Houston, Texas, in the Clarke Home, Monday, August 12th, 2030 at 5:30pm

Rachel

I rubbed my temples as Principal Jeffreys finished up with the staff meeting. I looked up at the clock and saw that it was after five o'clock.

"Thank you all for coming, I will see everyone tomorrow morning!" she said cheerfully, although I could see how tired she was. She was almost nine months pregnant, but hadn't confirmed who the temporary replacement will be while she's on maternity leave.

"This meeting is going to be an hour my ass," Artemis said next to me. I chuckled and shook my head at her. She had wild curly hair and the pattern of her sweater and her dress were mismatched. She was the head of the Performing Arts Department, and my closest friend at work.

"You know how these meetings are," I replied to her as I stood up and collected my belongings. "We have one before every school event to make sure we still know how to talk to other adults."

Artemis laughed heartily at me. Parent teacher conferences were coming up on Friday.

"Are you headed home?" Artemis asked as she applied a third coat of bright red lipstick. It matched her glasses, which appeared to be floral print today.

I think she has enough glasses to start her own store. Frames of Artemis, or something like that.

"We could grab a drink," Artemis suggested. We had been hanging out a lot while Lucas was away. She was there for me through a lot. I shook my head at her.

"No, I'm going home." My voice started to quiver a little. The stress of the uncertainty of whether or not Lucas was going to be at home was consuming all of my energy. Artemis put her makeup away and gave me a big hug. She smelled overly sweet like an ice cream shop with a hint of acrylic paint.

"Call me if you want me to come and pick you up," she said as she pulled away. "I can be there in a jiffy." She bent her arm and swung it in front of her like she was about to throw something.

She's always so animated and positive.

I met her two years ago when I got hired. She was tasked with showing me around the school and teaching me how to use my lunch number. She used to do pageants, and it showed through her positivity and confidence.

"Thanks, Art. I'll let you know if I need anything," I said goodbye to her and some other coworkers before getting in my car and heading home.

#

The drive felt shorter than normal. We only lived about fifteen minutes from Vanguard Prep, but it felt like only a few minutes had passed before I was pulling down our road. The sun was still shining, but the light was more orange than gold at this time of the evening.

My heart skipped a beat when I saw Lucas' white truck sitting in the driveway.

Oh my god. He's home.

He really came home. I almost missed the turn into our driveway. I couldn't decide which I felt more of; relief or anxiety. Were we finally going to address what happened back in November? Was he going to ask me about what I did while he was away?

My mind was racing a thousand miles a minute as I got out of the car and walked along the stone path that led up to our door. The sunlight hit the moss in between the stones, giving them an almost magical appearance. Our porch was covered with specks of gold coming in through the lattice. I inhaled deeply; the smell of flowers and freshly mowed grass filled my nose.

Sunshine really is therapeutic.

I headed up the stairs and as I was about to reach for my keys I saw the door knob start to turn. I froze. The door opened and Lucas was standing there. His face was worried at first, but when he made eye contact with me his expression softened.

"Rachel, you're home," he said through an exhale.

He has on a light blue t-shirt and dark jeans. It's fitted to him, showing off his muscles. My fingers felt like they were itching, I wanted to hug him and touch his face. He looked slightly thinner than before he left.

Being in space for a long time is hard on the muscles and the bones of the body.

Lucas had told me. The lightness of the shirt made his dark hair and eyes stand out, giving him an irresistibly sexy contrast.

"Yeah, I, uh," I stammered, still in disbelief that he was standing in front of me. "I had a meeting." I managed to get out.

We stared at each other for a moment, tension building. I couldn't look away from him, afraid that if I did he might not be there anymore. He stepped aside and gestured for me to come in. I glanced into our home, and then back at Lucas. He was still staring at me. I slowly walked through the open door, timidly sliding past Lucas.

The smell of oregano and tomato filled my nostrils. Lucas closed the door behind me and walked towards the kitchen.

"I'll be right back, I need to check on something in the kitchen," he said as he jogged down the hall.

