012.

N O T I C E : This book includes detailed themes surrounding violence, sex, suicide, abuse, sexual harassment, alcohol, drugs and blood—all are graphically depicted in this story.

Proceed with notice.

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FINN LAID IN his bed, his eyes staring up at the ceiling above him as he sat in his empty house. His father was away on a business trip for the next couple weeks, so he would have to fend for himself from now on, which wasn't much of a difference than usual.

But the good news was, he didn't have to explain his wounds to his father again.

He could hear the echoing sounds of the sirens down on the next block soon fade away as he assumed they carried off Jack and his weak body—his knife still in Finn's pocket.

Finn didn't hold any emotion.

Finn felt the fabric of his shirt become sticky with the blood that seeped from his open wound, left open and untended. He didn't mind the feeling.

Which was exactly what scared him.

Images of the night's occurrences kept replaying in his mind. The feeling of the knife puncturing Jack's skin—the blood that stained Finn's hand afterwards. 

The feeling was so familiar to something he had done—when he was the old Finn.

It was horrible. It was terrifying.

It was horribly terrifying that Finn didn't feel worse for stabbing Jack.

Granted, it was an accident, and he felt badly.

But he didn't feel badly enough.

He couldn't help but feel oddly satisfied to feel that again—the feeling of his bloodlust be quenched after so long.
It was like a drug that he's been going to rehab for, and he had just gotten another forbidden dosage.

No.

No, stop it. Stop it.

I'm not that person anymore.

Finn could feel himself slip back into his darkness for a moment before he prevented himself from doing so completely.

His inner demons combated with his new morals, immediately sending him into a wave of pure premature madness.
His heart pounded in his head, his breathing quickened it's pace the more he felt his mind battle itself.

His hands ran themselves furiously through his curls as he sat up against the headboard of his bed, groaning with frustration.

You're a different person, you're better.

You don't do that horrible kind of thing anymore.

But then, just as he thought he couldn't get through this attack, an image came to
his mind—clear and beautifully vivid.

Y/N.

With her blinding smile and her flowing hair that he only recently got the chance to run his hands through.

The girl he fell so deeply for.

The girl he undoubtedly loved.

The girl that saved his life.

He found his breathing begin to settle down and his hands stop their shaking. His adrenaline that coursed through his veins came to a slow stop.

He caught his breath as he ran his
blood-stained hand stressfully through his hair, not seeming to really notice his tired state.

Finn turned to his night stand that stood next to his bed, turning on the lamp to provide a dim light before he opened his drawer to pull out his journal.

The journal that held all his thoughts, the light, heartfelt ones, but also the deep, dark ones.

He quickly fumbled through his drawer for a pen before scooting up his bed to lean his back against the headboard, his journal against his knees while he began scrambling to write.

The sooner he got these thoughts out and written, the sooner he could forget about them.

He pressed his pen against the paper to begin the first line, 'It happened again. I almost slipped back into the darkness..'

Instant relief hit him as his hand wrote with speed while his thoughts poured onto the paper.

But this relief wasn't as effective as he had hoped when he finished the journal entry.

He knew what he really needed—he knew what would really ease his nerves.
Rather, he knew who he needed.

He needed to see Y/N.

And before he knew it, he shoved his journal into his drawer again, and practically sprung from his bed to make his way down the stairs.

He immediately became lightheaded and dizzy, feeling the blood loss from his shoulder really start to kick in and hurt.

He found himself struggling to stagger across Y/N's lawn in the cover of night to make his way to her front door—assuming her mother to be home, so he refrained from ringing the doorbell.

He pulled out his phone from his pocket to text Y/N, asking her to come to her front door.

He had hoped that she wasn't asleep, but he wouldn't be surprised if she was considering that it was 12 in the morning.

However, it wasn't long before she turned on the porch light and opened the door to reveal her worried face.
  Her hair was slightly tussled and her lip was red from being stress-bitten, which was a habit that Finn learned that Y/N did a lot when she was stressed or worried.

Her eyes lit up at the sight of Finn, standing there with a weak look on his face as he held onto his injured shoulder—applying pressure to his wound.

"I-I'm sorry it's so late, but I just needed to see you—.." Finn began to apologize for coming at such a late hour in the night, only to be cut off.

"Finn." She breathed, walking out to immediately engulf him in a hug, her arms around his neck as she held him tightly to her.

Finn seemed to completely disregard the intense pain in his shoulder to wrap his arms tightly around Y/N, burying his nose in her hair.
  He needed this.

As the two stayed like that for a good moment, Y/N reluctantly pulled away, sliding her hands to lace with Finn's. "Please, come inside."

She led Finn by his hand inside the warmth of her house, closing the front door quietly once they both entered.
Without a word, Y/N then walked through her house to her familiar room, entering it before closing the door behind the both of them.

"I was so worried, I couldn't sleep." She exhaled, walking to turn on her lamp without looking at Finn.

"Sorry.." Finn apologized woozily, holding his hand against his wound on his shoulder.

With the light illuminating her room, Y/N then turned to see Finn—standing there weakly with a blood-stained hand supporting what looked to be a bleeding shoulder.

"Oh my god." She exclaimed, quickly walking over to examine Finn's wound. "What the hell happened?" She worriedly asked.

She slowly led Finn to sit upon the edge of her bed, sitting down closely next to him.

"It's nothing, really." He tried to cover it up, only to wince harshly as Y/N tried to examine it.

"Finn." She insisted. "Please, let me help you."

Finn gave her a hesitant look before giving in to her soft request.
  He struggled to lift his arms to lift his shirt up over his head, to which Y/N gently assisted him.

