Habitually, Saturday mornings were spent lounging in bed until noon.

It was one of the things Louis had looked forward to after a long week of work. Sleeping in a little longer and trying to avoid the world for a while. It's one the greater pleasures of life Louis would say and certainly the only that hasn't let him down.

Laying in bed doesn't mean he had to face those one sided feelings or a past lover that wanted to be mates. Nor did it mean hating every second of his shift on the job and feeling bad at the end because of one entitled customer. It's Louis oasis from it all, and he wouldn't trade it for the world.

Louis yawned, scraping his fingers through his soft fringe, staring up at his phone. It's going on ten, and he hadn't moved from his spot since he'd awoken. Having a bit of a group chat between Lottie and Fizzy; his sisters. Apparently, they wanted to blow up his phone at this ungodly hour because they still needed to get Jay a gift as her birthday was a little over a week away. So it looked like his morning lounge will be more hectic then he'd like. Then again, it was what he deserved, should've gotten his mum a nice card and present days ago, but no of course not. He'd been so busy himself trying to scrounge up whatever he could to pay his portion of the rent that's due. But of fucking course, he didn't keep track of his finances and went to the damn cinema with Niall to see Tomb Raider and then thought it was such a brilliant idea to go spend even more money on drinks at the pub.

What in the hell was he thinking?

It sucked, it really fucking blows he had to ask his mum for money to borrow the next time he will see her.

"When will I catch a break?" Louis groaned as he tossed his phone aside, pulling the blanket over his face.

He needed a fucking break already. Don't get Louis wrong, he loves his sisters dearly and would pretty much do anything for them, but it's too early for this shit. The day hasn't even started, and he's already stressed.

Figures, nothing ever goes Louis' way.

Then there was a knock against his door and Louis sighed, lowering the blanket from his head and it was Harry letting himself in.

"Hey," Harry murmured, stepping a little closer to the edge of Louis bed. He could see Harry's eyes searching his face for a moment. "Everything alright?"

Is it?

No, of course, it isn't, but he wasn't going to tell Harry that. Last thing he needed to do was have his flatmate worry because he's short changed at the moment. Because moving back to Doncaster had been put on the back burner for now.

Louis moved to sit up and scratched at his neck. "Yeah, just trying to think of a gift for mum."

It wasn't necessarily a lie, but it was all he could come up with at this moment.

"Maybe you could get her one of those handwritten bracelets?"

"Possibly, but I don't think she'd appreciate reading love you in my shit penmanship, Harold."

Harry chuckled, "It's the thought that counts, you know."

"But she's supposed to like it," Louis argued his point, pulling his blanket a little closer to him, the room feeling quit chiller. "I mean I could always settle with one of those sappy heart keepsakes to put on her bookcase."

"You could do that, I mean it's what Jay deserves after raising a Spitfire all these years." Harry quipped, there's a hint of a smile around his lips.

"You're such a dick." Louis said fondly, trying to bite back his smile.

Harry smirked, crossing his arms. "So other than being in an extra sassy mood today, I was hoping we could go for breakfast, if you're free."

It's not like Louis had anything better to do than stress over his financial woe's. Not only that, but it'd been a long time coming since the two of them just hung out. Went out, more so.

"It was absurd you think I actually have plans, of course, I'm free." Louis commented, wondering if he should wear something warm and cozy. After all, it was only breakfast.

Harry beamed.  "Great! We'll leave in fifteen, okay?"

Thank god, Louis needed to actually look somewhat presentable for the world.

Once Harry had left his room moments later, Louis wasted no time to quickly freshen up. Pulling on his nicest joggers and hoodie, not really caring about his second day wear of his top. Not like anyone would know any better...

Ending up pulling a beanie over his disheveled fringe before grabbing his wallet and leaving his room.

Hopefully, this breakfast outing would be good to him.

When they ended up at a little cafe on the outskirts of the city, Louis was just happy to have a nice hot meal in front of him. It was quiet between them, not having said much other than Harry mentioning that the dreary morning rain had cut his early morning jog with Liam short. Sometimes it surprised him how in the hell Harry could even function do such a strenuous task nearly every morning and on top of that head off to the gym. Louis doesn't understand it, and he doesn't think he ever will.

But it was safe to say, Louis liked this, sitting here with his best mate. As things with Harry had been different ever since a certain someone stormed out of Harry life two weeks ago. They had been spending significantly more time together, not all the time, but you get the jist. Whenever Harry was free, he'd come to Louis' room seeing what he's up to, both of them ending up at the pub pestering Niall with his boy troubles. Then they'd wound up back at the flat and just hang out. Whether it was films, board games, video games, etc. But there were some nights where Louis spent them alone with his phone pressed against his ear talking to Sean while everyone else did their own things. Which he did appreciate because sometimes he needed a moment, even if that meant shutting everyone out.  It's not that he didn't want to be around Harry or Niall, they were the closest things he had that were reminiscent of home. It's just... sometimes he was scared that he was opening his heart up too fast, worried he'd fall even more it goes on.

And Louis couldn't have that.

He loves Harry so much, and just the thought of having his heart torn into two again wasn't something he could deal with.

It was a quiet meal with his mate, swallowing down most of his hotcakes until Harry had actually broken the silence between them.

"So, don't be mad," Harry says, pausing to taking a sip of his coffee. "But, Gemma's coming to stay for the night for a trade show tomorrow."

"And why would I be mad about that?" Louis was confused, he liked Gemma. He basically considered her family and one of his good childhood friends. They may not be super close, but they text every now and again.

Harry popped some egg into his mouth before he revealed, "Well I sort of need to kick you out of your room just for tonight."

Louis furrowed his brows, setting his fork down, and wondered what was going on here.

"If you don't mind, that is."

"And where exactly will I sleep?"

Harry rubbed the back of his neck, "Well, I mean I was thinking you could bunk with me, you know like a sleepover."

