chapter five
minho

Despite having a less-than-stellar experience in the past, the family were eager to relocate to Paraguay after their time in Forks had run out. I understood what they liked about the place, especially in contrast to Forks — sunny and secluded, there was no one to pretend for, nothing to hide from.

They managed to find a fairly spacious house, two storeys tall, backed against a hill, surrounded by farmland and forest. It came with a barn that Jeongin, Hyunjin and Seungmin remodelled into their own little manor, sequestered from the rest of the property.

Now, as we approach the farmhouse, Hyunjin appears on the balcony, leaps to the ground and bolts toward us.

"You're here!" He grabs us both in one fell swoop and hugs us tightly. "I missed you so much!"

"You saw us a week ago," Jisung laughs.

"Exactly! It's been so long. C'mon, we've been waiting for you!"

We follow him to the house, drop our bags inside and leave our shoes on the rack. Seungmin, Jeongin, Haseong, Changbin and Chan come into the room and dole out hugs. I squeeze Seungmin extra tight.

"Chan, you okay?" Jisung asks suddenly.

He's tense, absent, I can tell from a glance. Plus, if Jisung has to ask what's wrong, it means Chan is purposefully blocking him out.

"It's fine," he says, smiling a tight smile. "Just seasonal worries. Don't fret over me."

Then Felix comes in. He has the same look on his face. Now I know — something has happened.

"Bro!" He throws his arms around me. "Christ on a bike, it's been forever and a day! I wanna show you the falls, it's spectacular this time of year."

"That'd be great," I say.

He moves on to Jisung and gives him an aggressive hug-noogie combo. Chan's eyes are heavy, watching the two of them. He looks down, turns and heads into the kitchen. Haseong watches him go.

I unzip my bag, take out the tattered copy of Emma by Jane Austen and walk into the kitchen. Chan is sitting at the table, staring out the back doors. I take a seat next to him and set the book on the table.

He looks down at it, up at my face. "You finished it?"

"More or less."

"Did you like it?"

"It didn't really hold my attention. That's probably my own fault. But thank you for lending it to me. It's pretty cool Jane Austen signed it."

"It is, isn't it? She was actually quite nice. She asked me what I was doing in Chawton; I told her that adventure did not befall me in my own village so I had to seek it out abroad. I suppose the sentiment stuck with her..." He sighs and looks at me. "Sorry, I'm rambling."

I scoot my chair closer to his. "No, I wanna hear more."

He smiles but it's still heavy. He puts his arm around me, pulls me into his side — I slump down a little so I can put my head on his shoulder.

───

Chan tells me stories for a while, anecdotes from his three centuries on earth. The people he's met, the places he's been, the things he's witnessed. Sometimes I have to cut in and ask if he's being serious, and every time he looks back at me and replies with a genuine 'why wouldn't I be?'

The sun is bright outside, and for the first time in a long time, I'm somewhere I can go out and enjoy it. Chan seems excited when I suggest taking a walk. He plucks Haseong out of the other room and the three of us head out into the field behind the house.

Over the hill, cupped by the forest edge, is a pasture speckled with grazing cows.

"Holy shit," I say, "when did you get cows?"

"A couple months back. Some of the people in town were hoping for milk, so we decided to give it a try."

"You're not gonna kill them for meat, are you?"

"Maybe," Haseong says.

"Lord no," Chan gasps.

Then I realize Haseong has a pail and a tiny stool in his hands. I know where this is going.

"I'm not gonna milk any cows."

"Immediately says no to everything," Haseong mutters to Chan, "he's just like Jisung."

"I'm what?"

So I try to milk a cow. I quickly decide it's not for me. I stand by, pondering what brought me to this particular pocket in time and space, while Haseong takes my place.

"Is mother nature really so repulsive?" Chan asks.

"Udderly," I say.

Instead I scritch the cow behind the ear, looking into her goopy eyes. She's like a massive, black-white Kokoa who won't randomly try to scratch my face off.

"Minho!" Felix walks over the hill with Seungmin at his side. "Fancy some sightseeing?"

I look back at Haseong and Chan. I can't think of this as a goodbye, it'd just make me desperate to stay. I hug Haseong from behind and then move on to Chan.

