Louis was making a long playlist for Niall's party while Harry and Donovan brainstormed. They had decided to get a bit of a jump start on the basics without Liam and Zayn's help. As those lovebirds were too busy having a date night. Not that Louis really needed them right now, he was pretty sure they could figure out the music part of it.

Didn't take a genius to work a radio or an iPod.

It was probably the most they could get done tonight as Louis had a train to catch soon, he was going to see his family for the weekend.

"Def Leppard and Cinderella," Harry announced, his voice ricocheting against the walls of the quiet kitchen. "Maybe some Motley Crue?"

"We're throwing a contemporary birthday party, not an 80's bash, Harold. Get with the times!" Louis teased, feeling himself slowly start to smile. "Do you've got any other suggestions than what's on your Itunes?'

Harry had this mischievous glint in his eyes, chuckling as if Louis told the funniest he's ever heard. It made Louis' heart skip a beat.

"Hey, you asked for suggestions, Lou. Don't blame the messenger for doing his job." Harry held his hands up in defense, it was absurd that the curly haired bastard looked cute doing so. Louis wished he could hold it against him.

"What about Alan Walker?" Donovan finally piped up, and Louis nodded. Niall always had like that dance- electronic shit. The heartthrob was definitely winning major brownie points. "Alesso?"

Louis jotted those down, biting back his grin when he slowly dragged his eyes across the table and Harry's sitting there with a moue of disappointment, with arms crossed. Like a child that didn't get his way.

He was enamoured with a goofball, go figure.

At least they're having a decent time as the past week and a half had been a bit strange. Not like doors opening and closing by themselves, poltergeist kind of thing. They just felt out of sync, like something in the universe shifted since that night Sean had been (not so) warmly welcomed back into his social circle. They haven't engaged in their usual banter and deep conversations. It was more small talk than anything, and Louis couldn't help but wonder if maybe Harry was still upset?

It had been days now, he'd outta realize by now that Sean wasn't his boyfriend nor anything more than a mate. Sure, they text off and on, and had a few late night calls, but nothing more than that. Shit, Louis hadn't even seen Sean physically since that day.

Okay, maybe that was a bit of a lie, Sean did drop off his shirt for work the day after, but it was a brief encounter. Louis was on the tail end of his lunch break.

It was just weird. But, today seemed like Harry might be over it already? He was hanging out with Louis discussing party planning stuff with Donovan. Not trying to pull away at any chance he could get.

But you know, those things Harry told had him about always having someone, he wasn't wrong. Well, the past Louis did. Never ending cycle of failed relationships and flings. First dates that never made it to a second. He'd always had a boyfriend, never single. Never alone. Louis blamed it on his careless young heart back in the day for falling fast and hard for any guy that took an interest in him. Good or bad. But it's been three years of spending his time without anyone, so he didn't get it.

And he wished he could ask Harry about what he'd meant. But they never got their chance to tell you how they felt because there always had been someone else.

It was just putting more strain on Louis' tired heart.

"Skrillex?" Harry inquired.

Louis wrote that down; Niall surely loved himself some Sonny Moore. Louis' ghost of his emo-teenage phase did too. From First To Last was nostalgic and it was tragic none of his mates had appreciated his impeccable tastes back in the day. Louis tried to convert them from their hodgepodge of hair metal and electronica.

But on the bright side, they've never had a mundane playlist to listen to whenever they hung out.

"And Krewella? I think I remember him mentioning something about them once." Donovan sounded unsure of himself, but Louis took it. Anything the musclebound heartthrob suggested would be a show stopper for sure if Niall had any knowledge about it.

"I think I'm all out of ideas on this one, Lou." Harry sighed, carding his fingers through his curls.

"Yeah, me too." Donovan agreed with a little nod.

Louis skimmed over his small, so very tiny of a list. They had about four artists so far, which was a few short of a good mix. Maybe Louis will look into doing some research when he's in his bed at his mum' later.

"I suppose it's good for now, I mean at least we've got a start." Louis put the pen down and slouching back into his spot, stretching out legs a little. They felt a bit stiff. "Watch Niall not even show up to his own party when the time comes, already off on the plane."

"Are you trying to jinx us?" Harry quipped, his lips curled into a smile. Tucking a little bit of his hair behind his ear that had grown a bit longer than it had been in years. He was so cute. So. Fucking. Adorable. Louis had to restrain himself from going off into la-la land and starts daydreaming about tangling his fingers in those decadent, untidy curls.

It's definitely not the best timing.

"Well, I mean it's a possibility, Harold. We've got to consider our options, don't we?" Louis already knew how he'd get Niall to stay, but the banter with Harry was something he loved. And, so what if he flirted a little? It did no harm, right?

Not like Harry had ever mentioned anything about it, not since Louis started to have feelings for him. Besides it's not like he's touching him or handing out compliments left and right. It's the only way Louis could have a glimpse of him right at his fingertips. Even if he can't touch him or be with him, this was okay.

It was better than nothing.

"If anything he'll have a grand surprise when he gets back, so either way it's a win-win, boys."

"I mean you're not wrong, either way, he'd be getting a party." Donovan's voice flew across the table. "Who knows, I could always convince him to stay by hanging out with me.

Niall had fucking amazing taste in men. Who knew Donovan had the best idea there ever was?

Of course, Niall would give up seeing his family to spend his day with the hunky barman. He'd be nuts. Louis wanted to slap a kiss on the guy's cheek and make it a date, throwing out his idea of taking Niall out for drinks. Niall would surely freak the hell out, and Louis couldn't wait to see the smile on his mate face and the offer (or more so forced) to help with his ensemble.

It was going to be a good week, Louis had the feeling tingling in his bones.

"That's not a bad idea." Harry reckoned, his eyes on Donovan but for a second he gave Louis a passing glance. "Maybe you could take him somewhere nice?"

