013.

warning : mature content ahead

N O T I C E : This book includes detailed themes surrounding violence, sex, suicide, abuse, sexual harassment, alcohol, drugs and blood—all are graphically depicted in this story.

Proceed with notice.

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[ Y/N ]

  MY HEART RACED with every movement Finn took as his lips never left mine in their fiery lock.

His hands wandered from my waist down to grasp my thighs, earning a sharp exhale from my lips. I slid my hand up to graze it against his shoulder, completely forgetting his cut and earning a guttural groan from his mouth vibrating into mine.

I found my hand subconsciously entangling itself in his curly hair, our lips never losing their grip with each other's.

I then felt Finn slide his hand from my thigh to play with the hem of my shirt.

He pulled apart from our lips' embrace.
"Can I—.." He asked breathlessly, his eyes searching mine for permission as I smiled at his swollen lips and messy hair.

I nodded hesitantly, just wanting to feel his lips on mine again. I then quickly returned my lips to meet his warm touch, shuttering as I felt Finn's cold, rough fingers trail up the side of my stomach to attempt to pull my shirt off.

I hesitated and stiffened up, my lips finding themselves reluctant to move. I had always been self-conscious, and I never had sex before.

Finn must've felt my hesitation as he pulled away, his eyes opening to meet mine in my shy state. "Are you okay? Shit, did I do something wrong?" He panicked, his eyes widening with genuine concern.

I smiled weakly at his sweet concern, my eyes lowering down to look at my knees. "I've just..never done this before. The only people who have seen me shirtless and without pants on are the girls in the gym locker room.."

I joked, attempting to lighten up the mood and distract Finn from my nervousness.

Finn smiled, lifting his hand to trace my cheek with his thumb, and I could see his bruised knuckles out of the corner of my eye.

"I've never done this either, but I know that I wouldn't want to do this with anyone but you.."

His words struck me with surprise.

So, he never did get laid, I recall as I remember a while ago an image of him coming to school with bruises, and said it was because he got laid.

"I just.. I'm just nervous I guess." I admit, fiddling with my fingers.

"Do you not want to do this? We don't have to if you don't want to." Finn soothed, his voice soft and smooth as he stroked my cheek affectionately.

"No, I do, I just..I'm nervous."

"Do you trust me?" He asked, his eyes dilated as he waited for my answer that would determine our next big step in our relationship.

Whatever our relationship was, whether we had one or not.

I knew I wanted one. With Finn.

Did I trust him? I mean, he just fought for me like no other guy ever had, and he had bruises and a cut that would surely scar to remind me of that.

He's been there for me during my most weakest points in my life, and I was grateful for him.

He did have those rumors that floated around about him for a while, that always put me on edge.

But it was on multiple occasions that he continuously proved those rumors wrong.

And it was for that reason, that I trusted him.

"Yes.." I licked my lips, my eyes meeting his in an intense look.

He smiled softly, his lips then finding mine again as his hands found their rightful place on my hips before sliding them up to the hem of my pajama shirt.

He slowly lifted his calloused fingers to drag it up my arms until it pooled at my shoulders, my bra and collarbone now visible for Finn's eyes to evaluate.

The cool air met my body as I felt the heat radiate from Finn's wandering eyes, his gaze then locking back with mine as I blushed shyly.

"You're beautiful.." He breathed, as if he were so in awe of what I looked like as he helped me lift the shirt over my head.

He called me beautiful..

I smile against his teeth, my hands subconsciously gripping onto his naked shoulders in an attempt to bring him closer, being careful of his wound.

I could feel his lips curve into a smirk as he gently lays me back onto my bed, disconnecting our lips for a moment of air.

His honeyed eyes were darkening by the second, as I was sure mine were doing too.

"Are you sure?" He reassures, and I couldn't believe how sweet he was being.

If I had any doubts before, they surely melted at his compassion.

"I'm ready.." I whisper back, biting my lip nervously as he leaned down to hover over me again, his darkened eyes were as alluring as he was.

His hands wander my naked upper half, causing shutters of pleasure to erupt from my mouth.

His touch was pure bliss as we kissed with a fiery passion as I draped my arm around his neck to pull him impossibly closer to me to attack his lips hungrily.