Y/N slid Finn's blood-soaked shirt off to reveal the deep gash on his shoulder, along with multiple purplish-red bruises and cuts scattered all along his abdomen and chest.

She gasped quietly, alarmed at the damage that Finn had taken.
  She couldn't believe that Jack did all this to Finn.

But, she also didn't know what Finn had done to Jack..

"Finn, we need to get you to the hospital." She stated urgently, already getting up from her bed before Finn stopped her.

"No!" He suddenly resisted, not wanting to go to the hospital for few reasons.

It was because it was mostly out of fear of Y/N seeing Jack there with a stab wound—and that his father would find out he racked up another hospital bill from getting in yet another fight.

"Finn, this cut is no joke. You're losing a lot of blood—.." Y/N was just concerned for Finn, but she stopped when Finn's soft plead cut her off.

"Y/N.." He breathed, his eyes were soft and worried as he looked into her eyes.
The look in his eyes were from a mixture of worry and pure fear. He really didn't want to go, and Y/N realized that.

Although she believed that he really did need a doctor, Y/N didn't want to force him.

She sighed, then she suddenly got up from her bed to enter her bathroom, fumbling through a couple of supplies before coming out with a bunch of medical items.

She sat down next to Finn on the bed again, but on the side where his injured shoulder was.

"No..no, you don't need to do that." Finn resisted, already knowing what Y/N planned on doing.
  He didn't need his wound to be tended to, he's handled worse.

Plus, he knew it would hurt like hell.

"Finn, I need to help you. This cut on your shoulder is really serious, and if you really don't want to go to the hospital, then I suggest you let me take care of it—unless you want to pass out from blood loss."

Y/N's words were firm and confident, catching Finn off guard for a moment.
She just wanted to help him, and that was just something he wasn't used to.

Taking his silence as an answer, Y/N took out the disinfectants and pouring it into a cotton ball.
  It was when she was about to clean the wound, that she noticed Finn fearful look.

She figured it was due to the fear of the pain, to which she didn't blame him for. She offered her other hand, "Hold my hand.."

Finn placed his hand in Y/N's, feeling her wrap her fingers around his hand to which it really soothed his nerves. He winced at the contact of the peroxide, and squeezed Y/N's hand tightly but the pain soon grew bearable.

He found his body get chills with every tough of Y/N's fingers against his skin. He watched her intently as she worked on his wounds, her concentration amazed him.

"I can't believe Jack did this to you. He came at you with a fucking knife, he's a lunatic.. he's a fucking bastard." She cursed, grabbing a few gauze to wrap around Finn's shoulder. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. I've handled worse." Finn shrugged, referring to his father's beatings that happened almost daily—if he was lucky, it would be weekly. "That actually feels a lot better, thank you."

Y/N smiled in return as she finished wrapping Finn's shoulder, smoothing out the bandage. "But still..I just wanted to say, thank you." She smiled thinly as she was now just sitting next to him.

"For what?" He asked, turning so that both of them were now facing each other.

Y/N's eyes unintentionally wandered from his eyes to his bare chest and abdomen littered with cuts and bruises.

"For fighting for me. For going through all this shit with me."
She said quietly, gesturing to all Finn's bruises.

"No one's ever cared enough to do something like that for me." Y/N admitted, allowing her eyes to fall into the depths that Finn's eyes created.

She didn't expect to say that out loud, but upon seeing the soft and surprised look on Finn's face that came with it, she didn't mind.

What she had said was true.

Not many guys had ever done something remotely close to what Finn has already done for her, and she was really grateful for it.
She wasn't used to the feeling, but with Finn, she adored the feeling of being worth defending.

She wanted to say more—she wanted to say exactly how deeply she felt for Finn, but she couldn't find it in herself to work the courage up to do so.

Finn licked his lips, a few cuts ran along his bottom lip that stung as he ran his tongue across.

It was then that Finn's inner feelings for Y/N began screaming at him from deep within.

His love for her..

Say it.

Tell her.

"I'd do anything for you.." He spoke in a soft, genuine whisper. He really meant those words.

Y/N felt her stomach flutter at his words, a blush scattering along her cheeks.

His sweet words awakened another feeling, a feeling she's never experienced before.

It was love.

Say it.

Tell him.

Before either of them could say another word, they both found themselves leaning in closer until they could feel the hot breaths on each other's lips.

Their eyes stayed locked in an intense gaze, flickering between their eyes to their lips.

Finally, they closed the gap between them, and found their lips connect instantly.

Finn's lips were slow and gentle upon Y/N's, cherishing her taste in every way possible.

Y/N felt herself become lost in his touch, a feeling of pure bliss.

He found this sudden feeling arise inside him, as did Y/N. It was because of that feeling, that the kiss intensified deeper.

Finn wanted to communicate and pour all of his love for Y/N into her lips, since he couldn't find the right words—and Y/N felt his passion.

Any other worries Y/N had just seemed to fade away as she got lost in Finn's hypnotizing touch, and the intoxicating taste that Finn found Y/N's lips to be.

She found her hands subconsciously trail against his bare chest, gently grazing his bruises.
She felt Finn's hands rest on her lower waist as he gripped onto her as if she were going to disappear from his grasp.
She didn't mind one bit.

They both felt this kiss lead to something much bigger, and yet, they both didn't mind.

They wanted this.

They wanted each other..

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Author's Note :

WOW.. okay, i really bet you weren't expecting THAT, huh?

w a r n i n g : there will be mature content in the next chapter.

;)

thanks for reading, let me know what you think about this story.. <3

stay tuned.. ;))

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