She doesn't even know her true self

But then again, so do I.

Two lost souls,

wandering this world as hypocrites

- Milli, 'Lost'

‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗‗

Noelle was having a normal day so far.

Her midterms were only a week away and she was on full-throttle, battle-ready mode like most students. Most being the keyword because there were some overly confident ones like Park Jimin, who was preparing for an upcoming debate competition insead.

Noelle had no doubt he would ace the exams even then because Jimin was like that. He could remember a lot of things and always gave his best in whatever he did. An all-rounder, he unlike her was one of the few people she knew could juggle academics and extracurriculars well.

The boy had been very much disappointed when their class lost the 'Best Class Award' which had once been Jimin's pride and joy.

He had blamed it all on the latest edition to their section and rightfully so because Jungkook's juvenile habit of breaking school rules was the reason their class points had been the lowest in the whole school.

So a very offended Jimin now sought to salvage his 'reputation' as the Class President by at least winning the inter-class debate competition. Noelle wanted to laugh at how childish and competitive he was.

Apparently, winning was a very big deal to Park Jimin who had an angelic smile which was the envy of many and you'd do well to remember it if you didn't want to get on his wrong side and prompt him to bare his fangs at you.

Or so Jimin claimed.

Noelle knew that no matter how much her friend bad-mouthed the reticent boy and claimed that he would surely 'straighten' Jungkook out if not for the fact that he didn't want to get into trouble with the teachers for instigating a fight, the truth was that Jimin's bark was worse than his bite.

At least he wasn't like Jeon Jungkook, who's tall frame and icy glares could intimidate anyone.

Speaking of Jeon Jungkook, Jimin wasn't the only one who wasn't really studying for the upcoming exams.

The boy was nowhere to be found.

Sure, it was their free period, the last period for the day in fact; but 'free period' was just another word for self study session for students. Usually P.E. periods were cancelled during exam season, and that was the case that day.

Almost everyone in their class had their textbooks and notes open in front of them, cramming hard to stuff their brains with their contents.

Everyone except one boy was present in the class.

Jeon Jungkook.

Noelle turned her head to stare at his desk. His bag was slung behind his chair yet the said chair was empty.

She sighed out loud. It wasn't surprising in the least. Teachers had by now understood that they couldn't do anything with the defiant teen so they steered clear of him just like the fellow students so no one cared much if Jungkook was absent from class because it was a common enough occurrence.

Soon the period got over and even though everyone scrambled out of the class because they were being let off earlier than usual for evening yaja time had been cancelled in lieu of the upcoming exam preparations; Noelle stayed back in class.

She herself didn't know why, just that when Jimin asked her if she was going back home or to the library, she said the latter and asked him and Taehyung to wait for her there.

After everyone had left and Noelle had properly organised her notes and gathered up her books to stuff them in her bag, she got up to leave.

However something caught her eye as she rounded near a certain someone's seat.

The spine of a very familiar brown leather diary poking out of the half-open zipper of a black bag slung behind the wooden chair, a name written on the spine in bold golden letters.

Lee Noelle.

A thousand thoughts raced in her mind at the speed of light as she wrenched it out of the bag, inspecting the journal which was as dear as her own life; her personal diary which she lost a few days ago.

It was indeed the same leather bound diary in which her deepest, darkest thoughts were messily scrawled.

Many emotions swirled inside her. Relief at having found the diary, confusion at it being in the possession of Jungkook, anger at him being the one who took it yet the most unsettling of them all was the sinking fear- dread that he read it, that he was the one who read the journal which was the mirror to her soul.

She was horrified that Jungkook had seen her true reflection.

Noelle heard incoming steps so she looked up just as a tall boy entered the class, earphones dangling from his ears. Brown orbs met hers and widened, even more so when they landed on the object clutched in her hand.

Jeon Jungkook rolled his lips against each other, almost nervously as he reluctantly stepped closer, all the while staring into her eyes -numerous emotions swirling in their depths.

Noelle's attention went to that little mole under his lips when he did that, the sight making the rough-around-the-edges boy seem vulnerably endearing for one split second.

