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WHAT AM I TO YOU?
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Taehyung

Once Woo-Bin and I are done smoking, I pop in a piece of gum as we exit the restaurant, looking for Yi-Seo. But the sight that we walk into isn’t something I expected in the least.

Yi-Seo looks panic-stricken, and there’s a man nearby who seems to be staggering around in pain with his back facing us. My eyes widen, and my pulse races, sensing that she was or probably still is in some kind of danger.

“What happened?” Woo-Bin asks me first while a middle-aged couple steps out of the elevator, casting questionable glances at us.

Everything happens in a matter of a few seconds, and before I could answer him, Yi-Seo grabs her purse from the floor and charges towards us and catches my wrist, yanking me with her into the elevator. Woo-Bin quickly follows us as well, and I watch how the guy in pain seeks support from a wall and whips his head around to look at us as the elevator door closes.

It takes me just one glimpse to identify the heaving beast as Jungkook, and my blood begins to rush in an instant.

I quickly press a few buttons in random order on the control panel of the elevator so that even if he decides to follow us down through the stairs or through one of the other elevators, which he most likely wouldn’t, he will never know which level we got down at.

Yi-Seo’s exhausted body slumps against the elevator wall beside me, and her chest rises and falls as she keeps trying to calm down; she closes her eyes and heaves a painful sigh. Woo-Bin and I exchange worried glances.

“Are you okay?” I ask her softly, my tone laced with concern and apprehension.

I want to hold her tight and warm and make her feel safe in my arms, but I don’t want to come across as if I’m using her vulnerability to my benefit.

“He... he tried to force himself on me. I punched him,” she says in a broken voice with her eyes still closed, and it makes my heart sink into my stomach.

My eyes flit between a dumbfounded Woo-Bin and a worn-out Yi-Seo.

“Looks like his future children are extinct already,” Woo-Bin exclaims, still in a shocked state, and it causes Yi-Seo’s eyes to flutter open.

A small smile pulls at the corners of her lips as the elevator halts briefly, and then her smile breaks into a fit of laughter right along with Woo-Bin, but I’m unable to take any of this as a joke and laugh together with them. I feel a little useless for being with her and still not being able to fend for her.

I wanted her to relax and have a calm evening away from all the usual chaos and tension, but this incident has just ruined it for her.

“Did he hurt you?” My grave voice interrupts their laughter, and Yi-Seo’s expressions freeze on me as she pushes herself off the elevator wall.

“No,” she says just above a whisper, shaking her head a little in denial.

I nod, looking away, and there’s an absolute quietness in the elevator as it halts at a few more levels before reaching the lobby, where we all step out of it. Keeping my hands inside the pockets of my suit pants, I walk in between the two of them as we silently stroll towards the parking area, and then Woo-Bin stops walking and turns to look at us.

“Stay safe, Yi-Seo,” he says to her, and she nods in response with a small smile.

“Take care, Taehyung. I will see you in the court tomorrow,” Woo-Bin pats my shoulder and walks away towards his car while unlocking it.

We both stand rooted on the spot, watching him drive away and out of our sight, and then Yi-Seo turns her head to look at me. Our eyes stay locked on each other, and I feel the rising urge to take her hand in mine and hold her close to me, but I don’t move an inch. Neither does she.

“Shall we leave?” She questions after a few seconds, and I agree with a small nod.

Once we’re inside her car, Yi-Seo drives in silence for a while, after which her hand reaches out to lower the volume of the already softly playing radio music.

“Can I tell you what happened?” Her voice is soft and calm, and it is so quiet that I can distinctly hear her breathing as well.

“Sure,” I answer, wanting to look at her but gazing blankly at the dark road ahead of us instead.

“Jungkook saw me when I was returning from the restroom, and he was just leaving the bar. He was fully drunk, but he still recognized me, and what I’m wearing,” her words draw my eyes to her, and I look her up and down to check if there’s something inappropriate about her dress.

I don’t find anything odd. The dress is pretty and modest as well. What the fuck did he have to say about it?

