A/N - Hi All!  Another chapter for you!  Its a bit heavy at times but there's a bit of sweetness too.  Hopefully this isn't too boring - but I feel like its necessary to develop their relationship.  I hope you're enjoying so far!  Drop me some comments - and please vote if you like it!  Enjoy!

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Ben glanced over at Rey's still form in the seat beside him.  Her head was leaning against the passenger side window as she gazed unseeingly at the scenery as it flew by.  He was worried about her.  He knew she'd had a series of shocks today – all of which were his fault.  If he'd only kept quiet, or thought it through better, maybe she wouldn't be hurting as much as she was right now.  It was uncharacteristic of her to be so quiet and withdrawn, but he figured she still needed time to process everything.  However, he was also aware that the wheels were likely turning in her mind, and he didn't want her to do anything that could potentially put her in danger.

Her phone suddenly dinged and she reached into her jacket to grab it, responding to the text.  "Finn has to work late tonight."  She told him, her voice still flat.  "He told me not to hold dinner."

"I'm not leaving you alone when you're like this."  Ben replied.

She turned to look at him.  "Its fine.  I'm fine Ben."

He shook his head.  "Nope.  I'll take you back to my place for a while.  Kay won't be around – she's helping a friend move-in tonight – so you can just...be... for awhile.  Until you feel a bit better."

Studying him briefly, she finally nodded.  "Okay.  Thanks Ben."  She leaned her head back against the window before quietly adding.  "I don't want to tell Finn about this."

Ben's head snapped to hers momentarily, before turning back to the road.  "Why not?"  He asked, clearly baffled.

"You know him Ben.  He freaks out at the littlest thing.  And he'll keep thinking about it – coming up with different angles and ideas.  I'm sure I'll do enough of that on my own.  I don't want to have to deal with his ruminations on all of it too."

He sighed deeply.  He knew she was right, but as her significant other, Finn had a right to know.

Seeing where Ben's thoughts were going, she stressed.  "I mean it Ben.  I don't want him to know, and you will not tell him!"

"Fine."  He replied tight lipped.  "But he has a right to know Rey.  If it was me, I'd want to know – and I'd be livid if I found out it was something you'd kept from me."

She leaned over and squeezed his knee, telling him softly.  "I know that Ben.  It does feel wrong to keep it from him.  But he's not you – and I just can't handle it right now.  I promise that I will eventually tell him.  But honestly, it probably won't be anytime soon.  Not until I at least come to terms with all of it myself."

He nodded, satisfied that she would at least tell Finn at some point.

Arriving at his building, he pulled into the underground parking garage and maneuvered the car into his spot.  She was still silent as they rode in the elevator, and stayed relatively quiet when they entered his apartment.  Taking off her jacket and shoes, she gingerly sat down on the couch, still lost in thought.

Ben came up beside her.  "Um, I'm going to change out of this suit.  Help yourself to anything in the fridge – or the bar - if you're thirsty.  I'll be right back."

She gave him a sad smile and nodded, watching as he disappeared into the bedroom.  When he came back into the room a few minutes later, she was standing at the window, staring out across the city.  "I've never been here when its just been you and me."  She said, turning to face him.

He gave her a perplexed look.  "Oh?  I didn't realize that."  After a beat, he added.  "Does it make you uncomfortable?"

"Why would I be uncomfortable?  You've come to my apartment to hang out and watch movies a bunch of times – and its just been us.  I guess I just never realized that you usually come to my place.  I'm not sure why, though - your apartment is much nicer."

"I've never thought of it."  He replied with a small shrug, holding out a bundle in his hands.  "Here – these are Kay's.  You can change into them if you'd like.  I'm sure she won't mind.  They might be a little short, but you'll probably be much more comfortable."

She held up the pair of black yoga pants and a plain white T-shirt he'd given her.  "Thanks, Ben."

Heading into the bathroom, she changed out of her chinos and blouse, slipping on the yoga pants and T-shirt.  That was definitely more comfortable.  When she came back out of the bathroom, Ben wasn't in the living room, but she could hear him speaking on the phone in the kitchen.  He walked in a couple of minutes later, holding two bottles of beer.  She could see a lime wedge in the neck of one of them and smiled.