Is he making dinner?

I quickly followed him, not wanting to let him out of my sight. There were dishes scattered all over the island. Cutting boards with pieces of spinach, onion, cheese and tomato on them.

I had always been the one to cook for us, except one night a week Lucas would make us dinner. It was almost always some sort of pasta. Steam rose from a pot of water on the stove, making the metal hood above the oven and the white subway tiles along the wall foggy. I watched him as he moved awkwardly around the kitchen. He was shuffling dishes around aimlessly.

"When did you get home?" I asked him. My question seemed to catch him off guard as he knocked over a bowl of diced tomatoes.

"About an hour ago," he answered hesitantly. "I figured you would be home when I got here, but when I saw that you weren't, I went to the store to grab some stuff for dinner."

Why is he acting so normal?

"I'm tired of eating food from a pouch." He laughed slightly, trying to ease some of the tension. When he made eye contact with me his face fell slightly.

"Rachel, I know that we have a lot that we need to talk about," he said softly as he cleaned up his mess. I watched his arm muscles flex as he wiped up the counter. "But I also know that you probably haven't eaten today."

He was right. I was so distracted by his return today that I didn't even eat my lunch on my break.

"Except for a coffee, I'm assuming," he smirked before stirring the pasta sauce. I looked away from him shyly.

"Maybe two," I said, holding my fingers up. He gasped as he set down the spoon he's stirring the pasta sauce with.

"No wonder you were voted as the most energetic teacher last year," Lucas and I laughed together. For just a moment, it felt like we hadn't been apart.

"Go ahead and sit down, I just have to mix it all together," Lucas says sweetly as he gestures to the dining room.

It's connected to the kitchen through a rounded archway. The walls were painted a dark red, and a beautiful artisan rug was spread out under a mahogany table. I had the table set up with woven placemats and the crystal from Lucas' grandmother. There were new flowers in the center of the table; beautiful pink roses spilled out of my favorite green, square vase. My jaw dropped and I felt my heart start to flutter. I walked over and gently touched one of the petals.

"I noticed that the flowers were pretty dead," Lucas said as he carried in two plates of food. I could see specks of green in the tomato sauce. "I know that those are your favorite, so." He set the plates down on opposite placemats and some of the parmesan fell off onto the table. He made eye contact with me and I could feel my stomach turning. He grinned at me sniffing the flowers and started to return to the kitchen.

"I'm sorry, Lucas," I said, my voice barely a whisper. He stopped and glanced at me again. "I'm sorry that I wasn't there today." He darted his eyes down to the floor for just a second before making eye contact again. His lips curved into a sweet smile as he nodded.

"I'm sorry that I made you feel like I didn't want you there." He kept his eyes locked on mine for a few seconds before he turned away and headed into the kitchen. He came back with two glasses of water and sat down across from me.

Dinner was mostly normal, besides the obvious tension between us. We sat and caught up for almost an hour as Lucas shared details of his trip to the International Space Station. We were both clearly avoiding the inevitable. There was a lull in our conversation, and I knew that I needed to start.

"Lucas," I said gently. "We should probably talk now," he tapped on his water glass a few times before replying.

"Yes, we should," he nodded and rubbed his forehead. "I would like to start," he cleared his throat and rested his elbows on the table. I tried to hide my visible shock at his offering, but I don't think that I succeeded.

"This is going to be a lot of information at once, and I need you to wait until I'm finished before you respond," he continued as he looked at me seriously.

I was terrified of what he was about to tell me. My friends and I had all postulated for the last eight months about why Lucas left without saying goodbye. Anne couldn't get any information from Cooper whenever they talked, but I didn't expect her to since that was their sacred time together.

"Okay," I replied as I got comfortable in my chair. Lucas clasped his hands together on the table in front of him.

"About three months before I left for the mission my team finished up that big eco project we were working on," he began.

I remembered. Lucas worked tirelessly at home on it every night for months until he got it right. It was a new type of heat sensor that Lucas was designing.

