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BORN SINGER
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Yi-Seo

“Is he related to you?” The young lady doctor in the emergency room questions me in an exhausted manner.

“He’s my neighbor, and I happened to see him passed-out at his door when I went over to share some of my dinner with him,” I tell her the truth, and she pushes out a tired breath before leaning back in her seat and bringing her eyes to land on me.

“He’s unconscious, and it looks like he has been trying to kill himself. We have given him emergency first aid, but suicide is still a crime, and we might not be able to proceed further without filing a complaint with the police,” she states in a toneless manner that gives away how exhausted she is, probably reaching the end of her shift hours.

I have no idea how to react now, but my body is definitely reacting by making my hands grow cold all of a sudden.

“Oh, I see. Please do the needful, doctor. And, what exactly has he been doing that makes you say that he has attempted suicide?” I ask her even though I know fully well that prolonged alcohol addiction is bad by all means, and that it could also kill someone in the long run.

“It’s the typical alcohol-morphine combination. He has overdosed himself with alcohol and consumed morphine pills as well, and this is a lethal combination which could have actually ended him, but, surprisingly, it didn’t,” she explains, making my eyes fly wide, and my jaw drop open.

“Shit! I thought he was only drinking, and I had no clue about the pills he was consuming,” the tone of my voice gives away the fear that’s starting to grip my throat, and I could already sense the uncomfortable tightening constriction that is forming within the pit of my stomach.

What would have happened if he had already died by the time that I went to meet him? Then I would have been framed as the prime suspect and an eye witness. Shit!

“Luckily, the pills were mostly undigested when he was brought in, and we have cleaned out his stomach, but he’s yet to regain consciousness. We’ll have to wait and see,” she leans back in her seat and lets out a tired yawn, covering her mouth with the back of one hand.

“Okay,” I nod my head a few times, keeping my reply short, once again not knowing how else to react to this entire situation.

In a way, I feel that the timing of my showing up at his doorstep was perfect because otherwise, no one would have even known that he had collapsed inside his home, and if the pills had been fully digested, then he might have probably been dead by now, and the very thought of it makes me shudder, a shiver running up my spine.

I wait alone in the cold and empty corridor outside the emergency ward where Taehyung is resting, and again, I’m questioning my own life choices as I have always done. My life was supposed to be the new-place-new-me shit. I was supposed to move into Silver Springs and forget my grueling past, move on from the breakup, start a new life and focus on my passion of becoming a writer. But look at me now. I’m waiting for my alcoholic stranger neighbor to wake up from his comatose state without having any clue about how long it would actually take for him to do so.

Why am I putting myself through this?

I should at least be tangled up amongst the warm sheets on my bed right now and embarking on my phantom journey to dreamland, but I’m not remotely close to that state, and to top it all, I’m suddenly hungry as well.

I decide to grab a quick snack or two from the convenience store nearby and use the remainder of my waiting time to read up about Taehyung, which was what I originally intended to do tonight. Now, only the location and setting have changed, but I can still read and learn about him and his past because, as always, I have nothing better to do now.

Heading over to the nearby convenience store, I pick up a large cup of spicy ramen and a pack of gimbap and begin eating it after muttering a small prayer of apology to the soup and rice that is resting on my kitchen counter. And to the same food that is resting on Taehyung’s coffee table as well because these will most definitely end up in the trash tomorrow.

As I settle down in one of the seats outside the convenience store and begin eating my noodles, I type in ‘K-pop idol Kim Taehyung’ into the search bar of my browser and scan through the results displayed.

After the fog in my glasses clears up, I proceed to first check out the images which are a plethora of vibrant photographs that show a much younger, energetic, healthier, and charming version of Taehyung, performing on stage sporting eccentric hair colors, flashy clothes, and chunky pieces of jewelry.

He looks insanely attractive, ethereally beautiful with such well-defined perfect features and body proportions to die for, and above all, he looks so happy in all the photos where he is performing on stage. I find myself resting my jaw on my palm and smiling at his pictures as I scroll past them one by one.