"Here."  He said, handing her the bottle.  "You look like you could use this."

"Thanks."  She smiled.  "You remembered that I like lime in my beer."

Taking a swig, he nodded.  "I ordered food too.  It'll be here around 6:30."

"I'm really not that hungry."  She replied.

"I knew you'd say that.  That's why I ordered bacon cheeseburgers with fries."  He smirked, knowing that was her weakness.  "Otherwise I would've cracked open a bottle of wine instead of these."  He told her, holding up his beer.

Her lips twitched slightly, and she shrugged one shoulder.  "I suppose I could eat."  She glanced down at the floor for a minute before looking back up at him.  "Thanks, Ben.  For staying with me through all of this."  She put her beer down on the sofa table and wrapped her arms around herself, shivering slightly.

Seeing her discomfort, he walked out of the room to grab a blanket.

She was lost in thought again when he returned, her sightless stare broken when she felt a soft blanket wrap around her shoulders from behind.  Smiling again, she tugged the blanket closer around herself.  "Thank you."

He shrugged.  "You looked cold.  I don't keep it very warm in here – I tend to run hot.  Kay complains that she's freezing all the time."

She swiveled around, propping her back on the arm to face him, making herself comfortable.  "I'm nice and cozy now."  She sighed, starting to relax a little.

"Do you want to watch a movie? It might take your mind off of things.  Unless you want to talk about it...."

"A movie – please. I just want to veg out and not think of anything, never mind talk about it."  She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Sounds good."   He replied, picking up the remote to find them something to watch.

They'd haggled over which series to start, with The Avengers, Lord of the Rings, and Justice League being top of the list.  Eventually they decided on the Avengers, since she told him that she'd prefer something mindless and entertaining – and the other two simply involved too much thought – even though she'd seen them all numerous times.

They were part way through Captain America when their food arrived.  Ben brought them both another beer and they shifted to sitting on the floor in front of the square coffee table to eat.  Ben watched her surreptitiously out of the corner of his eye, noticing how her casual, unconventional beauty shone through regardless of what she was doing.  It was almost as if she seemed to be getting prettier and prettier, each time he saw her.

A small grin appeared on his lips when he noticed her face scrunch up in bliss as she enjoyed her cheeseburger.  He must have made some sort of sound, because she suddenly turned to him questioningly.  "What?"  She asked.

"Nothing."  He smirked.  "For someone who wasn't hungry, you sure appear to be enjoying that burger quite a bit."

"Hey – that was an hour ago!  Now I'm hungry."  She mumbled.

He chuckled.  "Rey – I knew you couldn't pass up a bacon cheeseburger – and hand cut fries.  Its your go-to comfort food – what you eat whenever you're stressed or just want to feel better."

She stopped chewing, momentarily thinking about what he said.  "Huh.  I guess you're right.  I never thought of that."  Her eyes narrowed.  "How did you know that?"

Rolling his eyes, he answered.  "Despite your belief to the contrary, sometimes I am observant.  Not so much of a Stupidhead now, am I?"  He said, a smug smile on his face.

Leaning closer she patted his cheek with his hand.  "Thank you Ben.  But you'll always be Stupidhead to me."  She smiled devilishly before shifting away from him once again.

He growled at her reply, suddenly lifting his hand to his cheek.  "Eeeewww.  Did you just smear mayo on my face?"

She looked down at her own fingers, sticky with burger goop and laughed.  "Oops.  Sorry."  She laughed, clearly not sorry at all.

Eventually, they finished their meal, cleaned up a bit and settled back onto the couch to watch the rest of the movie.  Rey was once again propped sideways against the armrest with her legs extended out in front of her, warm and comfortable under the blanket Ben had given her.  When he returned from the kitchen, he just shook his head in disgust.  "You're hogging the entire couch!  Move over."

Smirking, she sighed dramatically and rolled her eyes, pulling her knees up to make room for him.  "Fine."

He shook his head once again as he huffed in mock frustration, lifting her legs as he plopped himself onto the couch, hooking her legs over his thighs.  She grinned back at him.  "This is comfy too."