"He likes films too. A real movie buff, if you ask me." Okay so maybe Louis was playing up the whole film fanatic thing, but he'd do anything to help his friends out. Harry seemed on board with this idea. "Rom-coms and comedies will definitely grab his interest."

"You think so?"

"I know so." Louis gave a knowing look to Harry, trying his damn hardest not to bust out into a grin. They better get an award for this because Niall's getting a big party and to top it off, spending a whole day with his crush. You can't seriously get it any better than that!

"Just tell me when and I'll make it a date." Donovan said effortlessly, like he'd been waiting for this moment to have the chance. It gave Louis some hope that maybe there's a slight, very slim chance it isn't so one sided after all.

It was hard to tell though, he'd have to get to know Donovan a little better, after all this was their first official party planning meet up. Probably would've gone better if the lovebirds were here, but they've got months. Weeks to make it absolutely perfect.

And who knew... possibly one day he could ask Donovan what he thought of Niall.

Maybe. Hopefully so.

But right now, Louis couldn't think so far ahead of himself, he had bigger fish to fry: like making sure he gets to the damn train station on time and not feel guilty about arriving so late in the night. It'd be almost midnight when he gets there, and his mum was such a wonderful soul, telling him she'd be waiting for him before she heads to bed. Making sure he made it all in one piece and had a plate of warm food, it's always something Jay had always done.

After all, he was her only child that had left home, so of course, she had worries, even as Louis grew into a responsible adult over time. It's just how she was. He was sure when Lottie decides to up and leave any day now, she'll try to talk her into living near Louis at least. But, his sister was nineteen years old. About to be twenty in a few months, working on a psychology degree.

Then next comes Fizzy and Louis wonders how his mum will do once she's all alone. But that's a thought for another time.

"But I think I'm gonna head out, 've got head to the gym before I tucker down for the night," Donovan mentioned, pushing out his chair and pulling up to his feet. "Text me when there's a next meeting, and I'll be sure to come."

Louis really didn't understand how anyone could be up to working out before bed. It's madness! Absurd! Even the ones waking up at dawn to go for a morning run before breakfast.

Harry, Liam, and Donovan were surely out of their heads. Louis' shocked they haven't made a club that meets every Friday for leg day. Where Louis could sit on the sidelines and admire the hard work. Harry dripping in sweat and glistening on his skin, silently wishing for his shirt to come off. Okay, so maybe Niall and Zayn would be there too, wanting the same thing. But it's a nice thought, though.

And surely something he needed to push back into the dark depth of his brain until he's alone.

Donovan gave them a parting wave and headed out of the kitchen, the sound of a door closing moments later. Leaving Louis and Harry alone in the quietness of the flat, and Louis hoped things wouldn't be weird up until he left.

"Niall's going to have a meltdown, you know?" Harry broke the silence lingering in the air, getting to his feet and veering towards the cupboards. Louis did not spare a glance at his bum in those tight black trousers, god no.

"Yeah, but he'll be kissing our feet for days and finally getting that fairy tale he's been dreaming of since Don showed up." Louis wanted Donovan and Niall to get together, they'd make a cute couple.

Niall hadn't had a proper boyfriend in what? Eight years? He should at least have one that wasn't fleeting and last more than a couple weeks to three months out of the year. Louis wanted Niall to have someone that'd want to stick by his side forever and always. He had hopes that possibly Donovan could be the one to put the short relationships to bed.

But, one thing's for sure, no matter what happens he'd be there to make sure everything was alright.

"He'll be a nervous wreck, Lou." Harry threw over his shoulder, still preoccupied with grabbing a glass from the cupboard and putting it under the tap. "Let's just hope he's not expecting a first kiss that may not happen, Niall's heart would be crushed."

Louis knew that his mate would probably be expecting a smooch from the fit bartender at the end when he drops Niall off at the door. Like one of the cheesy cliche rom-com films, he's watched one too many times, only to be disappointed when said person leans in for a hug before they're gone. Mixed signals and everything.

He was going to make it his mission to make sure that doesn't happen. Because that'd totally ruin not only the atmosphere and underlying reason of the party, but Niall's mood. Devastated and heartbroken.

And he couldn't have that happen.

"That's why I'm going to make sure that doesn't happen." Louis wasn't sure how he was going to do it yet, but he had a while to have a deep dive into Donovan's mind. "After all, Niall thinks I'm this love guru that can land any guy with my charms."

It still made him cringe on the inside.

Harry chuckled, popping back down in his spot with a glass of water, and bringing it to his lips.

After setting his cup down, Harry put in: "I mean, you've always have had at least a handful of guys fawning over you, even the one who claimed to be so straight." Harry did the air quotations with his fingers, and Louis busted out into a giggle.

He remembered that guy, he was on the footy team back when they were in the school in the last couple of years of it. Niall was so adamant on Louis hanging around Morgan because of his stupidly obsessive crush on the captain of the team. Thinking in some magical way, they'd help get them to be a couple. But Louis wasn't going to lie, he thought Morgan was fit and maybe had a small infatuation with him, but it was nothing more than a playful flirtship. No matter how much Louis wanted to have an epic romance with him, it was a lost cause.

Morgan got a girlfriend eventually, and Louis had met Aaron.

"Niall was so sad when Morgan stopped hanging around me, even though he still dragged me to those stupid games."

Harry smirked, "At least this time he's not making us befriend his crush and their mates to have an excuse to be near him."

Louis scoffed. "Speak for yourself, Harold." Louis did not go to the pub to be practically forced to strike a conversation with the man because Niall wanted his attention. But, he's not complaining, he was actually glad he went.

