Houston, Texas, in Dr. Wilson's Office, on Thursday, September 19th, 2030 at 3:00 pm

Lucas

"I got one of the most wonderful emails over the weekend," Dr. Wilson begins as Rachel and I sit down on the plush sofa. He's smiling ear to ear as he pulls out his laptop and shows us the photo of us from the paintball competition. Rachel starts giggling next to me.

"I hope you won't mind, but I would love to print this out and frame it for my office. I've never had a couple win the competition before." Dr. Wilson's cheeks are beaming, adding patches of pink to his dark skin.

I know that Rachel would also love to have a copy of the photo.

He scrolls down in the email and starts showing us some action shots from the actual competition.

"It was a lot of fun!" Rachel responds. "We haven't done anything like that together in a long time, and I think we managed to communicate well and...reconnect," her voice trails off slightly at the end of her response.

I find myself grinning, remembering how we kissed. It had been so long since I had touched her that the moment felt almost magical.

Rachel and I go on and on about how we took out the different teams throughout the match. The conversation seems to last only a few minutes, but when I look at the clock on the wall, I see that it's already three-thirty. I wonder why he's letting us just talk about the competition during the session.

"How so?" Dr. Wilson continues. He must have something planned.

"Well, we had a tough time in the beginning because we were sort of distracted," Rachel plays with the rings on her fingers. "But, then we figured it out, and we won! Well, we officially got second." She's trying to shift the conversion back to the competition itself.

"Distracted? Like in this photo?" Dr. Wilson shows us a photo where I have my hands on Rachel's shoulders at the car. He definitely had a motive for letting us reminisce first.

The rust between the paint splatter looks almost golden in the sunlight. We stand out in our black gear, speckled with blobs of blue and purple paint.

"What was going on here?" he asks inquisitively. We were distracted in this photo, but not because of our conversation in the car.

"I told Rachel that I was moving to a different location that had more shelter but she didn't hear me," I answer quickly, not really wanting to talk about the real distraction. "I was apologizing to her because two teams flanked us and we were separated."

Dr. Wilson doesn't seem like he quite believes my answer.

"I see," he mutters as he writes a few things down in his binder before looking over at Rachel. "You look quite upset in this photo. Can you tell me why?"

Rachel shifts uncomfortably next to me as she clears her throat. She's sitting just a few inches away from me.

"Well, I didn't hear him tell me that he was moving so I thought that he just left me there," Rachel's voice is quieter than before. "I guess that it just reminded me of when he left for his mission without telling me."

I rub the back of my neck and look over at her. She doesn't look like she's going to cry, but her cheeks are flushed.

"Obviously it's not the same magnitude, so I don't know why I was so upset," she chuckles again and looks down at her heels.

"I see," Dr. Wilson says gently as he writes something down in his binder again. "And how did that make you feel, Rachel?"

She looks away from her shoes and over at the door for a moment before answering, "I was scared, I guess." She starts playing with the hem on her red skirt.

It looks vibrant against the dark blue of the sofa. Dr. Wilson is still waiting patiently. The dark color scheme makes you feel like you have all the time in the world to speak.

"I just didn't want to be alone again," she mumbles before wiping her right eye quickly, trying to prevent anyone from noticing.

"Do you mean that you were afraid to be alone in general, or afraid to be without Lucas again?" Dr. Wilson asks bluntly.

I look at him and find myself gasping slightly, although it's not loud enough for anyone to hear.

"I think that your answer to that question is very important, and if you need to think about-" Dr. Wilson starts to elaborate but Rachel cuts him off gently.

"Being without Lucas again," she says confidently.

I swallow hard as I feel my eyes start to well up a little. My heart is pounding with joy. I turn to look at Rachel. She has her hands together in her lap and is staring at the coffee table.

"Can you elaborate for us?" Dr. Wilson asks. "I'm sure Lucas would appreciate it." He glances at me quickly, and I think I saw a small grin.

"I mean I know that he's going to leave again," Rachel continues. I feel my heart sink back down.

Does she not believe me anymore? I thought that I had reassured her.