"Be still."  He warned.  "Or you're sitting like a normal person.  This is my couch after all."  He grumbled teasingly.

They were both quiet for awhile, comfortably relaxed, watching the movie.  At one point near the end, Ben's eyes flicked over to Rey, noticing that her attention wasn't focused on the screen.  Instead, she was staring aimlessly at a point across the room, clearly lost in thought, with tears gently streaming down her face.  He quickly paused the movie and leaned his body closer, touching her shoulder.  "Hey."

Startled, she glanced over at him.  "My parents didn't just die in a tragic accident Ben.  They were killed.  Murdered."  She took a shuddering breath.  "They were taken from me.  For what?"  The tears continued to softly course down her cheeks.  "I suddenly started thinking about what my life might have been like if that hadn't happened.  If they'd been alive to raise me."  She swallowed thickly.  "Don't get me wrong – I love Obi and Anna – probably just as much as I would've loved my birth parents – but, I can't help thinking 'what if?'.  Would I be a different person today?   Would I still have chosen to go into engineering or would I be more of a girly girl?   How many things would have been different...."  Her voice trailed off.

Ben's heart broke for her as he reached across to gently wipe the tears from her face.  "Rey – don't torture yourself.  It was a terrible, heinous thing that happened to them.  But you turned out pretty well, don't you think?   And, you are who you are.  Sure nature versus nurture makes a difference – but deep down, it doesn't change who you are in the very fiber of your being.  And that person is beautiful.  Brilliantly smart, funny, and sweet.  The fact that it was Obi and Anna who raised you didn't change that."  He sighed deeply.  "Of course you would prefer your parents – your family – to still be with you.  That's human nature.  But Obi and Anna gave you a new family.  They love you - and you have friends who care deeply about you.  So while your life is different than it could have been – in many ways, its probably not very different after all – thanks to them."

He leaned away from her, running his hands through his hair.  "I've had a comparatively shitty life Rey.  Even though I had a family who loved me, I've made some really, really bad decisions – ever since I was young.  And ended up being manipulated for a very long time.  Because of that, I almost lost my family completely." 

"I was a bad person Rey – really bad.  I hurt people through my actions.  I had no friends – no happiness of any kind in my life – only anger, manipulation and pain."  His voice cracked on the last words, and he cleared his throat to continue.  "I was fucked up for a long time – and am grateful to have been able to have gotten through all of it – with a lot of help."  His voice changed to one of steely determination.  "Because of that, I appreciate everything that I have, and I will never, never take family and friends for granted again.  I am so grateful that they are all in my life.  I am happy to talk to them and spend time with them, because I didn't have that for so long, and I'll regret those mistakes for the rest of my life."

His eyes were intense, boring into hers as he continued.  "But without Obi and Anna, your life could have been very different.  You could've ended up in the foster system – and when that happens, the odds of a happy childhood are usually slim.  You already know this because of Finn.  But you were lucky – you had the love and support of adoptive parents whose focus was you.  And because of that, you had a happy childhood – and that helped shape you into who you are .  So your parents deaths didn't define you, any more than my stupid, fucked up actions have defined me."

She looked up at him, eyes still shining, and gave him a tight smile.  "Thank you, Ben."  She whispered quietly, leaning forward to wrap her arms around him.  "You're right.  You're absolutely right.  I've been sitting here feeling sorry for myself – feeling sad for parents that I barely remember – grieving over what I've lost.  In some ways, I think that grief will probably always be with me.  But I was given another family instead – one who loved me – and I've always considered myself lucky for that.  I'd just forgotten it for a few minutes.  Thank you for reminding me."

She leaned her head on his shoulder, still quietly thinking.  His hand was gently rubbing her back in a soothing motion, and she sighed comfortably, her eyes starting to droop.  A small smile appeared on her face, but he could only hear it in her voice.  "You know, you always know exactly what to say to me.  What I need to hear.  Whether it's a kick in the ass, or a few words of encouragement."

She could feel a rumble in his chest as he chuckled.  "That's what friends are for."

They stayed like that for while longer, neither realizing it as they both slowly drifted off to sleep.

