A/N - Hi All!  I know I keep apologizing for updating so late, but I've gotta say, this chapter fought me all the way.  Honestly, it was probably the hardest chapter I've ever written - and I really don't know why.  I'm finally happy enough with it, and I hope it doesn't suck - so  here it is .... I really do hope you enjoy it.  Its also quite long... so get comfy... grab a coffee or tea, curl up somewhere, and away you go!  The good stuff is coming up next....I promise.  Please don't forget to vote if you like it (and I really hope that you do) and as always I'd love to hear your thoughts!  Enjoy! (I hope 🙄).  And Happy Thanksgiving to all the Canucks who are reading this!

__________________*******************____________________

Ben was surprised at how quickly his first day flew by.  When he first stepped off the plane in L.A., his heart still felt heavy and his thoughts were filled with Rey, uncertain of how well he'd be able to focus on getting all he needed to do done.  He shot her a quick text to let her know he'd landed safely, grabbed his luggage from the carousel and headed to his hotel to immediately begin working.  His PA had done some research on potential office locations, and he had several viewings booked, starting that very day.  He'd also hired a recruitment firm to assist with finding some staff, and had almost a dozen interviews scheduled closer to the end of the week.  After a few hours, he was actually grateful that he was so busy, as it helped him re-focus and kept him from brooding over being away from Rey.

He called her that night though, just to check in, nervously wondering how she'd react to his kiss – whether she'd actually say anything or just avoid the subject.  He was disappointed to find that it was the latter.

When she answered the call, she sounded really happy to hear from him, but didn't mention anything about how they'd parted.  While he'd initially been a bit disheartened, he realized that she'd also been very busy, sounding extremely frazzled as she'd told him about her day.  So, maybe it had slipped her mind?  Yeah, sure.  That was the reason.

"Well, Temiri did manage to fuck up the system even more than it already was."  She huffed.  "It was probably a bit too complex for him to have tried to tackle on his own, but it was Phil who sent him – not me.  Now however, it'll probably take me the entire week to un-fuck it."  She growled.  "At least it'll keep me busy, but today was a really long day."

"Yeah, I know what you mean.  I already had 2 office viewings today."  He replied.

"Ben – wow - that's great!  Did you like either of them?"

"Not really."  Her answered.  "They were both a little too big and a too centrally located – which means they're out of the budget.  I harassed the realtor to show me some smaller ones that are just a bit further out of the downtown core tomorrow."

"Hopefully you'll find something quickly."  She told him encouragingly.

"I hope so."  He said optimistically.  "I'm actually interviewing for staff positions starting on Wednesday, so it would be good to get the office location out of the way."

"Maybe you could get everything done faster than you thought and even come home early....?"  She added hopefully.

He chucked quietly.  "That would be nice, but I sincerely doubt it."

"Can't blame me for trying."  She said, with a smile in her voice.  "I'm really glad you called though.  Even though it was a crazily busy day, I've gotten used to talking to you - just hearing your voice is good."

He waited a couple of breaths, hoping once again that she'd mention the kiss.  When she didn't, he responded to what she'd said.  "Same here.  It feels too quiet in my hotel room."

"Ugh.  Are you really going to stay in a hotel for the entire 6 weeks?"  She asked.

"I had intended to, but an apartment - or a suite hotel - would definitely be more convenient.  Maybe I'll ask the realtor tomorrow if there are any short term rentals available – preferably near wherever the office ends up being.  I guess I'll just have to wait and see."

She was quiet for a few seconds.  "You sound like you have so much to consider.  I definitely don't envy you, but I'm sure it'll all work out."

"I really hope so."  He sighed.  "I'll be pissed if this whole trip turns out to be a bust."

"It'll be fine Ben.  You'll find an office, good staff and some temporary lodgings.  You've got people helping you.  It won't take long – you'll see."

She could hear the smile in his voice when he replied.  "I envy your optimism."

"That's me – your Rey of sunshine!"  She quipped.

"That you are."  He said quietly.

They were both silent for a few seconds before Rey said.  "I really should go.  It's getting late here and I have to be back on site at 7 AM."

"Oh shit!  Sorry, I forgot about the time difference."

"Its okay."  She said softly.   "I'm really glad you called though."

"Me too.  Next time I'll make sure it's a little earlier."

"Don't worry about it.  I'll be happy whenever you call.  Good luck over the next few days, Ben."  She told him.

"You too.  I hope you're able to fix your system without too much trouble."

"Thanks.  It should be fine.  I think I figured out the problem – well, problems as in plural – today.  It'll just take some new parts and a bit of work."  She inhaled deeply which caused her voice to sound a bit breathy when she added.  "Have a good night Ben.  How about I call you tomorrow?"

"Sure – I'd like that.  We'll talk then.  'Bye Rey."

"'Bye."

He exhaled loudly and ran his hand through his hair once the call disconnected.  She didn't sound off in any way.  In fact, she sounded perfectly normal.  However, she didn't even mention the kiss.  How could she not mention it?  After all, its not as if they'd ever really shared a kiss like that before.  Was she maybe waiting for him to say something?  Fuck.  Should he say something if they spoke tomorrow?  Scrubbing a hand over his face, he sighed again.

