025.

N O T I C E : This book includes detailed themes surrounding violence, sex, suicide, abuse, sexual harassment, alcohol, drugs, blood, and other very sensitive topics—all are graphically depicted in this story.

Proceed with notice.

SURPRISE !
i'm so sorry for the major lack
of updates on this book, i know
a lot of you have been asking for
a new chapter so here it is!

&, it's one of the longer chapters too!

don't worry, i won't leave you guys for that long ever again! i'll be more consistent with updating this book as well <33 xoxo

OVER 4000 WORDS !

so buckle up, grab some popcorn, cause this is gonna be a long chapter :)

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LATER THAT SAME DAY, Y/N AWOKE from a brief nap to the sound of her cellphone ringing loudly from her nightstand, her eyes reluctantly opening at the piercing shriek.

This day has been both emotionally and physically exhausting enough to sleep for an entire lifetime.

She groaned, rolling over to slap her hand against her nightstand where her phone buzzed, sliding her finger across the screen to silent the phone call from Millie before pulling it to hover over her face.

Y/N stared at the screen with squinted eyes, seeing the time read 5:48 PM. She had slept for a solid seven or eight hours, which is more sleep then she's had in a while.

She definitely needed and deserved that sleep.

It was still the day of the annual Schnapp Cabin Party of the summer that she's been waiting for.

She couldn't believe that the past few hours all happened in the same day. She was exhausted, but that nap helped a little.

But now, she was debating whether she should even attend.

So much had happened today, with her believing she's had a miscarriage, to then finding out that her child is indeed alive. She was even given the choice to either practically save her child's life, or allow it to die naturally.

What kind of a question is that? What kind of a decision is that for a seventeen year old girl to make?

Y/N groaned tiredly as she rubbed her eyes, remembering the day's event's consisting of seeing her threatened miscarriage this morning, to then going to the hospital with Millie, to then being dropped off by Millie at her house for some rest, like Millie insisted.

She saw her screen's notifications, seeing that Millie had been calling her. She clicked the red missed call button, and brought the phone up to her ear to listen to the rings.

"Girl, I've been calling you for the last ten minutes, what the hell?"

Y/N groaned, rubbing her eyes tiredly.

"Sorry, I was taking a nap. It's been a pretty heavy day, in case you didn't notice."

She could hear Millie laugh at Y/N's signature sarcasm. It meant that Y/N was slowly healing, and turning back to her regular self for the most part.

"I know, sweetheart, I know. But girl, we got a party to go to!"

Y/N could hear Millie's excitement, and honestly, Y/N was beginning to feel excited too.

The thought of unwinding, completely forgetting any of the suffocatingly intense drama that surrounded her life sounded euphoric.

She just wanted to act her age for one night, a seventeen—almost eighteen—year old stupid, crazy, experimental, carefree teenager.

"Yeah, honestly..I am too." Y/N couldn't help but smile a little at the end, her teeth biting the  corner of her lip.

Millie squealed at the other end of the line.

"Alright, I'm gonna come by in like five minutes. I'm just gonna get ready at your house, then we'll go to the party from there."

Y/N smiled excitedly, nodding. "Sounds good, see you then."

As Y/N hung up the phone, a wave of relief washed over her, as if going to the party tonight was all that she needed.
She just needed to feel carefree again, without all these pressures of premature adulthood weighing on her young teenage life.

Tonight, she was going to have fun.

Tonight, she was going to forget all about Finn, her psychotic ex-boyfriend, her first love, and the fact that he is the father of her almost miscarried child.

She was going to forget about going to the hospital for her threatened miscarriage at seventeen years old. She's going to forget all about her not absent yet absent mother.

When Y/N went downstairs to wait for Millie, she saw that her mother was nowhere to be seen. Again.

"Jesus." She shook her head, scoffing.

So much was happening with Y/N, and her mother had no idea.

"Oh, there you are."
The voice startled Y/N, making her jerk as she turned to find her mother come down the stairs.

She hadn't seen her mother since the night where they had the huge argument about Finn.

