Rachel

The coffee shop is mostly empty as people don't typically order caffeine when it's almost four o'clock in the afternoon. I've been sitting here anxiously sipping on my iced caramel macchiato while I wait to be summoned.

I glance around the room again to try and relax. There's only five round tables in here with a small bar to sit along the wall next to the register. It smells like cocoa and coffee beans, which is probably the most comforting smell to me. My mom used to make a mocha every morning before she went to work, and the smell of chocolate coffee would wake us all up before school. Sophie would come running into my room and jump on me in bed, despite me protesting every morning.

I secretly loved it, though.

Lucas' iced mocha sits on the table next to me. He runs warmer than most, and even in the winter he drinks his coffee cold. I had to introduce him to the world of iced coffee in college, otherwise he would just set his cup of hot coffee in the fridge to cool it off. Lucas is the smartest person I know, but when he does silly things like that it always makes me smile.

"Oh, good, you didn't move onto mine," Lucas' sweet voice brings me out of my daze as he places a warm hand on my back.

His dark hair falls over his forehead as he leans down to give me a kiss.

"I would never," I defend as I brush his hair out of his handsome face.

He sits down across from me and takes a sip from his coffee.

"I'm supposed to send you back to Dr. Wilson's office." He smiles at me flirtatiously. "But I just want to stare at you for a moment."

My cheeks are burning even though my mouth is full of iced caramel. Lucas grins from ear to ear as I struggle to choke it down.

"Well, you can stare at me all you'd like when we get home," I tease.

His eyes light up as I slowly rise from the table.

"I'll be back soon!" I quickly rush away from Lucas despite his calls for me to come back, teasing him.

#

The office is decorated with colorful Christmas lights, red bows, poinsettias, and little Santa figurines. There is a small tree sitting atop a red blanket in front of the window that Lucas likes to gaze out of. It's full of twinkling lights and handmade ornaments. I walk over to the tree and examine them; there's little clay handprints, popsicle stick creations, and school photos. The blue of the velvet couch looks darker now, as if it is also sad that we won't be coming back after today.

That's the goal, at least.

"Rachel, please come and sit down," Dr. Wilson says as he finishes up a granola bar from behind his desk.

I gingerly take my seat on the sofa and watch Dr. Wilson as he sits down across from me and plops his binder onto his lap.

I wonder what he's written down in there over the last three months.

"I had a wonderful chat with Lucas, and I'm looking forward to our conversation as well," he says warmly.

I can feel my palms beginning to sweat in anticipation of his questions.

"I said this to Lucas before we began, so I am going to reiterate it to you as well. These questions are for reflective purposes only, not to make you feel guilty about any past events in the relationship."

I nod at him quickly as I rub my hands on my jeans. He glances down at his notes before looking up at me again.

"You were in a whirlwind romance with a man named Sam for one week while Lucas was away on his most recent mission," Dr. Wilson begins bluntly. "It sounded like it ended as quickly as it began. I am curious as to why," he poses.

I stare at him for a moment, trying to think about how I explained it to him previously. I was hesitant before, unsure of my real answer. He must be asking me this again because he didn't believe me before.

"The short answer for both is because of Lucas." I swallow as I try to untangle the mess of words in my head. "It started because Lucas made me feel like he didn't want me anymore." I clear my throat. "And then it ended because I realized how much I wanted him. It didn't matter to me anymore if Lucas wasn't ready for a family, I just knew that I needed him in my life."

Dr. Wilson darts his eyes up at me as his hand stops.

"So you're saying that you were willing to give up on what you wanted for the time being, as long as you could still be with Lucas?" His question sounds hesitant at first, but then a grin starts to spread across his face.

"I decided that I was willing to wait however long until he was ready for a family if that meant that he would still be here." My eyes sting as I speak, and Dr. Wilson slides the box of tissues over to me.

He really should just leave them on our side.

"Have the two of you talked about this at all since?"

I shake my head immediately as I was already anticipating this follow up question.

"I see. Do you still want to begin a family with Lucas?"

I tilt my head and smile as I think about Lucas being a father.

"Yes, absolutely," I answer confidently. "I couldn't imagine having a family with anyone else. Lucas has been my family since we were sixteen."

Dr. Wilson beams at me as he jots a few things down in his binder. His smile grows as he sets his pen down.

"I think it would be beneficial to the future of your relationship if you spoke to Lucas about this." He props his elbow up on the arm of his chair as he rests his head on his fist.

I nod at him timidly.

He picks up on my uncertainty and closes his binder completely.

"Would it help ease some of your anxiousness if I said that I truly believe the conversation will go differently, this time?"

My eyes widen at his sincerity, and I can feel my heart pounding with joy.

"Yes, that helps tremendously." I play with the rings on my fingers, grinning at my lap.

"Wonderful. I have just one more question for you, Rachel."

I look up at him expectantly, feeling more excited than when I walked in here.

"Why do you love Lucas?"

His question is so open ended, and I have no clue where to start.

"I love Lucas for so many reasons," I say to fill in the silence as I think. Dr. Wilson is waiting as patiently as ever.

He never makes you feel like you have to rush in here.

"Lucas is my person," I start to explain. "He was my first friend, even before Nicole, when my family moved to New York. He made me feel safe as soon as I met him. He's closed off and quiet most of the time, but when he's comfortable with you, he's vibrant and exciting," I smile at my hands and twirl my wedding band around on my finger.

Dr. Wilson beams at me, sitting completely still in his chair as he listens.

"He never ceases to make me laugh, and I think his intelligence and passion are very attractive. He always makes me feel like I'm the most special thing in the universe. It's an almost magical feeling I get when he looks at me, and it will never get old." I giggle as I feel myself blushing.