He'd thought that by kissing her, that it would solve the dilemma over telling her his feelings – and figuring out hers.  How is it that he now felt even more confused?  He'd hoped that that kiss would lead to something.  Even a conversation would be helpful.  But perhaps she just didn't feel what he did.  He sighed again.  He couldn't be that wrong, could he?  After all that they'd shared in the Bahamas, he'd been more certain than ever that she had feelings for him.  Maybe it wasn't quite the same – maybe not quite as deep as his feelings ran – but he knew she had to feel something – something stronger than friendship - for him.  But maybe she just wasn't ready to admit it yet.

He just had to give her more time.  She'd seemed happy to hear from him, so he'd continue to call and text her, but he wouldn't mention the kiss.  It might be a stupid idea, but at this point it was probably better than trying to talk to her about it over the phone.

Decision made, he walked into the bathroom and began stripping off his clothes to have a shower before going to bed.  And if his mind drifted to Rey while under the spray, and his body reacted, he could finally stop denying himself as he'd forced himself to do over the past few days.  After all, he was only human.

****

Week 1

Rey felt like she'd blinked and her week in Detroit had flown by.  She'd been incredibly busy while there – dealing with the fallout of Temiri's attempts to manage a failure that was well beyond his experience.  What started out as a small malfunction had turned into a major clusterfuck, with an immense amount of damage being inflicted by a couple of novice missteps.  She was going rip Phil a new one when she got back to the office for sending Temiri to this repair call alone – someone still much too junior for this task.  Phil simply should've know better.  It took her the entire week just to bring the system back on line.

She was thankful that she was so busy though, the long days helping to keep her mind occupied and her thoughts from constantly dwelling on Ben.  Every so often – maybe only a hundred or so times a day – she'd think of him – and that kiss - and smile.  And when she did, her emotions waffled between hopeful, excited anticipation, confusion and a quiet sense of longing that she immediately squashed whenever it started to creep up on her.  When that happened, her hand would reach up to fiddle with the necklace at her throat, the touch of the unique bauble making her feel closer to him, somehow reassuring and comforting her, while making her heart beat faster at the same time.

Like usual, they'd kept in almost constant contact that week – even more than they used to.  They'd often text each other during the day, sometimes just to touch base and see how the other was doing, while other times playfully bantering silly things back and forth.  Every time her phone dinged, chiming with the sound of Ben's text alert, she'd have to suppress her smile, the anticipation killing her until she had a free minute or two to check her phone.

They also spoke on the phone almost every evening.  It quickly became her favourite time of the day, when they caught each other up on everything, or otherwise just chatted about anything that came to mind.  She loved hearing his voice as he told her about his day, then letting her tell him about hers in turn.  Their conversations were always comfortable - like a lazily flowing river, meandering easily through different topics.  She couldn't remember ever talking on the phone quite so much!  And although she missed being with him, those calls helped to ease a bit of the tightness that had started to settle in her chest from the moment they parted at the airport.

The days passed by quickly though, until finally, the gruelling week was over.  Her system was fixed, the client was pleased, and on Friday night she suddenly found herself back in her apartment, puttering around, feeling a little lost.  Although she'd been happy to be home, that first night back had been overwhelmingly quiet and lonely – a feeling of melancholy settling into her bones once she was alone with plenty of time to think.  After being with him so constantly in the Bahamas, it suddenly felt weird to be back in Boston without him – knowing that he was so far away, and that she wouldn't see him for weeks.

Those thoughts had put a huge damper on her mood.  She'd tried not to seem sad when Ben had called later that evening, not wanting him to sense that anything was amiss – nor let him know how wrong she felt without him, and how much she was starting to miss him.

She really didn't want to spend all her time moping around however.  It had been difficult, but she pushed herself to try not to think of him too much during those first few days after returning home.  She'd had a lot to do anyways – a ton of domestic chores had piled up, including the laundry she hadn't done when they'd returned from the Bahamas.  She also needed to restock her woefully empty fridge, and unless she wanted to eat take out for days on end, grocery shopping was also high on her 'to do' list.  At least she'd be occupied, which should keep her from thinking about him every minute.  She sighed dolefully. If she was lucky, she'd be able to keep it to every other minute....or two.

Week 2

As became their habit, the nightly calls continued into the following week.  So far there'd only been one evening when they weren't able to connect.  He'd been out with a potential client - and because of the time difference she'd been asleep by the time he was finished with his dinner meeting, exhausted after several hectic days.  While she was disappointed, she knew that schmoozing was sometimes a part of the business.  And one night really wasn't a big deal.  But still, after a day of not hearing his voice, she missed him just a little bit more.

Her chest swelled with pride at his determination to succeed and all that he was methodically accomplishing for his business.  He'd told her about his office – how he thought it was in an almost perfect location – far enough outside the business core to be reasonable, but still technically 'downtown'.  He was also still looking for qualified staff, wanting to build a reliable team for his new, distant office.  He'd managed to hire one staff member, but was still on the hunt for a few more, telling her that he had several other interviews scheduled into the following week.

As everything began to come together, during their conversations he started outlining his detailed plans as well as ideas for the office and team structure.  He'd told her that the person he'd hired would be the senior strategist in the office, responsible for running the day to day business aspects of the L.A. section of the firm.  He'd already mentioned her in several of their conversations, seemingly excited by the prospect of working with another strategist, telling Rey how impressed he was with the woman's knowledge and experience and how he was looking forward to seeing her in action with clients.