"See you guys later," I say.

I loosen my arms, but Chan keeps me tight against him.

"Promise," he whispers.

Haseong doesn't turn, but I hear his eyes narrow.

"I'll just be at the waterfall," I say over a hitch. "Felix said it's beautiful this time of year."

Chan lets me go, looks down and doesn't look up again until I'm walking away.

Seungmin, Felix and I run eastward into the forest. We don't speak for a while, till we're far from the house, miles away from any humans or vampires.

"We're not going now, are we?" Seungmin asks. "I haven't prepared anything."

"No," Felix replies. "This is where we supposedly decide to pay a visit to the Bermuda Triangle."

"Why the Bermuda Triangle?" I ask.

"Why not? It's weird enough that we'd want to see it with our own eyes, far enough to cover us time-wise, and no one'll wanna tag along since it's kinda stupid."

"Hyunjin might wanna come," Seungmin says. "What am I supposed to tell him?"

"Say the boat only fits three."

"There's a boat?"

"It's our ride to Italy."

"Why aren't we just running?"

"Good lord, can we skip the call-and-response Q&A?"

"Felix, cut it out, we need answers. For example, what happened with Chan last night?"

Felix sighs and rubs his eyes. "Chan spoke to someone he shouldn't have — he knows things now."

"Who did he speak to? Why do they know what we're doing?"

"Unfortunately, that's redacted to the two of you."

"Are you kidding me?"

"Just trust me, don't worry about it."

Seungmin is about to hound him for an answer, but I cut him off. "So Chan knows, but the rest still don't."

"Changbin knows as well. They've both agreed not to tell anyone."

"Really? Why would Chan do that?"

Felix is staring straight forward, one foot in front of the other. "At some point, he has to let us go. I told him that I wasn't his to protect anymore, that he had to respect me, and he... accepted that."

"Felix—"

"It's fine. I... really love him. For caring. And Changbin... it's complicated. He's pissed the fuck off at me. Hopefully he can forgive me for all this bullshit."

Seungmin and I exchange looks.

Felix clicks his jaw in and out. "The falls are coming up. Look in awe, boys."

I hear the sound of water thundering beyond the trees. Ridges of moss-covered rock, clouds of fizzing mist — Iguazu Falls opens up like a beautiful, alien world, plunges into a canyon and culminates in a river running north. The three of us stop at the edge and look down into the water.

Felix's voice is low and grave. "Y'all ever wondered what happened to those ships in Bermuda?"

I swallow. "Never once."

"This is happening," Seungmin murmurs. "Is this really happening?"

Felix palms both of our faces. "Hey, masks on. We're having fun. Right?"

I try to smile but it feels wrong on my lips.

seungmin

I take a deep breath and push the barn doors open. Jeongin is lolling around on the bed, staring at his phone, and I hear Hyunjin scouring the hayloft above. I grab a bag from the armoire and stuff it with whatever my hands touch first.

"Seungmin!" Hyunjin jumps to the floor, holding out two VHS tapes. "It's movie night — I was thinking Something's Gotta Give, but Minho said he already saw it. What do you think, Father of the Bride or Parent Trap?"

"Ah the illusion of choice," Jeongin sighs from the bed.

"Um," I say, "I don't know if tonight's gonna be a good night to watch a movie."

"But it's been eight months since I got to choose!" Hyunjin hugs the VHSes to his chest. "This always happens to Nancy and me."

Jeongin sits up, narrowing his eyes at me. "You going somewhere?"

"Oh yeah. Minho, Felix and I are going to the Bermuda Triangle."

"Ooh, sounds fun," says Hyunjin. "Can I come?"

"Sorry, cookie, I think the boat's gonna be pretty tight."

"You already have a boat?"

"Yeah, a rowboat or canoe or something. Felix said it's docked somewhere on the north coast, we're heading up there now."

"Why are you doing this?" Jeongin asks. "The Triangle is just a magnetically unpredictable range of ocean mythologized by conspiracy theories."

"Er, of course it is. I mean... I dunno, Minho is having a hard time right now, and Felix is fighting with Changbin. I guess I just want to make sure they both make it back intact."

