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N O T I C E : This book includes detailed themes surrounding violence, sex, suicide, abuse, sexual harassment, alcohol, drugs and blood—all are graphically depicted in this story.

Proceed with notice.

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  THE FOLLOWING DAYS after Y/N and Finn's split, were brutal to them both. Finn often found himself drinking excessively during the late nights of wallowing in his grief.

He was broken without Y/N. He needed her to function, he needed her more than any bottle of alcohol or any cigarette.

Finn tried telling himself that this was only temporary. He tried to convince himself that he made the right choice, but karma ultimately came to bite him in the ass to remind him otherwise.

Finn kept trying to tell himself that Y/N didn't break up with him, she only wanted to have a break. This was a break. Nothing more. 

As for Y/N, she didn't take the split much better than Finn. She found herself missing his company. She found herself missing the late nights at the mountain spot or his soothing voice after she got into an argument with her mother.

Did she make the right choice? Yes, she believed she did. It was painful, but she couldn't help but still love Finn even after all he had done.

It wasn't an emotion she could just turn off with a switch.

Her mornings consisted of a series of trips to the bathroom due to her morning sickness, a symptom of her pregnancy she really despised.

She felt different.

She felt more maternal, as if she had a greater purpose than to just date, fuck, and party like a teenager. Although she was a teenager, she felt like she had more responsibilities.

And she would tend to all those responsibilities, she promised herself.

At least, she will after the Schnapp cabin party.

She just wanted one last time of fun before she really began to prepare herself to be a mother.
  And also, before she tells her own mother about her pregnancy, in which she would surely never see the light of day again.

Unfortunately for Y/N, the party was once again rescheduled, and it was now set for the date of next Saturday, which was a few days away.

No one quite knew the reason why Noah kept postponing it, but Y/N figured it was important.

The week dragged on, as did the tension between Finn and Y/N.

Y/N often found herself walking around with Millie or just going to stores for her mother for grocery needs and such.
  But every time she was out and about, she always somehow for some reason, found Finn.

Finn always kept eyes on Y/N. He liked to tell himself that he was just making sure she was okay on her own with their unborn child.

But mostly, although he hated to admit it to himself, he followed Y/N around to see if she found out anything else about his old self and his past, or rather who told her.

He just wanted to see Y/N more. This was not how he thought things would pan out. This was his worst nightmare.

Y/N was the only one that didn't hate Finn, or didn't think he was a freak. But maybe, that's what he really was.

She was the only one who believed in him.

She was the only one that truly loved him for who he was.

He couldn't lose her, because if he did, what would be the point of living anymore?

Finn stopped going to his therapy sessions due to his focus on Y/N.
And because of that, he was slipping without the help he needed.

Y/N was the only person keeping him in this world.

She was the only person keeping the gun from entering his mouth.

But Y/N didn't know that. She didn't know that she was the sole reason he doesn't kill himself.

Unknowing about Finn's internal emotional turmoil,  Y/N was determined to keep whatever interactions she had with Finn, short and limited because the entire situation was still painful for the both of them.

Much like today, she had 'randomly' bumped into Finn once again, her eyes rolling at his persistence.

You never suspect how unusual someone is until they start appearing wherever you are.

Until they start to become overwhelming, much like Finn was.

"Please, Y/N." Finn pleaded as he walked alongside her as she was walking home from Millie's house.

Y/N was irritated. "Please, what? What do you want, Finn?"

Finn gently grasped at Y/N's wrist to stop her from her long strides as she approached her home. "Please, listen."

Y/N huffed as she looked up at Finn with squinting eyes. Mostly because of the summer sun blaring into her face, but also due to frustration.

"Listen to what?" She retorted, her arms stretched to emphasize her point. "What could you possibly need to say to me right now?"

She wanted Finn to apologize for all he had done. She wanted Finn to apologize for murdering her cat, for impregnating her on purpose, for scaring off any friends she had before him.

She just wanted to hear him acknowledge that he hurt her, that way she would know that he truly cared.

Finn's lips parted, his own eyes squinting as he licked the cut on his lip from the fight with Jack a week ago. The cut kept reopening due to his carelessness.

He stared at Y/N with an intense look, his eyes radiated an emotion that she didn't want to identify because of the pain that came with it.

"Please, Y/N.." He breathed, his voice desperate. "I'm so sorry for what I did, that was a mistake. I'm miserable without you."

"Please, just.." Finn paused, "Please come back to me."

Y/N scoffed, shaking her head as she pressed her tongue to the inside of her cheek as she looked away from Finn disbelievingly.

That's all he had to say? For everything that he's done to her, that's all she got?

"Really?" She asked, angered. "All you can say is 'sorry' for everything you've done?"

Y/N was furious. She was livid, her breath shaking with an anger she's never felt before.

She fell in love with a guy who lied to her for his own lack of morals.

Did he ever really care?

"You really think that a simple 'sorry' is going to make this all better?" She yelled, her voice drenched in pure rage and disbelief.

She couldn't do this. This 'break' was only making things more painful with the thought of Finn not even acknowledge what he's done.

"I'm getting better, Y/N! And with our kid, we need to work together—.."

Finn tried taking a step forward closer, only to see Y/N take a step back away, a comforting hand on her stomach that hardly showed any bump due to her pregnancy.

"Don't." She spat, her eyes watering at the mention of his reminder that this child that she was carrying, was his as well.

"Y/N—.."

She couldn't handle that painful reminder.

In a hurried motion, she swiftly turned around and began her strides back to her house, her gaze was blurry with tears.

She left Finn on the sidewalk, his own heart and hope shattered as he watched Y/N fast approach her home.

She disappeared inside, and Finn couldn't help but feel like he screwed this entire chance up.

He had never been so upset, and that night, he found himself drinking himself to sleep once again.

A bottle of his father's old whiskey was clenched by the neck in Finn's hand as he laid on his bed, his other hand holding a cigarette between his fingers.

His eyes were watery and red. He had been crying, his own self pity and depression really kicking in.

This was what life as like before Y/N. This was what he did before he met the love of his life.

The love of his life.

He couldn't believe this. Here he was, back where he started. He couldn't become that same person he used to be, he just couldn't.

Before Y/N, he held hardly any emotion.

Before Y/N, he hardly ever cared about anyone's opinions.

Before Y/N, he never thought twice about hurting someone who hurt him.

Before Y/N, life was simpler.

His sadness and self pity due to the loss of Y/N, suddenly took a turn as he took another swig of his alcohol.

Now, because of Y/N, he was broken again.

Because of Y/N, he felt emotions to a level he's never felt before.

Because of Y/N, he allowed himself to love.

He blamed her. He blamed her for all this pain that he was going through again, and he couldn't help it.

She didn't love him anymore, he decided.

His pity and depression were no longer aimed to be sad.
  His emotions turned into anger and resentment towards her.

He was now angry with Y/N, and that was an emotion he's never felt before.

Blame is a powerful thing, and at that moment, he was blinded by it and his rage and aggression.

Now, it was all directed towards the girl he loved more than himself, and surely, that would not end well.

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Author's Note :

man, you guys are gonna hate me for these next few chapters.

& you're gonna hate finn even more, so be prepared for this crazy roller coaster that's about to happen.

this was more of a filler chapter, so that's why it's a little short and quick.

intense drama is coming your way soon.. so be prepared. ;)

thanks for reading, let me know what you think about this story.. <3

stay tuned.. ;))

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