Houston, Texas, in the Clarke Home, on Saturday, September 14th, 2030 at 2:30 pm

Rachel

I wake up to the sound of the car pulling into our driveway. The sun is still shining high in the sky and I can hear the neighborhood kids playing basketball down the street. I can't believe I slept the entire way home.

I also can't believe that Lucas kissed me. The last time he kissed me was over eight months ago. I feel a warm hand on my arm, and turn to see Lucas watching me.

"Wake up, sleepy head," he teases. "You got dirt all over the door," I look down and see brown and amber smears where my head was resting.

"Oh no," I say horrified. "It's from my hair. I need to go and take a shower right now!" I squeal as I remember how dirty I am. It makes me squirm in my skin. Lucas laughs at me and takes his hand away.

"Let's head inside, then," he hops out of the car and starts walking towards our home. The deep blue color is even more beautiful in the sunlight.

I grab the muddy sweatshirt out of the car and grimace at all of the mess I have to clean up later. I close the door and turn to follow Lucas. He unlocks the door and is about to go inside when I notice the dirty amber footprints leading up the steps to the front door.

"Wait!" I call out to him. "Please leave your shoes on the porch!" he turns around and jokingly rolls his eyes at me. He takes off his shoes and sets them down by the steps. "Thank you!" I say as I remove my own muddy shoes.

As we get inside I can feel some of my anxiety over how dirty I am fade away. I breathe in the scent of apples and cinnamon and glance around our clean home. I have five siblings, so our home growing up was always very messy. It was never dirty, but it was unorganized and cluttered. My parents didn't have much money when I was a kid, so I always feel so fortunate when I walk into our home.

"I'll let you go first," Lucas' deep voice pulls me out of my memory. I start to imagine him taking a shower, but quickly stop myself.

"Okay, I'll try to be speedy," I reply awkwardly as I jump up onto the landing at the bottom of the stairs.

"I think you need to spend a while there," Lucas calls out as he waves his hand in front of his nose. I gasp and slap his arm playfully.

"I don't stink, I'm just dirty!" Lucas laughs at me as he dramatically rubs his arm. "Besides, I'm only this disgusting because you shoved me into a gross pit full of wet dirt and clay," I say pointedly at him. He laughs even harder as he starts to guide me upstairs. His hand on my back sends a shiver down my spine. My mind begins to drift as I think about how his hands would feel against my skin.

"Hey, I had to. I saved your life," he runs up the stairs past me as if we are racing and heads down the hall towards the guest room. My heart sinks a little; I don't want him sleeping in another room, but I also haven't asked him to come back to our bed. I have to tell him what I want.

I pop into our bathroom, comforted by the beautiful emerald color on the walls. I turn and finally look at myself in the mirror. My hair is bunched up on my right side from how I was sleeping in the car. It's full of matts that are clumped with dirt and little rocks. I have smears of clay across my entire face.

"Oh my god!" I shout. I hear Lucas running down the hallway.

"What is it?" he asks, worried. He comes into the bathroom quickly and looks in the mirror with me. "Oh, come on. It's not that bad," he says as he pats the poofy part of my hair. Some rocks and dirt fall out onto the counter.

"I look like the barbie doll that Sophie left outside in the rain in third grade," Lucas lets out a loud belly laugh as he tries to wipe up the mess on the counter.

"I think you're beautiful no matter what," he says as he kisses my forehead. "Now hurry up, I need to shower too," he smiles at me and heads back down the hall.

#

My skin burns just the right amount under the heat of the shower water. There's dirt everywhere. Behind my ears, inside my ears, in my nose, under my fingernails, and in between my breasts. I begin to think about the kiss that Lucas and I shared after the competition. It was quick but sweet, and I didn't want it to end.

My excitement quickly turns into anxiety as I remember that Lucas and I still need to finish our conversation. He told me that he only knows that I was with somebody but doesn't know who it was or anything that happened. Does he want to know everything that happened? Is he going to ask me about who it was?

