024.

N O T I C E : This book includes detailed themes surrounding violence, sex, suicide, abuse, sexual harassment, alcohol, drugs, blood, and other very sensitive topics—all are graphically depicted in this story.

Proceed with notice.

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IT WAS WITH SLUGGISH YET BOLD DETERMINATION, that Y/N finally temporarily gathered herself to get ready for where she was about to go.

She had called Millie, and asked her to go with her to where she wanted to go.
Y/N needed this closure, and if it couldn't be done with her own mother, then she would want it to be done with her best friend.

Her mind was clouded as walked into the bathroom reluctantly, almost fearful of seeing the same blood she saw earlier still in the toilet bowl.
She bit the inside of her cheek as she turned on the light to look at herself in the mirror.

Her eyes were dully red and puffed from sobbing until she couldn't anymore.
Her face looked exhausted, physically and emotionally. Her hair was put up in a lazy pony tail, small strands flicked in wayward directions.

She looked terribly enervated.

Who was she? Who was this person staring back at her?

She swallowed her thoughts for now before sliding her shower glass door open to run the shower water.
She then mindlessly stripped herself of her pajamas, dropping them to the ground to as she opened the shower glass door to step inside, sliding it closed behind her.

She stepped into the comforting water, it's warmth immediately soaking through her body and calming her nerves as it sleeked her body.

Y/N allowed her eyes to close and her head to tilt up and face the shower's stream face first, allowing the water to run all over her features.
She clenched her eyes shut, every time she shut her eyes, all she could see was red.

Red.

Red.

Red.

Her own blood.

This was killing her. It was absolutely consuming her.

Her hands ran up to rub the water from her eyes, tilting her head out of the shower's stream to surrender to her thoughts.

She had no one left except her unborn child ; she wanted to have it, she wanted to give it unconditional love.

This wasn't just any child, this would have been her first child.

The child who's father was the first man she really fell in love with, and although she didn't want to admit it, she wanted to keep the child to love and to remind her of the love she had for Finn.

She didn't even know the gender, she didn't even know if she was going to have a daughter or a son.

Her child was all she had left.

And she lost it.

She had a miscarriage, and lost it. Just like she lost everything else in her fucked up life.

She lost the only source of hope that was left for her. She lost the only glimmer of happiness.

She lost it all.

She lost her best friend to fear, she lost her mother, and now, she lost her unborn child who was never even given a chance at life.

Why? Why her?

Y/N was so young, she was only 17, and she had already lost a child, and everything else important to her.

She hadn't realized tears were streaming down her face, mixing with the shower's water as she ran her hands stressfully over her eyes ; trying to catch her breath as she hiccuped through her tears.

She had to do this. She had to go and get the definite answers for herself.

She finished her shower, mindlessly washing herself as she rinsed and got out to dry herself with a towel.

She got out to dry and put her hair up, and got dressed silently, never looking up from the ground, and her tears never completely dried from her eyes.

She haphazardly pulled her white hoodie over her head to pull it on, smoothing out the fabric before she walked over to slip on her shoes.

Her thoughts and fears suffocated her as she tried to think of reasons to avoid going with Millie today, but she couldn't back out now.

She sniffled, reaching her hoodie sleeve to wipe her eyes. She needed to pull it together.

Millie had offered to set up an appointment with the doctor in a way so that Marie wouldn't get any medical bills under Y/N's name. So basically, Millie was paying for this visit.

Y/N needed the closure. She needed to know that if her assumptions are correct, then she needs to deliver the news to Finn as well.

How? She doesn't know. She debated not telling him at all, if there was something to tell anyways.

With a deep inhale, Y/N turned off the bathroom light to exit her room, grabbing her phone and wallet before checking the screen to see that Millie said she was waiting for her outside on her driveway.

Y/N made her way through the house to the living room, passing by the empty kitchen with the coffee maker still turned on, keeping the half empty pitcher of black coffee heated.

Her mother must've left not to long ago to go to her office job, leaving Y/N alone as usual.