“What about the dress?” I ask her cluelessly.

“He gifted me this dress a few years ago, and today he started talking rubbish. I had to attack him for my own defense,” she admits, briefly turning to look at me.

“I was stunned. How did you attack him?” I lift my eyebrows at her.

“Taehyung-ssi,” Yi-Seo chuckles softly, “I trained in Taekwondo for twelve years, and my defense and reflexes are on point. Jungkook is also trained in Taekwondo, but he was not in a state to fight me today, and I used it to my advantage,” a proud smile forms on her lips as she fixes her glasses and keeps driving calmly.

“You’re a trained martial artist?” The information has definitely taken me by surprise.

“Yes, I am,” she confirms with a big grin.

“That’s amazing. You could be my bodyguard then,” I try to make a little joke, and it works because she laughs heartily, but I don’t, and I can never get over the look of dread that was grappling with her features when I saw her outside the restaurant. Even though she’s adept at Taekwondo and self-defense, she must have surely been startled by his sudden move.

We don’t speak anything more as we drive back home, and Yi-Seo neatly parks her car outside her home. Climbing out of the car, I wait for her while she gathers her bag from the backseat.

“Miss Kwon,” my voice sounds unintentionally louder, and she looks up at me as she slowly closes the car door and comes closer to me.

“Yes?”

“Does this dress mean anything to you now?” My question earns a little frown from her, and she cocks her head to one side.

“I made peace with my thoughts that it means nothing to me. It’s just a piece of clothing,” she sounds sure of herself when she says that with a firm nod of her head, her hands crossed under her chest. It is a positive affirmation for me that she has moved over him and the breakup because, unlike other times, she isn’t in tears when talking about Jungkook.

“That’s good to hear,” I nod my head a few times, weaving a hand through my hair. “Will you do me a favor?”

“Just like that?” She laughs softly, moving aside the hair strands that keep flying to her face.

“Rock, paper, scissors then?” I raise my eyebrows in question, matching her playfulness with a little smirk, and Yi-Seo straightens her posture enthusiastically.

And so, we stand in between the front porches of both our homes and begin a game of rock, paper, scissors, with just the moonlight and the soft nighttime breeze witnessing our little game. I usually never lose, but today, it seems like it’s her night. Yi-Seo wins, letting out a tiny triumphant squeal.

“Alright. I’ll do you a favor. Anything you ask of me,” I spread open my arms in defeat, giving her a big smile.

“Can I take away all your bottles of alcohol? Will you do me a favor by going cold turkey?” She states her wish without any hesitation, and it seems as if she has been mentally preparing for this moment for quite some time now.

However, her request seems too much for me to give in to, yet, I was the one who proposed this idea. And backing out now would make me a bummer, and I don’t want to be that.

“Just the alcohol?” My eyebrows lift in question, and she confirms, nodding.

“Umm… How about just tonight? You can take them away once I’m done tonight,” I suggest a slight change in her plan and look at her expectantly for a favorable answer.

Yi-Seo’s lips twist in contemplation, but she agrees in a few seconds by showing me her thumbs up.

“Alright. That sounds okay. But please wake up on time for court tomorrow.”

“You’re always welcome to stay over and wake me up,” I have no idea how I found the gutsiness to openly ask her to stay the night at my home when I’m in a sober state. But I’m not going to deny that I’m feeling a little proud of myself for doing it.

“Okay,” she laughs softly, and even though it is just the moonlight that’s guiding my vision, I can still see the visible blush glowing on her cheeks.

Yi-Seo waits in the living room while I gather all my bottles of alcohol—opened and unopened alike—and place them all on the dining table. It’s embarrassing to see such a huge exhibition that has even outnumbered the awards on the wall of my bedroom.

There’s a look of disappointment on Yi-Seo’s face as she studies the spread on the table with her sharp eyes. Pushing out a big puff of breath, her gaze then lifts to meet mine.

“Okay, just pick what you need for tonight and help me move the rest to my home,” I’m not going to lie, but the way she sounded a little commanding when she said that was so hot, and never before has she used such a tone with me.

