022.

N O T I C E : This book includes detailed themes surrounding violence, sex, suicide, abuse, sexual harassment, alcohol, drugs and blood—all are graphically depicted in this story.

Proceed with notice.

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THE MOMENT THOSE WORDS left Finn's mouth, an instant wave of regret washed over him. What the hell was he thinking? He just wanted Y/N to know how upset he was, he never meant for that to slip out of his mouth.

He only realized the entire meaning and heaviness of this sentence when he saw Marie's surprised almost horrified face staring at him.

But he wasn't entirely upset that it did.

At least Y/N will now understand how upset I am.. he thought to himself.

He thought that what he said justified his actions, when deep down, his conscience told him he made a grave mistake.

Marie's groceries fell out of her hands, spilling the contents all over the walkway and porch. A glass bottle of wine dropped, the sound of shattering glass echoed as the liquid poured everywhere.

Finn's jaw was dropped, much like Y/N's mother. Finn didn't know what else to do, except instantly picking up the spilt contents to put back into the bags.
He tried his best to pick up the glass as well, only failing as he cut up his hand a little bit in the process.

Marie simply watched Finn's movements on the ground. She was absolutely livid.

"Here you go." Finn offered the now cleaned up contents, the bag full again as he extended it out for Marie to take. He couldn't help but feel bad.

"Mom, are you okay, are you—.." Y/N burst through the front door, having heard the loud sound of glass shattering. She froze, seeing Finn standing there with a 'deer in headlights' look.

With a blank stare, Marie took the bag from Finn's hand, watching as he still stood there.
He may have already screwed himself over at the chances of talking to Y/N, but he was still standing his ground.

For some reason, he thought there was still a chance.

He stared past Marie at Y/N as she stood on the porch, her guard was up in case he tried to do anything. He desperately wanted to speak with her now, especially after what he stupidly told her mother.

"Finn?" Marie spoke up, rather calmly as she shifted the grocery bags in her arms. Finn's gaze snapped from Y/N to look at Marie nervously.

He stared back, seeing Marie's stern death glare being shot at him. He stood uncertainly, his fists clenched at his side with nervousness.

"Get the hell away from my house," She seethed, her facial expression was obviously irritated, but her tone was calm. "Before I call the police."

It was a calm tone that was only achieved when one was purely enraged.

Finn was taken aback, swallowing nervously as he looked back behind Marie to take a glance at Y/N. She stood there, her arms crossed as she looked irritatedly conflicted.
She was torn, but so obviously didn't want to see Finn at that moment.

"I'm—.."

"Now." Marie demanded, stepping to the side to prevent Finn from seeing Y/N behind her.

Finn backed away, ducking his head with shame. He knew he screwed up, but the rush of adrenaline prompted him to keep talking, and he regretted it.
But, if it meant that Y/N finally understood his frustration, then perhaps it was worth it.

He backed up, looking to the ground before turning to walk away, hands in pockets as he turned the corner to walk to his house and  to disappeared from their view.

Marie let out a relieved exhale, turning around to then see Y/N standing there as well.

"Thank you, I've been telling him-.." Y/N began, only to be cut off by her mother.

"Inside." Marie demanded, her voice still as stern as it was a moment ago, "Now."

Y/N stopped talking, tensing for a moment before turning to comply with her mother's say so, walking inside to wait for her mother inside.

Marie walked over to the kitchen area, setting down the groceries on the counter before planting her palms flat against the countertop, hanging her head as she shook it disbelievingly.

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows, "Mom..?"

"Just go upstairs." Marie shoved her off, as if she couldn't fathom what had happened.

She had just heard that her daughter had lost her virginity with a guy she had never even introduced her to.
And the guy that her daughter slept with sure didn't seem like 'boyfriend of the year' material.

They may have been arguing for a while, and they might not have been on the best of terms, but that didn't give Y/N the right to do what she did without at least telling her mother.

But how could she if Marie was never around?

How could Marie even act like a mother if she was never around her own child?

Y/N was confused, and paranoid as to what her mother was so upset about. But either way, she listened, and began her descent upstairs to leave her mother with her thoughts.