A part of Y/N wished that her mother was there that morning, just sitting there drinking her coffee while she worked on her laptop, and occasionally glancing up at her to just check on her.

She needed her mother's support now than ever.

But she couldn't. Not until she knew what to tell her.

Y/N exited through her front door with a sigh, locking it behind her to see Millie's car waiting for her in the driveway.

With an exhale, she made her way to the car, getting inside to sit down with a huff. No words were exchanged.

There wasn't anything to be said. Yet.

And they didn't say anything, the car was silent as they drove to the clinic not 15 minutes away, and parked.
  They then walked across the parking lot, the summer sun already scorching on them as they squinted in the sun's light.

They entered the small building's automatic glass doors, allowing the ac to blow into their faces upon entry.

It was only a few steps that took them to the small, quiet waiting room as Millie went to check into the front desk, under her name.
  Y/N walked to sit in a chair, fiddling with her fingers in the waiting area with the occasional whine from a small child to their mother.

Y/N looked up, seeing a little boy, about 4 years old, bouncing in place in front of his mother, telling her of a wild story that he's made to fit the backstory of his action figures.

The mother nodded, trying her best to understand her son's stories, but ultimately failing as she seemed preoccupied due to her worried facial features.

The son seemed to understand his mother's distress, because he stopped his bouncing to then walk forward to his mother.
  He reached his small hands forward to place them gently on either side of his mother's face, staring into her eyes with the upmost love.

"It will all be okay, mommy," He whispered soothingly, his small hands now being held by his mother's as they cupped her tear-stained cheeks.

"I will be okay. The doctors are just checking up on me, I will be okay!" He soothed, his own optimism seeming to cheer his mother up.

Y/N found her lips smiling softly, yet sympathetically as she watched the son jump to tackle his mother in a hug, the woman holding onto her son tightly.

Y/N didn't know what was wrong with the son that his mother was so worried about, but she felt as though it was almost a sign.

"Y/N/N.."

She wished that all she had to say, was, 'it would be okay,' and everything would be okay.

"Y/N.."

She wished that she didn't even have to be at the hospital getting treated for a miscarriage.

"Y/N."

A hand was placed on Y/N's shoulder, snapping her back to reality as she looked up to the source of the voice.

"They're ready for you."

Millie smiled sympathetically down at Y/N, her eyes then turning to look at the doctor who awaited her with a clipboard in hand.

Y/N's lips formed a line, standing up from her seat before taking one more look at the mother and son.
The strength between a mother and their child was incredibly beautiful.

Y/N mourned at her loss of the chance on having such a bond with her own child.

Her legs found themselves subconsciously walking her over to meet the doctor, their smile and words seemed to be tuned out as she couldn't believe what she was doing.

She couldn't believe that she was actually currently being led to a hospital room to be checked on post-miscarriage.

I'm only 17. I'm just a teenager.

"Alright, you can go ahead and have a seat right there, ma'am."

What the hell am I doing here?

Millie's hand lured Y/N from her thoughts, now seeing that she was inside a darkened room, a large recliner chair center with a computer next to it where the doctor now sat.

The room smelled of hand sanitizer and clean disinfectant, as most hospitals did.
It made Y/N feel queasy, and uneasy.

"Take a seat, hun." Millie smiled softly, helping Y/N to sit down at the reclined chair before sitting down next to her.

Y/N leaned back, her eyes glazing around the room's walls that were filled with posters of pregnancy stages and diagrams of the stages of fetal development.

"Alright," The doctor began once she was situated, rolling her chair closer to Y/N with a clipboard in hand, " Ms L/N, correct?"

"Yes ma'am." Y/N nodded quietly.

The doctor smiled. "I'm Dr. Decker."

She then proceeded to ask the normal checkup questions, including her date of birth to reveal her young age, to which Dr. Decker seemed sympathetically surprised.
She apologized, and gave her regards due to
Y/N's miscarriage, to which Y/N quickly brushed it off.

"Okay, we're just gonna do an ultrasound to see if your uterus is completely empty after this morning." Decker explained softly, her voice perfectly intoned to deliver the blow softly.

