. Ansel pulls away from the kiss leaving me drooling. His head buried into the crook of my neck. I don't stop now pulling down his boxers. His dick springs right up. I gulp stroking it with both my hands softly. Ansel tenses up, his breathing becomes rapid as his cock throbs on my fingers. I slowly jerk him. A groan comes deep within his chest. God that's sexy. I go faster now as he brings himself up from my neck. He puts both hands on the wall hunching over me. Staring into me deeply. I can read him so clearly now, his whole face is red with his mouth slightly open. His eyes plead me to go down on my knees and taste him.

So I do.

I get on my knees looking up at him. I never did felliato before. With Theo we had sex once and he would usually go down on me. I was too nervous to with him. But I wasn't nervous right now. I wanted to. I wanted to taste this sexy god fucking man. I lick slowly on his long length making his groans louder. I stare at him swirling my tongue on the tip. He meets his eyes with mine. They are full with lust, pleasure and greed. I guess I'm doing it right.

"Suck it baby." He cries out. I put the tip of him in my mouth softly sucking him. I use my right hand to jerk him off while doing so. I know I'm teasing him and it arouses me so much by how he looks. I feel his hand grab the back of my head as he gently thurst inside me. I close my mouth as I take all of him in deepthroating his cock making sure not to gag too much. "Oh fuck." I know he's close so I go faster. Bobbing my head, smelling his rich dirty scent. Everything I'm feeling and smelling is so lewd, it makes my core turn soaken wet, his taste, how big he is. It's nothing what I thought it would be like. "I'm going to.." Ansel puts both of his hands on the back of my head. I suddenly feel warm liquid rushing down my throat. I pull away gagging. Jesus he came so much, was I that good? I look up at him panting with his eyes closed. I stand up pressing my lips against his. He opens his eyes sharply wrapping his arms around my waist. I jump up on him with my legs on the side of his thighs. "Alexia." He says walking towards my room.

"Ansel.." He lays me on my bed with him laying beside me. He takes off my shirt and my shorts as I take off his shirt as well. But we don't do anything else. It's dark but I feel him looking at me. He wraps his arms once again on my waist putting his head between my breast.

"Be mine." Is the last thing I hear, before I fall asleep.