Harry took another sip of his water, and there's a ghost of a smile dancing on his lips. Dropping his elbow on the table and cradling his cheek with his hand. Staring at Louis openly and it should be so fucking illegal to look so winsome at something so simple. From his dimple to his kissable lips, it so annoying.

So irritating that Louis couldn't smother him with a kiss and just sat here and pine for him.

"What time does your train leave again?" Harry asked, changing the subject finally, thank god. He needed a break from Niall's love story.

"Uh, 22.00" Louis pulled out his phone to check the time, nearly having a heart attack when he sees the time.

His train would be leaving in three minutes!

There was no way, positively no fucking way that he'd make there in time.

How could he be so irresponsible? His mum and sisters were expecting him, he had his bag packed and everything sitting on the sofa. Great, now he had to wait till morning to catch the early train.So much for having one day where he didn't have to worry about traveling and spending it with his family he rarely sees.

He should've kept track of time.

Ugh, his mum was gonna be so disappointed he wasn't coming tonight.

"Shit." Louis muttered under his breath, running his hand over his face. Letting out a heavy sigh, as much as he loved to be around Harry and any chance that he could get, but he misses the girls and Johannah. It just really puts a damper on his mood.

"What's the matter, Lou?"

"My train leaves any minute now, and I really don't feel up to making a call to mum telling her I won't make it," Louis said woefully, he never liked to disappoint her. Or his sisters either. "I'll have to leave bright and early."

"You do know I could always drive you, I've got nothing better to do." Harry proposed like it was no big deal going way out of his way to do that for him. Spending his own hard earned money on petrol and only to come back home to an empty flat. In a sense it made Louis feel a smidge guilty.

"You don't have to that for me, I can just go tomorrow. Maybe for once, I'll actually try to be a morning person that doesn't hate the world." Louis chuckled lightheartedly. Shoving his phone back into his pocket, he was sure Harry wouldn't be the only one offering to drive him, Sean probably would too if he knew about it.

"It's not a massive deal, I really don't mind." Harry was already on his feet, pushing in his chair, and grabbing his car keys from the little basket on top of the microwave. "Besides do you really want to be crammed into an uncomfortable seat for a few hours because you're too stubborn to let me take you? "

"You won't get back until late, don't you've got work tomorrow?"

Harry shook his head, "Got the day off actually and you know, I could always crash at Gemma's if I get too tired."

He was making this difficult, wasn't he?

It's not that Louis didn't want to be stuck in a small cabin on the motorway with Harry, because that's a whole lot of alone time with him, and he'd never pass that up. It's just he knows this was his fault and Harry didn't need to do anything.

But he wanted to.

"I don't know how I'll make it up to you, but since you're offering, I guess that means I'm in charge of the radio, sorry love." Louis teased, getting to his feet and sashaying past Harry out to the living room to grab his bag.

Wondering if Harry had gotten a good look at his ass.

By the time there's an hour into their ride to Doncaster, bobbing their heads to the softness of the background music filling the cabin, Louis was content. Already had called his mum telling her he'd be there soon. The girls were out with their friends for the rest of the night, and she'd mentioned something about having two warm plates of beans on toast waiting for them. And yeah, Louis did mention that was Harry was with him, well more so just dropping him off.

But Harry knew that meant he'd at least have to stay for a quick bite to eat, it's always been the unspoken rule.

At some point Harry had lowered the radio and Louis glanced at him, arms folded against his waist. Rain droplets were starting to pelt against the windscreen, and Louis wondered what was on his mind.

"I've been meaning to ask you about something," Harry started to say, giving Louis a passing glance before his eyes were back on the motorway. "When did you, like, want to go on that road trip?"

Honestly? Louis had to push it to the back of his mind, that silly little bet they made, where he had to go on a journey across the country with his best mate. He was waiting for the moment Harry brought it up, in case he wasn't super serious about it and forgotten. But, it seems like they really are going to be spending a whole day or two alone... and he couldn't wait for that.

Louis pondered for a moment, scratching at his scruffy cheek. If it were Louis' choice, they'd go tomorrow morning and don't return until Monday evening. But he remembers Harry saying something about August, and that's so far away. So apparently a spontaneous driving holiday was out of the question.

"I'm up for anything, Harold," Louis spoke honestly, because he was happy with whatever he got. "As long as this isn't some trick you in getting me to go camping with you, I'll be happy. Or else I'll raise hell the whole time."

Harry tittrered, flickering his gaze back on Louis for a moment, "My bet, my rules."

Louis gasped, knitting his brows together. "Excuse me? Are you implying that's what you've gotten planned?" Louis eyed him suspiciously, he was definitely not the camping type of guy, he preferred an actual bed rather than the hard ground that'll wreak havoc on his back, thank you very much.

Harry had this smirk building on his lips and his nose scrunching. It's sickeningly adorable.

"I swear to god if I have aches in pains come morning, I'll never go on a trip again with you." It was an empty threat with hints of playful undertones. He'd follow Harry anywhere.

"Relax, Lou." Harry cooed, and suddenly there 's hand on his shoulder, squeezing ever so lightly. It was brief and yet, it made Louis crave more. For the hand to find its way to his thigh and rest it there, Louis really wanted that. So bad. "We'll be staying at a hotel, princess."

And then the touch was gone and wrapped around the steering wheel. Louis never felt more jealous of an inanimate object in his life, fucking envious of a steering wheel being touched by the man he loves. Louis needed to get his head out of his arse.

"But how about August 17th, then?" Harry inquired and Louis could get on board with that. Any date Harry suggested, he would be. Just had to make sure he'd save up as much as possibly could.

"Sounds good to me, H." Louis murmured, his eyes back on the road for a moment, watching them whizz past cars and overhead signs that lit up whenever they got ready to pass them. Raindrops sliding down the window pane, only to be wiped away seconds later. The sound of the evening sprinkle was soothing to his ears. "Where exactly are we going anyway?"

