*Pippa's POV, but a journal entry.*

Dear journal,
Today's date is the 30th. Yesterday, on the 29th, Lin and I ran into my old friend from college. This quick run in to each other didn't take me by surprise, the truth is, I've been having frequent meetings with this friend. It felt nice to reconnect with an old friend. Things have been so crazy lately what, with Lin, Sebastian, and the arrival of our twin girls. Shopping yesterday made me exhausted and Lin did most of the work. Huh. Anyway, back to what I was intending to say, this friend, who shall remain without a name for now, and I have been seeing each other a lot recently. We went to the Juilliard School together. And at one point, we even shared an apartment. It was the time of my life. Truth told, after I started dating Steven, this friend and I stopped talking; he tried to warn me about him, but me being blinded by love, I didn't believe him and I rushed into moving in with Steven. But in the long run, this friend was right. We reconnected when he came to see
Me in Hamilton and a preview for Amélie. It felt great to reconnect. It was just like old times. We laughed, fooled around, ate, sang, made fools of ourselves, etc. I couldn't avoid the topic of Lin for long around him. He almost immediately noticed my wedding rings. I told him about Lin and Sebastian, and our time in California and of course, the miscarriage. He seemed to be supportive of Lin, but I could see in his eyes that he had some doubts. I shrugged them off, and quickly went back to talking about my new life. I appreciated that he cared about me, but sometimes it felt like it was bit too much. And sometimes it seemed like I maybe felt something...

"Pippa? Come on babe, it's dinner time. Your parents are visiting." I heard Lin say as he walked into our room. I quickly closed my journal.

"Coming, sorry, I got caught up." I said and put my journal where I usually hid it.

That was close, way to go, Phillipa.

I joined my family at the table and we all ate and made small talk and talked about the twins.

After a wonderful dinner, I went back to the bedroom, my excuse was I didn't feel well. It seemed to work.

I took out my journal and kept writing.

The 30th, part 2: Wow, it's been a while since I've written multiple entries in the same day. Anyway, family dinner was great. But as I observed my husband, my mind kept wandering back to my friend.. I knew he must be getting lonely, and let's face it, nobody gets younger, only older.

I looked down at my bump and then at my rings. My mind goes back to Lin and our family.

I guess I just don't have a clue anymore.