The happy photos are interjected by a few images of news articles about him, and images of some folks holding out placards and banners with hate slogans scrawled out on them. Slurping a long strand of the noodles, I switch over to reading the news articles written about him.

The first one that catches my attention is a very old article with the headline ‘K-pop soloist Kim Taehyung remains silent following sex tape leak’ and this makes my eyebrows shoot upwards, and I almost choke on the noodles that I slurped in a few seconds ago. I do not waste another second clicking open that article which is from the archives of a famous daily newspaper.

‘The trend of leaked sex tapes is becoming the new normal in the Korean entertainment industry, and gone are the days when the mention of leaked sex tapes was looked upon with remorse. Celebrities, especially the male celebrities these days, seem to be looking at it as their shot at fame. Following the recent, most talked about sex tape leak of solo idol Kim Taehyung, the industry and fans alike are abuzz with talks that we might be entering an era where celebrities are turning indifferent to leaked sex tapes. The twenty-six-year-old idol, touted as the most handsome man of the year for three years in a row now, has remained completely silent regarding the issue, and his agency has also not issued any explanation regarding the same. Nevertheless, they have promptly taken down most of the uploads, yet the public have still feasted upon the content.

Given the fast-paced world that we live in, the idol’s nonchalant attitude may work in his favor. For a long time now, the trend of glorifying men in sex tapes has been normalized, and men are usually praised for their agility and dominance in such short videos. Although objectified, it is done in a way that enlarges egos with a promise of no consequences.

It is also interesting that neither the agency, nor the artist have filed any defamation case against the source from which the video was uploaded, and this further fuels the idea that-’ I stop reading the article at that because it has been written in a typically judgmental way, heavily based on assumptions without probing into the exact details of why a defamation lawsuit wasn’t actually filed by the victim against those who broadcast the content.

I don’t even dare to look at the videos under this tag because those would most definitely assault my eyes and give me unholy visions, which I absolutely don’t want at the moment, and I proceed to read the other news articles instead.

The next article that catches my attention is the one titled ‘SHOCKING! Soloist Kim Taehyung collapses on stage during his encore performance.’

My eyebrows knit together as I click open the article and proceed to read it.

‘Soloist Kim Taehyung, 27, collapsed on stage while performing at his concert in Seoul on Wednesday. Doctors at the Samsung Medical Center have confirmed that he had been under the influence of an overdose of extremely harmful narcotic drugs prior to his blackout on stage, and that he was brought to the hospital in an unconscious state.’

Now this news elicits a mixed response from me because, on one hand, I am not at all surprised that he used drugs, but, on the other hand, judging from his performance photos, he seemed like someone who loved to be on the stage, and the fact that he consciously consumed drugs before going up there to perform in front of an ocean of his fans didn’t sit well with me. The immediate thought that rises to the top of my mind is that something definitely seems totally off about the entire situation.

The article further gives some details about the event, and it also includes statements from the doctor who treated him, and the reactions of the organizers as well as some of the fans who were present at the concert venue when he blacked out.

The Naver main page about him tells me how old he is and when he started his career and other details about his professional life that ended with a tragic blacklisting following his drug scandal. I am not at all surprised that I knew nothing about him because his career ended when I was just entering teenage and starting to explore.

The cup of noodles and the pack of gimbap is emptied, and I toss the disposables into the trash as I make my way back to the hospital. I proceed straight to the emergency ward where I find a couple of policemen waiting in the corridor outside while engaged in conversation with the emergency lady doctor from earlier.

My steps suddenly slow down, and I even contemplate fleeing the place as if I have committed some kind of criminal offense. But the doctor spots me before I could even react, and she motions for me to come closer by waving her hand at me.

“She’s the one who brought him here,” the lady doctor says to the policemen, and they both turn their heads to look at me while I stand anchored on my spot not knowing what kind of deep shit I’ve stuck my foot into.

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Published on : 01/02/2023