She snapped out of it by focusing on one emotion out of the many which were fighting for dominance inside her mind. Anger.

Eyes hardening and narrowing, she accused,

"You picked up my diary that day didn't you? The day at the library."

For the first time since he had arrived in their school, the boy looked almost-apologetic. Yet, Noelle's growing wrath at him having found her diary yet purposefully hiding it from her made her disregard the regret swimming in his eyes.

"It's not what you think-"

"Not what I think? I found this inside your bag! Do not feed me any bullshit about me misunderstanding this situation!"

Noelle didn't even stop the curse from slipping from her mouth.

She didn't care anymore. He must've probably read her rants and they contained far worse and less-than-holy words.

"You read it didn't you? You fucking read it!" Her eyes narrowed at him to scrutinise his expression.

He didn't reply and it aggravated her further. He just stood there in front of her, eyes not meeting hers. It confirmed her fears and made the raging storm inside her flare even more.

"Why didn't you return it to me when you found it? Did you think reading it would be fun? So that you can hold the fact against me, the fact that you now know my deepest, darkest thoughts? That's all a little gangster wannabe like you is capable of right? Why do you even bother to come to school when all you do is sleep or listen to wretched songs and ignore everyone including our teachers?

You skip classes, why even bother waking up early and coming here? I know you don't really give a damn about your life, that's why you want to kill yourself with lung cancer right?"

She took a deep breath before continuing,

"Aren't you the least bit ashamed? So many teachers suffer because of your stubbornness. Poor Jimin has to always listen to teachers complain about you because he's the Class President and he is the one who is supposed to keep you in check.

You think you look oh-so cool wearing those ripped jeans to school everyday?! That those tattoos and piercings and that attitude of yours is attractive? You're a hypocrite, that's who you are. You are someone who behaves as if he wants everyone to leave him alone, yet you draw attention to yourself by violating school rules left and right!"

Noelle scoffed, bitter words flowing from her mouth without a second thought due to rage. Something shifted in Jungkook's expression when she uttered the last part, eyes lighting up with an emotion which was reflected in hers too. Anger.

"While I do acknowledge that it was very wrong to read your diary, you are stepping out of line. I can tolerate you shouting at me because I know that your anger is justified, but can you listen to me now, for one second?"

It was the most he had ever said to her or anyone else in the school. His tone made her blink incredulously. Frustration mixed with irritation seeping in voice as he ran a hand through his shaggy locks and continued,

"I was going to return it back, okay? I was going to, but when I read it, I couldn't stop reading." he confessed, making Noelle frown in surprise.

"Elaborate please." She scowled at him and he sighed loudly before speaking, as if he was telling her a secret.

"Your words, your poems; they all felt too emotionally raw. Too compelling, too relatable. Although I am no scholar, I could see they are really good. I could feel your emotions in those lines, I could experience them. I saw the real Lee Noelle in them."

"What? The real Lee Noelle? How will a hypocrite like you know anything about me? You've only been here for a few weeks, don't delude yourself that you know me just because you read my diary like a fucking peeping tom!"

Noelle rolled her eyes, her hands balling into fists. His eyes narrowed as she said those words. Clearly he had had enough of her ridiculing. The normal Jeon Jungkook was starting to resurface.

"You don't have the right to call me a hypocrite." He slowly said, his usual scowl deepening.

"What did you say?"

"You heard me. You have no fucking right to call me a hypocrite because you are one too."

His sharp words felt like a stinging slap to her face. Noelle was speechless, astonished by him calling her a hypocrite.

"You pretend to be this perfect star student but you are too scared to even fucking curse in front of others. You live your whole life pretending to be a fake version of yourself others are familiar with because you claim you like that so-called familiarity. Truth is you're just a lost and scared little girl who doesn't even know her true self. And if you keep trudging down this path, you never will."

Those words stung more than anything, even more than the time she had been bitten by a swarm of wasps. The nails digging in her palm broke her skin, drawing blood yet she was rooted in her spot as she listened to his accusations.

