When Natasha entered the bedroom, James was extremely clinging and refuse to be put on the floor. He laid his head on Natasha's shoulder and Natasha stroked his back.

N: I missed you too, James.

C: So?

Natasha turned to face Clint.

N: Enter and close the door.

Clint complied.

C: I was kind of just making a joke, but your reaction...

N: You should have disguised better, then!

C: Pardon, but me? Or it was because you got completely alarmed because Steve was with James? I think you should disguised that better. Are you losing your skills?

N: Clint, you can't tell anyone. Not even to Laura.

C: I don't understand. Do you know that Steve is Steve, right? Like, Steve Rogers, Captain America?

N: So what?

C: So what that even myself want him as a father. What are you doing, lying to him and James?

N: I didn't lie.

C: Oh okay, no... You just omitted the child's paternity. Do you know how much Steve likes children? He appears in the nursery and all the children get crazy and happy to see him, Steve takes them to the central square and they all stay quiet listening to the stories that he tells. Natasha, he needs to know.

Natasha took a deep breath as if she was losing her temper.

N: James doesn't have a father! He has a mother and it's me.

C: It's wrong, Tasha, sorry, but...

N: What? Are you going to tell him?

Clint made negative with his head.

C: I will not betray you, Tasha, but honestly... If you don't let James have a father like Steve, that will be the biggest crime you've ever committed.

Natasha didn't answer to that, she sighed and sat on the bed.

N: Can you stay five minutes with him? I'm just going to take a shower.

Clint nodded.

Natasha left James on the bed and went to the bathroom.

While Natasha was taking a shower, she thought about how she had acted badly with Steve, as if he was guilty of having impregnated her and she knows she can't blame him for that. They both wanted to have sex that night and If he had known about her pregnancy, he would never let her go away at all, but that's not the problem, if she had stayed, would he engaged with her, or with Sharon? Natasha doesn't have the answer to this questions and that makes her scared and angry at Steve. But she knows deep down that it's unfair to him, the way she has acted.

Natasha came out of the shower and wrapped herself in the towel, she left the bathroom and looked at Clint.

N: Thank you, you can go, now.

Clint didn't even look at Natasha, he got up and went to the door.

Before leaving, Natasha called him.

N: Clint?

Clint stopped at the door.

N: I... I'll tell him. I don't know how, nor when, but I will say. For James.

C: It's the right thing to do and you know it.

Clint left the room and Natasha got dressed. She looked at James and smiled.

N: Did you have fun these days?

James held out his arms to Natasha and she took him in her lap and hugged him tight.

N: Mom will not leave you anymore, James.

James reached for the door and moaned.

Natasha stared at the door.

N: Do you want to leave? Okay, let's go outside.

Natasha stood with James on her lap and left the room, she walked down the aisles and greeted some people she met on the way.

Natasha returned in the central square and Steve was still there, she sighed and dared to approach.

N: Steve?

S: Oh, hi. Hi James, you're back.

James held out his hand to Steve and Steve shook his little hand.

N: I heard you helped James to calm down while I wasn't here and I... I just wanted to say thank you.

S: No need, I like him a lot.

Natasha smiled.

N: And he likes you.

Steve smiled, then looked at Natasha and got his forehead frowned.

S: But I have a feeling that you don't want him with me.

Natasha made negative with her head.

N: No, It's just...

Natasha took a deep breath.

N: I've been with him alone for a year, he refused to go with anyone but me and Bucky and when he started to get close to you, I think I got jealous... It was nothing against you.

Steve nodded.

S: I understand, but you don't have to worry. James is obviously in love with you. No one will ever take your space as a mother. Want to see?

Steve stretched his arms out to James.

S: Come here, James.

James looked at Steve and to his arms, then James flinched and laid his head on Natasha's shoulder.

S: See? He's crazy about you.

Steve stroked James' head.

Natasha kissed James's forehead, longingly.

S: You're a great mother, Natasha.

N: You really think that?

S: Yes.

Natasha sighed, looking at Steve and nodded.

N: And you are... You will be a great dad too.

S: I hope so.

Natasha smiled.

N: You will be. I'm sure.

James stretched out his arms to Steve.

N: See? He agrees.

Steve grabbed James and lifted him in the air, James laughed and when Steve held him straight in his lap, James laid his head on Steve's shoulder. Steve stroked James' back and looked at Natasha, but Natasha had her mind elsewhere.