Oh... oh.

It wouldn't be a lie to say Louis loved that idea, because fucking hell he does. Anyone in their right mind that got offered that by their crush would be jumping for joy. Waking up next to them and with the chance of a possible cuddle?  Louis couldn't help but want that. Like, he knows it's a one time thing nothing will come of it, that's why he wasn't denying himself. It's just, why wasn't she taking Niall's room?

Or better yet, not staying at a hotel?

Whatever the case, Louis already knew exactly when he wanted.

"Well as long she doesn't snoop around my things, then it's fine by me, Harold,"  Louis mentioned, wrapping his hand around his orange juice and brought it to his lips. Taking a sip and then added, " She better not be a spy of yours, or I'll raise hell on you both."

Harry shook his head, his expression soft, and Louis preened at himself for that look that was just for him. "And what exactly would I have Gems snoop around for?"

Louis shrugged, " I'm sure she'd find something to hold over my head."

"I mean I could have her save my Def Leppard shirt from your clutches, after all this time," Harry said archly, giving Louis a wink. " Unless you finally admit to wanting to have it for yourself."

"Oh please, this again?" Louis rolled his eyes, trying to stifle his smile from expanding because maybe there was a bit of truth there. He may haven't worn it since the first time, but something about having a piece of his best mate tucked away in his wardrobe somewhere, it held sentimental value to him. "Are you really this fussed over an old shirt?"

There was a shadow of a grin on Harry's face, wiping his mouth with the napkin in his hand.

"I mean..." Harry's voice trailed, and his eyes dragged down to his almost empty plate.

Louis schooled his face into faux-offense, his hand pressed against his chest. "Excuse me?" he demands. "Now you're blaming me of stealing?"

Harry flicked his gaze back up, god he was so fucking cute with him dimple and that ravishing smile. Fuck, shouldn't be feeling this enamored right now this early in the morning, it was lamentable.

Then his mate held up his hands in defense, and Louis was so fucked. "Hey, I'm not the one who said anything about thievery, Lou."

"But you implied it." Louis teased, swallowing down the rest of his juice.

Harry crossed his arms, leaning against the tabletop, and smiled down at his plate for a moment. His eyes eventually reaching back to Louis seconds later. "You're lucky that I adore you to let you keep it."

   Fuck.

Louis' heart swelled, and he hated the fact he wanted to squeeze himself into the chair beside his friend and nuzzle up to him. Tell him he thinks the world of him, and yet he can't seem to do that. Not when Harry's excusing himself suddenly to the toilets and leaving him all alone to eat the last of his already cold pancakes.

Now that he was alone with his thoughts as he stared out the window their table sat in front of, watching the rain fall onto the pavement. Thinking of later in the day when they're settled into bed and endlessly talking like they used to when they were younger. The happier times in Louis' life where he wasn't afraid to let Harry in and tell him his deepest secrets. Not having to worry about spilling out your feelings to your best mate and your heart in overdrive because their touching you. Not wanting to be his.

If only Louis could turn back time...

But it doesn't matter anyway, because he's the one fucked over his fragile heart, hoping he'd be loved.

They made a promise to one another, but it was a little too late to fix it.

Louis soon heard a voice that pulled him from his thoughts, breaking his gaze and staring at Harry who slid back into his seat. Scraping his fingers through the mop of curls on his head with an unreadable expression written across his face.

"Everything okay?" Harry asked, his eyes searching Louis' face.

"Yeah, 'm fine, " Louis lied, no need for his mate to know how he's truly feelings. "Just thinking about what I'm gonna do for mum."

Harry gave him a small smile. " Maybe we could go shopping together sometime this week? Two heads are better than one, right?"

Louis did like that idea, it'd been ages since they actually went out on a jaunt that didn't involve the pub or quaint cafe. It'd be refreshing, and maybe Harry could help him too.

"True, but I hope you're not expecting me to put your name on her birthday card." Louis quipped, trying to liven his mood up a little. "I mean I get that she considers you like a second son, but that's my role, pal."

Harry giggled, ugh Louis could feel his heart just swooning in his chest. "I think someone's a little jealous I'll steal the spotlight from him."

"Pfff, yeah right. Me? Jealous?"

Harry and his stupidly smug face giving him a dismissive nod, who does he think he is? And where does he get off thinking its okay to look like that? Louis' fucking dying on the inside.

"Jerk." Louis mumbled, looking away briefly, his stomach was a fluttery mess. Looking back at Harry out the corner of his eyes and smiling.

It times like these that Louis thinks how stupid it is that they're not together. They banter efforestly and hardly ever run out of things to talk about. They could have a good laugh over stupid bullshit and actually make fun out of a boring situation. Yeah, they've had some rocky spots in their friendship through the years, but they always come back together. Even when they used to hook up and stopped out of the blue, they stayed friends.

Maybe not as close as they were before, but they never lost that part.

Like, he knew obviously his feelings wouldn't ever be returned because let's face it, Harry wouldn't've waited this long to be with him.

And it was one of the worst feelings in the world.

The rest of their breakfast goes smoothly, Harry mainly talked about how his sister would be down around five and if he should just get pizza later. You know for an easy dinner since all the focus should be on Gemma showing up midday. Not that Louis had any complaints, he was actually looking forward to some company and an excuse to be near his mate.

Eventually, they ended up leaving the small cafe and headed back to their quiet flat. Where they could hear Niall snoring from his bedroom. Harry had already started to tidy up around the living room and Louis being the lazy bum he was going to hop right back into bed, nestling under his array blankets. Kind of almost wishing he had a warm body beside him to nuzzle up with, but unfortunately life sucked, and all he had was pillows to suffice.

Being single didn't have all the perks a relationship had, does it?