"Plymouth and then Cambridge."

So it looked like packing one pair of clothes was out of the question.

"As long as we don't get lost then I'm on board." Louis quipped, feeling slightly proud of himself when his mate stares at him for a moment.

"Hey." Harry frowned, not liking what Louis had to say. It was kind of endearing.

Louis just slouched back into his seat, already off dreaming in his mind about their excursion when the volume to the radio turned back up. OneRepublic's: If I Lose Myself emitting from the speakers and he had a smile on his lips.

He couldn't wait for August.

When Harry eventually pulled into the driveway outside Jay's house, Louis was already undoing his belt. Part of him was anxious to get out and stretch his legs. Yet, he didn't want Harry to go. He wanted him to stay with him and keep him here. Spend time with his family and pretend for a moment that Harry was his. That they were more than friends.

But Louis knew that's nothing more than a fantasy.

They ended up heading inside, Harry being a sweet gentleman carried his holdall for him, Louis wanted to smack a kiss on his cheek for it. But refrained when they were soon greeted by Jay who gave them a warm smile and tight hugs.

"So glad you boy's finally made it." Jay beamed, pulling away from Harry's embrace. "Thank you, Harry, for bringing him."

"It's no problem mum." Harry had always called Jay his second mother, thus the nickname. Niall did too. It's just what they did, and Louis did the same with Anne. Neither of the older women seemed to have minded, they were like sisters anyway. "How've you been?"

Louis says nothing, standing there, as Jay and Harry talked. Wondering how long Harry would linger around before he heads off back to Liverpool. Maybe they could hang out for a while. Go out to the old tree house in the back garden and squeeze themselves in there. Reminiscing about the past while nearly cuddled up together with a warm blanket. The Christmas lights illuminating the small space and talking about the future.

It's been years since they done that and Louis longed for it.

"But, since you're here I was thinking maybe you could stay for the night, it's awfully late, and I can't have you out there running the roads. Anne would have my head." Jay insisted, and Louis loved his mum more than ever in this moment. "You've always gotten a bed here."

"I don't wanna impose-"

Jay waved him off, signaling for him to stop and listen. And he did.

" Nonsense, you're more than welcome to stay. I rather make sure you don't fall asleep at the wheel and cause a serious accident.."

It's one thing about Jay, she's attentive and a natural born nurturer. So, of course, she'd have everyone's best interest at heart, she was like that with anyone welcomed into her life. Louis had always appreciated that about his mother.

"I mean if Louis doesn't mind.."Harry gaze fell upon Louis, his eyes had a glint of hopefulness that made Louis' heart start beating up against his chest.

"I don't." It came out softer than intended, but he felt elated. Harry wasn't going anywhere, he would be there when Louis wakes up in the morning. He couldn't have asked for more.

So maybe it was a blessing in disguise that Harry drove him home.

"Wonderful! I'm sure the girls will be excited to see you in the morning," Jay said pleasantly. If only his mum knew his sisters wouldn't be the only peppy ones. "But I don't want to keep you boys, so make sure to have a bite to eat before bed."

"Of course, mum." Louis murmured, in truth, he wasn't very hungry, his stomach was a jittery mess. Yet, his mother made them up plates, and it'd be rude not to at least have a few bites. "Promise we won't be too loud."

Jay looked seemingly pleased with that and told Louis to make sure to let Harry borrow some pyjamas and let him use his bed. The typical spiel she gave to any of her children whenever they had a guest over that was lacking the nightly essentials, and it was just the polite thing to do. Louis didn't have to be told twice though, he already knew he'd be sleeping on the floor.

One thing's for sure, Harry would look amazing in his clothes. Snug in all the right places and that was a pretty damn good visual.

After they said their goodnights, they popped into the kitchen and scarfed down most of their food. Talked more about their road trip, mentioning something about a budget and itinerary. Then booking in advance for a cheaper rate and limiting the use of cell phones, laptops, and tablets. Only using them in emergencies because let's face it: neither of them would go up to someone's house and ask to use their phone because they were lost. But you know what? None of those distractions meant spending more time enjoying each other. Actually having to communicate even more to keep from getting bored. Not being interrupted and all the attention on each other. Bonding and getting back everything they missed out on for the past two years.

And he couldn't wait for that.

When they cleaned their messes up and turned off the lights, they headed off to Louis' room. Shutting the door behind them and Harry already helping himself to the wardrobe (Louis' didn't care, that boy could wear whatever his heart desired) and Louis had to refrain himself from staring too much as he set up a little spot on the floor, leaving Harry with a pillow and a thick blanket.

Louis had to restrain himself from staring too much when Harry slipped off his shirt at one point, because his back muscles were mind numbing.

Then the trousers came next, and Louis was going to have cardiac arrest, this should be banned. Illegal. Criminal. Those tight... so delectably tight black boxers were just too much for Louis he had to make himself focus on other things before a major problem happens, like plugging his phone on the charger and putting his weekend bag beside his desk. Nearly whimpering at the sight when he turns around, and there's Harry squeezed into his old pair of grey joggers that really did not do justice for Louis' mind right now. Nor the fact when he closes the drawer to his wardrobe and Harry thought it was okay to look like that.

Fuck, why couldn't he put a damn shirt on? Why was he so fucking hot?

Fucking hell, why did Harry have to have a kissable body that had a great arse and a big dick? He may not have washboard abs and bulging muscles, but his body was the epitome of sexiness.

And it was tragic he missed out on drooling over it before the whole friends with benefits mess.

"Are you sure you don't want your bed, Lou?" Harry asked, ruffling his fingers through his curls. His stupid bicep flexing menacingly "I don't mind taking the floor."