"Thank you for sharing, Rachel. That was lovely." Dr. Wilson sets his binder down on the coffee table and grins warmly at me. "Do you have any final questions for me before we call Lucas back in?"

I think for a moment, before I realize something.

"Oh my gosh! I don't even know your first name!" I practically shout this at him, making Dr. Wilson laugh heartily.

"My first name is Lionel." He grins from ear to ear at me.

"Lionel," I say back. "It fits you perfectly, Dr. Wilson."

He chuckles again as he stands up from his chair.

It really does. It's a comforting name, and Dr. Wilson's personality is like a hot cup of cocoa.

"Let me meet the two of you in the hall, I have something for you before you leave," he says as he guides me to the door.

Lucas is sitting in one of the chairs about halfway down the hall. He has a bright pink drink in a plastic cup sitting in his lap. His eyes light up when he sees me come out, and he quickly strides over to me.

"I figured you would want something to sip on in the car since you forgot your water bottle." He smiles sweetly at me as he reaches out to hand me the beautiful looking smoothie. I didn't even realize that I left my water bottle at home. I don't have any words to thank Lucas for his simple, yet incredibly thoughtful gesture.

He knows me so well.

I throw my arms around his waist and squeeze him as tightly as I can. He grunts at my embrace, but quickly wraps his strong arms around my back.

"You're welcome, sweetheart," he mumbles into my hair through a chuckle.

I take the smoothie from him and sip on it. A splash of strawberry and mango dance around in my mouth.

"What a wonderful Christmas gift the two of you just gave me," Dr. Wilson says grinning as he steps out of his office. He's holding a thin square present covered in gold wrapping paper. There's a sparkly white ribbon tied around the front. "I want the two of you to have this before you go," he holds out the gift and I gingerly take it from his hands.

"I don't even want to open it, it's so beautiful." I trace the ribbon with my fingertips, admiring the perfect lines in the paper.

"I will tell my wife that you appreciated her gift wrapping craft." Dr. Wilson chuckles and shakes his head endearingly.

"Can we open it now?" Lucas asks innocently from my right.

Dr. Wilson nods his head eagerly as he adjusts his glasses.

I slide the ribbon off and hand it to Dr. Wilson, assuming his wife will want it back. He nods as he takes it gratefully.

I gently remove the paper and start to see the edges of what looks like a picture frame. I pull it out of its golden shield, revealing the photo of Lucas and I from when we almost won the paintballing competition back in September. My jaw drops and I cover my mouth with my free hand. Our smiles are shining bright through our dirt caked faces.

"Oh, wow," Lucas whispers as he reaches out to hold the other side of the frame. "This is so thoughtful, thank you Dr. Wilson." Lucas wraps his arm around my waist and kisses the side of my head.

"Yeah, I totally forgot about this photo. I can't wait to hang it up!" My eyes begin to burn as tears form. This was the first time Lucas and I kissed after he came back, and the first time we really communicated with each other.

"Come look in my office really quickly." Dr. Wilson disappears behind his door, leaving Lucas and I to follow him.

When we round the corner of the door, he is gesturing proudly to a matching photo he must have just put up behind the blue velvet couch.

"Now, I get to look at one of the most wonderful moments I got to experience with any of my clients every day I sit in my chair," he says boastfully.

The overwhelming amount of pride I feel in my chest pushes me forward and I give Dr. Wilson a bear hug. The tears are falling down my face at an uncontrollable rate as I realize that our time in this office has truly come to an end. Lucas joins in on the group hug, squeezing both of us under his wingspan. We all laugh together heartily, trying to stop ourselves from crying.

Dr. Wilson grabs the tissue box from the coffee table and holds it out for all of us.

"I guess I need one of these this time," he mumbles as he wipes his eyes gently. "I hope that I will see the two of you sometime soon, just not in here." He smiles at us sincerely as he walks us to the door again.

"Thank you for everything, doc," Lucas whispers as he shakes Dr. Wilson's hand aggressively.

We give him one more wave as we walk down the hall for the last time. I feel Lucas's fingers interlock with mine as we make our way out of the building. We walk together quietly until we step out onto the sidewalk. There's a cool breeze that causes me to snuggle into Lucas, stealing his warmth.

"Hey," I say to him with a mischievous grin.

"What?" he asks as he matches my expression.

"Want to try and guess what Dr. Wilson's first name is?" Lucas stops walking in the middle of the sidewalk and stares at me.

"You know?" He holds onto my waist tightly. "Tell me."

"No, you have to guess!" I giggle as I try to squeeze out of his grip.

"No, you have to tell me." He starts tickling me, knowing my weakness.

"Okay! Okay!" I shout, out of breath. "His name is Lionel."

Lucas gasps at me as a wide grin spreads across his face.

"Lionel," he says out loud, just as I did when I heard it for the first time. "Why does that fit him perfectly?''

Our joyous laughter slowly dies down as we take in the scenery around us. There are lines beginning to form outside of the shops that spread down the road.

"How about we grab something to eat here?" Lucas suggests as he glances around. "We've never eaten down here in all of our time living in Houston, we might as well make it a date."

I beam at Lucas' words and give him a forceful kiss on his cheek.

"Maybe a food truck? I already have a yummy drink." I lift up my bright pink smoothie and jiggle it around.

"Sounds perfect, beautiful." Lucas presses a very slow, but sweet kiss to my lips.

I loop my arm under his and we head down the sidewalk in the opposite direction of our car, hopping over little cracks and pushing each other around playfully. The air is crisp and refreshing, and the breeze blows away the somber pieces of the evening, leaving behind comfortable elation.