Y/N remained mute as she mindlessly lifted her shirt just above her stomach, allowing Decker to place the clear gel atop her lower belly.

Where her child would've been growing..

Decker placed the probe gently yet firmly atop Y/N's lower stomach, gliding it to find her uterus as her eyes stared at the screen.

Y/N turned away from the screen, not able to bare to see whatever horrific bloody sight was inside her now empty uterus.
She looked to see Millie looking down at her sympathetically, reaching to brush a few strands from Y/N's exhausted face. "It'll be okay, hun. You'll be okay."

Was it?  Y/N nodded without a thought, her mind just clouded.

"Hmm." Decker suddenly spoke up ; Y/N saw Millie perk up in attention as she tried to stare at the screen.

"What is it?" Millie asked for Y/N, seeing as though she turned away to avoid looking.

Decker was silent for a moment, her eyebrows furrowed as she stared at the screen intensely.

"I'm not quite sure how," Decker began, "but I'm picking up a heartbeat."

Y/N's eyes widened, her mouth slightly opening in surprise as she turned to look at the doctor who seemed engaged with her screen.

Holy shit..

Decker continued the moving of the probe along Y/N's stomach, seeming focused.

Please..

"W-What? What does that mean?" Y/N stuttered nervously.

Decker exhaled, not quite understanding herself. Until she finally halted in moving the probe along Y/N's abdomen.

"Well, it would seem that I've found the amniotic fluids surrounding the fetus, which is exerting a pulse as the baby's heartbeat." Decker explained, occasionally turning to look at Y/N's vulnerably confused expression.

"So, seeing that I've found the heartbeat, it would seem that the blood you exerted that you saw this morning, wasn't the result of a complete miscarriage, but was in fact the result of a threatened miscarriage."

Her baby was still alive.

Y/N turned to look at Millie with hopeful eyes as if she were going to answer all her subconscious questions. She didn't seem to have any words.

"What exactly does that mean?" Millie asked again.

That there's still a chance.

"What Y/N experienced, was a bit of abnormal bleeding, while the pregnancy still continues. But it's a bit tricky because there is still the threat that a full miscarriage could carry out if she doesn't receive prescribed medications to help the pregnancy along."

There's still a chance.

Decker was now facing Y/N, her features softened with empathy. This was a heavy topic, that ultimately came with a heavy decision.

Y/N placed a hand over her forehead, stress overwhelming her as she actually thought she had caught a break.
What was she supposed to do?

What would she tell Finn? Would she even tell Finn at all?

"I understand that this is an important decision, and at such a complicated age.
However, there is a chance we can help the pregnancy to success, or, if it is a better alternative, we can simply leave the miscarriage to carry out naturally at anytime in the near future."

Y/N exhaled with disbelief, leaning her head back down on the chair as she stared at the ceiling.
She was somehow relieved that her child was still alive, yet she was still utterly confused.

Her child was still alive.

Was it better for her to continue through her pregnancy, or was it better to allow the natural miscarriage to happen?

She could either take medication to help the pregnancy continue to be carried out full term, or, she could refuse the medication, and allow the threatened possibility of an actual miscarriage to occur.

Although she was presented this miraculous occurrence, she didn't know how to react.
She was still very much numb, but the possibility of seeing through her pregnancy to keep her unborn child was incredibly fascinating.

Her baby. Her unborn baby.

Yet her life wasn't exactly made fit for a child. She was so scared. She was so confused.

What the hell was she supposed to do?

But deep down, she knew her decision was already made.

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Author's Note :

i know this chapter was kinda confusing, sorry.

but i researched it a little bit, & threatened miscarriages are an actual occurrence, so..figured i'd give you guys a little hope ;)

!!  it's a pretty interesting addition to the future plot, & potential sequel to this book 🤭

  but what did you think?? let me know!!

so, finally, the schnapp cabin will be HAPPENING NEXT CHAPTER !!

like i said for real now :

there's some crazy shit coming up.

!! intense drama is coming your way soon.. so be prepared.  ;)

thanks for reading, let me know what you think about this story.. <3

stay tuned.. ;))

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