When she tried to say something, anything; her throat felt too tight. It felt as if someone had stolen her voice, clogged her throat.

As if his very words were the assailant which were choking her, rendering her speechless.

She felt her vision blur with angry tears yet her stubborn hands felt numb, so much so that she couldn't even will them to comply with her brain and hastily swipe them off from her cheeks.

The figure in front of her blurred too. She could make out that he walked around her and picked up his darned bag from his desk.

For a split insane second she thought that his hand hovered near her cheek but she brushed off the impossible possibility.

Jeon Jungkook was a heartless bastard, and his words had proven the fact loud and clear to Noelle.

If there was anything Noelle knew best, she knew how to run away. To avoid confrontations. Despite the fact that she was the one who had confronted Jungkook and instigated their argument (if you could even call it that) ; it was merely a rare exception to her rule of never confronting people or starting a fight.

So she ran away.

Noelle hurriedly stalked away from the classroom. She didn't even bother to pick up her bag or books, just ambled out of there as fast as she could.

Although she bumped into someone on her way. A musky, woodsy vanilla scent invaded her senses. It was as familiar to her as her brown diary.

"Elle! I was on my way to look for you. Jimin and I were wondering why you were taking so long and..." He stepped away a bit and trailed off, his eyes widening in surprise and concern,

"What happened? Why are you crying?"

Noelle did not reply, just sniffed and shook her head to indicate that she wouldn't like him to ask any questions. She knew Taehyung would respect her privacy even though she could see a hint of curiosity looming behind the worry painted on his face.

He looked behind her, his gaze widening even more. Noelle was sure he saw Jungkook stepping out of their class, she could hear footsteps yet she didn't dare to turn and look.

She couldn't bare to, not when her emotions were such a mess because of the aforementioned boy.

Taehyung's gaze darkened when he recognised the rebel student of Seobeom High, but he didn't comment anything or question her further and for that Noelle was extremely grateful. She didn't trust herself to speak right now.

Placing a gentle hand on her shoulder, he just said,

"Let's get going, Elle or Jimin will ditch us and then we would have to go home by bus. His mom is sending their driver to pick us up right?"

Noelle nodded, following Taehyung back to the library.

On the way, the fact that her books and bag were MIA was pointed out by the curly haired boy, who kindly offered to fetch them from her class and she flashed him a thankful smile but it felt too strained.

Even so, Taehyung just smiled back his boxy grin, the familiarity of it making the chaotic storm of emotions inside her calm down for a bit.

Jungkook didn't know what to do.

It seldom happened, and yet when he had seen tears in the hazel eyes which had started haunting not only dreams but his every waking thought, he felt paralysed with an emotion he couldn't exactly pinpoint.

It wasn't a good feeling.

After the girl almost ran out of the class, her eyes glistening with the salty liquid Jungkook claimed was a turn-off for him for the one thing he despised was girls crying; he felt something claw inside him.

It prompted him to go and follow her. He didn't exactly know what he was going to say, but he just knew he had to follow Noelle, to do something.

It was almost instinctual, how his feet carried him towards the direction where the girl was running off to.

As if someone had tied them both together by an invisible string.

Jungkook shrugged the thought away, deeming it far too sappy for him to handle.

Besides, he was merely following her because he was feeling unsettled with her walking away like that while they were talking.

Right?

"More like arguing." An irritating voice inside him piped in, making the boy scowl.

For some weird reason, it sounded like Park Jimin and the fact irked Jungkook even more.

Just as he stepped out of the now-empty classroom, his eyes landed on her.

But she wasn't alone.

No, that stupid preppy boy from before was with her.

His eyes narrowed when they locked gazes with the aforementioned boy who sent him something akin to a glare.

It infuriated Jungkook, how close the asswit stood near her, how he placed a hand on her shoulder, and his glower directed at the duo was solid proof of the fact.

What made the storm brewing inside him rage further was that Noelle didn't look back. Not even a single glance did she spare in his direction as she walked away with the curly haired boy.

For the next few minutes, Jungkook just stood there like a fucking idiot, not knowing what to do next.