Her room seemed quiet, a thick tension in the air as if there was a warning that something was about to happen. She went to go sit on the edge of her bed, looking down at her hands as she thought over everything.
Y/N could get that Finn would at least try to get to her through her mother, but she didn't know what Finn said to make her mother that shaken up.

Y/N didn't have to wait long before she heard the sound of footsteps approaching her room, giving a slight knock before pushing the door open anyways.

She looked empathetically upset, and Y/N didn't understand why as she looked up to meet her gaze from her bed. She was worried.

"Y/N." She exhaled stressfully, walking over and making slow paces in front of her daughter as she sat on the edge of her bed.

Marie sighed before she stopped pacing, her hands on her hips as she stood in front of Y/N.

"You're 17 years old, you're about to turn 18 and go to college. I get that you want to try new things, believe me, I do." Marie began, her arms moving to cross over her chest.

Y/N didn't understand where this was going. She could tell that her mother was upset, but she didn't know the entirety of it.

"W-What are you trying to say?" Y/N asked, squinting her eyes.

"Y/N, you should have let me know you were interested in Finn that way, that way I could've gotten you on birth control." Marie exhaled sharply, pinching the bridge of her nose.

Y/N's face drained itself of its color, her eyes widened and her cheeks flushed with embarrassment as flashbacks of hers and Finn's night shot through her mind.

His body on top of hers, his fingers skimming over her skin while sending goosebumps down her arms.

"Oh my god.." Y/N pressed her palm to her forehead stressfully, now knowing exactly what Finn must've told her mother to make her this upset. That douchebag.

"We've had this talk, did we not?" Marie rested her hands on her hips. "You at least used protection, right?"

Y/N stiffened, her eyes flickering to her stomach before back at her mom as her eyes were closed with nervous anticipation of Y/N's answer.

No. I didn't, because I was stupid.
I'm pregnant, with Finn's child, and I'm scared because I don't know what I'm going to do.
I'm scared, and I need your help, mom.

I need you to actually act like my mom for just a minute. 
Y/N wished she could say that, but she couldn't find it in herself to do so.

She couldn't find her mother to be helpful to her at all.

"Yes, mom. Jesus, of course I did." Y/N prompted to answer that instead. She knew she would have to tell her soon enough, but she didn't think she could do it at that moment.

"Good," Marie exhaled with relief. "Because with all the different forms of protection out there, it would just be sheer laziness to not use it at all."
Marie added, her irritation showed again, but more as if she was talking to a friend instead of her daughter.

Y/N nodded dismissively, eager to brush off this conversation before she completely broke down.

She was beginning to become angry at her mother for all of a sudden taking an interest in her life, as if she cared. She hadn't even talked to Y/N more than 5 minutes in the last couple months.

The thought of Y/N being pregnant and a little life growing inside her at that moment meant the world to her, and she didn't need her mother to find out yet.

"I still can't believe you didn't tell me." Marie scoffed, shaking her head while pressing her tongue to her inner cheek. "I can't believe you, that was a stupid move on your part, you understand that?"

That was it. Like a switch, Y/N turned bitter and resentful, the same emotions she felt when her mother hit her .

All the pent up anger she had towards her mother for months just resurfaced. She knew this would happen, and it was happening at the worst time, but she couldn't control it anymore.

"How could I tell you?" Y/N retorted, she was now upset at how Marie could seriously start playing the mother card on all this. "You're never around anymore."

Marie's eyes widened with disbelief, glaring a disapproving glare at Y/N. "I'm your mom, don't talk to me like that."

"Oh please," Y/N glared, "Yeah, some mom you are, you don't talk to me, you don't even acknowledge my presence, and you're never home!" Y/N exclaimed, her voice was etched with her anger.

Marie furrowed her eyebrows with pique. "Oh, stop! You're being overdramatic, and conveniently forgetting that you were the one that began to ignore me in the first place, and that began your bratty silent treatment."

Pin the blame, pin the blame.

All this anger that Y/N and Marie had against each other since that night a few months back was dangerously high, and now, it was being unleashed at the worst time.

Y/N scoffed, looking to the side before looking back at her mom and standing up.

"Yeah, I did because I'm the stupid teenager. You're the parent, parents aren't supposed to be giving their own kid the silent treatment like a child because they're too afraid to confront what they've done!"