He had no one to hold him close and kiss him on the forehead. To hold his hand and lay with him for hours. It would be a lie to say Louis didn't crave any of that, because he does. Yeah, he can do just fine being single and not wanting to give his heart another go around. It's just sometimes it'd be nice to you mattered enough to someone. To have that someone who wanted to do that with you, and Louis was envious of anyone that had gotten that.

Sometimes he wondered somewhere in the sea of the bitterness if he'd ever be loved.

Up until Gemma had arrived later that day, Louis had been ghost. Falling in and out sleep to hitting post limit on Tumblr, and even watching a couple of cheesy rom-com films. Thank god everyone left him alone, despite the text he'd received from Zayn wondering when he'd come down to the barber shop for a haircut. It was nice, even if part of him wanted a bit of company, he appreciated the space. But eventually, his solitude came to an end when Harry's sister barged into his room unannounced and her suitcase rolling behind her.

"Well, well, well look who we have here," Gemma said whimsically, her eyes on Louis who was getting off the bed. Doing his best at smoothing out the sleeves to his hoodie. "Miss me?"

Louis smirked, he always liked to repartee with Gemma. "You wish I did."

Gemma scoffed, "Is that how you talk to your guest of honor?"

Harry was leaning against the bedroom door, arms crossed, and the biggest fucking smile on his face. Louis had a feeling it'd be a decent night, with a start like this.

"Only for you, love." Louis beamed, his eyes darting to Harry for a moment and he felt heat coloring his cheeks when his mate winked at him. Harry really needed to stop doing that because it's going to a be a problem.

The corners of Gemma's eyes crinkled when her smile stretched across her face. "Get over here."

Louis tittered, already striding towards Harry's sister and being pulling into a hug that nearly lifted him off the ground. Gemma practically breaking her damn back squeezing him tight like she hadn't seen in him years. Well, the last time he seen' her was for Jay and Anne's traditional Christmas Eve dinner, but still. Thankfully Gemma's death grip had loosened and put him down.

"Still have that iron grip, I see." Louis quipped, earning a chuckle from the beautiful boy across the room. Gemma rolled her eyes, not too pleased with those choice of words.

"Fuck off." Gemma snarked, shaking her head as she set her suitcase onto Louis' messy bed. "I better not be lying in filth tonight, god knows what you've done in this bed." It was a remark that had nothing but playful undertones, because that's who Gemma was; cheeky. That's one of the reasons they got on so well, other than being forced into each others lives growing up, she was a breath of fresh air. Louis loved all of his mates dearly and cherished each and every single one of them, it's just the fact that not everyone can appreciate the same kind of humor they had, so it was nice.

Not only that, but he considered her family.

"Oh, wouldn't you love to know, Gems." Louis said puckishly, already veering towards the door. Trying to bite back the smile wanting to spread across his face when Harry followed him out of the room.

And truthfully, Louis had a feeling that this evening would be a good one.

After Gemma had been settled in and the pizza had been delivered, the trio had sat down at the table to swallow down their dinner. Niall had eventually rolled out of bed and joined them, scarfing down half of a fucking pizza like his life depended on it. Louis sometimes was amazed that his mate could even stomach such a sizeable portion like that after sleeping his day away. Shit, himself at least needed to have at least half an hour to wake up before even thinking about food.

Then again, he remembered his teenage years and how there was plenty of midnight snacks before bed, so he really didn't have room to talk.

But other than Niall's happy appetite, they had gotten to hear Gemma talk about what had been going on in her life. Mostly going on about her job as a dental hygienist and how much she's always loved it. Well other than some drama that happens between her fellow colleagues at times., but that almost came with any job. Then eventually she changed the topic on to how she's excited about that Wedding Fayre tomorrow.

But, Harry wasn't.

"Wait... You're going to a wedding show?" Harry asked, sounding absolutely stupefied. "Why?"

Gemma sighed at that, clearly not too impressed with the fact her brother hadn't been listening. "Yeah, I told you this was an important event for my future, not even three days ago."

"You're not even engaged, Gemma." Harry pointed out, well he wasn't wrong, the poor girl didn't even have a significant other.

"So?" Gemma was getting awfully defensive about her life decisions and Louis' been there, done that. "What exactly did you think I had come here for?"

Harry opened his mouth about to say something, but ended up closing it.

"Exactly," Gemma stated, leaning back in her chair with a gleam in her eyes. "Clearly you hadn't been listening to anything I told you, not that I'm surprised.."

Harry rolled his eyes, pushing out of his spot, and went over to the fridge. Louis could faintly hear him muttering under his breath: "Whatever."

"Who knows, maybe you'll run into a lonely, arrogant businessman that'll want to sweep you off your feet, you know like in those corny romance films." Louis pointed out. Earning a small chuckle from Niall. At least he thought it was brilliant.

"A girl can dream," Gemma commented with a small pout before she leaned forward once again, her arms resting on the table, and eyes on Louis. "Then again, if anyone needs a powerful strapping guy to take care of them, it's you, Lou."

"In and out of the bedroom, if you know what I mean." Niall added for good measures, nudging Louis into the side.

"Right. Because I need dick to get on with my life," Louis shook his head, watching when Harry moves back into his spot on the other side of him with a glass of coke. Seemingly quiet while he takes a sip of his drink. But Louis rips his gaze away and focuses back onto the conversation at hand; his love life. Fucking fantastic.

"I mean, it's been a while, right?" Gemma asked, lifting her brow.

"What do you mean?"

"Sex, duh."

Louis swallowed, had it been a significant amount of time? Yeah, most definitely. The last person he'd been with was right fucking next to him, and Gemma can't know about that. Surely, they weren't going to share the news with Niall and Gemma, two years later. Besides the last time Louis checked, Harry and him had never actually discussed it. Them. Their past and if they'd ever decided to tell anyone. Ever since Ellie had come into the picture, it'd been swept under the rug.

As far as anyone knew that hadn't a clue, they would've thought it was Sean.