Natasha was watching James with Steve and the way he calms down near him. It has nothing to do with him being his father, James doesn't know that he is his father, so it can't be for that reason, he just likes Steve, but what Clint told me is hunting me now. Will I feel this guilty forever? Natasha was thinking, then she was taken away from her thoughts by Steve.

S: Nat? Nat?

N: Huh?

S: I think he's sleepy.

Natasha looked at James and he was yawning and his eyes heavy.

N: He is...

Natasha took James back and laid him on her lap and rocked him from side to side. James scratched his eye insistently, yawning again. James was annoyed by the itchiness in his eye and began to grumble.

S: Is he okay?

N: Yeah, yes... He's struggling with his sleep time. The noise of the children makes him want to stay awake, but I'll go back to my room, I'm tired too.

S: I'll accompany you.

Steve took James' toy from the floor and followed Natasha down the hallway to her room.

Steve also asked about Natasha's mission, but she only released information that wasn't confidential.

S: Next time, don't go alone. I know you got lucky this time, but it's very dangerous. You could have called me to go with you.

N: I'm faster alone and don't worry, I don't intend on leaving again. At least, not without James.

Steve handed the toy to Natasha and opened the door of her room for her to enter with James.

N: Can you wait a little? I'm just going to put him in bed... I want to talk to you.

S: Of course.

Natasha entered the room and put James on the bed, she covered him and stroked his hair. Steve was watching from the door.

Natasha walked over to Steve.

S: Is it my impression or does he seem to be getting blond?

Natasha looked at James and nodded.

N: His hair has cleared up yes, but I don't know if it will get to the point of getting blond.

S: I'm still not conformed.

N: With what?

S: You having him alone, and traveling out there by yourself. I know that you were with Bucky, but... I don't know, Sharon is always surrounded by women who have had children and she always seems to have doubts. She is always asking about baby's stuff to Laura and I don't know if you had any questions while you were pregnant.

N: I had them all, Steve. I still don't know how we survive. The biggest war wasn't that one that was happening in the world by Thanos, but it was in my relationship with James. It wasn't easy, I'm not gonna lie, he cried too much as a baby, he wanted to be nursed, I had no milk and I didn't have anything to feed him, I didn't know what I could give him or not. He didn't come with an instruction manual and it was very, very complicated at first.

Natasha smiled, but Steve was serious with the look of compassion that always comforts Natasha.

Steve can only imagine how hard it was for both of them.

N: We took time to... you know, to get along with each other but he's now the best thing that ever happened to me.

S: I know that. I can see in your eyes you love him.

Natasha stepped closer to the door and she bit her lower lip and closed her eyes tight.

N: Steve, may I ask you something?

S: Of course.

N: You remember when... In the Civil War... When we...

S: Yes, I remember.

Natasha opened her eyes and looked at Steve, she sighed.

N: Did you ever regret that?

S: Never... But I had someone, so it was wrong.

N: I'm sorry I invaded your room that night, I never wanted you to betray her.

S: I know that, don't worry. If you want to know, I've always been attracted to you, in many ways, there were times that I thought I was in love, like really, really in love but... Over time I saw that I was confused with our friendship, because I really like you and...

N: I like you too!

Steve didn't notice how suddenly Natasha replied to this, she just said what came into her mind at the time.

S: ...I've never felt so close to anyone how I feel about you. Even now, I still feel that way. I think you're like a sister to me in a certain way, I guess that's why I feel so attached to James.

Natasha frowned.

N: Would you have sex with your sister?

Natasha asked sharply, with her eyebrow raised.

S: No... I...

N: So don't call me that!

S: Nat, I... I didn't call you that, I said you're like a...

N: Steve don't! Don't say that! You wouldn't be attracted to your sister, so...

S: Okay. All right. Sorry.

Steve didn't understand Natasha's reaction, he frowned in confusion.

S: Nat?

N: I need to rest.

S: Okay.

Natasha closed the door in Steve's face and then she leaned against the door and sighed.

Natasha didn't realize that the sigh came with a tear in her face. She felt the tear roll and ran her hand over her face, she looked at her hand and hated herself for crying.

Natasha lay down next to James and stroked his hair.