I’m absolutely loving it though.

I pick out one bottle of whiskey that has just a little left in it, and together, we move all the remaining goods on the table to Yi-Seo’s living room. She organizes everything in one corner, and then we head back to my home.

After taking off my jacket, I roll up the sleeves of my shirt and settle down on one of the chairs at the dining table, as does she. This feels so much better because we’re closer to each other than we would be when I’m drinking on the couch.

As I pour out my drink, Yi-Seo sits by with her chin on her palm, watching me with a soft gaze.

“I feel bad for drinking alone. Please get yourself a bottle of juice,” I request her politely, and she obliges and leaves the table to help herself to a bottle of peach juice from the fridge.

We do a little ‘cheers’ before taking a sip of our respective drinks, and I’m not looking at anything else but her eyes as the alcohol slowly trickles down my throat.

Tonight, Yi-Seo looks so much more graceful than she usually does because she’s wearing a dress, unlike other times when she’d usually be wearing her baggy jeans or a pair of granny shorts teamed with oversized T-shirts. There’s so much femininity and softness that surrounds her, and I’m hoping that a few glasses of whiskey would help me find the courage to ask her for a dance right here.

“What is the favor that you wanted from me?” Her question makes my thoughts vanish.

“Are you curious?” I take another sip of the whiskey with my eyes still on her.

“Always,” her shoulders lift in a small shrug, and she’s also looking at me now.

“Alright,” my lips press into a thin line as I place my glass back on the table. “I have two favors to ask of you. Which one do you want to hear?”

“Both,” she declares confidently.

I’m so under-drunk to boldly ask her for a dance, but there’s no way out now.

So, taking a deep breath and pushing it out slowly, I rise from my seat and silently walk towards the record player that’s on the side table. From the huge collection of carefully curated records that I own, I pick out an old jazz record that has a compilation of many classic slow romantic melodies, and I gently pull the vinyl record out of its sleeve. Placing it on the turntable, I adjust the playback speed and slowly pivot the stylus to the edge of the record and lower it.

Once the music starts to play, I turn around with a satisfied smile and walk towards Yi-Seo, extending a hand to her when I get closer. “Dance with me, Miss Kwon.” The depth of my voice alongside the music in the background causes the hair on my forearm to raise, along with Yi-Seo’s eyebrows.

“What?” She laughs in an amused manner.

I don’t think of anything else as I take another step closer to her and gently remove the juice bottle from her hand and place it aside. Holding her hand in mine, I bring it to my lips and place a soft kiss on the back of her hand, coaxing her to get up, and she does, with her twinkling eyes dead set on me.

Taking a few steps away from the dining table, I softly wrap one arm around her waist and bring us closer while lacing my fingers through her slender ones. It feels like a dream to hold her in my arms like this, and I still can’t believe that this is happening. My thundering heartbeat testifies to this.

“Thank you,” I whisper to her as our bodies slowly sway from side to side, moving to the delicate rhythm sounding in the background. Her soft laughter fills the air where our breaths are mingling, and the sound of it is going to be my new favorite music until I hear something even better from her.

Her free hand which was too shy to touch me at first slowly lands on my shoulder and stays there. I don’t pull her closer or make any careless moves, rather, I’m falling deeper into the beauty of this moment and enjoying this precious dance with her. There’s so much that I want to tell her though, but the musical silence feels so satisfying at the moment.

“What was your other wish?” Yi-Seo questions me, her voice coming out just above a breathy whisper.

Despite my heart that is pounding violently, I dip my neck and lean closer to her ear to answer her question, whispering. “Don’t wear this dress again.”

When I lean back, I notice a slightly confused expression crossing her features.

“Is it because of Jungkook? Or does it look so hideous?” Yi-Seo laughs a little as we keep dancing slowly, and the sound of her laughter outdoes the melody in the background.

I shake my head lightly. “It’s doing things to me,” my voice deepens as all my senses awaken, and my fingers boldly curl over her waist, earning a soft gasp from her.