"Uh, yeah, it has." Louis answered timidly, feeling his cheeks warm up. Flinching when Harry started coughing after taking another sip of his fizzy drink.

"Geeze did you inhale it over there, H?" Niall teased, his hand now on Louis' shoulder. "Don't worry, Lou. It's been a while for me too."

Louis appreciated Niall attempt to make him feel better, truly he did, but it's not that he's deprived of a good shagging. It's more than sex, more than wanting have lips pressing burning kisses along his collar bones, or fingers twisting in his hair. Louis wants to be somebody's purpose, the love of their life, and sleeping around with some horny man at the pub wasn't that.

"I'm not saying it's a bad thing, boys," Gemma explained. "But, it can do wonders."

Maybe it can do magical things for Harry's sister, but Louis wasn't interested. He had only been with two guys intimately, where they went all the way. Okay, maybe Aaron (another one of his ex-boyfriend's) and him did a bit of petting more times than he could count on his fingers, but that was pre-Sean and Harry. But still, sex was wonderful and all, but the next time it would happen wouldn't be until it was going to feel right.

Harry groaned, his eyebrows pinched together  "Gemma, I really don't want to hear about this."

"Relax, Harry. All I'm trying to say is, is that I think it'd be good for Louis to go find himself a man that'll give him one of the hottest nights of his life."

"And suddenly my life is turning into a terribly written erotic novel, apparently," Louis remarked. He heard Harry let out a heavy sigh beside him and Louis braved a passing glance to his mate, his jaw was clenched, and his eyes were downcasted to his almost gone drink.

Not like it should matter to Harry anyway, he's free to do whatever the hell he pleases. After all, they're just best mates, right?

"I'm with Gemma on this one, Lou.  I think me and you need to cruise the pubs or somethin'." Niall really should just stop right there, because of hell no. "I mean, one of us is bound to find a nice gentleman."

Louis glared at Niall, not appreciating that leaving his mouth, because no way was that happening. Not ever!

"I thought you were on the one way Donovan train, Niall?" Harry finally spoke up, and Louis could feel a sudden weight against the back of his chair. A gentle caress that may or may not had been intentional against his arm had sent Louis' heart into overdrive.

Louis was so fucked.

"Of course I am, but I have needs." Niall's explained and Louis hoped that one day his mate would realize his crush may be just a pipe dream.

But that just made Louis into a damn hypocrite because he had wishes too that seemed so far fetched. They both deserve to be exiled and trapped on a tropical island for the next ten years to get their shit together. Maybe it'd be for the best, honestly.

But sadly, Louis and Niall had to deal with the real world, and it's unfortunate events.

"Oh god, please tell you've already banged him, you've been infatuated with him for years." Sadly, Gemma was going to be gravely disappointed in that status quo.

"Well, actually-" Niall started to say, but Louis wanted to be a smart arse and decided why the hell not, and spoke over his friend.

"Niall's gotten himself a boyfriend, his names John," Louis smirked when Niall grimaced, probably not too happy. Whatever, it's not like Gemma would share that with the world and besides Niall had no problem bragging about his make believe boyfriend before. So what's different about it now?

"Wait, what?" Gemma asked, she looked shocked, bamboozled, not expecting that to come out of Louis' mouth. "You never said anything about a John, Ni."

Harry tittered, and Louis tried his damn hardest not to let the corners of his lips curve into a smile when he stuffs his hands into the pockets of his hoodie.

And, so Niall told Gemma the story about how Louis had given him the idea of making the heartthrob jealous and all the other asinine detail. Which surprisingly Gemma didn't criticize him and just decided that Niall was this mastermind. Louis thought they were both mad and Harry did too, telling Gemma not to encourage him, but she didn't listen. Neither of them did, making a plan on how to win the guy like some cheesy cliche romance film. Like, bringing his fake boyfriend to work and have him break up with Niall in front of the lad. Just to break him from that terrible lie. Thank fuck, they eventually put all the delusional imaginary relationship stuff to bed and decided on busting on Niall's cards, playing some rounds of euchre for the rest of their evening. Which was nice, they ended up chatting about the past while munching on some buttery popcorn. Laughing over the dumb shit they used to do, and this was nice. When Niall told them at some point that he missed their younger days, Louis couldn't have agreed more.

And when Harry said he would've done things differently as his eyes wandered to Louis for a moment, he did too.

During sometime of the last round, Louis' phone started to buzz in the pocket of joggers, not hesitating to check it, and nearly losing his breath because Sean had wanted his attention. Mainly wondering what he'd been up to, and Louis quickly texted him back. Getting his mind right back into the game and trying his damn hardest not to seem phased by who had just messaged him.

Last thing he needed was this night to erupt into a furor.

Which was easier said than done because apparently Sean was bored and had nothing better to do than pester him. Not that Louis was complaining, because things with Sean had been okay... somewhat. They probably text more than Louis would've liked, but who's to say he doesn't like it?

It was nice to have someone wondering how you've been and how was your day. It's been so long since he had someone interested in his life like that, and weirdly enough it's the same person who's been here before. And fuck, Louis knows it's a bad idea to keep responding whenever his phone went off and masking away a smile when Sean had typed something kittenish. Honestly, he should just chuck his phone against the wall and hope it never works again, because he's a damn fool.

But, it is what it is.

At some point after they cleaned up their messes and decided on bidding goodnights to one another, as Gemma had a long day and was utterly exhausted. Not only that, but Niall he had plans to go meet up with Zayn and Liam to go down to the pub for a bit.

Louis could only guess the reason why...

So that just left Harry to be his source of entertainment for the remainder of the night. Which meant them sharing a bed and Louis possibly losing his mind.

Maybe it won't be so bad though, he's fallen asleep with Harry before, mostly unintentional. But what if... he strips down to those fitted boxers that left little to the imagination? Not that he hadn't been acquainted with his best mates body before, as he's gotten see his all of him. Touched all of him. It worries him that he won't be able to control himself and do something idiotic. Last thing he needs is this sleepover to turn awkward.