I turn off the shower and step out. I dry myself off with a fluffy white towel and brush out my hair. I notice the welts that have formed on my right arm from being shot with paintballs. They're round with a dark purple center and a ring of lighter purple and red that radiates away from the impact. They don't hurt as much anymore, they just feel sore like you slept on your arm wrong.

I decided to reapply my mascara since it's still the middle of the day. I also want to look nice for Lucas. If he wants to kiss me again then I need to make sure that my makeup looks good. I throw on a pair of high waisted dark skinny jeans and a light pink cropped tank top. I grab my pile of muddy clothes and head out of the bedroom downstairs.

After about ten minutes I hear the water turn off and some thumping from upstairs. Lucas comes down in a light gray t-shirt and blue jeans. His hair is still damp and sticks to the sides of his forehead. He smiles at me as he sits down on the couch about a foot away.

"What are you doing?" he asks me as he glances at the binder in my lap.

"Oh, nothing really. I was just making sure that I'm ready for the week," I say timidly as I close it and set it back on the coffee table.

"It's Saturday but you're ready for the whole week?" he smiles at me admirably. I can see welts on his arms, but he has at least five. He needs to be more careful next time we play.

"Well, I plan for the following week during my planning period each day," I explain. Lucas just smiles at me adoringly. He looks away from me for a moment and his smile begins to fade.

"We need to finish our conversation from earlier," he meets my eyes and places his left hand on my knee. "I need to know, Rachel," he rests his elbow on the back of the couch and places his arm behind me. "What happened at the conference?" I swallow hard and look down at my hands. They're already starting to sweat.

"Can you ask me more specific questions, please?" I say softly, hoping I don't upset him. "I just don't know where to start, I guess," he blinks a few times before asking me another question.

"Are you still seeing him?" he finally blurts out. His expression is pained, like he's been thinking about this nonstop.

"No, of course not," I say as genuinely as I can. "It only lasted a week," I offer up this detail to try and reassure him more. He sighs heavily and closes his eyes. His face seems relieved.

"Okay. When did it start?" his voice is a little calmer now.

"The first night of the conference in June," I answer, feeling almost embarrassed. This is not a feeling I've had before when talking about this, but maybe it's because I'm looking at Lucas when these words come out of my mouth now. He nods slowly and rubs his forehead.

"Did you have sex with him?" his voice is almost a whisper when he asks me this. I gulp, and my heart starts to race.

"Yes," I'm barely able to get that one word out. Lucas closes his eyes again and rests his chin on his hand. His other hand is still on my knee. "Just once," I add quietly. It's true, we only slept together one time. Lucas opens his eyes and looks at me. His expression is serious.

"Why?" I can barely hear him. His eyes start to water. "Why were you with him?" he sounds like he's in so much pain. I have no idea how long he's known about this. I pause for a moment before I answer him.

"I was so lonely, Lucas," I can feel my eyes starting to burn. "I thought that you left me for good," I manage to choke out.

Tears begin to fall down Lucas' cheeks. He looks away from me and wipes his face.

"He gave me attention that I hadn't had in a very long time," I continue. I know that giving Lucas specifics like this is going to hurt him, but I need him to understand why I did it. Lucas swallows hard and looks back at me.

"He made me feel wanted and special, so I gave into his romantic gestures for a week," Lucas starts to cry harder.

He takes his hand off of my knee and wipes his face again. He covers his mouth with his hand and glances into the kitchen. His cheeks are shiny from his tears. He's bouncing his leg up and down as he thinks about what to say. After a long silence, Lucas turns his attention back to me.

"Who was it?" he asks bluntly. I hesitate as I search his face. I can't quite tell what is going on in his head right now. Is he asking me angrily? Or just out of curiosity?

"I, umm.." I start to speak but can't quite say his name. "It's nobody you know and he doesn't live near us," Lucas is unsatisfied with my answer. He moves a little closer to me and sits up straight.

"What's his name, Rachel?" he asks me again as he places his right hand on my shoulder. I don't want to tell him.

"What would knowing that help, Lucas?" I plead with my eyes for him to stop asking me. "I'm never going to see him again," I add, trying to reassure him enough so that he moves on.

"Why won't you tell me who it is?" he says as he shakes his head.