During one of those calls, she felt that something in the tone of his voice changed whenever he spoke of her.  It was just a subtle difference, but whatever it was caused a small pang of something foreign and unpleasant to echo in her chest.  She tried to dismiss it, knowing that while he had other staff in his Boston office, he'd previously been the only formal 'strategist' in the firm.  So when he talked about how great it was to finally be able to discuss his ideas for the business with someone who was on the same level - who comprehended the nuances and subtleties of what the firm offered, she could understand his excitement.  However, she couldn't deny feeling just a little apprehensive – worried that the stars were aligning to keep him in L.A.

Throughout all of their conversations though, there was no mention of that kiss at the airport.  It had been almost two weeks since it happened.  There was no awkwardness, no skirting around it - just nothing.  He was acting as if it had never really happened.  She'd initially been so happy that he'd kissed her!  But now, every time she remembered it, the thought caused a sad pang of disappointment to ripple through her heart.

Some days, she almost felt like she'd imagined it.  However, it did happen; her mind, and body, didn't let her forget it – especially in her dreams – which now seemed to focus on all the different places and ways in which they could kiss.  At the airport, in her apartment, in his apartment while cooking dinner, in a darkened movie theatre, or on the beach in the Bahamas.  The list went on and on.  Several nights, she'd woken with her heart racing, her body on fire for him, breath coming out in pants.  Sometimes, she found herself reaching for him in the bed, only to realize that of course he wasn't there.

Confused as to why he hadn't said anything about the kiss, she began to worry that maybe she really had read more into it than Ben had intended.  Beginning to question her understanding of their relationship, she started feeling gloomy and sad – with a tinge of depression settling in – drifting through her days almost aimlessly.

Needing a bit of reassurance – as well as companionship - she'd decided to visit Obi and Anna one evening.  Nothing cheered her up more than being with her little family – their love and care for her centering and grounding her like nothing else could.  And of course, being treated to one of her favourite dinners didn't hurt either.  She'd also used the visit to give Anna the glass globe she'd brought back from the Bahamas.  Anna had loved it, gushing over it in thanks and proudly setting in on the mantle to display.

Later that night, she was lying in bed, thinking about the blur of the last couple of weeks.  Since Ben had left, it seemed that in some ways, time had just.....stopped.  It felt as if she was holding her breath – keeping it locked in her chest, waiting to exhale.  Waiting to talk to him.  Waiting for him to come home.  Waiting to breathe again.

For a few days after her visit with Obi and Anna, she found herself feeling slightly more at ease and worrying a little less about things between them.  She could rest a bit easier, feeling somewhat happier and just a bit less like a fish out of water.  She still missed Ben terribly, but with her confidence restored, once again believed that everything would eventually be okay.

Near the end of the week though, her fear and uncertainty returned in full force.  In their latest call, he told her that he'd updated his company website to add the information about the new L.A. office, including an introduction to the recent additions to their staff.  After they'd spoken, she went to the Solo Strategies website to check it out, and her jaw practically dropped at what she saw.  His new Director of L.A. Operations – Celeste Winters – wasn't just pretty, she was stunningly beautiful.  She had perfect alabaster skin, deep mahogany coloured hair that was almost black – and the most startling blue eyes that Rey had ever seen on a woman.  The effect was positively striking.

Taken aback, Rey was immediately jealous, knowing that she couldn't possibly hold a candle to the woman in the looks department.  Recalling how he'd spoken about Celeste so animatedly, her heart began to ache.  Was he smitten with his new, attractive strategist?  She worried that he just might be.  If so, there was no way he'd be able to resist beauty like that, especially when it was quite literally in front of him every day for more than a month!

That night she'd dreamed of Ben again.  It was the same dream she'd had of them before, kissing in all kinds of different places, except this time, instead of kissing her he was kissing Celeste – and he was deliriously happy.  At one point, he'd raised his head and looked right at her, giving her the signature Solo smirk, before tilting his head back down and going back to ardently kissing the ebony-haired woman in his arms.  Rey had awoken on a sob, with tears streaming down her face.  It had taken her a long time to calm down afterwards, inhaling gulping breaths for several minutes, before her heart rate slowed enough.  She kept telling herself over and over again that it was just a dream, but after that, sleep had eluded her for the rest of the night.

The next day, she was not only exhausted but completely off balance.  Having gotten very little sleep the night before, she was grumpy, her mind still preoccupied with Ben's new VP and that horrible dream – no, that nightmare – with the image of Ben kissing the woman playing over and over on repeat in her head.  So when her boss hesitantly asked if she would consider taking another emergency trip the next day – this time just a short hop to Charlotte - she jumped at the chance, desperately needing the distraction.  She left the next morning, knowing that she'd likely have to spend the weekend there before flying directly to Des Moines for a scheduled inspection on Monday.

The site visit definitely helped to divert her attention, and once again broke her out of the funk she'd found herself in after seeing how gorgeous Solo Strategies' newest VP was.  This roller coaster of emotions – the up and down - was starting to wear on her though, and her temperament was starting to feel distinctly unstable.  Her nightly calls with Ben were her anchor though, the sound of his voice never failing to soothe her, while at the same time perking her up and bolstering her mood.