****

Ben was hot when he woke up, feeling a heavy, warm blanket draped over his chest.  He groaned slightly and tried to move, realizing that what he thought was a blanket was the weight of a body snuggled on top of him.  A very soft, sweet-smelling, woman's body.  Well that's new.  He thought.   Kay had never slept so near to him before, never mind on top of him, preferring to stick to her side of the bed on the relatively few times she now slept over each week.  Still not opening his eyes, he breathed deeply, wanting to enjoy the comfortable bliss for a few minutes longer.

He ran his hands over her back, making sure that they didn't stray lower to her ass.  Kay hated it when he tried to initiate sex in the mornings.  She told him that she simply wasn't a morning person, and needed at least some coffee to be awake enough to even consider starting to fool around that early in the day.  Still, she felt so warm and cozy, and was literally snuggled into him, so he couldn't resist taking a shot.  "Good Morning."  His voice rumbled out, raspy and deep, as he lifted his head to find her lips.  He kept his eyes closed, wanting to try to persuade her, not wanting to see her likely push him away, able to plead ignorance if she did.

His lips found hers gently, and he groaned softly as she kissed him back.  Yes.... He thought.  He brought his hand up to the back of her head to hold her mouth more firmly against his, relishing in the pleasure – and the reciprocation – he was finally feeling from her.  When his hand reached her hair however, he stopped.  This hair was longer and messier – not the short bob that Kay preferred to wear.  What the fuck?

He opened his eyes and looked up at the woman who was kissing him back with growing ardor – her eyes also closed.  Holy shit!  He was kissing Rey!  And his dick was getting hard against her. Pulling away, his face showed absolute shock, at the same instant it registered in her brain too.  She quickly scurried off of him, landing onto her knees on the floor.

"Holy shit, Rey – I'm so sorry!  I didn't open my eyes!  I thought you were Kay!"  He frantically explained.  "I didn't realize we fell asleep together!"  His eyes were fearful as he looked at her.  Hers were wide as saucers as she gazed back at him too.

"Oh my God, Ben!  Same here! I thought you were Finn."  She said quickly.  "But how I could've made that mistake...."

He scrubbed a hand over his face, trying to wake his still sleep-fogged brain.  He could feel the tent in his pants and willed himself to soften.

"Jesus. Okay.   So, we both thought we were kissing someone other than who we actually were.  That counts for something, doesn't it?"   He asked nervously.

"Absolutely – yes!  Yes it does."  She took a deep breath.  "We didn't mean to kiss each other – so we didn't do anything wrong.  Right?  Okay?"

"Yes.  That's right.  Okay."  He sat up.   "We don't need to tell Finn or Kay about this...."

Inhaling deeply, she replied, a bit more calmly now.   "Definitely not."  She swallowed deeply.  "Um.  Is it okay if I grab a shower?  I don't want to leave right now – I'd get home before Finn leaves, and well..... I don't want to have to explain.  I texted him yesterday that I was at Obi and Anna's for a visit.  I'll just tell him I stayed over but forgot to let him know."

"Sure – that's fine.  If you don't want to go home, I'm sure Kay has some work outfits here that you could borrow.  A nice shirt or blouse at least."

She thought about it for a minute.  "Maybe.  But I don't want to impose on her stuff too much."

He shook his head.  "You know her – she'll be fine with it."

"But then, you'll have to explain that I stayed over...."

She could see him bite the side of his cheek.  "If I need to tell her, I will.  She doesn't stay over on work nights very often anymore.  Its probably been more than a month since she has.  So, if you wear it and give it back to me in a couple of days she'll never know."

Her face was conflicted.  "This feels wrong Ben.  We shouldn't be fibbing to Finn and Kay."

"Are you going to tell Finn you fell asleep here?"  He challenged.

"No."  She sighed.  "Things are still..... tenuous - between us.  I'm not trying to hide anything from him, but you know how he overreacts to things... "

"I do know."  He sighed too.  "Okay.  Let me jump in the shower before you. I'll only be 5 minutes."

­She frowned at him.  "Are you telling me it only takes you 5 minutes to wash that hair?!"