The voice inside my head is compelling me to kiss her right now because everything feels so perfect at the moment—she’s in my arms, looking irresistible, the night is still young, we’re dancing to a romantic tune, and most of all, I’m still sober, and I know what I’m doing.

“Do you know, the first day we met,” I take her back to the memories of the first day she came here and met me under unfortunate circumstances where I was attempting to end my life.

“Why did you do that?” Is all that she asks me, sliding her hand a little to the back of my shoulder in a soothing move. Even though we discussed this one day, I knew that the vagueness of my reply didn’t sit well with her, and now I’m ready to tell her what it was about.

“I couldn’t deliver my work to Hong-Cheul on time. It’s my only source of income, and I couldn’t write anything for a long time. That day it really felt like the end of everything,” I pour out, and my confession makes her expression grow sadder.

“You even attended the community meeting that evening,” Yi-Seo recollects, and I agree with a hum.

“I did, hoping to find a reason to give up on that thought. I couldn’t then, but things changed quickly…” I add, bringing a glimmer of anticipation in her eyes as she listens intently.

“The night after that, I wrote thinking about you… and my words just… flowed. And I wasn’t even drunk. You have no idea how that made me feel… how you made me feel,” even when I say this, I know that mere words will never serve justice to the euphoric sensation that engulfed me when thoughts about her and her kindness helped me overcome the long, unproductive lull and pull out so many deep emotions from the pits of my heart. And I even wrote something bright that night, after years of writing dark and sad words.

It was also after that night that my mind and heart were always looking for ways to allow her into my life.

“Isn’t it interesting? You’ve inspired me to write as well,” the smile that grazes her lips is something that’s going to carve itself into my memory and inspire many more beautiful words that are waiting to pour themselves out onto the lyric sheets.

Smiling softly, I lean closer and kiss her forehead, allowing my eyes to close and my lips to linger on her face for many seconds before I lift my head back again to look at her.

“It’s more than interesting…look where we are,” I utter softly with a small smile as I confidently tug her a little closer to me than she already is as we continue slow-dancing.

“You mean so much to me,” I say as I stare into her eyes that are stuck on mine.

Her hand glides to my chest, and she feels the pounding against her palm. The touch causes a heavy rush of blood within my veins, and I find it impossible to hold myself back from placing my lips to her temple and softly kissing my way to her cheek. My skin bristles and my breaths turn into sharp puffs as does hers when my cold fingers slide past the side of her neck and slowly glide into her silky hair.

Yi-Seo’s hand on me is pressing down harder against my hammering heart, even though she isn’t resisting. All my senses are awake, my heart is racing a mile a minute, and my eyes are closed as my lips trace their way close to hers, almost touching them in a tender kiss.

“We’re going to be in trouble tomorrow if we don’t get some sleep now,” Yi-Seo’s voice is a soft whisper, and I can feel the movements of her lips against my cheek.

Opening my eyes slowly, I lean back to see that it’s only her words which are telling us to move apart, but her eyes say otherwise.

“Really?”

“Mhm,” she nods a little hesitantly, but I give in, and I don’t force her to keep dancing because the night still belongs to her, and I want to let her win. If we stay close for longer, it might easily escalate into something bigger, and I don’t know if she’s ready for anything more tonight.

I silently release her from my arms and watch her as she slides her hands off me and takes a step back. Her eyes stay on mine as we part, and her cheeks are tinted with shyness.

“I’ll sleep on the couch. You can use my bed. Don’t worry, I won’t trouble you,” I assure her with a warm smile as I move back to my seat at the dining table.

“Good night, Taehyung-ssi,” Yi-Seo says, flashing a sweet smile at me.

“Sleep well, Miss Kwon,” I raise my glass at her as I go back to nursing on my whiskey while she walks into my bedroom and softly closes the door behind her.

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I think this is the longest chapter in Infamy, but it's the second among my most favorite ones.
😍😍💕💖🤧

Published on : 02/11/2023