Unlike their easy camaraderie of the first week, however, she felt like their conversations were starting to become a little...off.  He'd stopped mentioning Celeste altogether, and during their last few phone calls, had actively steered the conversation completely away from his work – saying that he was so immersed in it all day that he just wanted to get his mind off of everything for a little while.  Truthfully, this made her a little nervous, sparking the slight worry that he might be trying to keep something from her.  She figured that her imagination was likely starting to run a little wild though, and that she was probably just misunderstanding something.

Wanting to respect his request, she tried to keep the conversations to more mundane topics, talking about anything and everything as long as it didn't involve his work.  She curiously asked him to tell her more about L.A. - if it was really hot there, whether he liked the city, was he managing to find time for his morning runs, and if the smog bothered him.  He'd just chuckled in response, telling her that yes, it was warm and in some ways ruggedly beautiful, but that there were too many highways that were jammed with cars for his liking.  He'd also told her about some interesting trails that he'd found, saying that he had been able to go for a few runs in the last couple of weeks – but not every day – muttering a few words about avoiding interferences.  Something about the way he'd mumbled it seemed a little weird though, catching her attention.  Unsure about what it could be, she'd let it go.  However, the feeling of unease that had been steadily building inside of her chest grew just a little more.

Week 3

A few days into the 3rd week of Ben's absence her spirits really and truly plummeted.  All of a sudden, she felt like her worst fears were coming to fruition.  She was lying on the bed in her hotel room in Des Moines, chatting with him when the conversation briefly touched on his work again.  He'd excitedly informed her that he was embarking on an advertising campaign – the first he'd ever done - attempting to make his company's presence in L.A. known - trying to get the word out to people and companies that wouldn't normally engage the services of a professional strategist.  He'd also told her that it was all at the urging of his new VP.  He'd laughed with a juvenile sort of glee, once again remarking on Celeste's brilliance.

They'd recorded and posted a short promotional video on social media to introduce his company, their services and the staff to the L.A. market.  Despite the twinge of jealously she'd felt upon his mention of Celeste, the sheer excitement in his voice made Rey smile.  She promised that she'd check it out when she had a chance, telling him that she'd let him know what she thought about it.

Rey watched the video immediately after they'd disconnected the call, her gaze glued to Ben's face.  She couldn't resist smiling softly as he said a few words, his two other staff standing off to the side and slightly behind him.  But it wasn't Ben's face that caught her attention – it was Celeste's.  She narrowed her gaze as it became fixated on the woman's reaction to Ben's speech – at the look on her face as he spoke.  I know that look.  She thought.  She'd seen it on countless women who'd tried to get Ben's attention in the past.

Fuck.  She cursed.  His new, stunningly beautiful, brilliantly smart strategist was clearly infatuated with him.  She let out a deep breath.  Not only was she beautiful, but the two of them had a lot in common - were working closely together – every day.  They spoke the same 'business' language and she was helping him to build his business – her knowledge of the L.A. market likely integral to his success there.  She was also extremely smart – brilliant, even.  Ben had used those exact words to describe her several times now – and was likely accustomed to getting any man she decided that she wanted.  And based on what Rey could see in that video, she wanted her new boss, Ben Solo.  How could he resist that?

As she continued to stare at their smiling faces, she realized that they'd make a beautiful couple.  Both with dark hair and pale skin, together they were striking.

Rey's stomach clenched as a wave of nausea washed over her.  This – this - was what she'd been afraid of.  Terrified of.  Celeste was everything Ben could ever hope to want in both a business partner and a mate.  The type of woman who could tempt him away from Boston.  Who could convince him to give up the life that he had and start a new one.  One without Rey in it.

The video had stopped playing, with Ben's face frozen on the screen.  She gently ran her finger over his image.  Please don't leave me, she thought helplessly, tears burning her eyes as her mind went over all the possible outcomes of Ben being in a relationship with his beautiful VP.  None of them were good.  And all of them likely ended with him being far, far away from her.

After she saw that video she couldn't get it out of her mind – causing the rest of the week in Des Moines to positively crawl by.  And because of it, she was in a bad mood.  A really, really bad mood.  Her usually chipper, slightly sarcastic nature was hampered by constant thoughts of Ben and his beautiful colleague.  She imagined that they were probably working long days, which would mean that they'd likely be having dinner together each night.  The thought was slowly but surely eating her alive, her mind conjuring up all the various things that were more than likely happening between them.  But because he didn't talk about work anymore, she simply didn't know.

To add to her confusion, although the two of them had continued to speak almost nightly, it was clear that something subtle between them had changed.  Unfortunately, she couldn't quite pinpoint exactly what it was.  All she knew was that something was different.  She'd tried her best not to let her tangled emotions and everything that she was feeling – resentment, sadness, hurt - bleed into their calls; however she wasn't sure that she'd been entirely successful.  Their conversations had devolved to the point that they'd now become awkward and a little superficial, the two of them behaving almost as if they were polite strangers, adding to her concern and tumbling her even further into despair over the increasing emotional distance she sensed between them.

