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N O T I C E : This book includes detailed themes surrounding violence, suicide, abuse, drugs and blood—all are depicted in this story.

Proceed with notice.

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SHE SAT motionless on the cold concrete steps that led to her porch, her face portrayed no emotion. Her cheeks were dried of any tears she cried, with the chilling morning wind blowing her hair behind her shoulders.

Saturday. A day that was supposed to be set aside for personal time or homework if she felt the initiative for it. But this Saturday was never meant for a day like it was beginning to become.

"Y/N..?"

  Her mother's voice echoed in the back of her mind—she listened, but she did not mentally process.

Y/N looked at the rocking chair that stood still on the other side of the porch in the shade, it's wooden armrests and careful craftsmanship didn't seem as welcoming as it had a few days prior.

It was on that rocking chair that her cat would sit and sleep peacefully during the calm mornings.
The same cat she grew up with ever since she was 5.
The same cat that got her through so many stress fits and anxiety attacks.

He was gone.

"Sweetheart, I got you a present early for Christmas this year.."
  Y/N's mother stood eagerly above her small daughter who had glistening eyes of excitement.

"What is it, mommy?"

"Why don't you open this box here?

It was without a moment's hesitation that Y/N carefully opened the hollow box to reveal a small orange kitten inside with a ribboned bow.

"A kitty !"
Her excitement was too much to contain as she eagerly scooped up the feline to hold gently to her chest with her small hands.

"That's right ! He's yours, so what do you want to name him ?"

Y/N thought for a moment, but with her sporadic and mythical mind process of a 5 year old, she couldn't think of a proper name.

"How about..Meows? Because cats meow, right?"
  It was obvious that her mother couldn't think of a name either, but yet again, neither could she.

"Okay ! Mews, it is !"

But she never called her cat by the name 'Meows' again after that day.
  It was always 'Mews' because she couldn't pronounce 'meows' properly with a childish lisp.
And so 'Mews' just stuck.

Gone.

"Y/N?"
Her mother spoke up clearly this time, more stern.

  Y/N sniffled while she reached her sleeve under her nose without turning to look at her mother— the same flashback of a memory replayed in her head on an endless and painful loop.
"Yes..?"

"Why don't you come and help me in the backyard?"

  It took much of her strength and willpower to stand up to take even the smallest of steps to greet her mother with a tear stained face.
  She had no emotion in the way she walked with her mother to the backyard or when she watched as she mindlessly shoveled dirt over the neatly wrapped box buried in the soil.

All she could remember of her cat, was the revolting state he was left in. Blood oozing everywhere onto the grass, limbs and internal organs threatening to burst at the seams.

The graphics of it all was enough to make her dead silent.

Even after her mother said a few words in remembrance of the cat that stayed with her daughter when she couldn't, Y/N stayed outside alone while her mother returned inside to make dinner.

Y/N stood above the newly laid patch of turned soil, almost staring into the depths of what was underneath. The sunset cast beams of orange light on her pained face as she couldn't bare to go back inside to not find her cat eating her dinner like usual.

"Sweetheart..?"

Y/N's drowning thoughts were interrupted by her mother's call from the doorframe of the back door.
  She merely turned her head to meet her mother's gaze, not needing words to express how she felt for her face communicated it all.

"Someone's here to see you."
She offered, gesturing to the front door through the house and Y/N found it deep inside her, the energy, to begrudgingly walk towards and passed her mother through the house.

She walked up to the front door to open it and see no other than her crush, Finn.

She opened the screen door before walking out onto the porch with him and closing the door behind her, "Finn? What are you doing here?"

"I heard about what happened with your cat, and I j-just wanted to check up on you."
  Finn reached his hand to scratch the back of his neck, a sign of his nervousness to be around
Y/N.
"I'm so sorry for your loss."
His sympathy was genuine, and that was as much as Y/N received since her loss.

Y/N wrapped her arms around herself, almost as if she was keeping herself together from apart at the seams.
  She looked up at Finn, his golden brown eyes shimmered in the sunset beams, kissing his sculpted face to perfection in Y/N's eyes.

Without a second thought, she just walked over and wrapped her arms around Finn, burying her face in his soft black shirt—feeling his long sleeved arms wrapping around her in return.
  She couldn't help the tears that began to flow once again, but she just needed the comfort of someone that wasn't her mother.

Finn gladly embraced her, gently stroking her hair as he whispered soothing phrases, "Shh..it's gonna be okay.."

Her rapid breathing stuttered as she forced the tears down, choking up as Finn consoled her without a second thought.
There was no doubt that he cared about her with all that he had.

Y/N pulled away reluctantly to wipe the tears from her cheeks and eyes, seeing the look of pure concern on Finn's face.
  It reminded her of the way only her mother would bother looking at her.

While staring into the abyss that was Finn's caramel brown eyes, she came to the realization that he was the only other person that seemed to care enough to check on her. Everyday.

She wasn't in the best mind space at that moment, but everything seemed to be clearer to her. He was there for her in her time of need, and she appreciated that. It only reinforced her feelings for him.

Which is why in a clouded head of judgment, she leaned forward, and placed a delicate kiss to Finn's lips. She reached her hand to his chest, finding that his lips were chapped—more so than they appeared.

She abruptly pulled away from the kiss, an apologetic look on her face, "I-I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that—.."

But her apology was cut short by Finn this time.

She felt his hand reaching to cup her cheek gently, brushing a few strands of her hair behind her ear.
They stood there on her porch, bodies pressed together as their lips danced with each other.

All those warnings about Finn and red flags she was told to avoid, seemed to melt away in the impulsive decision to kiss him.
It was as if Y/N had forgotten every ounce of her moral compass that told her to be cautious around Finn.

But her mind was clouded—her judgment was lapsed in her desperate times, she he was the closest thing she clutched onto for dear life.

She allowed her feelings for Finn consume her entirety in all that she was, and to be perfectly honest, she liked the feeling. She liked him.

Perhaps Roman knew not of what Finn was really like, and perhaps, he was just misunderstood.

It was strange what Finn was doing to Y/N, the way his presence just made her weak and fluttery in the stomach.
The way his touch seemed to be angelic works of the devil.

Yet, the devil was once an angel.

As for Finn, there was no doubt that his infatuation with Y/N only escalated to the highest extent now that she granted him herself. He cherished every movement of her vanilla chapstick tasting lips, and could feel his cheeks grow in heat.

This was the start of something bigger than herself, the start of a spider web that she would inevitably find herself entangled in. It all started, with a kiss..

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Author's Note :

good news, i finally have a solidified ending for this book, and I am so excited to write more chapters to get there..

more chapters to come, but as usual, i will only further write if i see that people actually read this story.

this book may be shorter than previously thought but as long as the plot line needs to develop , i'll write it.

thanks for reading, let me know what you think about this story.. <3

stay tuned.. ;))

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