Louis needed to gird his loins because he had an inkling at some point or another he may just crack.

Crawling under the covers and nestling against the plushness was nice. He felt warm and comfortable, and never wanting to leave his spot. The blankets smelt wonderful; they were redolent of Harry. Louis wanted nothing more than his mate beside him, fingers in his hair, and just forgetting the world.

Louis craved to feel his heartbeat next to his.

Yet, he laid their alone for a while because Harry took his nightly shower, leaving him to his phone. Messaging Sean and scrolling through Tumblr, unsure what to really even post. After Ellie had revealed herself as M, he'd been hesitant. Not that you could blame him, what if she told someone about his secret online life? He doesn't want to delete bluevelvet, hell no. It's his lifeline, his safespace.

And no one could take it from him.

Maybe in a weeks time, it'll feel okay to blog his feelings again.

Then at some point, Louis had thumbed down to a quote that had hit him in the heart.

   Loving you was the most exquisite form of self destruction ~ D.J.

Because loving your best friend that didn't feel the same way and wasn't something you should hold on to, but you love them too much to let go.

Louis hoped maybe one day he could...

Then he gets a text notification from his ex-boyfriend asking him to send a picture and the bedroom door swinging open. Louis can't fucking breathe. Harry's all joggers and skin, and it shouldn't be allowed. Not tonight. Not when they're sharing a damn bed.

Oh, how Louis had hoped his mate would locate his shirt soon, because this may be a problem.
He tried not to stare at the way droplets of water had dripped from his hair down to every dip and curve of his chest. Louis did his damndest not let his eyes follow him around the room, and lick his lips. Not to feel on fire because of the way Harry's sweats accentuated his arse in the most delectable way.

God, this wasn't going to be easy, was it?

"So I was thinking we could either watch some films or just talk, it's totally up to you, Lou," Harry finally broke the silence, busy messing with his wardrobe, the glancing over towards the bed with a small smile. "Unless you've gotten a better idea."

Honestly, he didn't give a shit what they did because any sort of distraction was best.

Louis swallowed, not allowing his eyes to trail down Harry's backside any longer and snapped them up. Praying Harry hadn't noticed. Then he said nonchalantly: "I'm up for whatever, honestly. I'm just expecting to be entertained since this was your bright idea or else I'll go bunk with Niall."

"Is that a threat?" Harry asked, and there's a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Louis smirked. "Do you want it to be?"

Harry opened his mouth for a moment and then closed it, shaking his head and focusing back onto what was in front of him. But Louis could see the trace of a smile around the corner of his lips.

He laid there and watched his friend for a moment, Harry was pulling out his uniform, probably for his shift tomorrow at the pet hospital. Louis hoped he wouldn't wake up to empty spot beside him. Maybe, Liam would cancel his morning jog with Harry before work, it's selfish he knows, but it'd be wonderful to have his mate close for a little longer.

If they were together, it'd be his reality. But, it wasn't, and since they're doing this sleepover thing, he wanted it so bad. So fucking bad  because he's almost afraid he may never have that chance again.

Louis sighed, his eyes back onto the screen of his phone and finally texting Sean back, saying he wasn't exactly at his best to send a decent photo. Hopeful the man would accept it and move on, he didn't feel like sending any part of himself to his past boyfriend.  They're supposed to be taking this slow.

But Sean apparently never got the memo and decided to take it upon himself and sent a photo. Louis hated the fact his whole body started to feel tingly at the shirtless photo. God, his ex-boyfriend, was trying to murder him, thinking it was okay to send something like that. Gym shorts that hung dangerously low and his muscles on display, and his body glistening. He probably had been working out while they texted and decided to show off. God, Louis didn't want to admit he found it hot, just pretend it doesn't affect him at all and go about his day, but no.  There's no denying that the attraction was still there, regardless whether he liked it or not.

It's not fair; first Harry had come waltzing in with no shirt covering his body and now Sean. It was like someone had it out for Louis and intentionally wanted him to combust.

Louis didn't know what to even say about that photo, he'd been so caught off guard and just fucking ogled it.

And if his heart couldn't take anymore stress, he felt weight dip into the mattress beside him and quickly shut off his phone. Heat inching to his cheeks, almost afraid Harry had seen that incriminating evidence and thinking he really is seeing someone discreetly.

"So what do you think?" Harry asked, and Louis wasn't sure if his mate was referring to the picture or not.

Louis swallowed and flicked his gaze towards Harry and stifled back a whimper. Of course, he wasn't going to spare Louis' life and covered those heavenly abs of his. Almost as if Harry knew, just fucking knew what he was doing to him.

Fuck his life.

"What do you mean?" Louis asked in a murmur, curling his fingers into the blanket to control his urge to reach over and touch.

Harry cocked his brow, staring at him for a second before saying, "About what you want to do."

Oh...

"Um, whatever your up for, as long as I don't get bored." Louis teased, feeling his phone buzz in his hand and gave it a passing glance when his screen lighted up. Breath hitching when he sees the text notification from Sean. Which was totally not the right time because his friend could have seen. Louis hastily flopped it down onto his stomach, screen side down because now wasn't the right time to tell Harry.

Louis hesitantly snapped his eyes back onto Harry, trying to gauge his reaction. Hoping maybe Harry hadn't got to look at his screen long enough to notice the familiar name or even just the message in general.

But of course, nothing ever goes the way Louis hoped it would...

"Who was that?"

"Just-" Louis was at a loss for words right now and how more obvious could it be that he was talking to someone in secret. He didn't know if it was his nerves or what, but he couldn't seem to just come up with a decent lie. Usually, he'd use his sisters as scapegoats, but being caught on the spot with a bit of a dazed mind wasn't helping his case.