Her fucked up mood had only improved marginally upon returning home on Friday night.  Still in the throes of her 'funk' as she was calling it, she'd been ecstatic to receive a call from Poe, which lifted her spirits immediately.  Telling her that he was in town for the weekend, he invited her to grab a drink with him and Zorii on Saturday night.  They hadn't seen each other since New year's eve and so she happily agreed, excited to catch up with them.

And catch up they did.  They'd talked and drank - a lot - well into the early morning hours, enjoying each other's company, all the while laughing and reminiscing, which also allowed Rey to get to know Zorii better.  They were both justifiably irate on her behalf when she'd told them about her breakup with Finn – and the eventual reason for ending it.  Zorii had simply told her to forget the fucking douchebag, while Poe just nodded regretfully, saying that he never thought that Finn was the right guy for her.

They'd both looked at her in surprise when she mentioned taking Ben to the Bahamas instead of Finn – also telling them that Ben was in L.A., having left immediately after their trip, or else she probably would've dragged him along for drinks.  Poe had just laughed, saying "So, you two finally sealed the deal, huh?"

Rey shook her head, adamantly.  "No Poe.  It's really not like that.  We're just friends."

Something must've showed on her face though, as Zorii elbowed Poe in the ribs sharply before he could add a stupid comment.  A few minutes later, Zorii leaned over and quietly whispered.  "Girl, you've gotta tell me all about that trip.  Some other time though – when its just the two of us."

Rey had just blushed, softly saying that it was really nothing – but that the two of them could meet for drinks next week if she wanted.

Watching Poe and Zorii together, Rey realized that the two of them looked happy.  Really, really happy.  Poe had always been a consummate womanizer, but Zorii appeared to ground him in some way.  Somehow, they just seemed to fit together.  The realization caused a little twinge of jealousy in the vicinity of her heart – wanting that for herself – but she quickly brushed it away, not wanting to sour their good mood.  The evening had definitely helped to lift her spirits and lighten her heart, bringing her out of the doldrums – at least for a little while.

Week 4

The emotional reprieve granted by her evening out with Poe and Zorii didn't last very long.  The next day she'd found herself constantly touching the pendant at her neck, once again lost in her brooding thoughts, feeling like she was letting herself become completely overwhelmed by her emotions.  He'd only been gone three weeks, yet she felt like a ghost, drifting through her lonely apartment, unsure of what to do with herself.

It made her angry – at herself.  She wasn't some helpless waif who needed a man to survive, but for some reason she just couldn't get her mind off of him.  Couldn't stop wanting him there with her.  Wanting their relationship to go back to the easiness they'd always shared.  And although she was sad and depressed and terrified over what might be happening in L.A., she just missed him – so completely that it hurt to even breathe - feeling as if a part of her soul was missing.  And after their latest call on Monday night, she'd definitely felt like he'd closed himself off from her.

As per Ben's request, they'd continued to avoid the topic of his work over the past few weeks.  But given her obsession with his new VP, she'd decided to throw caution to the wind and ask him point blank about how things were going with the new office – wanting him to open up about what was going on – because it was clear to her that something definitely was.  She could feel it.

She asked if he liked his new staff – which she knew now numbered 3 in total - and whether they'd found any new clients yet.  He told her that although everyone was still getting to know each other, the team seemed to gel pretty well, and that so far he was pleased with how it was going.  The worry was evident in his voice however, when he told her that they hadn't managed to land any new projects yet.  Although they were actively working on it, meeting with as many potential clients as possible, they still hadn't been successful.  He'd explained that he was drawing on the financial reserves from his Boston office, but didn't want to deplete those too much.  Therefore they needed to bring in some new projects – and they needed them soon.

Once again, he spoke very highly of Celeste's professional connections and contributions thus far, mentioning how helpful she'd been at recruiting the other two staff members, and at her ideas for finding clients.  Based on the tone of his voice, Rey was now positive that something was off in the way he spoke about her.  She was certain that he was hiding something about the woman - like there was something he didn't want her to know.  Unfortunately, she was afraid that there was only one thing that it could possibly be.....

Gasping out a sob, her chest tightened up so much that she felt like she couldn't breathe.  Everything she had wanted had been within her grasp – she'd only had to reach out and grab it - but it was quickly slipping away.  She'd been such a fool.  If only she had realized it sooner, maybe she could have done something.  Told him.  Kissed him.  Anything.  But now it was too late.  Her eyes had filled with tears at the realization.  She was losing him.  And she didn't know what to do.

Her feelings of confusion and uncertainty, longing and desire for him were at war with her wish for him to be able to find some happiness in his life.  If he didn't have any romantic feelings for her, didn't she want him to be happy?  To find someone to love, and who would hopefully want to love him back in return?  Someone to make him smile and laugh?

Her breath hitched as her tears started to fall, finally overwhelmed enough to allow herself to cry freely, knowing what her answer was – what it always would be.  He deserved laughter in his life after all that he'd been through with Snoke, and then Kay..... And he deserved to have someone wonderful to share that life with.

Although her heart was breaking, she knew that his happiness was the most important thing in the world to her.  It could never be any other way.  And if someone else could make him happy – someone like Celeste – then she'd be happy for him.  She only wished that fate would've allowed it to be her.

