PAIGE

I slept hard my first night back indoors. The wolf let me have his bed; it was a large, comfortable thing. The duvet was thick and white, cotton sheets a deep navy blue. There were four pillows, it looked like it hadn't been used in quite a while. I wondered how many females he had welcomed into it. He seemed like he would be a tender lover. I pushed the thought from my head.

The wolf stood at my back, big arms folded over his broad chest. I hadn't known what to say to his last words to me on the couch, so I just remained silent. The way his deep voice had urged I chose you replayed over and over in my mind. It was bothering me, a lot. More than I was willing to admit.

"I won't bother you, don't run. I'll find you." A consistent reminder.

It seemed like a heavy promise. I didn't think I had the strength to run anyways.

He cracked the door shut behind him, footsteps leading away and back to the living room where I heard him clean up the dishes before settling on the couch. The sensitivity of my new hearing was still something I was getting used to, just like the heightened sense of smell. Just a few more things that added stress to my shoulders.

I peeled back the covers and crawled beneath. It was cozy and warm, which I hadn't felt in a long time. Everything smelled of him, which I also hated to admit, was a great smell. It was naturally appealing to my senses. Pine and rainwater begged my eyes to close and nostrils to take in more. I buried my nose in the sheets.

It took a lot not to cry, sometimes. That was something I never let myself do. Frustration, anger, sadness, and turmoil waged war inside of me. This body, this life was making me insane. I wanted out of it. I wanted to be done.

But for the time being, I let my body slump, and I fell into a dreamless sleep.

- - -

I awoke to the smell of bacon and coffee. It was a very alluring scent. Sleeping in his bed gave me the most rest I had ever gotten in my life. I felt like I could think again, less tired and starved, more like a girl. A struggling, depressed, angry girl... But a girl nonetheless.

There wasn't a want to get up at first. Exhaustion still hung from my bones, adding extra weight, pressing me back into the mattress. I closed my eyes knowing I wouldn't fall back to sleep. It felt like too much energy to breathe or think, so I just laid silently, my mind shut off. Empty. I stayed that way for a while, smelling the bacon tangle with the scent of the wolf, and telling my head to shut off and enjoy the silence. Eventually, I couldn't bear that emptiness and sat up. Gingerly, I carried my legs over the edge of the bed, stretched out my neck and back and walked to the kitchen. I noticed how silent I could be now, but that didn't stop the realization that the way his body tensed showed he knew I was there without looking.

The wolf stood at the stove, frying bacon and eggs in a pan. I was sort of shocked to see such a mundane looking thing from such a wild being that I had grown to hate. My stomach rolled, whether in disgust or hunger I wasn't sure.

He thought it was hunger, peering over his shoulder, he asked "Hungry?"

I shrugged. The wolf looked sort of beautiful in the soft morning light that pressed in from the outside. It was gray and gloomy, old snow lingering on the ground and every shadowed crevice. He was a stark contrast to the outdoors with his deep tan and black hair with yellow eyes.

"Did you sleep alright?" There was genuine care and interest in his voice as if sugar-coated each syllable. I didn't think men- or wolves- were capable of such emotion.

"Well enough," I responded. I wasn't sure the last time someone had asked me such a mundane question. My father never had, that was for sure. Tenderness and care were not qualities that man possessed.

"I'm glad to hear that. What would you like to do today?" He kept his back to me as he spoke, hands busy at the stove. I was sort of grateful for that. "I have the day off of my duties, so we are free to do as you please. Within reason."

"What is it that you do anyways..." I thought my question over in my head. "Beta," I added tentatively.

The wolf tensed at the word and I wondered why. "You knew?"

"Of course I know, from watching your pack. I could see it clearly from the way you acted, your stature, your persona." I chose to take a bite, "You clearly aren't the Alpha."

A roll slid down his shoulders as if he was letting my comment slide. I imagined nothing affected him enough to add stress to the muscles of him. "You are right, I am not. You have met our Alpha, I could never be as cunning or well rounded as he is. If you were to get to know him as I do, you would understand why no one can be him. Faith either, she is just as strong and fierce as he is, maybe even more. That's why they are together and leading. That's the way it is supposed to be." He sent me a sort of small smile over his shoulder. "You can sit, you know."