"Might be a good idea," says Hyunjin. "Emotional Minho and emotional Felix aren't a good mix."

"We can all watch a movie once you guys are back," Jeongin says. Hyunjin claps his hands.

"Yeah... maybe." I clear my throat, standing from a crouch. "I guess we'll be heading out soon."

Jeongin comes over to peck me on the lips. "See you, sweetie. Remember your flare gun and be careful of the gulf stream—"

I grab his face and kiss him again. I let myself think back to the night sky in Newcastle Upon Tyne, the first time feeling his hands in my hair, kissing him as if it was my last chance. This time it might be.

I pull away — he's blinking, disoriented. I get up on my tiptoes to kiss Hyunjin. He melts into me like he always does. I pull them both into a hug and murmur an I love you.

I leave the barn without looking back.

minho

Jisung is kneeling in the field, dirty and sleeveless with his hair tied back into a little ponytail. I watch him for a while. Seeing him here makes me wonder if he would like living somewhere more rural, more sunny. I imagine giving him a taste of his own medicine — surprising him with a farmhouse, an oasis surrounded by acres of room for his flowers to grow.

I shouldn't be thinking about that. I shouldn't be planning for the future.

I take a deep breath.

"Jisungie!" I race up and wrap my arms around him from behind. "Guess what Felix, Seungmin and I are gonna do!"

He laughs and keeps troweling at the dirt. "Oh no, what is it?"

"We're gonna sail out to the Bermuda Triangle to see the shipwrecks."

"Oh? You seem very... excited about it. Don't you get nervous on boats?"

"C'mon, it'll be fun. You, er, you can come with us if you want."

"No, thank you, love. I'm more than fine here."

I don't know what to say next. I feel like he can hear me breathing too loudly. "Yeah, okay. We'll be back soon, you know, whenever, I don't know exactly. I'll... miss you, Jisungie."

"'Course, my love, have fun." He smiles but doesn't look up. I wait for a second. Kiss his shoulder and the nape of his neck. Stand up. Walk away. Turn to look back at him. Keep walking. Oh my god. Did I just say goodbye?

changbin

I'm sitting in the nook between the couch and the wall. Stewing. There's no place to go where my family will stay out of my way. Everybody's pissing me off. They all know too much, too little, only as much as Felix has allowed, like he's some kind of zealot leading an army into war. It's only a damn war because that's what he's made it.

Minho barges into the house, head in his hands, and passes without noticing me. He rifles through his bag, zips it up and throws it over his shoulder.

I get up off the floor. His face falls into a smiling mask as he sees me.

"Hey, Bin, did Felix tell you? We're going—"

"Minho, don't lie to me. Don't lie like Felix is. You can still decide not to go, it's not too late — you... you can stay with us."

"I... don't know what you're talking about. We won't be gone long."

He's conflicted. He's hurting. I feel the emotion emanate from him. His hand is to his neck, absently toying with the fang-shaped scars. Sometimes it's hard to believe I've known him for sixteen years. It's hard to believe he would throw all those years away.

"You're gonna make me do this?" I say.

"Do what?"

I cross the room and wrap my arms around him. He stalls for a moment, then drops his bag and hugs me back.

"Don't go," I whisper.

He sniffles, trying to stifle it. "It's not too bad. It might take a while, but... it's not a death sentence. I have to do this. Tell the family the same if we..." His teeth grit together. "And please... tell Jisung I'm sorry."

Everything I have to say is jumbled behind locked lips.

Minho breaks away as he realizes Felix is watching from the top of the staircase. Felix's face is impassive but I feel the emotion rolling off him. The room is an echo chamber, anxiety, sorrow, frustration, all ricocheting among us.

Minho grabs his bag and leaves the room, leaves us alone. Felix walks the rest of the stairs, about to follow him, but I take his arm. He waits for me to speak but the words won't come.

"Well?" he says.

My hand falls down his arm. "Take care of yourself."

"That's it?"

"The hell do you want me to say? Go away, stay here, fuck off, I'll be waiting for you?"

"Well... will you be waiting for me?"

I roll my eyes. "Oh fuck off."

But I zip up his jacket and shove him toward the door.

"Come back. Please. For me." I'll kill him twice over if he doesn't.