Y/N watched as her mother walked down the stairs, dressed in a brand new skin tight maroon dress, obviously meant for enhancing her curves.
Her makeup was done fancily, her hair curled to perfection as her feet clicked with her heels.

"You were dead asleep when I came home from work at 2:00 this afternoon." She continued nonchalantly, as if she weren't dressed to impress someone. Her voice held no emotion.

There was still a lot of angry tension between the two.

She reached the bottom of the stairs, walking towards her daughter with an expressionless face.

And for a moment, Y/N actually thought she would stop and ask her daughter why she had tear stained cheeks, or why her eyes were surely pink from previously crying and exhaustion.

But she didn't. She simply briskly walked past her towards the kitchen, getting a glass then opening the fridge to grab the pitcher of water to pour herself a glass of water.

She took a drink and set the now empty cup down on the counter, her red lipstick leaving a mark on the rim.

Y/N watched her every move, eying her disapprovingly. "Where are you going?" She asked, with no emotion.

Marie looked at her with hesitation before it turned into a look of excitement—one that didn't seem like it belonged to Y/N's mother.

It belonged to a woman so blinded by the desperation to be loved by a man again, and in doing so, neglected her daughter.

"Oh, just on a date with a friend. His name's James, the one I've been talking to for a few months now."
Marie spoke as if it were an exciting secret that Y/N would enjoy gossiping with her about.

But Y/N's face stayed blank and uninterested.

You're going on a date with a man you've never seen before, and you've been online only a few months ago? And you're going alone, looking like that?

"Okay." Y/N looked down at the ground before up at her mother across the room.

So they weren't going to address the argument they had last night? Good to know how much her mother cared.

"There's food in the fridge you can heat up for dinner. I won't be home until late tonight." Her mother gesture towards the fridge, her tone level.

Y/N couldn't believe that her mother wouldn't at least bring it up. She was her mother for god's sake. She was the one who was supposed to address this, not her teenage daughter.

But at this point, what would be the point in doing so? If her mother didn't care enough, why try either?

"Okay." She muttered, uninterested.

"What are you doing tonight?" Marie asked, as if she actually were concerned. Y/N shrugged.

"Don't know." She brushed it off, trying to end the conversation.

If her mother were going to be out all night, there would be no point in telling her about the party. It wasn't like she'd actually care, anyways.

Marie nodded awkwardly, going through her clutch for a few extra dollars to place it on the counter before she slung the chain on her shoulder where it hung.

"For pizza, if you want that instead."

The guilt that ate away at Marie for last night's confrontation was in full effect at this point, thinking that a few extra bucks for pizza were a peace offering.

Y/N didn't answer.

"Well, I'm gonna get going. See you when I get home?" Marie began to make her way to the door, Y/N following behind the lock the door.

Y/N was silent for a moment, before deciding to say, "Sure."

Bye, Mom. Love you, have fun, Y/N almost said.

Goodbye, I love you too, sweetie.
Is what Y/N wished her mother would say instead. But Marie's stubbornness would never admit her being wrong like that. 

Her mother gave her a thin smile as she walked out the door, one last smile before Y/N closed the door behind her without another glance.

She was so tired of this. She was tired of this stress and tension.

She was determined to make tonight as fun as she could for herself. She was going to be a carefree teenager tonight, and she was going to have fun.

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Millie arrived at her house not more than five minutes later, her smile wide and her hands full of bags of what seemed to be her makeup, hair supplies, and a couple outfits to choose from.

Together they helped each other with their makeup, Millie adding mild eyeliner and mascara as well as a shimmering rose gold eyeshadow with a shadowy brown in her crease.
Millie added a few brushes of highlighter to Y/N's cheekbones, lighting up her entire face.

"Done!" Millie chirped, setting her brushes on Y/N's makeup vanity before turning back to flash a smile.

Y/N turned to look at herself in the mirror, surprisingly not entirely hating the way she looked.
She looked really pretty, the way her eyelashes curled above the shimmering eyeshadow that made her eyes really stand out.

"Wow, you did a really good job, Mills. I actually really love it." Y/N smiled as she turned her head from side to side.