I eyed the barstool at the island and ignored it, instead, taking a step closer to him. Now this affected him, and it was interesting to watch that just stepping slightly closer to his space had him tensing up all over again. I noted this, very carefully.

"As for my duties," he relaxed, keeping his eyes off me, but I could hear the constant intake of breath, could see the constant movement in the column of his throat. As if he was drinking me in. "I am the protector of the pack, in all senses. I do the paperwork, I strategize attacks, I train the wolves to fight in skin and fur. There's more, but it's all side work."

Leaning up against the counter, I watched him. He had a strong side profile, a sharp jaw peppered with dark scruff that matched his dark hair. His lashes were just as dark and also long, his nose was a bit crooked. He was wild-looking and very large in all aspects of his nature. His build was massive and he easily towered over me, casting me in shadow. I bit the inside of my cheek as my stomach churned once again with the truth of who he was; a wolf.

"Why did my eye color change to yours?" I asked, changing the subject, thinking of my golden left eye and my hazel right one.

"That is something our pack doctor, Alkaline, is still puzzling out. It has to do with my genes. When I bit you, your DNA changed."

"Right, the bite," my fingers found the puckered scar in the crook of my neck. An involuntary shiver fell over me and I dropped my hand.

"You're a bit more pleasant this morning," he noted easily.

"Sleeping in a bed helps," I bit back.

He chuckled and I rolled my eyes, "seriously though, sit, I made breakfast." The wolf retrieved two plates and dished up toast, eggs, and bacon.

"Obviously," I retorted, taking a seat at the island and looking down at the plate he slid in front of me. The scrambled eggs stared back at me, yellow and floppy looking. I was quickly reminded of my father's usual breakfast and I fought the urge to puke.

The vicious loop of do or die reentered my head. I considered what my father would do to me, knowing my new condition. The thought was vaguely terrifying. I knew what he did to these wolves, I had seen it so many times. There would be a bullet between my eyes, or maybe I would be skinned... Maybe they would burn me alive at one of their bonfires. I didn't think my father would leave any room for this kind of betrayal. I was as good as dead to him now.

The realization of this had a new sort of headache piercing the inside of my skull. It was a horrible thought, a horrible life. I had only ever tried to do the best for that man, but in the end, the demons won out.

It was such a terrible feeling to be looking into the barrel of a gun, and not down it.

I looked up at the wolf, I saw the demon, I saw the victim. His eyes met mine from across the island and wondered what he saw staring back at him. Did he see the enemy? Did he see a demon staring right back at him?

Swallowing down the self-loathing, I lifted the fork to my mouth and bite by bite, finished off the plate.

"Do you want more?" He asked though I noticed he hadn't eaten anything.

I shrugged, but I was still starving. Without another word, he unloaded the rest of the food onto my plate and turned around to make more. The kitchen felt colder, or maybe it was just me. I finished the second plate and got up, walking out of the kitchen and into the den, abandoning it on the counter.

Standing in front of the front window and looking out at the path that wound into the woods towards the other log homes and buildings that nestled throughout felt weird. I felt like this wasn't my body, wasn't my life, not anymore. I wrapped my arms around my belly as if to contain my insides.

"I brought you coffee," he said from behind me, as I realized I had entirely zoned out. I wasn't sure how long I had been standing there. I turned slightly to accept the mug from his large hand. Our fingertips brushed in the exchange and I was once again shocked by the feeling of his skin on mine. It was such a strange feeling, entirely unlike anything I had ever felt before. It was electric, heat, rushing up my arm to snag my heart and increase the beat.

I pulled back, the cup in my grasp. It was easier not to look at him, so I turned back to the window and sipped the hot liquid.

"Faith and Cody are coming to talk to you again," the wolf spoke up, taking a seat on the couch. I realized I could hear the fast thumping of his heart in his chest.