****

Ben sat forward on the sofa in his temporary apartment and scrubbed his hands over his face.  Fuck.  Something was up with Rey.  He'd suspected it for a couple of weeks, but now couldn't deny it any longer.  He'd just gotten off the phone with her after one of their nightly calls, and he could hear it – feel it - in their conversations, which had been becoming more and more awkward and stilted as the weeks went by.  She'd initially seemed fine in those the first few days after he'd left, but over time that seemed to have changed and she grew quiet whenever he spoke about work.  Because of that, he'd tried to stay away from that subject and lately had avoided talking about anything to do with his progress and what he'd accomplished in the past few weeks.  Instead, they talked about the weather, about Rey's work, some new and interesting restaurants he'd discovered and things like that.

He wasn't sure, but he suspected – had a feeling – that in some way this change might somehow revolve around Celeste.  She couldn't know, could she?  If so, how could that be?  His Dad had always told him that women had a weird sixth sense about things.  He could hear his Dad's voice echoing in his head.  Women always find out the truth.  Always.  The thought chilled him.  How would she react when she found out?

He let out a deep sigh, cursing under his breath once again.  Celeste was brilliant – no doubt about it - excellent at what she did, with an engaging personality that he was absolutely sure would make potential clients feel at ease.  She was also strikingly beautiful, with dark hair and creamy white skin, which in some ways also wouldn't be a bad thing when she dealt with clients.  Some people erroneously put their faith in - or were lulled by - a pretty face, rather than competency.  He wasn't one of them, but if some of his clients were, well then her looks definitely wouldn't hurt his business, considering Celeste had both beauty and brains.  However, it didn't help solve his current, most pressing problem.

Shaking his head, he inhaled deeply, pondering his dilemma, wondering how in the fuck he'd gotten here.  He hadn't thought twice about hiring her.  Upon first meeting her, he was impressed by her – her experience, skill, knowledge of the business – as well as her witty charm.  He was thrilled that she was interested in working with him and hadn't hesitated to make her an offer.  She was quite literally the perfect addition to his growing office.

She was also very laid back and easy to get along with – making it easy to get to know her – as she quickly and effortlessly became an integral part of his growing team.  She'd also been slowly but surely trying to wriggle herself closer to him.

Initially, she'd behaved completely professionally, maintaining a polite demeanour and an acceptable distance between them.  But as they'd gotten to know each other better, that was changing.  Recently, she'd begun casually suggesting things that had them spending time together outside of the office, innocently offering to bring him to her gym, or to go running with him to show him the best trails in the area, and even to go to dinner together to show him some of the great little restaurants in the city – appearing to want him to get more comfortable with L.A. during his time here.

In the first few days after he'd hired her, he'd thankfully taken her up on her suggestions, naively going for a run with her one morning, and then dinner the next night, assuming that they'd be talking business.  They'd definitely started out talking about the firm, with him sharing more of his ideas for the future with her.  She'd enthusiastically added in some of her own suggestions – including the ad campaign on social media.  He'd eagerly agreed with the idea, and they'd spent the rest of their meal going over their strategy for launching it.  In his mind, it had been a productive evening.  By the end of their dinner, he was even more impressed with her skills and ideas, excited at the thought of what they'd planned, looking forward to what she would bring to his business.

Sighing, he shook his head over his own stupidity.  It had taken him a few days – over a week to be exact, just after their dinner - before he'd finally realized that she was looking for something more between them.  She wasn't exactly being subtle about it either; it just took him awhile to notice it.  They'd shared a Lyft home after their dinner that night, and it wasn't until that precise moment that he became aware of the look in her eye and just how close she was sitting to him.  He'd put as much distance as he could between them in the confines of the car, but she seemed to shift closer and closer.  Thankfully, they'd reached her apartment before she could wiggle close enough to press herself into his side.

He scrubbed a hand through his hair in frustration.  Rey was right – he really was a Stupidhead when it came to women – actually feeling a little foolish for inadvertently encouraging her.  

However, her actions were honestly becoming a huge pain in the ass now.  In the last few days she'd seemed to have gotten even more comfortable with him, now brandishing him with constant little touches here and there – a soft squeeze on the arm to highlight something she was saying, boldly straightening his tie the other day when she'd said it was crooked (he didn't think it was), standing a lot closer to him than necessary, little things like that.  It was partly his own fault, and he knew that if Rey were here, this is likely one of the situations she'd probably 'rescue' him from.  Or kick his ass over.  He wasn't sure which.  Probably both.

He hadn't wanted to upset Rey though - so he'd avoided telling her.  But he really wasn't sure what to do about it.   He was seriously contemplating calling his dad to ask for advice, wondering if Han had ever had to deal with something like this before.  Up until now, he'd been trying to tip-toe around Celeste, but he figured that eventually he'd have to address the problem and actually speak to her about it.  He really didn't want to lose her – she was very smart – but he couldn't have her literally chasing him around all the time – basically panting after him – it simply wasn't professional.  Not to mention the fact that it made him uncomfortable, plain and simple.  However, if he actually spoke to her about it, she might be embarrassed enough - or feel that their professional relationship was too compromised – and just quit.  Why did life have to be so fucking complicated?  But this couldn't go on.  He'd try to give her 'the cold shoulder' over the next few days, and if she persisted in her pursuit of him he'd have to sit her down....

