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N O T I C E : This book includes detailed themes surrounding violence, sex, suicide, abuse, sexual harassment, alcohol, drugs and blood—all are graphically depicted in this story.

Proceed with notice.

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IT WAS odd, really. The way Y/N was feeling after Finn had dropped her off at her house after being at the mountainside.

With a smile and a wave, they parted ways.
She couldn't quite pinpoint the feeling, but she didn't think it was a good one.

She walked inside her house, opening the front door and closing it to find her mother sitting in the living room with a laptop pulled up to her workload.

Her mother turned her head to greet her daughter with a smile, gesturing for Y/N to come sit with her with a subtle tap on the cushion next to her.

"So, where'd you go?"
Her mother asked nonchalantly as she stared at her computer screen with concentration.

Y/N pursed her lips to a line, shrugging. "Just with Finn."

"How lovely. He seems like a very nice young man—very polite."
Her mother commented, still very obviously zoned in to her work.

Y/N nodded slowly, as if processing what her mother thought Finn to be.

She wished she could believe that he was all that he seemed to be. Nice, shy, kind, caring—

But was that only a facade to beguile Y/N under his undeniably mysterious charm?

Because if it was, then Y/N was scared to admit that it was working..

She thought of a question that she's been wondering all day.
Something that could help guide her and help figure out what she should do from here.

"Mom..?" Y/N spoke up.

"Yes, dear?"

She hesitated with open lips. "Can I ask you a question ?"

Without moving her eyes from her laptop screen, her mother nodded. "Of course."

Y/N licked her lips before exhaling. "What would you do if you found out that your friend might not be who they said they were? If they..if they seemed normal but might not be?"

Her question hung in the air for a moment before her mother chuckled to herself while she typed something onto the keyboard.

"Oh, honey. Nobody's normal. If they were, I'd be frightened."
Her mother said, and Y/N wasn't exactly sure that this helped her problem.

"Yeah, but what if people say that your friend is a bad person? O-Or that they've done bad things? What do you do then?"
Y/N pursued, her eyebrows furrowing.

It was then that her mother turned her attention to her daughter.
  She elevated her reading glasses to rest on her head to give Y/N a good look in the eyes.

"Well, that depends. Are these just rumors that the friend has done things, or is it proven?"
Her mother asked, raising an inquiring eyebrow before seeing Y/N hesitate for a moment.

  She has only heard all those things about Finn being dangerous from Roman—a guy she hardly knew at all.

"W-Well, I've heard-.."

She never actually saw any reason to believe the rumors that Roman told her, because personally, Y/N didn't see what Roman saw in Finn.

Yet.

"Sweetheart, just because you may hear it, doesn't mean it's true unless it's coming from the friend you're speaking about." She said.
  "If it were me, I would give that friend a chance, and test the waters with them myself, then I'll make the conclusion if the rumors were true."

Y/N blinked as she thought it through.
It wasn't the worst idea.

It would get her the answers she wanted herself.

But would she get hurt in the process?

It was then that she made a decision.
"You're right, it's not fair to the friend. It's only fair if the person at least gave them a chance.."

And Y/N made up her mind, that that was exactly what she was going to do.

And although she didn't know it yet, but this decision would either make or break her.

~

The next week included many trips to the mountainside spot where Y/N and Finn hung out together as the friends that they were.

Y/N wanted to follow her mother's advice, and that's exactly what she was doing.

It formed into a routine.

She would go to the mountainside spot everyday after school with Finn in his impala, with the windows rolled up and the car rides silent.

Finn irritatedly insisted on keeping the windows rolled up for fear of ruining their new darkened tint.

' They always get streaks when I roll them down' , he would tell Y/N with a short eye roll.

There was never anything exceptionally apparent that Finn did that made Y/N change her mind about him and his unpredictable behaviors.

That was.. until one day.
  It happened on a Friday—two weeks after her mother's word of advice. Two weeks after hanging out with him everyday.

That Friday was different than all the other days of the usual, and frankly, a bit boorish visitings of the mountainside spot.

It was the day that Y/N found out that perhaps, Finn was more human than she originally thought..
And it answered her questions.

  That day was like any other day at school, the usual bell schedule, and the usual conversation with Finn and all her friends except Millie.

She would see Millie pass by her a couple times in the hallways during passing period, but she always ducked her head down, or pretended not to see her.

And one time, when Y/N saw Millie at her locker, she even tried confronting her about it.

And her response was a dull one , "I-I just need some space, okay?"

And Millie grabbed her books before hurrying off away from her.

Y/N couldn't lie. It hurt her to see and feel her best friend drifting further and further away without warning.

Millie had, for some odd reason, put a good amount of distance between her and Y/N, and she had no idea as to why.

So, she had no one to turn to when she was jumped by Jack 'the douche' Grazer.

She had no one to turn to, except for, Finn..

It happened when she was walking home alone—Finn wasn't with her because he had been taken out of school by his dad early—so she decided to take a shortcut through the neighboring block.

Rookie mistake, because as she turned the corner that unbeknownst to her, was Jack's street, there he was.
Sitting on the bench, knees apart as he chatted with his friends, was Jack fucking Grazer.

Fuck.

She could really use the assistance of Finn right now..

And as soon as Jack's darkened eyes met Y/N's, he froze in his seat before a wicked smile curled in his lips—making Y/N began walking the opposite way.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

She needed Finn's help that very moment as the adrenalin coursed through her veins.