"I don't want you to do something stupid, Lucas!" I raise my voice at him and lean back slightly. I think back to when he showed up at the house party and threw Nathan into the hallway. "You don't think before you act sometimes and then you make a stupid decision," I explain. He furrows his brow at me.

"I'm the one who doesn't think before they act?" his voice gets louder. "You decided to sleep with a guy that you just met at a conference in another state and you won't tell me who he is!" he's shouting at me now, and his wet hair swishes around as he shakes his head. I get up from the couch and step back from him.

"You left me for eight months without saying goodbye after I told you that I wanted to start a family with you, Lucas!" I shout back. Tears start to form in the corners of my eyes. His expression quickly changes from anger and back to pain as he rubs his eyes with his fingertips.

"What was I supposed to think? What did you expect me to do? Wait and see if you still want me when you come back?" I'm crying now. I tried to hold it back but I can't anymore. Lucas gets up from the couch and walks over to me. He rubs my arms gently with his hands, avoiding the welts on my arm.

"No, I didn't expect you to wait," he whispers. I look at his face and see that he's still crying. His brown eyes are glossy and I don't think I've ever seen him look so sad.

"I know that I pushed you away when I left. I just hoped and prayed while I was up there that you still would," I can feel tears start to drip onto my chest from my chin. He slides his hands down my arms slowly. "I'm so mad at you, Rachel," his voice is a little louder now, but he doesn't sound angry.

"But I'm even more mad at myself for pushing you into the arms of another man," his voice breaks as grabs my hands. "The thought of you with somebody else kills me," he swallows hard and looks at me with such intensity that I catch my breath.

"The thought of somebody else's hands and lips on you makes me sick to my stomach," he slides his hands onto my waist. His deep voice combined with the way that he's looking at me right now makes my stomach turn. His hands are rough on my skin as he slowly pulls me towards him.

"I have one more question for you," his voice is quiet again. I nod and wait for him to speak. "Why did it only last a week?" his eyes are pleading with me to reassure him that he's the only man I want. I need to be vulnerable with him right now.

"Being with him for that week made me realize how I really feel about you," I whisper as I place my hand on his chest. He blinks quickly and waits for me to continue. "You were all I could think about. No matter what I did I just couldn't stop comparing everything to being with you," I start to cry again when I see new tears forming in Lucas' eyes. He tightens his grip on my waist and swallows.

"I decided that I would rather be alone than be with anyone else," I whisper. "I love you, Lucas," he wraps his arms around my back and pulls me into his strong chest.

"You have no idea how much I needed to hear you say that," he whispers against the top of my head. He pulls back from me slightly and places his right hand on my face. "I love you too, Rachel," he rubs my cheek with his thumb gently. "You are the only woman that I want to be with. And, if you don't trust me enough to tell me his name yet, then that's okay. I'll wait," I close my eyes and look down.

"I don't deserve for you to be so understanding," I say as I start sobbing. "I'm so sorry that I hurt you. I just..." I start to explain further but Lucas cuts me off.

"Hey, it's okay," he says gently as he wipes my face. "As long as it's over, and you're mine now?" he looks at me, his eyes desperate.

"I'm all yours, Lucas," I say as I lean into his hand. He moves his hand down to my neck, his thumb resting on my jaw.

He leans down and kisses me so passionately that I almost fall over. His lips are warm and wet against mine. I lean into him as he parts my lips with his tongue, wrapping my arm around his neck. He pulls me closer to him with the arm he has around my waist. His chest is firm against me. He pulls away from me and gently kisses the skin around my lips.

His lips move down to my jaw before placing a deep, slow kiss to my neck below my ear. I exhale against his cheek. His touch makes me melt into his arms. He brings his face back up to mine and kisses me firmly on the lips.

"I missed you so much," is all I manage to get out in a whisper. I wrap my other arm around his neck and give him a hug.

"I missed you more," he kisses the side of my head before burying his face into my neck. We hold each other for a few minutes in silence before I feel my stomach start to rumble. Lucas laughs, his chest bouncing against me. "Let's order something to eat and sit down. I'm sore," Lucas smiles before placing a final, sweet kiss to my lips.