The snow was cold and soggy under Pepper's feet, and the air nipped at her like a very nasty, frosty Chihuahua, but the steam from the two mugs of hot chocolate she held warmed her. If there was one thing she was proud of, it was her ability to make a mean hot chocolate. Even better, because she was presently the only one to have it, she got to feel the flame of self-importance without much effort at all. That was new.

A familiar pair of arms wrapped around Pepper; with a sharp clink, she felt a familiar weight against her back. Salt groaned quietly, "Pepperrrrrr..."

"Salty-Salt," Pepper answered fondly. She tried to orient herself so she could see Salt, but with Salt's face buried in her back, that wasn't a go.

"'M so cold," Salt muttered. "Need you."

"I got your back, girlfriend," Pepper told her, and bumped one of her mugs against Salt's side.

Salt nuzzled her side a bit before finally looking at Pepper's offering. In a hurry, Salt grabbed the mug (pink, Salt's favorite) and sipped from it. She sighed appreciatively. "You know I love your hot chocolate, Pep..."

For a moment, Pepper savored the moment. It was just her and her favorite girl in the world, a beacon of warmth in a cold world. She genuinely could've stayed there all day, and then some.

T'was a shame that she wasn't so lucky.

"Canoodling is strictly forbidden in my show!" In a snap, the mood was ruined. MePhone 4S as he stepped in front of them. "Meet me by the big snowman at the lake for your next challenge! That's an order!"

Pepper sighed. The fact that she had to spend today listening to 4S and not her favorite snow angel had to be a hate crime. The new host was so hard to listen to, and it seemed like he never had anything nice to say. Some people might say the same things about Salt, but at least Salt had style.

"So annoying," Salt muttered, and began trudging over. Pepper, as always, followed.

***

Salt and Pepper weren't the only ones at the meeting point. In fact, they arrived less than two minutes before 4S threw the last contestant, Apple, into the snow. "When I tell you to get over here, you get over here! NO QUESTIONS!" he barked.

"B-but-"

"SHUT UP! Okay... first things first. It's time for the elimination! Pickle is eliminated because he sucks."

"What?!"

"Is that even how the viewers voted?" Balloon frowned. "You can't eliminate someone just because you don't like them."

"Then I'll eliminate him because every single viewer wants him gone! Because he SUCKS! He got 400 votes, so he says 'hasta la vista.'"

"I demand proof," Pickle shouted, before being launched into the stratosphere by the fist-thingy. It looked painful; 4S had augmented it with spikes, after all.

"Before the next challenge, I need to explain something new I am adding to this game. Starting now, all of you guys have three lives. If you die in the contest, you'll lose a life and be disqualified from the current challenge. But if you win a challenge, you will be awarded with one life. If you lose all three of your lives, you will be terminated from this competition, permanently. Got it?"

"Actually, I had a question about-" Paintbrush began to ask, but 4S rudely interrupted them.

"Bah, I can't stand questions! Besides, we have much more urgent matters on our hands, because Santa Claus is coming to town!"

Apple gasped. "Santa?!"

4S took Salt's hot chocolate, and took a loud sip. Pepper never felt hatred like she did in the moment that he wiped his mouth with his wrist.

"Yes, but I have bad news: Santa Claus has gone mad! It has nothing to do with anything I did, but he's on his way to kill everyone right now! So you can win this challenge in two ways! One is to stop Santa! The other is to outlive everyone else in Santa's murderous rampage before I take matters into my own hands." 4S pulled out his gun and cocked it. "Godspeed; you'll need it!"

As 4S charged away, the contestants stood around in stunned silence for a second.

"So what are you guys asking Santa for?" Apple asked nobody in particular. "I want a pony!"

"Did you hear a word he just said?" Baseball cut in with a frown. "We could be in danger!"

Pepper tuned the others out as she handed her purple mug to Salt. "Here, Salty-salt. This doesn't suck like the new host does."

Salt's expression lit up. "Aww, Pepper...! You're right, he does suck."

Pepper rolled her eyes, getting ready to concur, but something in the distance caught her eye: a red dot, growing nearer by the second.

"Oh my God, Salt, he's coming. What should we do?" A split-second later, she heard the snow fall on the ground with a thwump. Salt lay face-down in the snow, burying her cap so she blended in. 'Snow angels? OMG. She is such a genius.' Pepper did her best to emulate Salt. If it worked for her, it should work for Pepper too, right?

The sound of jingle-bells got ever louder, and Pepper could hear the sleigh drag through the snow. A crusty old man bellowed the most sinister "Ho Ho Ho" she had ever heard.

She better watch out...

Santa zoomed right past her, and suddenly she heard "umguh!" and the sound of shattering glass. So much for that bright light.

She could hear the sound of Santa's boots plodding through the snow, hardly thirty feet away.

"Santa, oh my gosh, it's you! So, uh- can I get a pony this year? AH-"

Pepper rolled over just enough to see Apple fall to the ground, a candy-cane the circumference of a coffee mug sticking out of her chest.

"That's not very nice..." Apple gasped, then seized up.

Pepper's heart pounded when Santa began plodding in her and Salt's direction. He didn't have the gentle face that she remembered; his face was ruddy with rage.

'How am I gonna save Salt?'

Worse yet, Salt was shivering. Pepper tried to grab her hand to warm it up, but then she felt overwhelming pressure at her back, and then a sickening crack. "OH MY GOD!" she yelled. "Run, Salty-Salt!"

***

Pepper's eyes fluttered open later. The snow was frigid beneath her, but it was almost welcome, with the way her head throbbed.

"Get up!" 4S barked, and Pepper ignored him. "The winner of the challenge was Baseball, who successfully outlived everyone and neutralized the Santa threat."

Pepper's eyes darted over to Baseball; he kicked at the snow self-consciously. "Cool, can we talk about something else?"

"He did this by being literally too fat to get impaled and then rolling over him with his fatness," 4S went on, and hid his mouth behind his mouth to laugh. He cleared his throat, "I never laugh, but you must admit, that's hilarious."

Salt chuckled; when Pepper noticed her sitting at her side, her heart warmed right up as she sat up as well, just barely resisting the urge to hug her.

"For your hugely effective win, you win a life. Everyone died in this challenge except for Baseball, so he has twice the lives as anyone else! How does that make you feel, round one?"

"Fantastic," Baseball mumbled.

"Anyway, as your new Christmas present, nobody will be going home. You will all have to endure the blizzard in hardship." He adjusted his glasses. "But the heater at the contestant quarters has been fixed. Rest up for the next challenge; you're going to need it."

4S turned to walk away, but Balloon squeaked, "Hold on! What happened to Santa?"

The phone stopped in his tracks. He sighed, facing them once again.

"...We won't have a Christmas as you know it for- quite some time." He punctuated the sentence with a sharp pause, as he stuck a candy-cane in his mouth like it was a cigarette. "But I will talk to the appropriate people to make sure Christmas changes in a pleasing manner."

4S stalked away to who knew where.

Pepper hazarded a glance at Apple and Lightbulb. Apple blinked uncomprehendingly, but Lightbulb slung an arm on top of her and grinned before the news could sink in. "We should go decorate the contestant grounds."

"Uh- y-yeah."

Apple didn't seem all there as Lightbulb pulled her away by the hand. Balloon, the original asker, shuddered; he seemed unsatisfied with the answer, but Salt didn't seem to care, so Pepper didn't, either. 'As long as 4S actually makes it better, it's fine. Maybe it'll be a pink and purple holiday instead.'

Pepper was not, however, oblivious to the strange look Paintbrush flashed at 4S, then at Lightbulb. Oh, this meant war.