Finn broke the kiss for a moment to catch his breath, his lips plump and swollen from my bites and tugs from the kiss.

It was then that I noticed the scars upon his face, the faded bruises and faded cuts that turned permanent.

I subconsciously reached up to trace my fingers over his face, and he leaned into my hand, kissing my palm tenderly.

I knew where he had gotten his scars, and recognized them to be in the same location as they were a couple months ago when he first came into the classroom at school with his face littered with them still fresh.

They were from his father.

But I then took the time and allowed myself to carefully examine his face, the way his cheekbones sharpened and hollowed his cheeks beautifully.
He resembled that of a Roman god statue, and it was incredibly attractive.

"Finn.." I breathed, in complete awe of the man hover above me, and he smiled genuinely at his name spilling from my lips.

"Y/N.." He responded lowly, his eyes staring deeply into my own.

My heart raced as I found a sudden rush of confidence spread within me. It was Finn that had taught me to embrace this sense of confidence, and to use to to my advantage.

And so I did.

I found my hands trailing from his face down to his wounded shoulder, carefully tracing down his bruised and cut chest to finally meet the hem of his jeans.

He took the hint, and immediately shifted his weight on one hand beside my head to then use his other hand to unzip his jeans and kick them off, his boxers now visible.

His hand returned to encage my head between his arms as he hovered over me, his eyes requested a silent question of permission.

And when he found that I didn't protest to his telepathic question, his eyes never their intense burning gaze with mine as he used one of his hands to trail it gently down my bare torso.

My breathing shuttered as his fingers finally found the hem of my own jeans, unzipping my jeans to gently pull them down my thighs until I kicked them off the edge of the bed.

I reached my hands around his neck to pull him back down to my lips, my libido now rising to heights that I didn't even know was possible in me.

I trailed my fingers down to trace Finn's chest and toned torso, earning a soft sound coming from his mouth as I felt his heavy breath against my lips

He bit my bottom lip in an attempt to make his own sounds stop, my touch seeming to really impact him.

He trailed his own hand to gently hold my thigh to spread my legs slowly, feeling his fingertips tug at the hem of my underwear.

He pinched the elastic to slowly slide it down my legs as well, just to add it to the pile of discarded clothes on the floor beside my bed.

Now I was exposed to him, and it finally hit me. No one's ever seen this much of me, no less a guy.

But as if reading my thoughts upon noticing my lips stiffening up against his touch, Finn mumbled, "You're stunning.."

Butterflies filled my stomach at Finn words before his lips left mine to then trail warm slow kisses down my neck.
His head hung in the crook of my neck, his kisses sending shivers through my body as I felt him growing against my bare self.

"You're absolutely sure?" He murmured against my lips before parting them to look me in the eyes.

"Yes," I breathed, my breaths hot and heavy as I felt as though we were forgetting something, "Do we need anything?"

I was referring to protection, but that was not my area of expertise.

I've never had sex before, so I never got birth control. And I didn't know if Finn needed any protection.

Finn seemed to hesitate for a moment, a flash of mixtures of emotions ran across his eyes.

"No, I don't think so." He brushed off my question, and I figured he knew what he was doing.
Cause I sure as hell didn't, so I trusted him with this.

I trusted him with me.

[ 3rd Person ]

It was with great tenderness that Finn was found lining himself with Y/N's untouched entrance, cautious and careful as he finally entered her for the first time.

Y/N's butterflies in her stomach only intensified as her mouth agapes, breaking the kiss to breath heavily into each other's mouths.

She could feel Finn entirely, her holding onto his neck for the support she desperately needed, with one hand on his cheek while the other was entangled in his messed wayward curls.

"Do you want me to stop?" Finn asked intently, his eyes only dilated with concern for the girl he loved as she laid beautifully beneath him.

Y/N was unsure as she was afraid to move, but she soon felt the pain melt within itself to then morph to a strange painful pleasure.

"Y-You can keep going.." She breathed, her hands now wrapped around his toned back to prepare for his thrusts. "Just..slow."

Finn's thrusts weren't anything but careful and gentle, his neck hovered in the crook of
Y/N's neck as his hips met with hers in a pleasuring rhythm.