She forced her mind to go blank and zone out to prevent further mental abuse before she felt the grip of a hand clench around her wrist—forcing her to stop walking.

She swallowed thickly as she turned around to face the guy she loathed. 

Finn I fucking need you..

~

[ Finn's POV ]

  I paced back and forth in my room, awaiting the call from Y/N, but also, dreadfully awaiting the arrival of my father from work.

He picked me up early to come do yard work for his work's grass and lawn.
I hate lawn work, but I was raised by my dad to do laboring work like that since I was 3.

When my mother died during her depression.

My father's been more angry than usual lately, and I was afraid that it might have something to do with me being out all the time.

And with Y/N, for that matter.

He didn't like the thought of me hanging out with girls—he thought they were all whores.

But he didn't know Y/N. He didn't know how she was the one who held my hand while I stepped from the shadows.

How she made me feel important. How she made me feel wanted—even in the least bit.

  My heart practically jumped at the sound of my phone vibrating, so I eagerly pressed the green button to answer.
"Hello?"

"C-Can you pick me up? Like..soon, please.."
Y/N asked through the phone in a jittery voice.

It seemed that she had good reason for it, too.

I scrunched my face at her tone in her voice, having known Y/N long enough to know that something was different.

Something was wrong.

"Y-Yeah, of course. I'll be right there."
I hung up soon after to grab my keys and headed to the garage.

I got into my car and it rumbled to a start before I pulled out of the garage and pulled up next to Y/N's house next door.

It was when she hurriedly walked out her front door with a fearful look on her face before she made her way to the passenger seat, that I saw why she sounded scared on the phone.

She was quiet, one hand rested on her lap with the other propping her head up against the arm rest.
She kept bobbing her knee up and down, her gaze was nowhere except the familiar landscape outside the window as I drove closer to our mountainside spot.

I wanted to know what happened.

I wanted to know why she was so on edge.

But I didn't want to pressure her.
  I didn't want her to say anything to me until she was ready.

At least I hoped she would.

Suddenly, she jerked to look at me. "Could you roll down my window..please?"

Her breathing seemed to be shuttered as I kept gazing at her with one of my hands on the wheel.
Subconsciously, without a second thought, I reached for the controls on my arm rest to roll down her window.

She seemed to instantly relax as she turned slowly to look at me with a surprised face—I hope it was in a good way.

I gave her a thin smile, before turning my gaze back to the road that gradually became rockier with gravel as we got closer to our spot.

She was still silent as I parked my car in the usual shaded spot, and guided her to our mountainside spot.

Her arms never left their crossed position over her chest, as if she were trying to shield herself.

When we emerged in the familiar clearing of our mountainside spot, I made my way to the usual spot where I sit, and heard her footsteps walk over to mimic my posture.

We sat there in a comfortable silence for a little while—just enjoying the way the city looked with the sun setting over the horizon behind it.

I tried to subtly look over to take a glance at
Y/N, and admired how the rich sunlight perfectly illuminated her already flawless features.

She was so beautiful—they way her hair tucked behind her ear and they way her lips moved when she spoke to me.

There was no better haven then when I was around her.

We both took deep breaths of contentment as Y/N gazed at the horizon, but I sighed at her beauty.

I don't know what it is about her, but she makes me feel a certain type of way.
I don't feel the need to constantly yell or lash out.

I felt calm and at ease with her.

"Y/N?"
I spoke up, careful not to be too forward.

She turned her gaze from the city to look at me with those soft, doe-like eyes of hers. I swear, they could make me melt.

Her hair fluttered around her face with the wind's breeze as she looked at me.

"Are you okay?"
I asked with genuine concern, and watched as her eyes widened with a mixture of fear and shame.

She licked her lips before fidgeting her her hands. She looked away from me and back to the city, "Yes."

Her eyes. Her eyes are what gave her away.

"You can tell me. I'm here for you Y/N.."

My words were genuine, but if she had known the measures and steps I had taken to get to where I am now with our friendship, she would surely despise me.

She didn't know how heavily the guilt of what I had done, rests on my shoulders.
  She doesn't know how it eats at me everyday—pushing me into madness when I'm not around her for her presence to calm me.

Her breathing shuttered as she remembered what had happened, and seemed horrified to utter 3 words.

"Jack. Fucking. Grazer."
She spat, her eyes hardening at the name.

I could tell that it took a great amount of strength for her to say that.

And it was then that I knew exactly what happened.

"He violated me."
She mumbled with utter disbelief.

At those words, something inside just ignited.
  My fists clenched with a form of anger I hadn't felt before, and god knows I've had plenty of experience with rage.

But something about this was different.

I wasn't just angry for the sake of being angry.
  In fact, I wasn't angry at all.

I was vengeful..

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Author's Note :

do you guys have any questions for me about this book? go ahead & ask, & I'll answer them all !

as requested, I wrote half of this chapter in Finn's POV.. ;) —I hope it confused you guys, cause that's what I'm going for.

next chapter is gonna be an important one because there will be much character development.. ;)

!! you guys aren't ready for how it's gonna end !!
—but that's not for a while, so do not fret.

more chapters to come, but as usual, i will only further write if i see that people actually read this story.

thanks for reading, let me know what you think about this story.. <3

stay tuned.. ;))

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