"It takes a lot less work than you probably think."  He smirked.  "I'll be back in a few and then you can have a turn."

****

About 40 minutes later he was standing with his forehead leaning against the windowpane, admiring the city in the mid-November morning sun.  Rey had already left, but he hadn't moved in the last few minutes.  Inhaling deeply, he closed his eyes - thinking - replaying everything that had happened both yesterday and today.

While she'd showered, he'd thrown together a quick breakfast for them, and had it waiting when she'd finished.  She had ended up borrowing one of Kay's blouses she'd found hanging in Ben's closet after all, but had looked so guilty when she emerged from his bedroom wearing it, he swore she was going to turn around and change back out of it.  However, he managed to calm her down by assuring her that Kay wouldn't mind – and that he would tell her she borrowed it if she wanted him to.

After they'd quickly eaten, she'd grabbed her things and got ready to leave.  She'd seemed uncomfortably shy though, so he'd decided to speak first.  "Rey, I'm really sorry about....what happened....this morning."

"Me too."  She nodded.  "It wasn't just you, Ben – so please don't blame yourself.  I was just as much to blame.  If you hadn't kissed me – I probably would've kissed you instead."  She sighed. "Its like I told you – Finn and I, we're not back to our old selves with each other just yet.  I am trying though, and well.....seduction is a part of that.  We just haven't gotten around to it yet since I've been back."  She mumbled, not quite looking at him.

His eyes had widened, realizing exactly what she was telling him.  "Oh.  Um.  Okay."  He stuttered, clearing his throat, waiting for her to meet his eyes again.

"I just wanted to thank you, again, for absolutely everything – and for taking such good care of me yesterday when I kind of zoned out.  I really wasn't in a good headspace – but I feel a lot better now.  So....thanks."  She leaned up on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around his neck, embracing him tightly.  As she pulled away, she planted a soft kiss on his cheek.  "I don't know what I would've done without you."

He'd just nodded, rendered somewhat speechless by her farewell.  Swallowing the lump from his throat, he'd finally found his voice.  "Take care of yourself today.  If you need anything – anything at all Rey – just let me know, okay?"

Smiling softly, she gave his bicep a squeeze.  "I will.  I'll call you later, okay?"

"Okay – I hope you have a good day."

"Me too.  Bye."  She whispered quietly, as she turned and walked to the door, giving him a final wave before it closed behind her.

After she'd left, it all kept running through his mind, especially their kiss.  Fuck.  That kiss.  He wasn't sure if he'd ever been kissed like that.  So softly.  It was intoxicating.  Kay had certainly not kissed him in any way that was even close to that in a very long time.  Exhaling a long, drawn out breath, he ran his hands through his hair.

He was embarrassed to admit it to anyone, but his girlfriend didn't really like sex.  It was hard on his ego, but he believed that he cared about her enough to be able to work through their issues.   The problem was, although she said she wanted to resolve things, they didn't seem to be getting any better.  He was sure that was why what had happened this morning happened.

It had been such a soft, almost innocent kiss, yet he'd definitely gotten turned on.  If it had gone on even seconds longer, he probably would have ground himself against her.  Thank God he didn't.  He would have been completely mortified.  And it all started with the slightest kiss.  He felt his dick twitch at the memory.  Growling, he tore his fingers through his hair.

Fuck.  He was totally sex starved.  He really needed to talk to someone about it.  But it was so fucking embarrassing.  He felt so....inadequate.  Like he was a terrible lover.  He didn't think that he was – his first girlfriend didn't seem to have any complaints – but they'd both been inexperienced, so who knows?

Maybe he should talk to Rey about it.  She might actually be able to give him some advice.  But it would be so awkward to have that conversation with a woman.  However, having it with a guy would probably be worse.  They'd probably look at him like he was a complete idiot.  Thinking it over, he decided that he would try to broach it with Rey.  Maybe she could help.  Although it would be an embarrassing chat, for whatever reason, he no longer thought that it was impossible to talk to her about the issues in his physical relationship with Kay.

