Houston, Texas in the Clarke Home, Saturday, November 20th, 2029 at 6:00 pm

Rachel

The timer on the oven went off. I set down my laptop and headed into the kitchen. I was making lasagna; Lucas' favorite. He had been working a ton lately, and we hadn't had any time together. He's always so busy, but lately it felt like he'd been avoiding me. Ever since we talked about starting a family a few weeks ago, he came home each night well after I've gone to bed. He promised me he would be home for dinner tonight.

I took the lasagna out of the oven and set it on the stovetop. I curled back up on the couch with my laptop and continued lesson planning. This week we were diving into quadratics, which is one of my favorite lessons to teach. It was a foundational concept for their later math courses, so we spent a lot of time in this unit.

I became so invested in my prep that I lost track of the time. I glanced up at the clock and realized that it had been over an hour. I couldn't believe him. He promised me he would come home tonight. I knew that something was going on but he wouldn't talk to me.

I decided that tonight I was going to stay up until he came home. I didn't have work the next day, and we needed to talk about this. I curled back up on the couch and turned on the TV.

Watching some reality shows should cheer me up and keep me awake.

Before I knew it, I dozed off while snuggled up under a blanket.

#

I woke up to the sound of the front door unlocking. I glanced at my phone and saw that it was almost midnight. Lucas came in through the door very cautiously, not realizing I was awake in the living room. When he turned and saw me sitting there he dropped his briefcase.

"Oh my god, Rachel, you scared me," he chuckled slightly, as if nothing was wrong. He looked incredibly handsome with his dark hair that fell across his forehead.

I almost forgot that I was angry with him. I crossed my arms and just glared at him. His smile faded into a frown and he swallowed, rubbing the back of his head.

"Look, Rach, I'm sorry I'm home so late. I know I said that I would be home for dinner. We just had a breakthrough on this project and I needed to stay and-" I cut him off before he could continue.

"You promised me," I said quietly. "You've been coming home in the middle of the night for weeks, Lucas. Ever since we talked about starting a family I feel like you've been avoiding me." His jaw dropped at my words.

"That's not true," he replied quickly. "I have just been busy with work." His feet remained firmly planted in the entryway as he raised a hand up to brush his hair out of his face. Even though I was mad at him, I wanted to run over to Lucas and kiss him, but it had been weeks.

"You're always busy with work, Lucas!" I shouted at him as I stood up from the couch. "I have a full time job that requires me to bring my work home as well but I still make time for you." I started to walk towards him, and his shoulders dropped slightly as he looked away from me.

"Why don't you come home anymore? I never see you and you won't talk to me," my voice breaks slightly as I speak. He began tapping his fingers on the end table by the front door. The sound of the keys in the bowl jingling filled the room. I waited for him to say something, but he just stood there, tapping.

"Lucas," I said sternly. "Do you not want a family with me?" He looked at me, and his eyes softened.

"Of course I want a family with you Rachel," he sighed. "I just don't want one right now."

My heart sank. It felt like a weight had been dropped on my chest.

"Why?" I said as loud as I could as I fought to hold back tears. Lucas started tapping on the table again. I couldn't take it. "Lucas, talk to me!" I shouted at him as I took a few steps forward.

"I can't do this right now," he said this so quietly that I could barely hear him.

"What?" I asked, trying to get him to reiterate. He waved his hand at me and began matching my steps backwards.

"I can't do this with you right now, Rachel," he said louder as he swung the front door open.

"You can't do what?" I replied curtly. "You can't stand here in front of me and have a serious conversation about how you feel about something?" my tone was harsh, but he was being unreasonable.

"We can discuss this another time," Lucas snapped as he picked up his briefcase

"No!" I yelled at him as he started to walk out the door. "We cannot wait to have this conversation because you're never here, Lucas," I pointed at him angrily. "Even when you're at home you're still not really here."

"That doesn't make any sense. If I'm at home then I am here," Lucas replied plainly, his voice getting louder. There was a cool breeze that came in through the open door that caused me to shiver.

"You don't talk to me, you don't look at me. I can't even remember the last time you touched me," I yelled at him through tears. "You act like I'm a stranger, Lucas. When you started this job, you would come home from work and pick me up and kiss me. You would tell me all about your day and how much you missed me while you were gone," I started sobbing, and I could see tears well up in Lucas' eyes as well.

