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BLUE & GREY
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Taehyung

“Why haven’t you eaten anything?” I ask in a surprised tone when I see that all the food on the table is still untouched.

“It wouldn’t be polite to eat without you,” Yi-Seo says matter-of-factly as she picks up her bowl and chopsticks and fills it in with a good quantity of makguksu, and then she extends the bowl to me.

“Thank you,” I take it from her hand, bringing a smile to her face.

I don’t wait for her to ask me to pass the other bowl to her, and once I do, she fills it in with a smaller quantity of makguksu and starts eating her food.

Her presence definitely feels nice, and having someone to eat together with is always a nice thing. I can’t even remember the last time I casually dined out with somebody; the most that I can recollect is having dinner with Hong-Cheol while discussing business, and the occasional dinners with my buddy, Woo-Bin. Or scandal guy, as Yi-Seo referenced him.

Fleeting thoughts about Hong-Cheol and business drive me back into my sad pit, and I glance around the table for a drink. Only now do I remember that we didn’t order any drinks because Yi-Seo was the one who ordered the food, and she doesn’t drink.

“Uhm-,” I clear my throat and bring her attention to me. “I need something to drink,” I replace my bowl on the table and run a hand through my hair, keeping my gaze strong on her.

She sets her bowl down on the table too and serves me a portion of the galbi with a smile on her face that somehow seems like it wants to stay, and it suits her well too.

“What should I order for you?” She asks me softly.

“Makgeolli? It’s been a while since I had some good makgeolli,” I flash a smile at her, and she nods in an understanding manner.

Yi-Seo then orders makgeolli, and the waiter places one bottle of it and two bowls on our table. I shake the bottle a little and pour out a bowlful for me, and then my eyes lift to look at her eating cheerily. She has almost emptied the galbi after serving me just one small bit of it.

“Why don’t you have a drink? Makgeolli is very smooth and light,” I offer to pour some into her bowl, and she politely refuses by shaking her head.

“No, Taehyung-ssi, I don’t willfully drink. And it’s okay, please don’t feel bad or anything. You can drink, I don’t really mind,” Yi-Seo nods in confirmation, and she proceeds to pick out a huge blob of jjolmyeon to fill her bowl with while I still haven’t finished my portion of the makguksu.

“You should be eating more, Taehyung-ssi. Look at me, I’ve been eating non-stop, and you still haven’t finished the makguksu. I feel bad,” she pouts a little, complaining and pointing to my bowl of food.

“Okay,” I chuckle lightly as I finish up the food in my bowl and help myself to more makgeolli and an ample helping of jjolmyeon.

Yi-Seo only chuckles with her mouth full and her cheeks puffed out as she continues belting the food like a hungry little bear.

“Is there a reason behind you purposely avoiding alcohol?” I question her as I gulp down the makgeolli bottoms-up.

Her eyes meet mine, and she smiles uneasily, bobbing her head in all directions. “Kind of?” She exhales a heavy breath. “I don’t like it that every conversation leads up to him, but yeah, Jungkook is the reason I don’t drink anymore,” she nods briefly and proceeds to eat.

“So, you used to drink, and then you stopped… How do you not feel tempted? Because if you haven’t ever had a drink, it’s understandable. But since you’ve already tried, how do you not crave it anymore?” I fail to understand her dynamics.

Yi-Seo sets her chopsticks down, and her gaze lifts to meet mine as she breathes out slowly. “Taehyung-ssi, the trauma and pain that comes with alcohol overpowers everything else for me. Every time he got drunk, it was scary, and I don’t even want to think about it anymore,” her words make me look at my drink in remorse.

“I’m sorry for bringing it up. Please eat peacefully,” I raise the bowl of makgeolli and give her a toast in the air before swallowing it down in one gulp.

“Do you know something? I think I’ve figured out what made me fall in love with Jungkook, and what made me fall out of love with him… The thing you told me to think about the other day,” Yi-Seo’s visage sports a look of clarity, and I lean forward, resting my elbows on the table to express my interest in learning more.

“It all comes down to alcohol. He was his most vulnerable self whenever he got drunk, and it made me want to give him the whole world. But he was also at his worst when he got drunk, and it was repulsive and toxic. I thought about this last nigh-” her head snaps up to look at me, and she abruptly stops speaking, causing my eyebrows to come together in confusion.

“What about last night?” I quiz her, stroking a finger on my chin in anticipation, a little nervously.

I wouldn’t have told her too much, right?