Never had he ever experienced such a befuddling mix of emotions before and he didn't know how to deal with them.

He had accused her of being a hypocrite, of not knowing her own self but he'd be lying if he claimed that he himself wasn't just like her.

Beneath it all, Jeon Jungkook was a lost soul indeed.

Maybe that's why her poems had sparked something inside of him. Maybe that is why the he was so intrigued by the girl. Maybe the fact that both teens were hypocrites and no one knew their true self not even them was why they were kindred spirits.

Some cleared their throat then, breaking Jungkook's train of thoughts. When he saw who it was, his usual scowl deepened several shades, eyes staring down someone he felt himself despising with every cell in his being.

"You're Jungkook right? The new student?" The boy had a deep husky voice, in contrast with his puppy dog face. At least to Jungkook, he resembled an irritating puppy always hovering around Noelle, nevermind if he was one of the best students at Seobeom. 

Jungkook just tilted his head mockingly at the boy, raising an eyebrow; silently asking him what the fuck did he want.

 As much as the mere sight of the boy in front of him irked Jungkook, he was a little bit curious as to what the preppy boy wanted; with him no less. People usually didn't voluntarily seek Jeon Jungkook out or started a conversation with him– the boy was too intimidating for them to do so, even to his own classmates and teacher.

The name tag on his uniform labelled him as Kim Taehyung, yet Jungkook didn't even bother to register the name in his mind. He was just an annoying presence which was often stuck around Lee Noelle.

"I am Kim Taehyung. We are in the same grade." 

"And I have fucking eyes which can read your name. Your point is?" Jungkook pointed his chin towards the name tag pinned on the boy's chest. 

Taehyung's eyes widened a bit at the harsh words but he quickly regained his composure, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek as his eyes narrowed at Jungkook and he said,

"Okay so you want me to get straight to the point right?" You and Noelle, I don't know what transpired between you two a few minutes ago but it's clear you made her cry and I–" 

"What we two talked about is none of your fucking business." Jungkook interrupted him.

 A stony silence which lasted for a few seconds yet felt like an eon elapsed between them as they stared each other down. His looks could burn, Jungkook's glare would've reduced Taehyung to ashes.

Finally, Taehyung broke it by saying,

"But it is my fucking business." It would've felt almost comical to Jungkook that a boy with perfectly starched clothes and shiny polished shoes, a goody-two shoes like Kim Taehyung swore if not for the fact that his tone was dead serious as he continued, 

"It is my business because I have known Noelle since practically forever. She's very special to me and I'll be darned if you think you can make her cry without having to deal with me later."

"The fuck do you mean by that?" Jungkook towered over the boy who was tall too but not as tall as him yet he didn't even flinch or step back. He stared Jungkook down, his glare mirroring the tattooed boy's.

"What do you think I meant?" Taehyung was expressionless as he said those words yet they something seemed taunting.

"Do you have a death wish, asshole?"

Jungkook gritted his teeth as Taehyung turned on his heel and stalked off before he could punch his face and break that sharp jawline of his.

↠↞↠↞⋯⋯⋯↠↞↠↞

A/N

So...I did promise there would be major drama right? *smirks*

It took me a lot of time to write this because I had the whole chapter mapped out in my mind yet when I sat down to write (or type, as in my case) I was drawing a complete blank. 

Yes, writer's block can be a total bitch sometimes. So please pardon me if this chapter wasn't as great as usual because trust me when I say that even more drama is going to happen in the next. (I'll probably update the next one faster than it took me to write this one so stay tuned) 

Anyways, your thoughts on the whole 'Noelle confronting Jk'? And Taehyung and Jk's little testosterone match? *wiggles eyebrows* #Lovetrianglerivalry y'all ;D

Special thanks to @Kim_Knights  and @ScapegraceBangtan for their colossal support. Unnie is my favorite writer and Grace is my favorite dongsaeng on wattpad <3

Also, @allyseuphoria for being the amazing person she is, someone who I can always depend on xx

P.S. - Namjoon being active on weverse yesterday made my day. 

Love,

Milli