Millie clapped her hands. "Good. Now, lipstick?" She offered, earning a side glare from Y/N. She hated wearing too much makeup, she found it irritating at times.

"Don't push it." Y/N joked, reaching for some chapstick instead, but then paused, considering Millie's words.

If she was really gonna have fun tonight and unwind, why not do it while trying new things?

Why not branch out, and step out of her comfort zone?

Y/N then turned to Millie with a relaxed expression. "Maybe..maybe a subtle one. Not too much, you know?"

Millie's face lit up, nodding eagerly as she reached for a light peachy, pinky shade of lipstick to uncap it to gently apply it to Y/N's lips.

When she was finished, Y/N smiled, showing off her new finished makeup look. She looked at herself in the mirror, and surprisingly didn't regret putting on the lipstick.

"Now, let's get dressed." Millie smiled widely, walking over to the pile of clothes on Y/N's bed.

Y/N slipped on her outfit that she bought at H&M yesterday, the black lace-trimmed tank top settling just above her bellybutton.
It was hugging her body perfectly to enhance her curves as well as her high waisted jeans.

It looked like a casually hot outfit to be worn to a party, and it really came together.

She took a looked at herself in the mirror, from her white vans, to her jeans, to her lacy tank top, to her makeup, all the way to her curled hair.

Y/N thought that she actually looked..

"Girl, you look hot!" Millie exclaimed, her eyes wide with surprise that Y/N didn't seem to be too uncomfortable. "Guys are gonna wish they had a chance with you."

"Thanks." Y/N smiled, actually agreeing with Millie. She felt confident, she felt pretty, she felt like a normal teenager. "But what about you, that dress is super cute."

Millie spun herself around, displaying the white tieback mini dress, showing off just enough of her skin. Her hair put up in a lazy yet well put together bun, and a bright shade of red upon her lips. "What do you think? Too much, too little?"

"Mills, you look really good!" Y/N assured, smiling genuinely.

"Thanks." Millie ducked her head as a thank you. "Let's get going, the party starts at 8:00 and it's already.." She paused to pick up her phone. "Shit, it's already 7:30. Whoops."

They laughed as they both gathered just their phones to bring, adding final adjustments to their outfits with jewelry.

"Alright, ready?" Millie asked, sliding in one of her earrings as she walked towards Y/N's door.

Y/N nodded, checking herself one more time. "Yeah just let me grab something real quick."

Millie nodded, leaving the room. Y/N turned towards her dresser, her eyes landing on the top drawer where her socks laid.
She walked over to open the drawer to sift through her socks and underwear, originally searching for some rings she had misplaced to wear.

She wanted to wear them to be prepared to punch Jack in case he decided to make an appearance at the party and cause trouble with her.
Jack Grazer was Noah Schnapp's best friend, so it would make sense that Jack would be at the party tonight. Although they were best friends with each other, Noah wasn't nearly as bad as Jack was.

Noah was actually a good guy, genuine and nice to Y/N.
He would always at least try to stop Jack from being a dick, and if he was one anyways, Noah would always apologize for him.
He was friends with Jack because he's known him for years, and he was a different person to Noah.

That's the only reason why Y/N was going to the party, which was because Noah invited her, and Y/N wanted to see him.

But if Jack or anyone decides to pull anything stupid with Y/N, she's not having it. She was not going to let Jack, or anyone else ruin her fun tonight.

This newfound sense of confidence arose inside her, and she loved it. She embraced it fully.

She found the glittering rings, sliding them on a select few of her fingers, and was about to slide the drawer closed before her eyes landed on a small box. It was very small, no bigger than her palm.

Her eyes widened as they fixated on the small box of cigarettes. They weren't hers, but instead belonged to Finn.

He must've left them there after they slept together for the first time, and they had to clean up her room to divert suspicion so he just shoved them in her drawer.

Her eyes glistened at the sight, her fingers reaching to skim them across the box, pulling it up to get a closer look. She lifted the box to her nose, the smell reminding her of Finn.

It was painful. And yet, as much as she hated to admit it, it comforted her.

