PAIGE

Eyes alert and watchful, scanned the forest from my position on a rocky outcrop far, far above. I was looking for life, movement, my targets. They roamed the forest in happy harmony, and I prowled the outskirts. Just beyond their strong scented marking places where they trampled a path from running the perimeter so often.

I always stayed out of reach, out of scenting range, but I wondered if they knew anyways. It seemed like they might.

Lately, I had deliberately forgotten my sketchbook at home, there were only two pages left to fill, and instead brought a bow with me. A knife hitched to the belt of my pants as well, and a tripwire I could set up if I wanted. I never felt like it, though.

It wasn't until a significant misstep that I ever encountered any trouble with these creatures. It was the Alpha I came in contact with. He was a large, black wolf. His ruff was always puffed out along the upper ridge of his spinal column, always alert and aggressive in the forest.

He noticed me moving down to head home one evening as the sun was setting and his eyes followed. Those eyes held intelligence, dark grey, almost black from my distance. They weren't the typical lupine color most wolves possessed. Then again none of these wolves really fit that look.

Except one.

The Beta of the pack, almost larger than the Alpha due to his protective nature, his coat was a blue-gray color. He had the most beautiful yellow toned eyes I had ever seen. I would dream of them often, finding them slipping into my subconscious and appearing in the trees or the golden clay. Or, occasionally on the face of a man... The features always blurred out and distorted. Though I'd never tell anyone of this.

Who would I tell anyways?

I had stared at the Alpha for too long, and he let out a growl I could detect even from my standpoint further above. Letting my gaze drop with a shiver of my shoulders, I began the descent again. Each time I looked back however, he was following at distance, and he knew that I was watching.

When I hit the flat ground beneath the ridge, I was sprinting, my backpack knocking against my shoulder blades and tailbone. I pulled out my knife and ran with it, despite all warnings of danger. It was flee until I had to fight. But, we never fought, he gave me a wide berth of area around, consciously trotting at a slower pace. Teasing. I felt like prey.

Alpha wolf didn't stop either, not until I threw myself through the back slider and locked the door. My breath clouded the cold glass as I watched him dance along the tree line, piss on a bush, and then prance back on his way. As if he had won.

I suppose he did.

The next day, Dad and I set out traps. Spiked leg-holds, old conibears, and heavy duty snares. Conibears had been illegal for years by then, dad didn't care. Devices littered our property for acres upon acres, and my father pointed every one out to me. Made me take notes, promise I would remember where these killing machines were. I imagined it was because he thought if I was stupid enough to lead one home once, I would do it again.

The contraptions were well camouflaged and looked severe in their hidden states. It sent a jolt of unease through me whenever I looked at them or came across one.

Twice daily, we would check the traps, but I didn't think the wolves would be so stupid to venture that far again. My father, however, wasn't so convinced. He started leaving a loaded gun by the back door. Ready to blow one up at anytime.

A week later, I was perched on a rock, lower down by the gray brook that fed into the mountain river that would soon begin to rage with winter. My camera sat beside me but I hadn't touched it in awhile. In fact, it was as if nearly all the old aspects of my life dissipated when Death's contraptions met my hands only six years earlier. Pictures were not given my time anymore, neither was the act of drawing or writing. Every waking minute was handed to the hunt, every aspect of my life. My childhood, wonder, and curiousity in tow. I watched them wave goodbye at the door, they stood outside the windows like a puppy left out in the rain. Waiting for my previous self to let them back in.

I didn't notice something had been watching me until slowly all the hairs on the back of my neck stood to attention and goosebumps riddled my arms. My eyes slowly scanned the trees once more, not the normal fast fleeting glances for movement, but deliberate investigating. I became further rooted into my spot when I saw him.

The Beta was so close and so hidden. His yellow eyes were alight with mischief and that same curiosity I left behind and they were so beautiful. I wanted to get up, to move closer, to touch this wild beast. But I didn't, I didn't move.

His coat shimmered even in the dim, he was a proud wolf with a full chest and thick legs corded with muscle. His muzzle looked as if it had dipped in black paint, fading into that iceberg gray color that was quickly becoming a favorite of mine. I really wanted to get closer and feel him. My hands were itching to run themselves through the course outer hairs and through to the downy fluff beneath. But still, I did none of those things.

Something twinged inside me that day as that male moved in closer. For the first time in a long while, I felt secure. The feeling was confusing, making me angry.