"Was it that guy from uni?" Harry asked, his eyes gazed to the mobile on Louis' chest for a moment before they were back on his.

Would it be that bad to lie again? After all, he'd met Sean at uni, so it wasn't exactly all false.

"Yeah," Louis murmured, curling his hand around his phone and stuffed it into his pocket, he'd get back to Sean later.

"Do I know him?" Harry proceeded to be a nosy bastard, and Louis just hoped he could pull this off.

"Um... yeah, I mean you both weren't like best mates or anything, but you knew of him," Louis hated this. "We used to party with him," He really fucking hated this. "Well... I did."

Harry furrowed his brows, looking to be thinking quickly before he said, "Was it, Matty? As I'm pretty sure he had a thing for you."

Ah, how could he forget about that guy?

One of Sean's closest friends from uni that tried to take Louis back to his for the night days before the night he'd met Sean. Weirdly enough. He was cute, but a major dickhead that only cared about getting his knob wet. Louis remembered that time the guy had flirted with him even after he'd gotten with Sean, his mate!

But Louis shouldn't have been surprised... Sean wasn't any different.

"You honestly think I'd be messaging him? He was a total sleazebag, Harold."

"He was a bit philanderer, wasn't he?"

Louis snickered, "You had no idea."

He remembers one night, he had been with Sean for a little over six months and Matty had approached Sean one day. Asked him if they ever decided to spice up the bedroom, give him a ring because he'd love to join. Louis did not want anything to do with that creep from that day forward because for one he was a virgin then that had limited experience. Secondly, he'd never in a million years would do something like that.

Not even now, he wouldn't.

More power to all the people that enjoy that activity, but it wasn't for him. Thank god, Sean never talked him into either because who knows what he would've gotten.

"But seriously, can you at least tell me who it is that's gotten you so captivated with that phone of yours lately?" Harry inquired, rolling onto his side to face Louis. Burying half of his face into the pillow as he picked at the loose threading of his blanket, curious eyes still on him.

"You're really hung up on this aren't you?" Louis wondered if he played it coy, Harry would eventually get bored and stop prying. "It's literally not that serious, he's just a friend."

Harry stared at him for a moment and then commented, "But do you like him?"

Louis pulled the blanket even closer. "No, of course not."

"Then why are you being so secretive about it?" Harry quipped, the corners of his lips sliding upward. "I mean unless you're in denial."

Louis scoffed, "Me, in denial?" and then he puts on a  defensive face. " Yeah, right."

"Then you have no problem telling me who he is." Harry truly wasn't going to stop, was he?

"If you keep pestering about it, I may never tell you, how about that?" Louis threatened playfully, burying his fingers into the blanket even more. "But anyway, how about we watch a film, yeah?"

Louis just needed to get far away from this topic and fast. Maybe distracting Harry enough with a movie would do just that, he could only hope.

"Well if you ever wanna gush about this mystery man, I'm all ears, hon." Harry finally gave up, thankfully. "Even though it's going to drive me mad not knowing who's causing that smile almost every time you stare at that phone, I suppose I can wait."

Harry then got off the bed and went to mess with his DVD player, and Louis just laid there trying to pick apart his mates words. It was worrying him, he wasn't grinning at every text was he? He doesn't like Sean in that way, sure maybe some of the things he says are sweet and are worth smiling over, but it doesn't mean anything, right?

Sean was nothing more than a budding acquaintance, that's it.

Maybe Harry had only caught Louis on the times he was smiling down at the screen, like it made the most sense to him.

Whatever though, it's really not that big of a deal.

By the time Harry had decided to do a marathon of the Back To The Future  trilogy and crawled back into bed after hitting the lights. It was nice. The films were quite funny, and true classics. He was warm and comfortable. Happy and actually laughing over the dumbest stuff. Even got to steal glances at his friend every now and again without having that worry he'd be caught. So that was definitely a win-win.

But in the midst of all that, Louis wanted to cuddle. He wanted to reach over and pull Harry close. Wrap his arms around him and nestle his face into chest Pressing a soft kiss against his skin. To feel like nothing it the world could harm him and that maybe things won't be so bad. He wanted to feel greedy for affection and attention. But, at some point during the last film, Harry had rolled to the other side and fell asleep. Louis was left with a view of a bare back beside him and the rest of the scenes playing out on the telly screen.

Ending up turning off the movie, the room dark and chilly. He tried to drift off, but he couldn't. Wide awake and too much on his mind, Louis ended up messing with his phone and finally responding back to those messages he'd received earlier.

That text he'd received from Sean after the picture indent was just him asking to send a photo once again, nearly begging. Louis didn't understand why his ex-boyfriend needed to see his face so badly, all he had to do was go Instagram and scroll until he finds a pretty picture. And no, Louis most certainly did not  stare at that shirtless photo again and look at every detail. He ended up typing out to Sean that he doesn't look his best and preferred not to scare him. Not even giving a single compliment on the photo because he can't let his ex-boyfriend know anything about his thoughts on that.

Louis didn't think he'd get a response hours later when it was practically midnight, as he was sure any right minded person would be conked out if they didn't work. But to his surprise, his response was immediate.

Almost as if he'd been waiting around for Louis to message him back.

' Sean: Nonsense, you're handsome to me.  I want to see you. '

And there he goes tossing the compliments around once again.

Louis was in the middle of typing out that he'd send one tomorrow, but then Sean proceeded to send a second text.

'Sean:  Maybe you won't have to send anything if  I can convince you to come with me for a walk? I can't sleep. '

Uh, what?

It's the middle of the night and probably freezing. Sean apparently is up for a late night stroll around the city and who knows what else.

Like, it's tempting, Louis wasn't going to lie about that. He couldn't fall into slumber either and maybe a walk would be good to clear his head. On the other hand, he didn't want to leave his spot, didn't want to be far away from the one man he loved the most. He was conflicted and left Sean on read for a bit, pinching his bottom lip.

