Mabel's Guide To Dating!

-camera's recording-

Mabel sat at a table surrounded by plush toys, smiling forward, "As we all know, I am a dating expert. In fact, I can't get the boys to leave me alone!"

-cut to the window-

"Mabel, I love you so much, baby!!" Mabel deepens her voice as she moves a cardboard cutout of a boy outside the window, "Why won't you let me into your life?!"

-cut to Mabel back at the table-

"You know what you did, Zac!!" Mabel yells back before smiling forward, "Today we're gonna test the date-ability of three of Gravity Falls's swingin-est bachelors!"

-cut to-

"Soos!!"

"Get ready to fall in love, America!!" Soos says as he faces the side before looking around, "Am I- am I looking at the right camera?"

-pan to-

"(y/n)!!"

He crosses his arms in response, letting out a sigh, "I'm just here to make sure my camera doesn't end up in pieces."

-pan to-

"Grunkle Stan!!"

"I'm only here because you promised bacon!"

"Eh," Mabel throws over a strip of bacon, Stan catching it like a dog.

He smiles after that, "I'm pacified!"

Dipper's voice came from behind the camera, he had promised to keep it safe from his sister, "Mabel, are you sure this is a good idea?"

"All ideas are good ideas!!" she steps into the frame, smiling widely, "And now for a simple nine-thousand question dating quiz!!"

-static-

"Should men always pay for dinner?" Stan reads out of his long paper before looking at the camera in confusion, "What is this, Russia?"

"How many kids would you like to have?" Soos reads from his own, "Seven, preferably! That's one to love every day of the week!"

(y/n) just kept staring at the questions, until he finally looks over, "Mabel, no offense, but I'm not straight enough to get through all these question."

"Eh?!" Dipper's choke and stutter was heard from behind, the camera struggling to remain still at his sudden freak out.

Mabel was having none of it though, "Make your posture straighter then!!"

"That's not what-!!" (y/n) interrupts himself with a groan, letting his head fall back.

"And while they're busy working," Mabel peeks her head into frame, "we give you: animal dating!!"

-clip of Mabel placing a toad next to another toad-

Toad-ally Daring!

-clip of Mabel placing a wooden carving of an owl next to a real one, then grabbing its tail as it tries to fly away in a panic-

Hoot do you love?!

-clip of Mabel putting on acorns for earrings, two squirrels crawling up her and starting to attack as she runs around screaming-

Together Fur-ever!

-cut to a cardboard cutout being raised into frame with the words Results painted on it-

-cut to Soos, (y/n), and Stan-

Mabel walks over to Stan first, "Grunkle Stan, on a scale of one to five, you scored.. a three."

"Yes!! Yes!"

"This will limit your dating pool to widows, lady plumbers, and convicts."

"I still consider this a victory!"

She then walks over to Soos, "Next up, Soos, you scored.. Ooh, a five!"

"I have no flaws!"

"You are open to anyone in the dating pool, everyone wants a taste of you, hot stuff!"

"My grandma was right all along! I am the world's most perfect man!" Soos raises his arms, pigeons softly landing on them.

She then walks over to (y/n), "And last but not least, (y/n), you scored.." her eyes widen, checking the paper again, "A twelve?!"

"How is that even possible?!"

-cut to Dipper sitting outside the shack-

"It was actually me that placed all those votes, but," he shrugs sheepishly, "No one needs to know that, right?"

-cut to the living room with the three bachelors-

Dipper's voice is heard from behind the camera, "Guess it's just another mystery."

"And there you have it, folks!" Mabel starts, "(y/n)'s good lucks are so high it breaks records!!"

"I'll say.." Dipper mutters under his breath before raising it back up, "Wait, is this still recording?!"

-cut to a cardboard cutout with Final Thoughts painted on it-

-cut to Mabel back at the table with plush toys-

"Love is all around us! And if it seems that you two aren't the perfect fit, force it!!" She then looks to the side in terror, "Oh no, the squirrels, they're back!!" Screaming, she runs towards the camera as the two squirrel crawl around her.

-camera stops recording-

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Mabel's Guide To Stickers!

-camera's recording-

Mabel's sitting on a chair near the camera with Dipper lying on his bed and (y/n) sitting on the floor, back pressed against the side of the bed, with her smiling at the camera, "Throughout history, stickers have been the backbone of many great civilizations!"

"No, they haven't," Dipper adds, not looking up from his book.

"The ancient Greece used leaches for stickers!" Mabel continues as she raises a history book, showing the pages, "The more stickers you had the cooler you were!"

"Nope, not true!"

"The ancient Aztecs' chest skull was the modern equivalent to today's.." she raises a Jamaican orange sticker, "Orange You Happy, man?"