The room fell silent.

Y/N breathed heavily as she stared at her mother daringly, just waiting for her next move.
"And it's all because of some stupid guy online..it's all because of him." She muttered quietly under her breath, referring to her mother's absence from home.

"That is none of your goddamn business!"
Marie shouted, her face flushed a red, definitely remembering what she had done that night when they first got into an argument.

She couldn't admit it, so she buried it, and pinned blame on her daughter. It's Y/N's fault she had an outburst. It's her fault she made me upset enough to hit her.

It's my fault. It's my fault that I'm becoming the very person who broke me all those years ago. Marie wanted to shout that out to her, but couldn't.

Y/N's mother had changed. She was different, and she was right. She was different because of the man she became so obsessed with.

She so desperately wanted to feel loved again, that she changed herself for him, and she was too far gone to realize it.

"I can't believe you." Marie licked her lips irritatedly.

Y/N looked up at her mother with shocked watery eyes, as if she didn't expect to get this little of a response from her. This isn't my mother anymore.

Whoever she's been talking to online, and meeting, has been influencing her.
Because every time she hears a word from her mother's mouth, it's not her own. It sounds just like her father's. 

My mother is gone, and she's been replaced by a mindless wannabe whose completely submitted herself to whatever man she was dating, and a woman whose too foolish to know what she's done.

"And I can't believe you're acting like you actually care." Y/N muttered under her breath, looking down at the carpeted floors with watery eyes.

Marie shuttered anxiously, looking down at her hands while she fiddled with a decorative ring.
She knows how wrong she is, and she felt like she let her daughter down.

But she would never admit that. Of course she wouldn't.

This isn't who she wanted to become. Marie didn't want to become her ex-husband, and be so quick to pin the blame on anyone else but herself.

But she has, and she already ruined everything.

But she didn't care as much as she should have.

This just goes to show how little Y/N saw Marie over the past couple months. She was an entirely new person.

"Y/N.." Marie whispered, almost as if she just wanted to cover up this entire conversation, and bury it again. Dismiss it, like it never happened.

"Mom, don't." Y/N peeped, her voice shaky with her quivering tears. She could feel herself about to cry, but she couldn't let her mother see.
"Please just..leave."

Marie stopped her pushing, nodding slowly as she turned her body to begin walking towards the door of her room.
She stopped at the doorway, turning to take a quick look at Y/N's heartbroken state, and left.

Y/N instantly broke down, her tears trickling out of her eyes to soak her cheeks with her sorrow.

Her hands shook as she held them to her face, grasping at her head to compose herself. She's never felt so hurt, so stressed, so broken before in her life. My mother is gone.

It was then that Finn fully realized the true epitome of what he had done to his first love as he watched her break apart from his bedroom window.

His heart shattered at the sight.

There was still common sense embedded deep within his mind, but it was buried, and by the time he realized his mistakes, it was too late.

Finn wished he could go and comfort Y/N, he wished he never hurt her, he wished he still had her.
He reached a hand to press against his window, frustrated with himself as his hand grew to a fist.

How could he have been so stupid? How could he do this? He buried his head into his cut up hands frustratedly.

"Goddammit!"
He stood up to walk over to his nightstand, and in a fit of unchecked rage, he furiously slid and threw everything off of its surface.

His blood was broiling with adrenalin and regret as he hit his lamp off his desk, more shards of glass piercing his skin, "Fuck!"
He rampaged through his room, breaking and shattering everything he owned as he trashed it all.

Because it hurt him too greatly to see Y/N in pain as she was. It's my fault.

I lost my own mother..Y/N thought to herself, laying on her bed as her tears fell down her face on either side. And it's my fault. She kept telling herself.

She had no one left to lose. No one left, except for her unborn child.

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Author's Note :

i know this chapter seemed very chaotic, but that's the point, i'm trying to discombobulate you. but what did you think??

there's some really intense foreshadowing towards the end of this chapter so..

like i said :

there's some crazy shit coming up.

!! intense drama is coming your way soon.. so be prepared. ;)

thanks for reading, let me know what you think about this story.. <3

stay tuned.. ;))

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