And then Sean sends another text.

' Sean:  I promise I won't keep you out all night, just for a little while.'

Louis sighed and rubbed his hand through his hair. Would it be so bad to go for one walk with his ex? Sean did say he only wanted his company for a while and that meant he'd stop asking for pictures. Not only that but Harry would be here when he got back, so in the end, he decided to finally give in and told Sean he'd meet him outside the Liverpool Parish Church.

Until then, Louis laid in bed just a little longer before he carefully crawled out, not wanting to wake Harry. Closed the bedroom door behind him and went to put on his shoes. Locking the door on his way out and went down the corridor to the lift. Hoping this wasn't a poor decision he was making.

Ten minutes later, Louis was stood under a street lamp by the substantial stone wall, hands shoved into the pocket of his hoodie. Sean wasn't here yet and Louis just stood there and watched the street light frantically turn red. The vehicles that had came to a slow stop and the white cloud of exhaust that plumed from them. Trying to ignore the cool mist blowing against his skin.

Then suddenly he felt something on the small of his back and nearly jumped out of freight. Glancing over his shoulder and there was Sean beside him. Looking warm in his peacoat and his hair well-coiffed into a contemporary comb over. Louis wondered if Sean had gotten all gussied up to see him.

"Didn't mean to frighten you, babe." Sean laughed, his hand fallen off Louis'  body.

Louis crossed his arms and smiled at the ground. "Fuck off, it's not funny." but there were feet in front of him and fingers touching his chin. Making him glance up into those hazel eyes that had a flicker of warmth in them.

"But it was, probably thought I was going to rob you or something." Sean teased and heat colored Louis' cheeks. "But I'm just happy you decided to come out and do this with me."

"You're welcome." Louis said, his arms fallen slack at his sides and the fingers on his chin are no longer on his face.

And then Sean's nodding for him to follow, and Louis did, falling into step with him as they strolled down the vacant pavement. Enjoying the massive lit up buildings and the star-speckled sky.

It was surprisingly quiet between them and Louis had wondered if Sean was only in need of company. After all, he was just as social if not more than Louis. Or maybe he needed to destress since he's such a serious barrister and all.

Whatever the case, this was nice.

Louis' fingers were starting to feel cold the longer they moved and the wind brushed against him. But it wasn't bad, he could deal with it. Much better than those dreary winter nights.

"By the way, you look cute," Sean broke the silence between them, and Louis could feel his eyes on him. "Like I've told you hundreds of times, you've always been gorgeous to me."

Louis swallowed as he glanced at Sean for a moment, "Thanks." It came out in more a whisper because this whole ex-boyfriend complimenting thing was starting to get out of hand. However, Louis had yet to tell Sean to cut it out and maybe that's because a small part of kind of him loved it.

"You know," Sean started to say and Louis nearly had a heart attack when he felt something grab his wrist gently. Not expecting the sudden contact and being slowed to a stop right under another street light. "We may not be as close anymore, but I know you well enough to know that when your quiet, something's not right."

Well, Sean wasn't wrong about that.

"Everything okay?" Sean asked, now in front of Louis, hand still on his wrist.

Louis rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand and decided he could at least tell Sean one minor inconvenience of his life. Maybe then Sean would leave the subject alone and finish up the rest of their walk around the city.

"Well, mum's birthday's coming up and I have to take a chunk out of my rent money to get her something decent." Louis really didn't want to ask his mum for money, he'd always felt so guilty for not being responsible enough to budget. "It's been wearing on my mind all day since the girls texted  me this morning."

Sean frowned, "How much are you lacking?

"A lot." He kept it as vague as possible because it was kind of embarrassing.

Then Sean had finally let go of his wrist and shoved his hand into his pocket, pulling out his wallet, and easily handing Louis a generous amount of money. Like it wasn't a big fucking deal.

"Sean..." Louis started to say, handing it back to him, but his ex-boyfriend shook his head and pocketed his wallet.

"Keep it, I rather you not be homeless or your mates angry with you because you wanted to get something nice for Jay." Sean insisted to for Louis to keep his hard earned money, like who even does that? Now Louis was definitely feeling guilty. "Consider it a gift."

"I can't accept this, it's my fault I didn't keep track of my finances." Louis hoped Sean would just take his damn money back.  "I don't know when I'll be able to pay you back."

Sean sighed. "Lou, don't worry about it, I have more than enough money with no one to spend it on, so I don't mind. Really." Ugh, this was terrible, Louis just didn't like this at all. "Besides, if it makes you feel to guilt ridden, you can always make it up to me by coming over for dinner one of these days."

Louis pushed the money into the pocket of his hoodie knowing it was a lost cause to keep begging for Sean to take the cash. On the brightside, he would have enough to cover his portion of the rent and save the rest for later. Yet, he knew this will haunt him for a long time.

"Okay, " Louis murmured when Sean stepped a little closer. His fingers touching Louis' fringe and pushing it off his face. Fingers splayed against his cheeks and a tender kiss pressed to his forehead.

Louis's heart was in his throat because he didn't want to feel like this, he wanted to hate every second of this. Sean's touch and his affection. Louis wanted to push him away and tell him to stop it, but he couldn't seem to force himself to do it. It tugged at his heart's strings and yet, made him feel warm at the same time.

It was one of the bittersweet moments of theirs.

Then Sean pulled away and stuffed his hands into his peacoat, giving Louis a small smile. "No more worrying, everything will be fine."

Louis had hoped Sean was right.

After that, they continued on with their walk, no longer silent between them as Sean did most of the talking. Telling Louis all about his plans in December to go on a month long holiday to travel to the states. Mentioning he'd been saving for a while and thinks this is the year and winter would be perfect. Louis thought he was fucking out of his head, a month long vacation? How could he even do that? Would Sean have to quit his job?