"It's fine, Harold. It's not like I gonna wake up with aches and pains, how old you think I am?" Louis chuckled, shaking his head. Slouching down onto his pile of blankets and sheets, averting his gaze to resituate his pillow before he lays down. He definitely didn't need to be eye level with his best mates groin right now, last time that happened he was on his knees, sore, and yet desperate to please his mate.

And now was definitely not the time to be thinking about that.

Harry tittered, and Louis heart definitely was not swelling up. Nor was he trying to fight his oncoming smile when he moves to lay back, pulling the blankets up enough to shield him from night chill. All the while his eyes were on Harry who was just standing there looking at him with this fondness etched across his features before he flipped the light off. No longer being able to see him, but Louis could hear weight dipping onto the mattress and blankets ruffling.

He felt so far away, like they were miles apart and yet, they were so close. Louis could hear the yawn falling from his mates lips and the little scratch against his skin with his fingertips. Jostling around to get comfortable for a few minutes before he lets out a soft sigh.

Louis wondered if his sheets would smell like him when he's gone.

"Night, Lou." Harry said tiredly, he was probably exhausted from the long day he had. Waking up at the break of dawn to run with Liam and then busting his ass working, only to head to the gym after for an hour. Then spending time party planning with Louis and Donovan for a while.

Louis, on the other hand, was wide awake, and he had a feeling he'd be counting sheep for a while.

And the longer he laid here, the more he yearned to crawl into his small bed. Nuzzle up against the beautiful boy and be in his arms until morning.

Harry was like a beacon of heat and from his own experiences, his cuddles always made him feel safe. Warm and calming. Even way before Louis started to have feelings for him, Harry had always liked to snuggle him ever since Louis was a rebellious teenager. It's a norm for them, and it always had been even when Harry had a girlfriend.

So, would it be so bad to go slip into the empty spot beside him? It would be a snug fit, but Louis wanted to be near him. Harry wouldn't push him away, he don't think. He never had before.

Louis let out a breath and curled his fingers into his blanket, having a battle in his head. If he goes up there, he'd get everything he wanted there beside him. But the thing is, Louis was hesitant on the fact that his bed was only meant for one and they'd be so close. So fucking pushed together, he would feel all of him. Every single inch of his body, velvety smooth skin, and hard muscle. His fruity scent lingering off him and an arm around his waist.

It's not a bad thing, but it's worrisome. Because Louis knows that he would want more. Kisses and fingers wandering along his body. Being pulled impossibly close and sweet nothings whispered into his ear.

He wanted Harry to be his boyfriend, so he could have all that with him without the mask of it all being platonic.

Louis lays there for a minute longer before he decided to say fuck it. If Harry normally was the one to initiate it, so can he. Not even sparing a second carefully getting to his feet so he wouldn't be all tangled up. Softly padded toward his bed and reached down to feel the mattress to see if there would be room, only to be met with warm skin under his palm. Heat coloring Louis' cheeks at the slight embarrassment. About to pull his hand away and burrow under his blankets to hide and scold himself for being too confident. Yet, he felt a hand on his, and he was already breathless.

"Lay with me." Harry cooed out, Louis' hand was let go, and blankets were shuffling, sounds of a body scooting and his own heart hammering up against his chest.

Sliding down into what little space was there for him and his lips curving into a smile when he moves to lay against him. Spooning because it was the only way they could share the bed. A warm blanket pulled over them and a hand on the side of his waist pulling him close. His face nuzzled against the back of Louis' neck, and he felt at ease.

Happy that he could have this.

Sleep was starting hit him after a while and the room starting to feel cold against his cheeks. Wanting to nuzzle closer to the body behind him. Scooting back as much as he could into him and fingers digging into him.

Nearly gasping when he felt something against his bum.

Swallowing thickly at the way Harry lets out this low groan. Louis bites down on his lip to suppress any sort of mewl wanting to escape at the hard cock pressed against him.

Louis wasn't going to be ignorant about it, he knew what that was. It's not his first rodeo.

It would be a lie to say it didn't affect him because it does, he wanted to play pretend and forget he had a fattened up dick against his bum. But no, his mind was slowly going into a haze and couldn't stop thinking about what's concealed under those incredibly tight joggers.

Louis was definitely awake now.

So what if he maybe pressed his bum back into Harry's lap a little more? Harry didn't say anything about it, in fact, Louis felt a little the hardness up against his arse even more.

And Louis couldn't help himself, slightly rubbing his bum against it. His own cock hardening and tingling, pressing against the fabric of his pants. Heart just racing and his boxers damp against the head of his prick. Louis mind slowly being consumed by all the things it shouldn't. Sex.

Harry ripping his clothes off and having his way with him. Leaving kiss mark all over his body, claiming what's his. Nipping and licking every inch of him. Pressing him down into sweaty sheets and fucking him like he used to.

Louis was so damn aroused.

God, help him...

And the next thing he knows, Harry snaps his hips even closer. A breathy whimper falls from Louis' lips at the feeling.

In a sense, Louis wanted Harry to push his hand into his joggers and feel him, grab his bum and give it a little squeeze. To feel all of himself in his mates hands, fingers digging into his flesh. Decorating his neck with dark colored marks and whispering filthy things to him. Making a promise to wreck him in the most divine way.

It made Louis' cock throb at the thought.

"Baby" Harry moaned softly, rocking his hips against Louis steadily, his warm breath fanning against the back of his neck. It was intoxicating.

Louis skin prickled and his insides were crackling when he arches back into his love, wanting more. His toes curling when he thinks of the way Harry's erection looked sliding against him. Flushed pink and oozing precome, begging to be free and touched. Louis was fucking gagging for it. To wrap his lips around it and taste every last bit of him.

He wanted Harry so bad.