"He is still an astronaut who has an important job to do," she shrugs.

I find myself exhaling as the nausea in my stomach fades.

"He is going to physically leave again, but I just don't want him to emotionally leave me again." Tears begin to fall quickly but quietly from her chin. I reach out and pull one of her hands away from her lap to hold it comfortingly. She smiles but doesn't look over at me.

"That's never going to happen again, Rach," I whisper to her. "I promise."

She rests her head on my shoulder as she interlocks her fingers with mine, making my heart skip a beat. She hasn't been this close to me in so long, I just want to scoop her up and hold her in my lap.

"I know, I believe you," her voice is broken and quiet, but I can tell she means it. My cheeks are beaming as I smile against her hair. She smells like summer.

"Rachel," Dr. Wilson says gently. "Why do you believe in Lucas?" His tone shows that he's genuinely asking out of psychological curiosity, not because he's challenging her trust in me.

"He's just different now," Rachel answers. "He pays more attention to me and he's at home more. We are also opening up about things. It's a slow process to talk about everything from the past year, but I know that he's trying his best."

I let go of her hand to wrap my arm around her shoulders and kiss the side of her head.

"I'm also trying my best, and he's very patient and understanding with me. Sometimes I don't deserve it," she whispers.

I feel her hand rest on my knee as she says this. The warmth from her body and her comforting smell is easing some of my own anxiety about this conversation. Rachel has always been my happy place.

"Why don't you feel like you deserve it?" Dr. Wilson asks quickly.

"I kept things from him while he was away," Rachel answers quietly.

I knew we were going to have to talk about this today, but I don't want to hear about him.

"It's the real reason why we were distracted in the beginning of the match. It was before we got into the arena," Rachel sighs heavily.

I feel like I should chime in to take some of the weight off of her, but I can't find the courage to speak.

"I was with someone for a week in Seattle while he was away on his mission," she finally says it. The words stab my heart all over again. I don't realize that I'm squeezing Rachel's shoulder with my hand.

Dr. Wilson raises his eyebrows slightly but doesn't write anything down.

Did he expect her to say that?

"Lucas asked me about it in the car before we got to Beaumont. We didn't really get to talk about it before the competition started so we were distracted," Rachel finishes. I can feel her body heating up next to mine as she gets more anxious.

"How did Lucas ask you about it?" Dr. Wilson finally responds to the new information.

Now I should definitely chime in.

"It was honestly more of an interrogation," I say bluntly as I rub Rachel's arm. "Which I'm not proud of." I clear my throat. "I found out about it while I was up on the ISS."

"How did you find out while you were away? I don't know much about your accommodations on the ISS, but I imagine it's not as easy to communicate with people from home as it is from down the road?" Dr. Wilson asks as he shifts his body towards me.

"Yeah, we can video chat and call people, check our emails, surf the web. Small things like that," I explain. "I was, umm..." I start to explain how I heard about Rachel while I was away, but the memory is so painful that I find myself struggling.

"I was on a video call with my parents," I manage to get out.

I feel Rachel's body shift in my arms as she turns to look up at me.

"Your parents told you? I never said anything to them," she seems shocked.

"They didn't tell me that you were seeing someone. They were telling me about how beautiful the flower arrangement was that I sent for your birthday," Rachel's mouth drops open and she looks away from me. Her cheeks turn pink and I can see that she's embarrassed.

"I'm assuming that you didn't send her any flowers?" Dr. Wilson chimes in as he rapidly scribbles his notes down. I shake my head at him. The stabbing pain in my chest returns as I think about it again.

He didn't even send her the right flowers.

Dr. Wilson nods slowly and sets his pen down, almost as if he's trying to show respect for my feelings.

"I see. How did it make you feel when you found out?" he asks.

I think about my answer, trying to decide how descriptive I want to be.

"It felt like I was falling back to the Earth," my words come out in a whisper. I don't want to dwell on what I said, so I continue, "But I only knew that she was seeing someone. Nothing else. I asked Rachel to tell me more about it when we got home from the competition."