He said nothing to me, and I could feel my blood boiling.

"Lucas, please just talk to me!" I shouted at him. He started to shake his head and looked away from me.

He bumped the end table as he stepped back, knocking the bowl of keys off. The crashing sound felt ten times louder than it really was, like a building pummeling into the ground. It was the final feather landing on a broken bridge, taking us down with it.

"I need some space, Rachel. You're pushing too much," he set his briefcase back down and shook his head.

"Lucas, where are you going?" I took another step towards him, feeling my heart pounding.

"I need to go somewhere and think," he stepped outside, leaving his briefcase behind. I chased after him through the open door.

"Lucas, you can't just leave! We need to figure this out!" I shouted as I stepped out onto the front porch. The cold air was almost painful against my tear soaked cheeks.

"Rachel this is all too much for me, okay?" he replied as he turned to look at me.

"What's too much for you?" I asked, stopping on the edge of the porch. I wrapped my arms around myself to stay warm.

"Everything," he replied, waving his arms around. "My job is work, our relationship is work, having kids is going to be extra work," I tightened my jaw and glared at him.

"Wow," I said, nodding my head. "I didn't realize that being with me felt like an extra job to you," Lucas' eyes softened and he held out an arm like he was trying to stop me from continuing.

"No, that's not what I meant. Work wears me out. I-"

"That's exactly what you meant, Lucas," I hissed at him. He kept saying hurtful things and then tried to take them back. "Maybe, if you prioritize your life better then everything wouldn't feel like work. Maybe, if you came home for dinner once a week and sat down with me, your wife, it wouldn't feel like work," he stared at me blankly, as if he didn't understand my words.

"If your job is exhausting you this much then why won't you just come home and let me be there for you?" He looked down at his white truck and started tapping on the hood. My tears have stopped and at this point I'm just furious with him. How could he just stand there and not have anything to say? After a long pause he finally cleared his throat and looked at me.

"I am prioritizing. My job is important. The work I put in affects people's lives, Rachel," I couldn't even believe the words that were coming out of his mouth.

"What about our life, Lucas?" I screamed at him. I know our neighbors could hear us by now. "Are you really telling me that your job is more important than our relationship? More than our future together?" I looked at him, my eyes begged for him to say something. He just stammered and shook his head. "Lucas, please answer me!"

"I don't know! I don't know, Rachel!" he shouted back. I could feel his heart pulling away from mine, like I was losing him right there.

"You don't know?" my voice broke and I started crying again. "How could you not know? You used to tell me that I was the most important thing in the galaxy to you! You're saying that you don't think that anymore?" I could feel my heart breaking as I asked him this.

"Rachel, I can't do this with you right now, I need some time to think." he backed away from me and started to get in the truck.

"Lucas? Lucas, wait!" I began to step off of the porch.

"I love you, Rachel. More than anything, I promise," he said as he took one final, painful look at me before getting into the car and driving away. I tried yelling after him but no sound came out of my mouth. I collapsed down onto the front step and buried my face into my hands. 

#

Houston, Texas in Dr. Wilson's Office, Thursday, September 5th 2030 at 4:00 pm

Rachel

A beeping noise interrupts my train of thought as I finish my story.

"Looks like our time is up for today," Dr. Wilson says softly as he finishes writing something down. I sigh deeply. That was exhausting. I can hear Lucas sigh next to me as well. My heart feels like it's about to explode. I glance over at Lucas, and find myself yearning to be in his arms. I know that my anxiety would vanish if he held me.

"I think that we made a lot of really great progress today. I will develop some follow up questions along with an action plan for our future sessions based on the information I gathered from both of you today. You both did an excellent job sharing, and I look forward to seeing you next week. Keep up with this level of communication."

Lucas clears his throat next to me before he stands up. I follow him timidly, not wanting to bump into him accidentally. Dr. Wilson reaches out to shake my hand first, and then Lucas'. As we walk out the door, I feel a sense of relief as well as dread. I know that Lucas and I made progress today by talking about when he left, but this is only the beginning of a long journey to repairing what has been broken.