"After the demonstration was over, the team decided to go out and celebrate." Lucas looked at me and I could feel my palms starting to sweat. He rubbed his finger tips together before continuing, "We went to a bar and had a few beers. I thought that I could handle only having a couple, but I was wrong," he paused and glanced away from the table.

My heart was racing.

What did he do? Did he cheat on me that night?

"I started going to bars after work by myself," Lucas continued, still looking away from me. "To hide it when I got home, I told you that I needed to finish up some work."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Lucas would be in his office until midnight sometimes. He always took a shower when he came up to bed, until he stopped coming to bed altogether. He would usually just fall asleep on the couch or in his office, but some nights I knew that he slept in the guest room.

I swallowed my rage and stayed quiet.

"I started to drink more and more when I'd go. I was too drunk to drive home sometimes, so I would just walk back and sleep in my office for the night." Lucas turned back towards the table but still didn't look at me.

My eyes started to burn. He chose to stay out and get drunk over coming home to me at night. He lied to me constantly.

How did I not notice?

"Cooper figured it out when he caught me sleeping in my office one morning, but I couldn't admit that I had a problem to anyone, especially you. I wanted to just fix it on my own, hoping you would never find out. I knew that I let you down and I couldn't bring myself to tell you," his voice broke and his eyes started to water, and I could feel mine doing the same.

"I also needed to sort it out on my own to avoid any repercussions at work," Lucas whispered. Astronauts underwent strenuous lab testing and check ups prior to launches, but only got routine things checked.

"When you told me that you were ready to start a family I knew that I had to get better before we could do that," he mumbled as he quickly wiped away a few tears that fell down his cheek. His vulnerability was incredibly alluring, and all I wanted to do was hold him despite how angry I was with him.

"I volunteered for the mission as a way to get sober. A forced rehab where I wouldn't have access to anything," he stated. I was speechless.

He thought that the best course of action was to leave?

I couldn't even look at him anymore. I bit my lip and held back tears.

If I start crying now, I won't be able to say what I need to say to him.

I wasn't sure if he's finished or not yet, so I didn't say anything.

We sat in silence for a while before Lucas continued, "I'm so sorry, Rachel."

I glanced up at him. He wiped away more tears that fell.

"I know that I messed everything up. I messed up before I even left and then I made it so much worse," he puts his head in his hands. I desperately wanted to rush over to him and wrap my arms around his broad shoulders, but it felt as if my anger was anchoring me to my chair.

"I can't believe you lied to me for months," I squeaked out. Lucas just rubbed his temples. "You chose to be away from me almost every night so that you could get drunk?" Tears started to form in my eyes again. Lucas quickly picked his head up and looked at me.

"No, no, I didn't choose to be away from you, I just didn't want to hurt you," Lucas defended himself. His tone sounded broken, like my question physically hurt him.

"Instead of coming home right after work you went out to bars and drank by yourself," I responded, my voice getting louder. "And then you stopped coming home altogether because you were too drunk," I could feel my neck getting warm as my temper rose. I wished that I would've replied while he was sharing, because now my feelings were coming out all at once in a jumbled, frustrated mess.

"How could you lie to me like that Lucas?" My voice was slightly above a normal talking volume now as I began to work myself up.

"I didn't want to disappoint you," Lucas said back equally as loud. "I was trying to protect you." He sat up straight in his chair.

"Protect me? From what?" I asked sternly.

"From having to go through watching me get sober again," Lucas practically shouted this at me. "In college, when I had to fight this crutch that I created for myself, you were there. You were there every night and you had to watch me struggle. I know that it hurt you to see me like that."

"Of course that hurt. I don't want you to be in pain, Lucas," my voice softened. I didn't want to add to his pain. "But it hurts me more that you felt like you couldn't ask me for help. I'm your wife, Lucas." I could barely get the words out as I choked back tears.

I need to keep it together so we can finish this conversation.