"Y/N? Come on, girl we're gonna be too late!"

Y/N jerked at the sound of Millie's shouts coming from downstairs, sending a brief panic before Y/N shoved Finn's cigarettes in her pocket. "Alright, alright!"

She made her way downstairs to meet Millie at the bottom of the staircase, eagerly waiting to leave. "You ready?"

Y/N nodded. "Yeah, let's go."

They both made their way towards the front door, Y/N taking a glance behind her to make sure she didn't forget anything.

Her eyes landed on the cup that her mother left with her lipstick stained on the rim, along with the cash next to it. A flicker of regret flashed through her for not trying to make up with her mom, but that soon faded.

Tonight, she wasn't gonna give a damn.

Tonight, she was going to forget everything, and just enjoy herself.

As they walked out to Millie's car, the sun's setting orange glowed on their faces. They got in her car, Millie chattering away about how many hot guys will be at the party, or how many guys are gonna be trying to hit on Y/N.

But as Y/N chuckled at Millie's enthusiasm, she took a glance out her window as Millie pulled out of the driveway.

Y/N stared at Finn's house basking in the sun setting light, a twinge of fear sent through her for a brief moment. She was supposed to be attending the party with Finn as a couple, but obviously, plans had changed.

But those feelings soon faded into a feeling of freedom. She quickly forgot about everything, focusing on relaxing tonight.

Her hand subconsciously went to her pocket where the box of Finn's cigarette sat, a sense of comfort washing over her once more.

Tonight, she was going to have a good time.

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Finn stood in front of his mirror, examining the way he looked.

He unbuttoned a few of buttons at the top of his black button up shirt, before he smoothed out his jeans and adjusted his black and white vans.
He ran a hand through his curly hair, having put mousse in it to make his curls look better.

He gave himself a once-over before turning to check the time on his phone, which read 7:41, just under twenty minutes to get to the cabin party.

He knew Y/N would be there, which was why he was attending. Instead of crying himself to death like he had been doing for the entire day, and rereading his journal entries, he decided to just talk everything out.

He just wanted to apologize for everything.

He came to the revelation, that he wasn't who he used to be.

He wasn't the brooding, dark and violent guy that he used to be at his old school.
He wasn't that same guy that would be so desperate that he'd kill to get his way.
He wasn't the same guy that would blackmail a girl's best friend just so he could get closer to the girl.

He wasn't that guy anymore. He's changed for the better, and he's now more in touch with his conscience. He's changed for the better for
Y/N.

Y/N made him into the better person he was now.

And he needed her to know that what Millie told her about him, was the old him. That's not who he was anymore.

And he needed Y/N to know. He needed to apologize.
If it meant for him to beg for her forgiveness, on his hands and knees begging, then he would.

He needed to see her.
So with a bold determination, he grabbed the keys to his car to slid into the ignition, and went on his way to the party.

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"Are you sure this is the right way?" Y/N joked, looking over at Millie driving as she focused on the dirt trail that weaved through the forest trees.
The sun set cast its orange glow through the leaves, making beautiful shadows on their faces.

They were driving through the trail that the GPS led her on, it saying that this was the way to Noah's cabin.
He had made this huge deal about his parents being away for the weekend, so he wanted to have this big party to celebrate the end of the school year.

In his fancy, rich-ass cabin on a really nice lake.

"Ah, see? Here it is. Just like Siri said."
It wasn't but a few minutes away from the main road, so it was relatively easy to find the cabin.

As Millie parked with the bunches of other cars that belonged to some of their other friends, they watched as the cabin pulsated with energy in the multi-colored lit house.

There was a bunch of people inside and standing around outside, all holding the signature red solo cups as they mingled.
Y/N recognized most of the people from school, so she felt a bit more at ease that she'd know people.

Millie pulled her keys out of her ignition, making the car's hum quiet until they sat in the silent car. She turned in her seat to face Y/N with an excited yet serious look.

"Alright, we're clear on the rules?" Millie raised an eyebrow. Y/N chuckled, nodding.