Y/N's mouth breathed the most softest of moans, hearing only whispers in her ear of loving encouragement from Finn, telling her she was doing well.

She felt this knot in her stomach, an unfamiliar knot that arose butterflies in her as it intensified with everyone of Finn's thrusts.

She heard Finn's mouth emit deep
moans—small, deep whimpers—his hot breath sending her ablaze.

It was then that she felt a warm fluid dispersed within her, Finn's moans becoming deeper with ever thrust after.

After coming down from his high, he continued thrusting carefully to send Y/N chasing her own high as well—a burst of pure euphoria completing overwhelming the both of them.

Y/N felt her body grow weak, her legs fell numb as Finn collapsed on top of her—both breaths ragged and heavy with their bare chests slick with moisture.

Finn hovered over Y/N again to then roll to the side of her, Y/N huffing with a wide grin on her face from pure bliss.

They both stared at the ceiling, trying to catch their breath as they laid beside each other, similarly to how they lay on the grass by their mountainside spot.

Y/N turned on her side to look at Finn's face, his cheeks flushed and his hair practically screaming post-sex.

She couldn't believe that she had just done this, and Finn couldn't believe it either.

They were ecstatic, but something nagged at Finn from within, and he tried his hardest to push that thought away.

He tried so hard to push that guilt away.

Finn saw Y/N out of the corner of his eye staring at her, so he shifted up to sit and prop himself against the headboard of her bed, Y/N following to lay her head against his chest as they sat.

Finn wrapped his arm around Y/N's shoulder, placing a kiss to her hot forehead.

He couldn't believe he just lost his virginity to the girl who's completely taken over his life.

To the girl who's completely changed him to be the better person he was that day.

To the girl he loved so deeply..

No feeling could ever come near the pure euphoria then when he was with Y/N.

He really cared about her. Hell, he loved her.

Y/N felt this overwhelming sense of closeness to Finn now, like she couldn't be close enough and she couldn't get enough of him.

Her hands trailed over his bruised chest, her lips placing gentle kisses to it.

Their legs were tangled together as they sat there, their breaths now catching up.

Her stomach got this fluttering feeling that time control over her completely. She liked it.

She knew how she felt, and there was no more suppressing of this feeling.

She needed Finn to know just how he made her feel.

"I love you.." Y/N muttered with wide doe eyes as she traced circles on his chest.

Finn froze, his muscles tensed underneath
Y/N's fingertips. He couldn't believe she actually said it first, and he couldn't be happier.

Was he hearing correctly?

Could she really love him the way he so loves her?

Y/N sat up from Finn's chest to look him in the eyes for a response, her pupils dilated while her messed hair fell over her bare shoulders.

Finn smiled widely, his cheeks still blushed from the events earlier, but now from hearing her words of love for him.

She loved him.

Finn's hands reached up to place themselves gently on either side of her face, just admiring her for moment. She was gorgeous, she was perfect.

She was Y/N..

Finn's thumb caressed Y/N's cheek gently, a soft smile on her face as she leaned into his palm.

Finn grinned happily before leaning in to place kisses all over her face sweetly, just allowing his lips to visually map her.

Y/N giggled at all his kisses, making Finn want to continue them before he reluctantly pulled away to stare deeply into her eyes.

His heart was in her hands before she could even understand.

"I love you too.." Finn breathed out, as if he couldn't believe this were real.

And with that, Finn pressed his lips to Y/N's in a tender kiss that poured all his love for her into her senses once again.

Y/N smiled into the kiss, her hands coming up to cup them over Finn's that held her face.

She was new to this feeling, and she didn't know if it was wrong to feel this in love with someone only after a few months of knowing each other, but she didn't care.

It felt like a lifetime with Finn.

She was enamored with him.

She felt what she felt, and she accepted that.

This felt so right to her.

Finn felt so right to her..

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Author's Note :

WOW..so that just happened.

hope you liked this mature chapter ;)

don't get comfortable with this cute stuff, cause intense drama is coming your way soon.. so be prepared.  ;)

this chapter what important, so i hope you noticed certain details.

thanks for reading, let me know what you think about this story.. <3

stay tuned.. ;))

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2675 words
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