His mind went back to Rey, wondering if she'd somehow picked up on some sort of weird vibe from him over this?  He certainly hoped not.  He wouldn't be heading home for almost 3 more weeks, but whatever she seemed to be feeling, he didn't want it to fester.  It felt like she was slowly slipping away and he needed to do something about it.  Urgently.

Raking his hands through his hair again, he wracked his brain trying to come up with a solution.  He tugged at the strands, willing the pain to clear his head.  After a few seconds, he realized that he was reverting to one of his old coping techniques - one that Snoke had taught him - and immediately dropped his hands into his lap.  Taking a few calming breaths, he began using some of his healthier coping strategies and felt himself start to relax a little, clearing his head in the process.

Maybe he should just ask Rey for advice?  She'd always been the one to 'rescue' him in the past, so she might actually have some good ideas about what to do.  That way he could just tell her - explain what had been going on.  The situation would probably piss her off, but if her withdrawal from him was actually related to Celeste then telling her might actually help. And if that wasn't the problem, at least it would hopefully break this weird tension that seemed to have settled between them.

The more he thought about it, the more his idea made sense.  Next time.  He thought.  The next time he spoke to her, he'd mention that he needed her advice – and tell her all about the problem – all about Celeste.  Since they spoke almost every day, that would likely be tomorrow night.  He'd tell her tomorrow.

Decision made, he smiled, feeling like he'd finally be able to have a real conversation with her again – one that would hopefully not only be useful for him, but would also restore the easy camaraderie that had somehow seemed to have evaporated over the last few weeks.  Frankly, he missed her.  Missed her advice and thoughts about things.  The easy conversations that they usually shared.  Missed the deeper connection that those moments brought.

Telling her about his dilemma with Celeste just had to work.  He could almost imagine it....She'd get all indignant on his behalf and help him come up with some sort of plan to let the woman down without jeopardizing his business relationship with her.  And that would bring them closer to each other again - back to the way they were when he'd first left her – just after their trip.  At least, he really, really hoped it would.  If it didn't work, he wasn't sure what he was going to do.

He sighed deeply, rubbing his hands over his face.  They'd been so much closer after the Bahamas.  He knew – beyond a shadow of a doubt - that he loved her deeply – that she was the woman for him.  He couldn't lose her.  Without her, it would all be meaningless.  She was literally the center of his universe.  After his fucked up past, he wanted nothing more than to build a life for them together, with him happily orbiting around her, his sun - for the rest of his days.  Shaking his head, he laughed and rolled his eyes at the cheesy analogy.  Maybe the forces of the cosmos really were influencing him even more than he realized...

****

The next morning, Rey found herself sitting at her desk, twirling her pen around aimlessly.  Her mood was still glum and her mind was preoccupied with thoughts of Ben.  So far she'd accomplished very little for a Tuesday morning.  Taking a deep breath, she decided that she had to snap out of it, seriously worried that Phil would fire her if he caught her daydreaming like this.  Suddenly her phone rang, startling her out of her brooding, gloomy thoughts.  Not recognizing the number, she answered with her typical professional response.

"Good morning.  Rey Kenobi speaking."

"Hi Rey – I hope I'm not disturbing you?"  The somewhat gruff voice asked from the other end of the line.

A smile instantly appeared on her face at the realization that it was Han.  "Han!  Hi!  No, not at all!  I was just.....pondering things.  Even though I'm supposed to be working."  She laughed quietly.

She heard his gravelly chuckle on the other end of the line.  "What kind of things?"

"Oh.  Life."  She replied.

"Well, if you've solved that mystery, I was wondering if you had a couple of hours?  I was hoping you could come by and we could discuss a few of those options you mentioned for automating my south Boston warehouse.  Then maybe you could get me something more formal soon?"

Rey smirked, feeling as if providence had just struck – desperately needing something to divert her attention, even if only for a short while.  And just the thought of being with Ben's father when she felt so distant from Ben himself felt comforting somehow.  But this was business – work.  It was a permissible distraction.  Right now she'd like nothing better than to immerse herself in the design of a new system.  She knew it would  almost be therapeutic.  "Oh!  Sure.  When?"

"I know its really short notice, but are you free this afternoon?"  He asked uncertainly.  "Or tomorrow if this afternoon doesn't work?"  He added hastily.

She answered immediately.  "This afternoon is fine Han - I'd really like that.  What's the address?"

"I'm at the house, actually."  She could hear a hint of mischief in his voice as he replied.

"Oh?  But, don't you want me to come to your office or do a site visit to get a feel for the layout?"

He was quiet for a moment.  "I thought that maybe it would be nice if you came to the house for now, and we could go over the plans and discuss it in theory?  Then maybe you can follow up with a site visit next week?"  There was a slight pause.  "If you came to the house maybe you could give me a hand with the Falcon.  Let's just call it part of the proposal cost – which I'm happy to pay for."  He noted deviously.

"Ah.  I see."  She smirked, chuckling.  "You know, hiring an actual mechanic would probably be cheaper right?"

"Yeah, but I figured we could kill two birds with one stone and all that.  So whadya say Kid?"

Laughing, she shook her head and rolled her eyes to herself.  "That would be fine, Han.  Can you give me an hour or so?"