“I- uhm, I’m sorry. I happened to flip through your lyric sheets last night,” she confesses and apologizes hesitantly, and I actually feel relieved it was just that. Little does she know that she was part of, and the main reason for the work that I just handed over because those sheets were not left on my work table.

“I noticed,” I nod my head a few times as I lean back and refill my drinking bowl with makgeolli.

“Oh,” she sounds a little surprised, but I dismiss that and don’t bother to give her an explanation.

“Taehyung-ssi, I think I have two people in mind who could have possibly instigated the tape leak,” Yi-Seo lowers her volume, and my eyes shoot up to look at her, already having her eager eyes on me.

“Scandal guy, Sammy,” nodding, I repeat the names of her potential suspects, and her eyes widen in shock once again, her jaw dropping a little as well.

“How did you know?” The tone of her voice perfectly aligns with her petrified expressions.

“Seriously, you’re asking me that?” I let out an amused chuckle.

Her shoulders sink as she leans back blankly, and then she nods her head a few times when the realization hits her. “Right, I wrote it down,” her voice is nothing above a feeble whisper, and it makes me chuckle again.

“You’re right. It was one of them,” I say softly, not wanting to revisit the doomed confrontation of utter betrayal that happened many years ago; every word spoken is still fresh in my memory, though.

“You knew it, and you still didn’t sue them for invasion of your privacy, and why is that so?” Yi-Seo questions me, tilting her head to one side and sounding a little disappointed with me.

“I valued, and I still value people and relationships more than fleeting things like fame, name, money, and reputation. He admitted doing it, and I knew his reasons too, but I forgave him because I treasured our friendship, and I didn’t want some transient emotion to be the reason our friendship ended,” I speak in one stretch with my eyes fixed on the drinking bowl in my hand as I keep tracing its rim with my fingertip.

“Did he apologize?”

“He did,” I don’t find it in me to pull out any other words without possibly blowing up all of the pent-up sour emotions that have been piling within me and suffocating me over the years.

“I don’t know what to say anymore,” Yi-Seo responds quietly, and then there’s a long moment of silence that follows.

“Please order more makgeolli,” I request her while pouring out the last bit into my bowl, and the combined ache of discussing the events from my past along with the injustice that I’m serving to my craft is literally eating me alive at this point.

Almost an hour passes by, and we end up with empty food bowls and four wiped-out bottles of makgeolli on our table, and I still feel the need for more. I can’t survive the night if I don’t drink my way there.

“Just one more,” I know my speech is slurred, but I try my best to convince Yi-Seo for just one more bottle, and she sternly turns me down.

“No, Taehyung-ssi. This is enough. You look so red and sick, and I don’t want you throwing up all over my car. We have to leave now,” her words sound dragged and musical to my ears.

“I’ll pay for us. I’m rich now, Miss Kwon,” I break into a fit of laughter as I pull out one of the three cash-filled envelopes from under my shirt and proudly slam it on the table. “Pay for everything, and there will still be a lot left in it,” I know I’m giggling, and I want to stop, but I can’t.

I have no idea what she did next or how many minutes passed, but everything seemed like in a fast-forward sequence, and the next thing I know, I’m sitting beside her in the passenger seat of her car with the wind gently blowing on my face as she drives us back to Silver Springs.

Once the car comes to a stop, I open the door and climb out, dragging my feet towards my home. It’s been years since I drank makgeolli, and it is making me feel nice and heady, which is quite different from the effect that more concentrated spirits have on me.

Without turning on the lights in my living room, I take a few steps inside, and then I turn around and see Yi-Seo standing at my doorway with a disturbed look on her face. Smiling ear-to-ear, I turn around to face her, motioning for her to come inside, and she does.

“Come closer,” I laugh softly, and she takes a step closer to me with a look of caution dominating her soft features.

“Please stay,” I mumble just enough for her to hear and take a few steps backward, crashing on the couch thereafter.

Reaching out for my pack of regular cigarettes, I pull out one from the pack and light it up, pulling a lungful of smoke thereafter. It somehow energizes me a little, and I turn my head to the side to find Yi-Seo standing there with her head low.

“Is something worrying you?” I ask her as I blow out a cloud of foggy smoke that temporarily blurs her image.

She doesn’t speak a word in response, and I don’t have any energy to probe her anymore, but I guess she needs the couch to lie down, so I vacate the space for her and move to my room instead.

⚜
Do you know who was behind the tape leak?
🤔
Of course, you do.

Also, Jimin is an important character in this story. Any guesses what his character could be? There is a tiny hint in the characters chapter.
💕

Published on : 01/23/2023