"Hello." I said to the wolf, looking off into the forest to avoid eye contact. I wanted him to leave, I didn't want him to leave me there, I didn't want him to die. I wasn't scared of this thing, but he was making me nervous. His proximity, lack of hostility, and the intelligence in his eyes were seeding weariness within me. I shook my head as he refused to budge. "It isn't safe for you here." I cried out the words and felt a strong pang of hurt in my chest. Tears tracked down my cheeks, I realized the hollowness in my chest was a self hatred that had grown and grown.

In fact, his look said it all. We both knew I wouldn't. Couldn't. Something about him...

Beta wolf shook out his large head as if in disbelief and slowly backed up into the shadows, but his eyes never left my downcast ones, I felt the heat of such a wild yet docile gaze. I wished he would've attacked me. Maybe then I would feel better about the next time we talked, and the next time, and the next time.

Because in the end, the best gift I thought I could give him was a quick death. That's all there ever was.

"He just wants me to hunt you guys because of my mother. Wolves killed her." I told the Beta one day. He wandered around me all the time I was out in the bush. Sometimes I think he even followed me home. I wondered if he would step in a trap one day. Always talking to him and watching for him. His eyes drew me in like the ocean to the moon.

Neither of us should have been on the other's territory. Yet, it was almost as if he was an in. I could get closer and closer to the Alpha, my central target, with the help of his closest partner. The protector none the less. It was twinging my gut to be so using and cruel in this lying way... I told myself it was just a better conscious. One that had no idea who my father was.

"But I do anyways because he wants me to." I gave the wolf a long hard look, willing him to run away, to believe me. He wouldn't.

I hated myself. I wanted to be somewhere far away from here, where things didn't kill each other like this. Deliberate, conniving, hatred. 

Our eyes met for a long time, daring each other to look away. At first I realized how stupid I was, locking eyes with a wild animal is suicide. Then, I realized how nice it felt. Warmth was flooding me like molten affection, it streamed into my veins and my heart doubled pace to spread it from my toes to my brain. Was he really... Wild? The thought occured to me once or twice.

Getting onto my knees, I faced him and sat still. Unmoving, his eyes pinned me still as he stalked closer. I wanted to find my knife, have it ready... But I would never move. Not when I could feel warm breaths puff from a wet nose, not when I could smell pure pine and river water from my spot. Our proximity so close is started to fill with tension, a good kind.

Something was between us, and when my eyes met his again... Everything became right, pleasant, real. I felt truly whole this time. Or at least I got a taste, just a brief glimpse at what could be. I felt the wonder and curiousity peer into my head with hope, I saw the stars in his lupine eyes, I saw life.

The Beta didn't make any move to come closer or step away, so hesitantly I raised two pale hands, once tanned by summer's sun. His eyes flickered shut when my hands touched the thick fur of the sides of his neck. A soft grunt of appreciation left his cracked muzzle. I smiled a little. He wasn't so bad, he was gentle and at peace, not bloodthirsty or beastly. It was odd in a way I didn't want to think about, this was against every wolf's nature.

A giggle left my lips, one that hadn't since I was a small girl and still played with dolls. "I'm petting a wolf." He shivered beneath my touch. I felt younger again, as if I hadn't grown up the moment I touched the metal of a killing machine. He smelled musky, of cedar and roots imbedded in soil.

This was against every law of nature, no where in any book I had read, any word I had heard, or any film I had seen... Had any wolf, sane, willingly let a human touch them. The thought was etching into my mind, willing me to see the wrongdoing of these actions. I heard my father's voice, saw his scolding. I willed the thoughts away.

I felt it then, the bliss of that wolf's presence, of his body. For a brief second, I could see a cozy log cabin in dead winter, a plate of warm breakfast on a counter, hot mug of coffee clasped between cold hands, and a pair of yellow eyes. I felt everything.

A tear slid down my cheek and dripped onto the collar of my coat.

Until the sharp bark broke the sheet of silence and the trance broke.

The Beta stepped away quickly, whirling around to reveal the Alpha, before shielding my body with his. I felt protected, yet strange. This was all mysterious, wrong, yet kind of endearing. Confusion was like infection spreading through my veins, chasing the bubbly warmth away like ice water.

It was a stare down between the two wolves and I found myself patting my pockets for the knife. I hadn't brought the gun that day, limiting the distractions in order to observe. Now I was regretting it, if Dad found out how close I was to the Alpha... I would be the dead one.

The Alpha is the key to the pack, without that figure, they fall apart. Like sheep without a shepherd. Kill the Alpha, and the whole pack is under your thumb.

Only for the first time, I didn't care about what would happen with Dad if I didn't kill these creatures... I didn't want to.