Something indelible had changed in their relationship over the past few days.  They were closer somehow – even more comfortable with one another than they'd ever been.  Their families were connected.  That in itself still blew his mind.  And now they shared a secret about her past – something that could threaten her.  Something he'd do anything to protect her from.

Sighing again, he covered his eyes with his hand, feeling a headache brewing behind his temples.  Maybe Obi was right.  Maybe his Uncle Luke could help him make sense of all of this. But just in case he couldn't...

He picked up his phone and dialed a number he hadn't used in years.

The voice on the end of the line was curt, in a no-nonsense way. "Yes?"

"Cardo.  Its Ben."  He rolled his eyes and bobbled his head, as he realized that Cardo might not acknowledge him by that name, and quickly corrected.  "Kylo."

"You're alive."  The voice exclaimed in mild surprise.  "We weren't sure if the old bastard had taken you out before he croaked."

"He tried.  He was.....unsuccessful."  Ben replied.  An uncomfortable silence stretched out over the line.  "I require your services."

"They're not cheap."  Cardo replied immediately.

"I didn't expect them to be."  There was silence once again, until Ben added. "I need you to look into something for me.  Discreetly.  Completely covertly – as in untraceable inquiries."

Ben was met with prolonged silence again, until Cardo finally answered.  "Give me the details." 

****

Bodies shuffled around her as Rey sat in the packed train car on the T, making her way to work.  She had her hand wrapped around the post beside her, lost in thought as she tried to hold herself still from the rocking motion.

When she'd left Ben's, she'd texted Finn and let him know that she was going straight to work.  She'd let him know yesterday that she'd gone to visit Obi and Anna and wouldn't be back until late – and had just left it at that, hoping he'd assume she stayed there overnight.  It wasn't quite a lie, but it still made her chest tighten.  If she told him she'd stayed at Ben's he'd have all sorts of questions that she simply didn't want to get into.  She was trying not to dwell on what had happened to her parents, knowing that if she started answering questions and really thinking about it, she'd be sucked into a cloud of sadness once again.  Also, deep down she knew that because of the current state of their relationship he'd be concerned if he knew she'd ended up falling asleep on Ben's couch.  Regardless of the fact that it was completely innocent – she suspected that the knowledge would erode his trust and further damage their relationship.

She sighed deeply.  Her mind kept returning to last night and this morning – the things Ben had said to her – what he'd confided – as well as what had accidentally transpired between them. That kiss.  Damn!  She couldn't get it out of her mind.  It had been so sweetly, meltingly hot.   Her thighs clenched in recollection.  She hadn't really thought it was Finn – but her sleepy mind hadn't quite known that it was Ben either – lost somewhere between sleep and wakefulness, unsure whether it was a dream.  But when she'd felt the growing hardness pressed against her, she'd known it was real, and was probably seconds away from rubbing herself against him in pleasure.  Fortunately for both of them though, Ben had realized what was happening and stopped – literally just in the knick of time – else her sex deprived body would probably have taken it further – and she would have been mortified when she realized that it was him.  At least this way they didn't really have anything to feel guilty about.  The entire thing was an accident.  Keep telling yourself that - a voice whispered through her brain.  She'd just have to jump Finn when she got home tonight and relieve this tension she was feeling.

She sighed again.  Something had changed between her and Ben over the past 24 hours.  She couldn't explain it – but she somehow felt closer to him.  They'd always been easy around each other – it was one of the reasons they'd become close initially.  But now, she really felt as if they'd crossed some sort of threshold.  She knew that she could tell him literally anything, without hesitation, and that he wouldn't judge her, nor would it change how he saw her.  She wondered if he felt it too – this newfound openness and comfort between them that just seemed so......right.

Her mind continued to drift, eventually coming to Obi and Anna as well as the situation of her birth parents.  They were probably feeling worried and unsure about what had happened yesterday, what she thought about everything and how she felt about them.  Hopefully this wouldn't affect her relationship with them.  She'd have to return to them for another visit soon – maybe this weekend, just so they knew that although she'd initially been upset, nothing had changed for her.  She still loved them – and always would - no matter what.  They had raised her and given her everything they could - gave her the life she had now.  They were her real parents.  And that was all that mattered to her.