A whimper escaped Louis' lip's at some point when he started to have thoughts of melting against Harry's tongue. The distant memory of the times when his friend would eat him out. Going limp and sputtering out moans that were begging for more.

Fucking hell, Louis needed Harry. Ached for him.

But then it all comes to a halt when light filters through the bottom crack of Louis' bedroom door and the sound of his sisters giggling. Heavy breathing in his ear and the hand that was once on his waist was now sliding down his arms, until it got to his. Interlacing their fingers together and ever so gentle brushing of lips against his shoulder.

Louis' stomach felt like a fluttery mess when he feels a gentle caress with the thumb from the hand on his. It almost brings tears to his eyes as he watched the light soon replace with darkness once the sounds of his sisters' bedroom doors close, feeling embarrassed with himself. He rubbed against Harry in a sexual way, there's simply no way he would downplay any of that.

He was scared that he freaked his love out.

But the thing is... Harry reciprocated, and that was just confusing in itself.

Louis' arousal slowly faded away and his mind stuck on the fact Harry was holding his hand. Giving him a little squeeze as their breathing evened out and he wasn't letting go. Just letting Louis have him as his thumb gently caressed against his skin.

It was making Louis' heart swell in his chest.

He pushed their hands closer to his heart and fluttered his eyes closed hoping maybe this meant something good.

And they lay like that for a while until they were lulled them to sleep.

Come morning, Louis woke up slowly, blinking the tiredness from his eyes, and his lips stretched into a tired smile when realizes he still had the warm body beside him. Happy Harry was still here and hadn't abandoned him for a morning shower. Louis liked this. No he loved this.

He dreamed to have this every morning, and it was nice to actually for once have it come true. Even if this was the only time he'll ever get to bask in it, at least he got to have him for a little while.

Louis was about to nuzzle back into the warmth and try to get a little more rest, well that was until his bedroom door flung open and in come Jay with her hair tucked into a bun. Louis shot up in horror because he knows this looks bad.

It looks so fucking bad...

As far as his mum knew, they've never shared a bed, never kissed, and never crossed physical boundaries a best mate should.

He was about to stumble out of bed until Jay gave him a sheepish look and he could see her eyes had drifted to shirtless sleepy boy next to him for a moment before they snapped back to him, and said, "Breakfast is ready if you're hungry, sweetheart." and then she closed the door behind her.

Shit.

Louis flopped back down into his spot and pulled the blanket over his face, letting out a heavy sigh. There's really no way to explain this to his mum, like she obviously would suspect something, right?

They've always been quite affectionate toward one another which was normal in Jay's eyes, he thinks. But the only times he actually shared his small bed with anyone was the person he was dating.

Oh god... his mum doesn't think they're dating, does she?

What if she tells the girls or what if she goes to Anne about what her eyes witnessed? Fuck. What if she asks them-

There's a hand on his waist and groggy voice, asking: "You okay?"

No, absolutely not! Louis was not about to tell Harry what was currently going through his brain. No need to bring it up and make things weird. It's bad enough they had to go out there, and Louis feel like they're being watched closely.

Who knows, maybe he's over thinking it all, and she won't even mention it.

Maybe. Hopefully so.

"Ehm, didn't sleep too good." Louis lied easily, lower the blanket from his face and letting out a breath as he flips around, suddenly remembering that they were literally pressed up close. Their lips merely inches apart and felt like all the air in his lungs had dissolved.

Harry's green eyes searched his faced for a moment, and then he's pushing Louis' fringe out of his eyes. The light that strikes his face that filters through the blind is soft. He looked gorgeous. Just staring at him blankly, and thinks for a moment if he should reach out and touch him. Feel even closer to him.

Wonders if he tells Harry how he feels that he wouldn't run for the hills.

"What's on your mind?" Harry finally murmurs, slipping his arm around Louis' waist from above the blanket. Making Louis' want to cuddle into him and not let this moment pass on by.

Louis' swallowed hard, trying to come up with something and quick. There's no fucking way he's going to confess anything laying here.

Not before Harry ends up leaving him again.

"I just-" Louis cuts himself off mid-sentence, unsure how to tell Harry he wanted him to stay. To spend the weekend with him and that they could do this again. The sharing of the bed thing. It could be theirs if he wanted it. Where he could hold Louis' hand like it meant something and just bring some light into his heart. Yet, he can't even ask for something so simple.

Harry had this warm glow in his eyes as he openly stared at him and there's a shadow of a smile dancing on his lips.

It shouldn't be hard to tell your mate, your best friend that you've known since forever that you need them. When you want to be all they need. That you feel so ashamed for wanting them and hope that they forgive you. It's devastating.

Because no matter what, Louis knows he would never have enough courage to spill his feelings. Rejection would be a lot harder than one sided feelings that were kept secret.

And he can't do that to himself.

"It's not that important, H." Louis breathed out, staying there for a moment longer before he finally pulled away from his touch. Getting up and padding towards his weekend bag, feeling a heavy gaze following him across the room. It made him feel quite nervous.

Harry lets out this sort of yawn and blankets is ruffling when Louis slinks down to his knees, zipping it open.

Then arms are sliding around his shoulders and face nuzzled against his cheek. Curls tickling at his skin, not moving a muscle and biting back his smile. The there's a husky voice in his ear cooing, "Whatever it is, I'm here for you."

Louis wished that had also meant he'd stand by his side no matter what.

Then there's soft lips against his cheek, and then the arms were gone like that, the sound of the drawers to his wardrobe opening in the background. Louis goes back to finding something to wear while his heart is fluttering in his chest.

Harry's so sweet to him.

When they both emerged from the bedroom to head off to the kitchen for breakfast five minutes later, they were greeted by delicious warm food on the table. Lottie and Fizzy busy chatting away about their mutual friend Célen, who had just found out she's with child and the father is a mystery. Playing the guessing game pretty much, well that was until they started to bother Harry with many questions. Overly excited to see him and getting out of their seat to go hug on him, Louis thought it was pretty endearing to watch.