(y/n) has to cover his mouth to hold in his laughter, while Dipper glares at his sister, "Yes, Aztec war paint was exactly like a rasta orange. Mabel, have you ever read a history book?!"

"Edited out!!"

-static-

-Dipper and (y/n) removed from view-

Mabel turns back to the camera, "Edit!"

-static-

"Edit!"

-static-

"Edit!"

-static-

"Cut away!!" yelled Mabel, face covered in stickers.

-cut to Mabel on her bed, holding a book titled the Sticktionary-

"Let's take a look at my personal Sticktionary!!" She opens the book, "Stickers fall into several distinct categories. Puffy stickers,"

Soos's hand reaches into the frame, touching the page, "So soft!"

"Hands off," (y/n)'s hand smacks Soos's away.

Mabel proceeds, shaking the next page, "Goofily-eyed stickers,"

"AH, it's like they're watching me!!" Soos yells.

"Bumper stickers, scratch and sniff, sniff and touch, listen and taste, and price stickers!" Mabel smiles at the camera, "You can get these ones free at the store!"

(y/n)'s voice follows, "Don't they need those?"

-cut to Mabel at a store-

"Sticker sticker sticker," Mabel sang as she walked past the shelf of TVs, removing their price tags.

"Free TVs everybody!!!" screamed a nearby customer, with a large group of people starting to take the TVs in a rampage.

-cut to Mabel back in the living room with her book-

"Listen, (y/n), you shouldn't doubt my authority!" she starts explaining, "In the sticker world, I'm the girl who can get you things!"

(y/n)'s tone was one of doubt, "Who and why would need any of these stickers in the first place?"

-cut to Mabel eating ice cream at the gift shop, Stan behind the counter-

"I need a sticker to put on my car that will, you know, get the cops off my back," Stan explains.

Mabel pulls out a large Baby-On-Board sticker, which Stan was about to gladly take before she pulls it away, "Uh-uh! My price!"

With a sigh, Stan pulls out a huge box of sprinkles, which Mabel stares at for a second as she smiles widely, "I'm gonna get so sick!"

-cut to Mabel eating the sprinkles in her room, Dipper back on his bed with (y/n) beside him-

Dipper glances over to her, "Mabel, don't you think those are hazardous to your health?"

"You don't exactly have the best stomach, you know, you're gonna regret it," (y/n) adds.

"Edit!!"

-static-

"Edit!"

-static-

"Edit!"

-static-

"What?! How'd I get here?!" asks Soos, now on the side of the frame holding a tray with a burger and soda, Dipper and (y/n) nowhere in sight.

Mabel pulls up the sunglasses she edited in, "Thanks for watching Mabel's Guide to Stickers!! And now a riddle, what kind of sticker can save your life?"

-cut to Mabel standing in the hall-

"Waddles, if you please!"

-pan to Waddles on a chair with the grappling hook under him-

Waddles oinks, stepping on the grappling hook's button.

-pan to follow the grappling hook as its shot out back to Mabel-

The hook hits Mabel's chest, pushing her onto the ground. Unharmed, she sits up and opens her jacket, revealing her chest covered in stickers, "Puffy stickers!!" She laughs, then glares down, "Still really hurt, though."

-camera stops recording-

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Mabel's Guide To Fashion!

-camera's recording-

-a montage of photos of Mabel modeling different sets of clothing is shown-

-cut to Mabel leaning against the gift shop counter, talking on the phone-

Grenda's voice is heard from behind the camera, "The attitude!"

-cut to Mabel's bed, where (y/n) sits, wearing a pair of glasses-

Mabel walks across the frame, with Grenda voicing over, "The boys love it!"

(y/n) looks at the camera in annoyance, "Wait, what was I suppose to do?"

"Flip up your glasses!" Grenda whispers back.

"Like this?" (y/n) flips back the glasses.

-several zoom ins into (y/n)'s face-

-cut to Mabel sitting between hers and Dipper's bed-

"Guesswhatit'sMabel!!" she greets before sitting back, "Everyone wants to look as amazing as me, but most people don't have time for fashion in their busy day-to-day life! And that's why I've created.." Candy and Grenda jump into the frame, the three yelling in synch, "FLASH MAKEOVERS!!"

-cut to Soos drinking coffee in the living room-

Soos looks over, "Hey, guys, what are you a-"

"GRENDA, HOLD HIM DOWN!!" Mabel yells, Grenda running over and tackling Soos to the ground, who's screaming in terror.

-cut to a very vampiric-looking Soos-

"These pants are so tight!" he points out, "I can't move!"

"You can thank us later!!" Mabel yells before the running out with Grenda.

"If you're watching this, call for help!!" Soos yells before falling over, an expression of panic on his face, "I'm down, Soos is down!!"