"Great," I responded sarcastically, remembering one of my last confrontations with the pair where I had been thrown through the window and into the snow. It felt like a million years ago due to the month in the cell. It was as if I had been in hibernation and was still trying to wake up. Everything was slow, I didn't feel right, and my anger was a sleepy thing that dwelled in the back of my head.

He was quiet for some time, maybe lost in his thoughts like I was, and then he opened his mouth. "I just have one question,"

I didn't move.

"Is it so bad? To be like me, I mean. To be a wolf."

There was a want to retort, to take a chunk out of his pride... But at the same time, it got me thinking, it was a good question. Had I been asked this question years later, I would have said no, definitely not. Yet, I was a different girl, standing there in front of the window. In my reflection in the pane that day, I saw my father. So my answer was very securely yes.

"It's the worst feeling in the world," I told him. "Being a wolf is to be my own enemy." Turning around, I faced him very suddenly.

The wolf was shocked by the sudden shift in positions.

"I wish I was dead so that I didn't have to live like this." And there it was, the venom, the anger, the vicious manner to which I protected myself from men, enemies, the world... It was a constant in my life that I still had. Anger was one stable thing that held me down after the bear attack. If it weren't for anger, I may have just floated away into oblivion.

It was as if the bear had eaten the child out of me. The one I had tried to cling to. Maybe I was the one who had eaten that child over the years. Or maybe my mother took her with her. Nonetheless, it was her ghost that had been haunting my urges and cravings over the years as I grew up. But then she was gone, and there were bigger things to worry about.

Those lips parted to open his mouth before it closed and reopened again. I had hurt him with my truth and it showed very obviously. However, that didn't deter him. "You know half the story of the wolf."

"I know enough," I responded with assurance.

"You don't," he shook his head. "How could you know the good that comes from us, from nature? All you know is how to concoct different ways to manipulate the natural balance without knowledge of consequence. Do you know of consequence?"

"I know plenty of consequence," I snarled back at him, snapping his mouth shut. "I know struggle, consequence, strength, choice, survival. I have been through more than you know."

"That's different," he responded, folding large arms over his chest. "Human life is not natural, not supportable. I'm talking about real life." The male got in my space.

I stared up at him, challenging him to do something. He didn't.

"Nature, the Earth, the land and sea and trees... The animals. We are all connected. Your clan disrupts this. But you already knew that didn't you?"

My brows furrowed in, I planned what to say next but he beat me to it.

"You said you planned to kill all of us, so you must know what you will do to the ecosystem in turn... Right?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, feeling the familiar heat of anger flare in my cheeks.

"Exactly. You have much to learn of my kind, our kind. We are not the monsters you believe us to be. We are a working component of the land. We are more apart of it than you are. Our morals and purposes run much deeper than yours do. My tribe was born from the Earth, and we are as much a part of it as the trees and the wind. You and your clan are the invasives, your clan is the real enemy."

Those words felt like a jab, like a bite at the being of me. I wanted to retaliate, maybe shoot him, but I was left with an itchy trigger finger and an open mouth empty of words. "How would you know anything about my morals or purposes?" I said instead, turning back to the window to sip at my coffee. I could hear footsteps approaching in the distance, this sensitive hearing was something to get used to.

"I only know what you tell me. That's on you." He raised his chin and I heard him intake a breath. "Our Alphas are almost here, finish your coffee and behave. Remember, you're on your last strike."

"Yeah, yeah." I downed the rest of the coffee and put the mug on the coffee table so I could fold my arms in front of my chest and stand before the fire. There were nerves crawling up my spine at the prospect of the Alphas coming. We weren't exactly on pleasant terms and I was walking on thin ice with my reputation. Despite the unease, I realized, I was far from scared.

DAMON

Paige was a female that was consistently hard to read. If I couldn't feel what she did internally, I'm sure I wouldn't get a single clue on what she had going on. Even with that ability, I still found myself stumped and frustrated. She was making me into a wolf that I didn't want to be, one that was turning to bitterness and stress. That was never me, I was not an angry wolf. I didn't quite know how to quell those feelings yet, though.