But it's when his mum finally emerges from the kitchen and joins them, Louis can't help but notice the look in her eye. Curiosity. It was like she wants to know what's going on and he doesn't blame her. She walked in on them sharing a bed and Harry was topless, he gets it. He knows she's probably itching to know if something was going on that Louis wasn't telling her.

Yet, Jay doesn't say anything about it when she tells everyone to eat up and asking Harry how's life treating him.

"You know, working more hours at the vet hospital, the usual," Harry chuckled, popping a piece of egg in his mouth. "Just glad I quit waiting tables ages ago, or else I'd be in a permanent bad mood all the time."

"Well, it's your own fault for wanting to serve the public in the first place, Harold." Louis pointed out like the little shit he is, smirking. Biting off a piece of his toast and swallowing it down with orange juice.

"You literally work in a coffeehouse, Louis." Lottie retorted, shaking her head, then glanced down to the phone in her hand for a moment before she snapped her gaze back on him. "I still think you should come back home and work as a custodian at uni instead."

Right. His sister had brought on more than one occasion he should think about possibly having a career change and moving back. Mentioning she missed her older brother and how they used to hangout along with Fizzy before he left. Given, they never did anything too extravagant, but ever since Louis had gotten his drivers license he was allowed to borrow his mum's car when it wasn't occupied, and they had no other plans, he always took them out. Whether it was to the mall or going somewhere cheap to eat greasy food. It was always nice, their mum had always loved how close the three of them were.

And yeah, he had thought of coming back a while ago, but there was no need to share that.

"Eh... I'm not really too keen on that idea, Lot's, sorry."

"I second that, I can't imagine Lou cleaning up after anyone, let alone himself." Harry quipped. Louis kicked him in the shin gently, not appreciating that at all, and snickered about it Harry let out a small yelp.

Harry pouted at him, and Louis' heart was fucking swooning when his mate returns the favor. It was all in good fun.

"But we barely see you anymore," Fizzy added, like it was the worst thing in the world that Louis had an actual life to live in another city."We have no idea if you're even seeing any cute boys anymore."

Give it up to one of his sisters to bring it up; his dating life.

Louis says nothing and takes another bite of his eggs, he absolutely, positively did not want to talk about this. He knows his sisters are curious and wanting to know if he had his eye on someone, but they didn't need to be sucked into that drama. Nor did anyone at this table for christ sake, this was his own battle. He'd be damned if anything got revealed right now when the person is right across from him.

"I don't want you to get upset but, Are you back with Sean? Because he followed me on Instagram the other night and-" Lottie started to ask carefully, but Jay spoke over her.

"Lottie, stop bothering your brother and eat."

Louis shared a look with his mum for a moment who had a given him a little bit of a knowing smile before she concealed it was her cup of coffee. His mother was the best, she really was, and he couldn't thank her enough for being such a wonderful parent to him through the years.

And maybe as he sat here through the rest of breakfast, he had been contemplating on something massive. Something he's been too terrified to even entertain the thought of for even a millisecond. He's not sure how he's going to go about it once Harry leaves, but he's going to do it by the end of his stay. He needed to do this.

After they helped Jay clean up the table, they headed back into Louis' room so Harry could grab his keys and make sure Louis had everything he needed. Not alone for long when the girls come barging into Louis' room unannounced and give their hugs goodbye. Telling Harry to come more often even if Louis' not here because they miss him. Harry had mentioned that maybe someday they could all go on a holiday together next year or something, everyone would be there. The girls, Gemma, Harry, Louis, and their mothers. Just something nice and a nice break away from reality.

Which sounded very nice, but the chance of that happening were slim to none. They all had weird timetables, to begin with, and if they could all agree on a destination. Not only that, but their mums would have to be on board too.

But who's to say these plans will even happen in the first place?

Louis just stood on the sidelines and let the girls have their moment with that beautiful boy, say their farewells one last time. Eventually vacating the room and Harry asking him to walk him out.

Not without stopping by the kitchen and Harry telling Jay he'd see her soon and gave her a little wave. Johannah told him to tell Anne she said hi and Harry just smiles, giving her a nod before he turned on his heels and made his way out, Louis slowly trailing behind.

Louis wanted Harry to stay, to not hop in his car and head off back to Liverpool where he's not. To be further apart for a few days and not hear his voice. To not have him near or being cuddled when his best mate is seeking affection. They've been apart before plenty of times, but it was always hard for Louis because he missed him.

Even when they were just friends, he felt a slight longing to be around him. Platonic or not, he liked his company.

Yet, Louis finds himself standing outside beside Harry's car, staring up at his mate whose merely inches apart. Staring at him with a twinkle of warmth in his eyes and his heart beat inexplicably increases. It's relatively quiet other than the birds chirping in the trees and the faint sound of a lawnmower as it chokes to life.

"So, I suppose I should head out," Harry said lightly, kicking the little pebbles on the pavement with his boot. Flicking his gaze down for a moment before he met Louis' eyes, staring at him openly.

Both of them stood there for a moment, quiet and still. Almost as if they were waiting for someone to take the lead to say goodbye and yet, unsure of what to do. It made Louis' top start to feel tight and itchy, and suddenly suffocated.

He couldn't take it, so he started to open his mouth but then the distance closed between them. Louis couldn't breathe when he was pulled into a hug, no space between them, body to body. Harry was squeezing him tight as Louis managed to wrap his arms around him too. Fluttering his eyes closed and pressing his smile into his shoulder. Louis wanted to melt into his touch and stay here forever.