Rachel sighs heavily next to me. I can feel that her breathing is faster than before.

"What did you tell Lucas, Rachel?" Dr. Wilson picks his pen back up and rests his hand on his open binder. She takes another deep breath before answering.

"I told him that it only lasted a week, and that I met him at a conference I attended in Seattle this past June," Rachel's voice is shaky.

"Is that everything that you told him?" Dr. Wilson pushes.

"I also briefly explained why it started and why it ended," Rachel answers as she exhales rapidly. "This is what I was talking about when I said that I didn't deserve his newfound understanding nature," she smiles uncomfortably and shifts again under my arm. I rub her shoulder with my thumb, trying to make her feel less anxious

"Lucas, do you want to know more?" Dr. Wilson asks as he turns to look back at me. I open my mouth to start to say something, but I hesitate. I rub my face with my free hand.

"Yes," I answer, my voice barely audible.

I can't stand all of the scenarios that have been playing constantly in my head since I found out. Rachel's muscles tense up under my arm. I turn to look at her, but she doesn't meet my gaze.

"Rach," I say gently. I wait, wanting her to look at me. She finally does after a few seconds of silence. "What's his name?" I ask her sternly.

Her eyes search mine, wondering if she really has to answer. She blinks a few times before responding, "Lucas, why does that matter? It doesn't change anything."

I feel my grip on her shoulder tighten as I try to think about how to push her to share without pushing her away.

"It changes everything because then I know who slept with my wife while I wasn't around." My tone is harsher than I wanted it to be, but I'm still furious about it. The thought of another man's hands on her, his lips on her, him saying romantic things to her; it's driving me crazy.

She's taken aback by my words and leans away slightly, but I don't let her. I need to be more forward with how I feel about her. I have to show her that I don't want to lose her.

"Tell me his name, please," I soften my voice and gently rub her arm, trying to apologize for snapping. "I need to know, Rach."

"I think it would be incredibly beneficial to rebuild the trust between the two of you if you told him who it was, Rachel," Dr. Wilson chimes in. "Lucas is voicing a need to you. It sounds like he was respectful and gave you some time since you last spoke about it," he adds.

Rachel nods slowly before mumbling, "His name is Sam."

Sam. I don't know why, but my first thought is how dumb of a name that is. Who's name is just 'Sam'?

"Sam what?" I find myself blurting out at her. She shakes her head at me.

"Can you promise me that you won't look him up and do something stupid?" Her face is serious. I think for a moment.

What would I do if I had his full name?

"Lucas, do you think that his first name is enough for now? Until the two of you are in a more secure place in the relationship?" Dr. Wilson interrupts my train of thought. He probably remembers the story about Nathan and agrees with Rachel's uncertainty.

I suppose they're both right.

I nod my head but don't say anything immediately.

"Good. Lucas, do you have any other questions about it at the moment?" he asks, getting his pen ready to write.

"No, that was it for now." I feel Rachel grab my left hand with hers. She gives me a reassuring squeeze.

"Can you tell us some more about your video call with your parents?" Just as he finishes asking me to continue, the bell signals that it's time. "Ahh, looks like we are out of time for today. I didn't realize we were already approaching the end of the hour." Dr. Wilson makes a final note in his binder before closing it. "Since we didn't get to finish our conversation together, I would like the two of you to have it at home."

Rachel clears her throat next to me before asking him a question.

"No dirt biking competition this weekend?" she says as she chuckles. Dr. Wilson lets out a jolly laugh as he stands up to say goodbye to us.

"No, that is far too dangerous as a first time activity. Plus, you can't talk to each other while racing around and jumping off of ramps into the dirt," he smiles broadly at Rachel as he shakes her hand.

He turns to me and shakes my hand as well.

"I want you to open up about your time on your mission, Lucas. And Rachel, I want you to open up about your time in Seattle. I think it would help the two of you bridge some of the gap between you," he finishes his instructions for us as we head out the door. I grab Rachel's hand as we head home together. I drive slower than normal, trying to plan out in my head what I'm going to tell her and how.