-cut to Stan in his bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror-

"I'm Stan and I was wrong, I'm singing-" Stan's song is interrupted by Grenda tackling him to the ground, "What's happening?!"

"BEAUTY IS HAPPENING!!" Mabel answers as Grenda starts to paint his face.

-cut to Mabel and Grenda standing beside Stan, who's face is painted like a tiger-

Grenda hands him a mirror, and he looks at himself before responding, "I'd be pretty mad at you girls, if I didn't look so fantastic!"

"SUCCESS!!!" Mabel yells, "Take it to the streets, girls!!"

"I'm taking your aftershave," Grenda says as she grabs a bottle, following Mabel out.

-cut to Mabel and Grenda out in town-

"Okay, gals, we need a real challenge," Mabel says as she stares at the people walking by.

"Old Man McGucket!!" the man yells as he sits on a nearby bench, spitting into a bucket, "Spittin' in a bucket!!"

Grenda's eyes narrow, "This one is a toughy."

"Let's try something bold!!"

-cut to Mabel drawing a smiling face on the back of McGucket's head-

Mabel pulls away once she's down, "Am I good or am I good, girls?"

"Absolutely stunning!!" Grenda replies.

"Now we cover up that... problem area...." Mabel walks over to McGucket's face, grabbing his beard and throwing it over his face and head so it works as hair, combing it, "Now you just have to walk backwards everywhere you go and bingo! You're fabulous!"

"That's the way my body naturally wants to move anyway!!" He stands up, standing to walk backwards, frightening a woman that was walking in their direction, making her run the opposite way.

-cut to Mabel and Candy on Mabel's bed-

Mabel and Candy drew on each other's faces as Grenda spoke, "Join us next week when Mabel tells us what next season has in store!"

-cut to Mabel in front of the window-

Mabel raises her head, wearing a top hat before placing a tiny top hat on the top hat, giving jazz hands, "Hat hats!!"

Ohhh yeahhh!

-camera stops recording-

💫💫💫

Mabel's Guide To Color!

-camera's recording-

-cut to Mabel in her room with the lights off, a sheet placed over the wall as a light shines against it-

"Ah color, it's all around us!!" Mabel begins to explain, standing in her room in the dark as a sheet is lit up on the wall, pictures appearing against the sheet, "From the green of a nauseous twin brother, to the weird orange of an old man's noise, to the beautiful sky blue of toilet water..!"

"I'm in that one!!" Soos points at the screen.

"Yes you are, Soos. It wasn't always this way!"

-zooms in to a photo of the Great Depression-

"According to history, the world was black and white until color was invented by a magic wizard named Grandolf The Fabulous!"

-zooms out-

Mabel turns to the camera, "What's your favorite, Gravity Falls?!"

-cut to Pacifica at the mall-

"Hot pink!"

-cut to a closeup of Grenda-

"Beige!!"

-cut to Dipper on his bed-

"(y/n)," he answers before looking at the camera in confusion, "Wait, what was the question again?"

-cut to Soos outside on the golf  cart-

"Lasers," he answers before correcting himself, "Ooh! Or liquid metal! Does leopards count as a color?"

-cut to Wendy on the couch with her father and brothers-

"Flannel," she answers with a smirk.

-cut back to Soos-

"Okay okay, I've narrowed it down to Aurora Borealis, Camouflage,"

-cut to Candy in the woods-

Candy raises a colorful paper, "Magic vision poster!"

-cut to Gompers the goat outside-

The goat bleats, subtitles appearing underneath, 'Burgundy'.

-cut to Stan packing things into a suitcase in his office-

"None."

"What?!" Mabel yells from behind the camera.

"I don't have a favorite color," he closes his suitcase, standing up, "I don't even like colors."

"No even... rainbows?!"

"Beats me, I've never even seen a rainbow."

"WHAT?!?"

-cut to Mabel wearing an alarm on her head as she honks airhorns-

-cut to Dipper, (y/n), Candy, and Grenda sitting on Dipper's bed, Waddles on the floor-

Mabel starts to speak from behind the camera, "Alright, guys, how can we get Grunkle Stan to see a rainbow? I need ideas, people!!"

"Sometimes if I drink expired milk, I see rainbows!! I'm gonna try it right now!!" Grenda pulls out a gallon of expired milk, starting to chug it down.

"Too bad it's already July," (y/n) replies, "Had it been last month, we could've taken Stan to the Pride Parade."

Dipper's back straightens at the recommendation, "H-have you ever been to one before?"

(y/n) smiles down at him, "Yeah I went last year, it was fun!"

With an awkward laugh, Dipper glances down, cheeks growing red, "Cool, that's- that's cool..!"

Meanwhile, Candy had drawn something on a piece of paper, showing it once it's done and explains it, "What if we reflect the rainbows from the falls into Stan's window?"