"If I was struggling with something like that I know that I can come to you. Why didn't you feel like you could come to me?" I asked him.

He gazed at me with so much sadness in his eyes.

"I don't know," he said as he shook his head.

"You don't know?" my voice was curt. "You knew that you needed to avoid me for months but you don't know why?"Hhis face soured slightly.

I know that hurt him.

"I wasn't avoiding you, Rachel, I was trying not to hurt you," he reiterated quietly as he rubbed his palm against his forehead.

"By avoiding me," I crossed my arms and glared at him.

I know that I'm being stubborn right now but he's not meeting me halfway.

"You don't get to decide what's best for me, Lucas," I growled. The sorrow in my heart had been taken over by anger.

"No, obviously you decided what was best for you while I was away," his tone was short and petty.

Does he know? How could he know?

"I had to decide what was best for me and that's exactly what I did," he stated, his tone vexed.

"What was best for you?" I shot up from my chair and took a hasty step towards him. He followed my lead and stood up as well. "You're telling me that the best thing for you was to leave me for eight months without saying a single thing?" I pointed at him and clenched my teeth. "I didn't even come to your return this morning because I didn't think you wanted me to be there!" I was practically yelling at him now, and my heart was pounding with adrenaline.

"Yes, I knew you wouldn't have agreed with my decision so I didn't tell you. And I apologized for that earlier," his tone was more irritated now. My jaw tightened as I nodded at him slowly before looking down at the table.

"And how did you picture our dynamic when you made this decision? Did you think everything was going to be fine when you got back? Did you think I was just going to forgive you for what you did to me because you thought it was the best choice?" I howled at him. Tears were pouring down my face now. Lucas' expression changed from aggravated to concerned.

"No. I knew that you probably wouldn't just wait for me with the way that I left things," his voice was so quiet that I could barely hear him. He put his hands on the back of the dining chair and leaned forward. "I know that I can't take back what I did. I know that I have to win your heart back." He looked at me with such intensity I could barely breathe. I almost forget how furious I was with him for a moment.

"How do I know that I can trust you not to leave me again? Can you promise me that you won't?" I posed. Lucas shook his head and darted his eyes away from me.

"I don't know," he replied grimly. "I will just have to work at it."

"That's your big plan?" My blood was boiling now. "You had eight months to figure out what you wanted, Lucas. Clearly, it's not this if you can't even promise me that you'll be here." I could feel my legs weakening as my heart began to break again. Lucas still wasn't looking at me.

"Are you not going to say anything?" I was shouting at him again. He glanced at me for a second before returning his gaze to the table.

"I don't know what to say to make you believe me right now," his voice was practically a whisper.

Is that it? He has nothing else to say to me? He was away on his mission with all of this knowledge and he still doesn't have anything to say?

I cleared my throat and took another step towards him until we were just inches away from each other. His strained eyes locked onto mine.

"Lucas," I said as seriously as I could. "I'm going to go and take a shower." His eyebrows shift, unsure of where I'm going with this. "And when I come back downstairs you better have something to say to me, or this is over." His eyes look frantically back and forth between mine.

"Rachel, please-" he started to plead with me before I cut him off.

"I'm serious, Lucas. I've been sitting here for eight months wondering why my husband left me without a reason. Do you know how many scenarios I've drafted in my head? How many nights I cried myself to sleep because I felt so heartbroken without you? And you just stand there, with no plan to repair things and you don't even have a good reason for lying to me." The tears have stopped and my temper has taken over. Lucas looked like he had just been stabbed by my words.

"I've been alone for the better part of a year, thinking that I was the reason you left. You don't get to walk back into my life and expect me to just accept whatever information you give me just because you're sorry and you think you're right." A river was flowing from Lucas' eyes now. He didn't wipe it away.

"I deserve better than 'I don't know' and 'I'll work at it', Lucas,". He still didn't say anything. I let out a deep sigh. "I'm going upstairs. I really, really hope that you make the right decision this time." I turned to head upstairs. He let me walk away from him.