"No leaving my cup unattended, don't ride home with anyone I don't know or trust, and if any guys give me any trouble I either yell for you or beat the shit out of them without you."

Y/N relayed their usual rules they made for whenever they went out together, and Millie nodded in agreement.

"Yes, and if you see Jack or Finn—.."

"I won't let either of those assholes ruin my night. If I see either one of them, their asses are toast."
Y/N promised with such venomous poise, that Millie widened her eyes with respect.

"I think we're ready then." She smiled excitedly, and I nodded back.

She turned to open her car door, stepping out and shutting the door behind her, leaving Y/N alone for just a second. She took a deep breath, preparing herself for tonight.

She mentally shook off all the stress that's accumulated, and exhaled with relief.
"Here we go." She muttered to herself before opening the car door to get out and shut it behind her and joined Millie at the front of her car.

Millie looped her arm through Y/N's as they began to make their way to the front of the cabin, already running into people they knew.

"Hey, Mills, glad you could make it!"

"Bobby Brown, L/N how've you been?"

"L/N, glad you came!"

Y/N immediately smiled and beamed at everyone of her friends she's missed so much. It seemed like a lifetime since she last saw them, and she missed going to class with them.

She was already laughing with Millie and her other friends as they made it up the steps of the cabin and onto the porch before they entered the main center of the party inside.

The music was loud, and the lights flickered with different lights all around. It seemed like a very nice cabin, if it had not been swarmed by messy teenagers.

There was the kitchen area where some of her friends were doing shots and drinking games, just laughing. There was the back porch area with bulb lights that led down to the river, people already swimming.

Then there was the living room area where everyone laughed and spoke while sharing drinks, with the occasional couple making out furiously.

It only reminded Y/N of Finn, so she quickly looked away. She was tired of that.

The party looked like everyone was having a lot of fun, and she couldn't wait to join in.

Her eyes searched the crowd for Noah, glancing until she found him at the pool table across the living room, where he yelled in victory at making a good shot.

"Mills." Y/N slightly yelled over the music, leaning in towards Millie's ear as she spoke to another friend. Millie turned to look at Y/N.

"I'm gonna go say hey to Noah, let him know we're here." Y/N slightly yelled again with a small smile while she pointed across the room at Noah.

Millie followed her finger's direction, seeing Noah, then nodded with a smile. "Call or come get me if you need me." Y/N nodded before she broke away from Millie.

She made her way through the thick crowd of people, occasionally stopping to say hi to friends or hearing her name being called to say hey.

She looked up to see Noah still at the pool table, just a couple feet away.
She was about to yell his name to say hey, before another voice interrupted her.

"Y/N..?"

The familiar voice struck a nerve inside her, already making her uneasy before she could even identify who the voice belonged to over the loud music.

She was almost about to ignore the voice before the person placed a hand gently to her shoulder to get her attention.

This time, she turned around with a huff, expecting to see someone else that wanted to say hi, or maybe even Finn if he came.

But it was definitely not either of those.

Her eyes widened at the sight of his surprisingly gentle brown eyes from underneath his curls, one eye with blackened skin around.
There were several cuts and bruises around his face, and from the looks of it, on his lips as well.

The wounds looked fairly new.

But the way he looked so gentle, was just so foreign.

She had never seen him look as humbled or exhausted, or this calmly composed as he did right now, and it was completely different to see him this way.

She exhaled as she realized who it was.

"Jack."

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Author's Note :

BRUVVVV THAT WAS A LONG ASS CHAPTER

i hope this long chapter made up for not updating in a little while :(

finallyyyy we made it to the schnapp cabin!!

sooo..jack is alive. but..

WHY DOES JACK SEEM SO DIFFERENT??

IS FINN GONNA CONFRONT Y/N?

WHO IS MARIE TRYNA SEE??

  but what did you think?? let me know!!

there's some crazy shit coming up.

thanks for reading,
let me know what
you think about this story.. <3

stay tuned.. ;))

PUBLISHED
August 14, 2020
at 10:46 PM

4296 words.

now, i'm gonna go read my stephen king book, ( the institute ) & wait to see your comments because i love them :)  xoxo