(y/n) thought about it for a second, "Hey, that's not a bad idea!"

"Yeah!!!" Grenda yells before falling off the bed, passing out.

Dipper and (y/n) stare in worry before Candy replies with a smile, "It's fine, she does this."

-cut to Stan's office-

Mabel walks into frame, "Alright, we're about to unleash the power of the Roy-G-Biv-A-Tron into Stan's office!"

-cut to the waterfall-

Dipper and (y/n) are standing on a rock, both wearing sunglasses as they hold a full-length mirror. Candy stood nearby, directing where to move the mirror, soon managing to reflect it the right way.

-cut to Stan's office-

Stan walks into frame, heading to the closed window, "Nothing brightens a dark room like a light from a window! Time to open the windo- OH!!!" He flinches back as the rainbows bean strongly into his office, "NO!!! WHY!!!" He falls to the ground covering his eyes in pain, "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!?"

Mabel comes out of her hiding spot, wearing sunglasses, "Ta-da, surprise!!"

"MY EYES ARE ON FIRE!!!" Stan continues to roll around and scream in agony.

Noticing his reaction, Mabel shrinks in place, "Maybe we overdid it a little bit.."

"IT'S SO HOT, IT HURTS!!!"

-cut to Stan sitting on a chair, Dipper and Soos wrapping bandages around his eyes with Mabel on the side-

"Get those bandages good and tight, I'm not not giving my life savings to some quack doctor!!" Stan complains.

(y/n) speaks from behind the camera, "That quack doctor might be the only thing stopping you from going blind right now."

"And who's to blame for that?!"

Mabel turns to the camera, "That's it for today, join us next week where we'll be doing Mabel's Guide to Apologizing to your Great Uncle!"

Stan raises his arms in anger, "I hate color more than ever!!!"

An awkward laugh escapes Mabel's lips, "He's just saying that!" Her voice then lowers to a whisper, eyes wide in panic, "Cut, cut it!!"

-camera stops recording-

💫💫💫

Mabel's Guide To Art!

-camera's recording-

"Ah, art, it's all around us!!" Mabel begins, sitting at the end of the stairs, "From the big triangles of the desert, to the pens that go like.." she bring a pen into frame, moving it around, "Boop~! Broop~!"

-cut to an elephant panting-

"Even old Jumbo is getting in on the act!" Mabel voices over the clip, laughing, "Don't quit your day job, Jumbo! That's.. that'll really bad..."

-cut back to Mabel at the stairs-

"No one knows what art means or where it comes from, but one thing is for sure, I'm great at it!!" Mabel begins to show drawings she's made, "At age two I was naturally gifted, by age five I was a master of portrait, age seven was a time of free exploration, but everything changed when I saw this amazing caricature!!"

"Gimme that, gimme that!!" Dipper snatches the caricature away from Mabel instantly.

Mabel ignores him, "And what can be an even better, you ask? I give you.. the cat-icatures!!!"

CAT-ICATURES!!

She pulls out a drawing of a cat face wearing Dipper's hat, placing it beside Dipper, "Just compare this amazing likeness to Dipper!"

"That doesn't look anything like m-"

"You're right, it does look exactly like you!!" Mabel interrupts.

CAT-ICATURES!!

-cut to Mabel placing several cat-icatures on the table for Stan-

Stan stares at them for a while before speaking, "Uh, it's just the same crumby cat face with a different hat each time!"

"Exactly, and I sell them for ten dollars each!"

"... you need an agent? I am now your agent."

-cut to Mabel at Toby Determined's office-

Mabel shows the cat-icature forward before walking over to Toby, who takes the drawing.

"It looks exactly like me, right down to my actual cat whiskers that the doctors can't explain!" he hugs the drawing, "Meow meow meow!!"

Mabel takes a step back, "You're always weirder than I remember.."

-cut to Stan selling cat-icatures at a booth-

"Mabel, these cat-icatures are selling like hotcakes!" Stan yells as he takes everyone's money.

-cut to Mabel at her own booth-

"Cat-icatures are good, but I've moved on to the next level! Behold.." She picks up a cat with a human drawn on his belly, "Humanicaticatures!!"

HUMANICATICATURES!!

-cut to Stan's booth-

The customers stare at Mabel's booth for a while, then yell as they offer their money. Stan smiles, "Somebody get this girl more cats!!"

-cut to a very scratched up Mabel in the attic-

"That's it for Mabel's Guide to Art! Where we learned sometimes you have to suffer for your art," she glances around at all the rabid cats in the room, "Here, kitty! Here, kitty kitty!"

One of the cats leaps and clutches onto her face, making her fall back screaming, then laughing, "It actually kinda tickles!"

-camera stops recording-

Thanks for reading!!! 'Till next time!!!

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