I watched her stand in front of the fireplace, seemingly zoned out, but I knew she felt some nervousness around the Alphas' arrival. It was good to feel that way. It isn't good to show pride and carelessness around these wolves, this is a game of submission. This is a game of ladders. We are animals of hierarchy.

The door opened not a breath later and Cody stepped through right after Faith, bringing in air from outside that was fresh and cold. Cody nodded to me, Faith wouldn't take her eyes off Paige. Faith didn't like Paige, at all.

Cody and Faith settled themselves next to one another on the sofa.

"Alphas," I addressed them, smiling.

"We just need a minute of your time. How are you, Deano?" Faith looked to me, smiling sweetly. She was an amazing Alpha; strong, stern, undeniably kind and nurturing.

"Been better," I sat in the armchair nearest the fire and waited for Paige to pick a seat. This was a test; stay standing and face the consequences, or find a seat and show that she can comply without hostility.

Paige was many things, but she wasn't an idiot. She sat down on the stool beside the fire and folded her legs. I was surprised by this, but her face was blank and she had her emotions on lockdown, I couldn't tell what was going through her head. I realized, she was also cunning. Paige was a hunter after all.

"Feeling any better?" Faith turned her gaze on my mate.

"Been better," she repeated.

"I'm sure you have," Cody sat forward.

Faith remained relaxed, in fact, she crossed one leg over the other and folded her hands over her knee. "What's your move, female?"

"My move?"

"What will you be choosing? We have given you one last chance to stay here alive, protected. We have been gracious; offered you care, food, shelter... You have been less pleasant to us. So what will it be?" Faith is pressing her with teeth exposed. Unease is coming off Paige.

Paige looked around and I think it hit her there because her face showed a flicker of something not unlike worry or maybe pain. She saw the way she had been cornered by more powerful wolves, she realized that her life may have meant a little more to her than she thought, and she was taken aback by this.

"Paige?"

Paige's eyes snapped back to the Alpha pair and her lips parted to allow the few words, "I will comply." The sound of her voice was gruff, I could see the way she swallowed her grimace and grit her teeth.

"Very good," Faith dove right in. "Deano, take her to your mother. She is a great woman to be around. We need you for other things today."

I nodded, orders were orders.

"And don't forget the cuffs." Faith stood and approached Paige. She took hold of her jaw and guided Paige to her feet so they could stare eye to eye though Paige was still a good deal shorter than the Alpha. "Show me that you can be here with us. Prove to me that you can be who you are meant to be and not what they want you to be. Do so and I believe we could be great friends." Faith brushed her cheek against Paige's and I watched that same pain flicker over her face.

Faith took Cody's hand and they left together to engage once again with their busy lives.

"She's an amazing female," I told Paige who said nothing and stared out the window again, her arms had slid around her stomach as if to protect her insides. Gingerly, I took one of her hands from her hold. The shot of electricity snaked up my arm to coil around the muscle that was my heart. It has seemed to climb into my throat before bottoming out to my lower stomach and spreading warmth over the length of me. Trying to quell the feeling, I adjusted half of the handcuffs in my hand to slide one and tighten it over her wrist with ease. The one I placed around my own wrist seemed maxed out and more willing to release its hold. "Time to meet my parents I suppose."

I lead her into the cold, the walk wasn't too far to my parents' cabin. She was quiet on the walk and I soon realized she was silently panicking. It was known to me very clearly at that point that she felt trapped, hopeless, no distinct path sat before the female I walked with that day.

She had been in the territory for just over a month and little progress had been made. Paige's anger was far from dissipated, in fact, it was simmering in the bones of her, and her hatred had probably been fueled by the cell. The only difference was she was quieter in a way. I wasn't sure I liked that.

"This is it," I stopped before the large A-frame cabin I had grown up in. The windows were lit up with warm light in the early evening, casting their shadows into the snow. Smoke from the woodstove traveled up into the air from the stack on top of the roof. From outside, the scent of grilled salmon and fresh-baked cookies was clear as day and even more enticing.

Paige's eyes moved to the house and locked on. There was an unreadable expression on her face.

"Are you alright?" I asked, she felt off.

"Just fine," she responded easily and started for the front door.