But apparently, it was not a problem since Sean seemed too excited about it, mentioning how he'll be doing all these things like going to Grand Canyon, Los Angeles, and Las Vegas. It all made Louis feel so envious in a way because who wouldn't?

In a sense, Louis knew if they had stayed together all this time, he'd get to enjoy stuff like that. Going on adventures and not having to worry about being broke for the next year.

Yet, things happened for a reason and they just didn't seem to work.

Eventually, the conversation shifted onto Louis, Sean had asked him about how're things with his mates and family. Louis told him things were fine, the girls and Jay were good. Then telling him that his friends were having great lives, that Zayn and Liam were going to Greece in the summer, Harry (who he did not say anything about his feelings for) and him were still close as ever, and then going into the whole Niall and Donovan thing.

Louis explained everything and Sean just chuckled and shook his head. Saying he hoped Niall would end up with this guy, after all, that trouble he was going through, and Louis did too.

Then Sean decided to change the subject onto something else. "And how're you? Things going okay?" Sean asked, as they walked along the faded zebra crossing. "Other than your financial mishap."

Louis gnawed on his lip as they stepped onto the pavement and meandered down the desolate sidewalk.

"Just living life to the fullest, you know, working myself to the bone." Louis deadpanned, giving Sean a passing glance.

Then Sean stared at Louis and frowned. "I meant other than work, darling."

Well then... His ex-boyfriend was going to be gravely disappointed if he was expecting exciting things.

Louis flicked his gaze back up to Sean for a brief second as they passed under the puddle of soft yellow light. Thinking for a moment before he said: "Well, I guess just been spending most of my time with my mates when they're not busy, I guess."

"You guess?"

"My life isn't exactly adventurous as I think you were hoping it'd be." And that was the cold hard truth. If Louis had a decent pay, of course, he'd do all the things he wished he could. It's just the sadness of his reality. "I don't exactly have the funds to go out and about five nights a week."

Sean sighed. Louis didn't understand why he cared anyway, not like he was the one who'd been working at the same job since Uni. Louis wasn't a lawyer who had a decent living that could afford expensive things. He couldn't travel the world and take a month or two long holiday because he wanted to, just isn't realistic.

"If I'm lucky, maybe one of these days I'll get to change that," Sean said easily, as if he'd been waiting for the right moment to say it. "You deserve a nice trip."

Didn't we all?

"Maybe." Louis murmured, unsure how to feel about any of that. Going on a trip with an ex boyfriend wasn't something that came across as platonic.

Especially if something happened whilst on the trip...

But Louis was certain he wouldn't have to ever worry about that.

When they wandered back to Louis' building, he was pulled into a hug. Louis was a little hesitant at first, but wrapped his arms around him. Being squeezed for a moment before Sean had pulled away and licked his lips.

"Well, I had a nice time and I'm glad you decided to come." Sean said lightly, hands hidden in his coat pockets.

"Yeah, it was nice... Thank you." Louis hoped that Gemma and Harry were still out cold and hadn't seen him with Sean out the window. "And I'll try to repay you, promise."

"Stop stressing over it, Lou." Sean advised, his cheeks red from the coolness in the air. "But please, don't ever feel reluctant if you need extra cash, I'll help you out."

And that was not something Louis was sure he could ever do. This was a one time thing.

"Why?"

"Because, I want to. Think of me as a sugar daddy, if it makes you feel better."

Oh god... Sean didn't think that it was what was going on, did he?

"But in all seriousness, I suppose I should let you head in and actually get some rest. I've kept you out for a while."

Yeah, Louis definitely needed to get his arse back to bed to sleep off this night, because things were getting kind of strange now.

"Sleep well, love." Sean told him and Louis said his goodnight as well before he parted ways and headed inside.

When Louis had quietly made back into his flat and padded towards Harry's bedroom, he carefully opened the door. Hoping he wouldn't wake his friend for being too damn loud. Yet, when he crawled into bed and nuzzled into the warm plushness of the duvet, he felt movement beside him.

And Harry muttered out, "Where did you go?"

Of fucking course he was awake, damn it. It was half past one and Harry should have been asleep because he needed to be awake in a few hours. Louis cursed at himself for even going out because all it did was make his life even more complicated.

"I couldn't sleep, so I went for a walk. " Louis wasn't exactly lying, he just didn't tell him who with though. Not that Harry needed to know that. "Sorry if I woke you."

Harry yawned and Louis could hear him scratching at something before he said tiredly, "I've been up for a bit, actually. Niall had called me in a drunken stupor and that's what had woken me up.  He's staying at Zayn and Liam's for the night because they were going back for drinks at their place. Then I noticed you were gone, but I couldn't fall back asleep."

Okay, that made Louis feel so much better. At least he wasn't the cause of Harry's sleepless night.

They fell into a silence and Louis laid there staring at his friend in the darkness. He couldn't see him, but he knew he was there.

And Louis wanted to tell Harry he wanted to be held. But that never left his mouth as he slid his hand across the bed. Feeling warm skin and resting his hand on Harry's stomach. Nudging a little closer because for once he wanted to initiate a cuddle. Because ever since they stopped hooking up and Harry had been in a relationship it was usually not often. Normally Harry would pull him close to warm him up out of friendliness of his heart.

But now that Harry was single, Louis wondered if this would be fine. Just laying in his arms because he wanted to.

Yet, Harry hadn't pushed him away or told him to stop it.

"You're cold." Harry cooed, and Louis' heart swelled in his chest when he felt a hand on his.

So maybe this was okay.

Maybe it was alright when he pressed his forehead against Harry's shoulder. Hoping tomorrow he'd wake up with his favorite person next to him. Blinking the sleep from their eyes and laying together for a while in that sweet vulnerable moment. Putting his heart on the line because he couldn't get enough of him.

And Louis hoped one day that'd he would have stolen Harry's heart too.