I thought of the old female whose life I took, a soul hailing from their own pack. I listened to these wolves grieve for weeks. Wondered if they knew it was me at the time. Young, years ago.

Another sharp bark from the Alpha had my Beta wolf whining out in protest, but one equally edged look and he was shoved away and I was in the open.

Suddenly, I was slammed onto my back, all reasonable thoughts dissipating as my skull made contact with the hard packed ground of approaching winter. The Alpha was over the top of me, pinning me down. I couldn't focus, and I was scared.

My eyes lolled about, bleary, I could only make out the gist. Grey eyes piercing into mine, I was willed to look away, surrender. Fury and pain flourished within my chest, kicking my heart into overdrive. I was about to grab my knife with fumbling hands when his jaws clamped around my throat and I froze.

I heard a whine distantly but my ears were clogged with cotton. The grip he had on me was firm, proving the lethalness of his bite had he wanted it to be. He was deadly serious, this was a test. I didn't shake, swallow, or even blink. My eyes stared up at the blank slate sky as seconds turned to years.

I didn't move an inch, my breath caught in my throat and my heart stopped. His jaws were indenting my skin, leaving bruises where his incisors pressed in firm.

And then, he was gone. A moment later he was replaced by the Beta but I still wasn't moving. He licked the indentations on my neck and nuzzled my head and cheeks.

My arms and legs decided to work finally and I whipped out my knife, jamming it into his flank and getting up with a break neck pace. I felt like I was fleeing for my life, I was terrified. There was a small dab of blood on my neck and hands when I got home, but I ignored it.

I pushed through the sliding doors, panting, trying to calm myself down. When I turned, I slumped against the door, my legs wanting to give out. Distantly, I heard the clank of dishware and the carbonated noise of beer cans opening. Dad's coworkers were over.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt the hand on my arm, turning to see Tye just made me sick all over. Watching his nostrils flare, I imagined he was mad at me for staying out so late.

His eyes didn't stray away from my neck. I glared at him, pulling a scarf off the rack of the mudroom and wrapping it around.

"What?" I snapped, oddly defensive.

His brows raised, a light brown color, slightly darker than his hair. "You were out late."

"Why is everyone here?" I peeked around him, towards the kitchen where I could see the edge of someone sitting at the table.

"Just took out another pack, successfully. It was a big job, lot of money just came in."

Nodding, I realized I didn't want to feel the regret and disgust that rolled in anyways. It was a mixture of emotions with the bite marks on my neck.

What scared me most, was the power of what I was up against. And it wasn't just the wolves.

DAMON

She held me, exactly six years after an elder wolf of our pack was killed and taken away. It was a sad day, none of our wolves had ever died from anything other than natural cause in our knowledge. It was the eye opener to something bigger than us all.

It was humans encroaching on something bigger than themselves.

Everyone crossed boundaries, just as she was. Dancing dangerously close to the territory line and making herself a target without even knowing it. Taking pictures of us, those who showed themselves, and jotting down things in her journal. Slowly it evolved, as it always did. Her cheek bones growing harsh, eyes guarded yet wonderous when she was alone... I was trapped in the way Winter clung to her face and hair even in the brutal summer humidity. Too enthralled by this female to even notice how that pen had turned into a deadly contraption.

I saw her once, as a young female, holding up a meadow lupine's purple petal to the sunlight. It was such a pure sight, even from then I had known; she was the one.

It was only confirmed tenfold when her small, yet deft hands threaded into my pelt and pulled my giant form close. I felt like a mountain at least, and she was a delicate wildflower. And there she was, defying nature, soaking up my scent. I was silently pleased, and greatly devistated. How could someone so innocent as her join a world as different as mine.

After Cody's test, a simple show of dominance, commonplace custom of wolves, she was different.

I saw fear strike through her, smelt the pungency in the air as if she were a fawn being preyed on by the very wolf. The innocence displaced itself when the knife buried in my side. It caught flesh and some muscle, nothing that couldn't be fixed within a few days of rest. The advanced healing kicked ass.

Then I didn't let her see me for awhile, I was sort of angry she had wounded me, but I understood too. Fear could do such things. Didn't make it right, though.

The shock on her face was blatant at my clean side. Just a taste of what would be a heart attack if she was sane and found out what I was; a wolf and a man.

"She kills us. Her whole family kills wolves, Damon." Cody said, his voice was all hard edges but understanding.

"She's my mate." I reply with the helplessness of it all. "She will come around."

I figured it had to end okay. Afterall, the Moon was involved.