Even after so long and I still feel everything I felt for him at that time. Why didn't I forget him after all this time? It was so easy with Bruce, after three months, I hardly thought of him. I thought that after those years I would forget Steve, but I didn't. He's still inside me, he still makes my heart ache. Coming back here was a lousy mistake. Natasha thought.

N: We should go back, James. Do you miss your Uncle Bucky?

Natasha kissed James's face and ran the tip of her nose against his cheek.

N: We were fine there with him, weren't we?

~ A few years ago ~

- We can do this right now, if you like, ma'am

Natasha stared at nothing, as if she was in a trance.

- The sooner the better, less risky for you. Ma'am?

Natasha looked at the attendant.

- I'd tell you to think more about it, you don't seem to be sure you want to do it or not, but you're three months old, you can't waste time. At four months you'd be taking a lot of risks.

N: No, I... I will do it. Can be today?

- Yes, it will cost three thousand dollars.

Natasha took the card from her wallet and the girl watched.

- We can't accept a card because we're not legalized, you know?

Natasha sighed and took the money in her wallet and handed it to the woman.

- Come with me.

The woman advised Natasha to take off her clothes and wear a hospital sweater, she asked Natasha to lie down and wait for the doctor to come and see her.

Natasha lay on the stretcher and the woman left the room.

Natasha stared at the ceiling and felt a strong nausea, she put her hand on her belly and sat on the stretcher, she thought she was going to vomit, but it was only false alarm.

Natasha lay down again and continued to stare at the ceiling. Ten minutes later the doctor came into the room and looked at her.

- Hi, sorry for the delay but we're full today, but it won't be long here.

Natasha just watched the doctor pick up an object connected to an electric cable.

N: What is this?

- That's what'll get you rid of this problem.

The doctor seemed to be cleaning the device, and Natasha's heart raced when the doctor said "getting rid of this problem".

The doctor turned the device on for testing, and Natasha sat down on the stretcher.

N: I need to use the bathroom.

- That door on the right. Is it your first time?

Natasha didn't answer the doctor, she ran into the bathroom and vomited as never before.

Natasha walked to the sink, she put her hands on the sink and slowly raised her head. Natasha looked at herself in the mirror and she was very pale.

Natasha washed her face and mouth, then left the bathroom.

- We need to start, I know it's scary, but I promise it won't hurt too much.

Natasha made negative with her head.

N: I need my clothes.

- Ma'am... Please, we don't make a refund in case of cancellation.

N: I just want my clothes.

Natasha opened the door to the ante-room and picked up her clothes, she dresses and left the clinic, not knowing where to go.

Natasha was only certain that she didn't want to be in that place anymore, she bought a ticket to London, and then she arranged an apartment to stay.

Natasha had to change her identity for Natalie Rushman, since Natasha Romanoff was wanted by the government, she also darkened her hair to help in disguise.

Natasha tried some jobs, but because she was pregnant, it was harder to get one and when she did, she was sick all the time, which always caused her to be sent away.

Natasha was sitting on the floor of her apartment, eating an entire ice cream pot, around the fifth month of her pregnancy. Natasha threw the pot aside and ran to the bathroom, she vomited again quite a bit.

Natasha looked at her belly and frowned.

N: I know! I regretted it, okay? Stop punishing me!

Natasha sighed and looked at the empty apartment. She has no condition of raising a child in such conditions, she would need to get money, to buy his things, clothes, a decent place and she had to do it now, while her belly is not very big.

Natasha took money from Natasha Romanoff account and immediately she had to fled again, because Interpol would chase her in London to send her back to the United States.

For months Natasha moved from one country to another, she only stopped running away in the seventh month of pregnancy when they announced the end of the Sokovia Accords, thanks to Steve Rogers' persistence in releasing the prisoners and making a deal about the Avengers actions in the world.

The population supported Steve's initiative and pardoned him for All the alleged crimes against the government.

Natasha's last location was in South Africa. She no longer needed to hide, so she returned to the natural color of her hair.

Natasha was at a market, buying fruit, when she had the feeling of being watched.

Natasha frowned and glanced over her shoulder, quickly, just to see who it was. She didn't see anyone.

After finishing shopping, she walked out of the market, carrying the bags and when she approached the bus stop, she suddenly turned and picked up her gun. Natasha was going to shoot, but she recognized who was following her around.

N: You?

Bucky: Hello, Natalia.