It lingered for a few seconds, and Louis' heart swelled when he felt a gentle press of a kiss on his neck before Harry slowly pushed away. Heat inching to his cheeks when he looks his mate in the eyes and the sweet kiss still burning on his skin. Wanting to reach up and touch where he was kissed, to feel it, engrave it into his mind because it's been far too long.

Harry just rubs the back of his neck and give him one last dimpling smile before he turns on his heels and about to reach for his door until Louis spoke up.

"Thank you for being here with me."

Harry looked over his shoulder back at Louis for a moment, as if he were about to say something, but ends up getting into his car, and Louis watched his leave. Disappearing down the desolate street and his own heart begging to chase after him.

Eventually pulling himself from his spot and headed back inside with a smile on his face.

The rest of his day is spent lounging around with his sisters and giving them the best possible advice about their boy troubles, friend dramas. Helping his mum with dinner and watching some shows with the family. It was a nice escape from reality where his phone was left untouched sitting on his nightstand and just spending every second with his siblings as much as he could. Not even once had Jay said anything about potentially setting him up on a blind date and that was quite surprising, to say the least. But he can't complain, maybe Jay finally got the hint Louis would rather be single then put his heart out there again.

And Louis can't complain when the girls ask him to go to the cinema with him to meet with their mates and he tells them no. Saying he was tired and broke. Fizzy telling him she'd pay, but Louis declined and told them to have a good time.

As bad as it sounded, he was thankful when they eventually left for the evening. He loved his sisters dearly, but he needed his mum more than ever right now.

Louis took a deep breath and carefully treaded his way towards the living room where his mum was flipping through one of those homey magazines on the couch. The lamp next to the sofa illuminating her. Louis' heart was in his throat when slowly traipsed his way over and sat beside his mum.

He can do this.

Jay closed the glossy in her hands and looked at him for a second before setting it aside onto side table beside the lamp.

"What is it, sweetheart?" Jay, crooned.

It's not going to be the end of the world, and his mum would be there for him no matter what.

Louis folded his arms against his waist and tears starting to pool at the corners of his eyes, burning. Shimmering there the longer they sit in silence because this was hard, pulling at his heartstrings hard. And almost feeling ashamed because he knows he should have came to her sooner.

"I-" Louis said, a loss for words. Blinking back the wetness wanting to stain his cheeks and it's when he felt gentle hands on his shoulders is when he loses it. Letting the floodgates open and his stomach just wound up so tight. Wiping away his tears as much as he could.

Not sure how long he'd been sobbing until his mum pulled him in for a hug and held him there. Cooing at him to calm down and breath, just like she always done to whenever Louis cried over a breakup or whenever something bad happened. She always knew how to comfort him, as little as it is.

It took maybe about a minute before Louis was able to actually force words out of his mouth and pulled away from Jay's comfort.

Swallowing down the lump in the back of his throat and murmured, "Mum... for the past few years I haven't been happy," It was a start, and it was the truth. "Feeling so helpless inside because no matter what, it won't go away," Louis' eyes were burning up. " I tried to stop, I did, but I can't."

Jay was silent, like she was waiting for Louis to go on with it. He couldn't dare look his mum in the eyes right now.

"I never meant to... it just happened," Louis sniveled, wiping at his wet cheeks. He felt like he was going to the throw up, his chest heavy.

But he's ready to tell her.

"I'm in love with him."

And Louis thought he'd never say it aloud, in a sniveling mess, where his tears were being wiped away. Jay murmuring: "It's okay."

The fact that his mum was reassuring him that things are fine and not crashing and burning around him was everything he needed. That she seemed okay with it and not gobsmacked by the confession. It was comforting that his mother was here and trying to ease him away from crying his heart out. To wipe his face clean and make sure he could come up for air every now and again instead not feeling so breathless from sobbing.

It took Louis a few seconds to calm himself down, his eyes still a little wet, but he was better. Felt relieved honestly. Like a weight had been lifted off his chest that's been there for ages.

"He doesn't know," Louis told her, eventually making himself glance at his mum who had this look of concern dancing in her eyes. "I don't think I ever will tell him because I don't wanna lose him."

Jay frowned, she looked heartbroken for him. It made him sad.

"I've been waiting for you to come to me, because I didn't want to say anything and have you get upset," Jay said carefully. "But I've had my suspicions."

Louis stared openly at his mother, trying to think about what she had meant, and Jay must have picked up on that.

"Ever since that nasty breakup with Sean you'd been hurting, and I could see it in your eyes whenever you were home. You lost who you are, and I knew you were in pain." Jay's voice started to tremble at the word. "But I noticed after months gone by you were smiling and back to life. I wasn't sure what happened or how you got it back, but I cried over it because all I ever wanted is for you to be happy. "Jay was going to make him into a sobbing mess again. "I eventually put two and two together over time whenever Harry was around visiting and realized you might have caught some feelings for him."

There a second of a pause in his mum's voice before she carried on.

"But you know when he started dating that girl, you lost that shine in your eye. You avoided going back home to hide away, and I wanted to do whatever it took to take that pain away. I only tried to set you up with all those guys because it hurt me to see your world stop turning again."

So his mum kind of knew this whole time and didn't say anything? Honestly, he was a little shocked she said nothing to Anne about it.

"How did you-" Louis started to ask, but Jay was faster.

"I'm your mum, and I know my son better than anyone. I want you to know that no matter what happens in your life, I'll always love you and you can talk to me about these things."

Louis really did have a wonderful and understanding mother, wished he could have told her before things got bad. It's kind devastating that he never had the courage up until now.

But what could he do?

"And I'll be honest about something, I've always thought Harry would be the one for you."

Sadly, he isn't. Louis wished his mum's words were the truth, but they never would be nothing more than a wish.

It was something Louis was going to have to live with whether he liked it or not.