"Of course!  You remember where we live right?"

"I do.  See you soon."

"Looking forward to it Kid."  He replied devilishly.

Rey couldn't believe that Han wanted to talk business while working on the Falcon, but what the hell, she thought.  It would be fun to tinker on that old car and potentially land Solo Logistics as a client.  Smiling, she went to tell her boss that she was going to a preliminary project proposal meeting after lunch, and likely wouldn't be back in the office till tomorrow.

When she'd told him, Phil had looked at her askance and just waived his hand nonchalantly, telling her not to worry about it, saying that even if she finished up early to just take the rest of the afternoon off.  Rey's eyebrows shot up at that, but didn't comment.  What the fuck?  Phil never did stuff like that.  Shrugging it off, she finished up the files she'd been working on and ordered an Uber to take her to the Solo's house.

****

Han was waiting for he when she arrived at the house, leading her into the dining room where he had a large paper copy of the warehouse layout spread out on the table.

"Oh!"  She smirked when she saw it.  "This is perfect.  Walk me through your process, showing me where each activity happens."

They spent the next hour going over the details of Han's facility, with Rey making notes for herself, and going through some additional thoughts and ideas with him on how to automate and streamline the process.  Once Rey felt she had enough information to put together some very preliminary designs and cost estimates, she turned her attention to the other matter at hand.  "Okay, so show me this marvelous Falcon I keep hearing about."

Han beamed like a proud Papa as he led her through the house to the large attached garage.  "Now, she's not much to look at,"  He told her,  "but don't let her fool you.  She's got it where it counts.  When running smoothly she'll do zero to sixty in less than 4 seconds."

Rey's eyebrows shot up.  "Really?  That's pretty impressive for her vintage.  I'd like to see that."

"Well, she needs a little work first."  He grumbled.  "But that's why you're here."  He grinned.  "I'm sure you'll help get her one step closer."

Rey rolled her eyes once again, an affectation that she realized she did a lot around Solo men.  Laughing quietly, she replied.  "Well, I'll see what I can do."

About an hour later, Rey was bent over the hood, waist deep in the engine, trying to torque a bolt as she reinstalled the alternator that she'd been tinkering with.  When they'd first entered the garage, Han had tossed her a brand new pair of mechanics overalls in her size, which she strongly suspected he'd purchased for this exact occasion, and just grinned.  Thus far, she'd had a wonderful afternoon – her time with Han helping to clear her mind of the unsettling thoughts she'd harboured for the past several weeks.  It had been far too long since she'd been able to tinker on a vehicle – something she usually only did with Obi, and she realized how much she actually missed it.

Likely realizing that she'd probably be too busy to actually find the time to come and tinker with him, Han was devious enough to lure her here with the proposal for his warehouse, continuing to keep her officially on the clock while they worked on the Falcon.  Not long after they'd started, he'd brought out a couple of beers.  She'd initially tried to decline, saying that she was still technically working, but he just raised an eyebrow and continued to hold the bottle out to her until she took it.

"Well, since I'm the one paying you, I clearly don't mind."  He'd told her, and eventually she accepted the beer with a shrug.

"Thanks."  She grinned, taking a long swig, causing Han to give her a knowing smirk.

At some point, their banter circled around to Ben and his trip to L.A.  Han mentioned that Ben had called them a few times, but he wasn't completely sure how things were going.  Rey tried to keep it light – not wanting to ruin her mood - but let him know that she spoke to Ben pretty regularly, and caught him up on all of the progress his son had made in the past several weeks.

Han grinned with pride.  "Yeah, I'm not surprised.  When that boy puts his mind to something, literally nothing can stand in his way.  Sometimes that's not always a good thing."  He muttered.

Rey knew he was referring to Ben's time with Snoke, but let the comment slide.

"Well, he's definitely accomplished a lot in a very short period of time.  I just..."  She stopped, trying to think of how to say what she wanted to without making his parents worry.  "I just hope he actually comes back."

Han immediately chuckled.  "Oh, I don't think that'll be a problem.  He'll come home, don't you worry."

"I don't know Han, I just miss him I guess - and its affecting my perception."  Her head was still under the hood, as she torqued the last nut she needed to tighten.  "I miss our conversations.  We still talk all the time – but its been different since he's been in LA.  Its.... not the same over the phone."  She purposely avoided telling him her suspicions about Ben potentially having started a relationship with his new VP.  That just wasn't something she was comfortable discussing with his parents.

Han propped one hand on the front of the car and the other on his hip, giving her a bewildered look.  "I can't imagine Ben 'talking all the time'."  He chuckled.  "Ben has never really been a stellar conversationalist.  He's always been kinda shy."

"Its true."  Rey told him.  "But I know what you mean.  When we first met – he was very reserved – definitely shy – around Finn and I.  He still is around other people.  But not with me – not anymore."  She looked up with a grin.  "I can definitely say, we can tell each other anything – and have."

The look on Han's face oozed curiosity.  "Oh really?"  He asked, a devious note in his voice.  "Anything?"

She glanced over at him, frowning over his obvious challenge.  "Yes.  He told me all about Snoke."

Han's brows shot up in shock as he straightened his posture.  "He told you about Snoke?"  She nodded, and he whistled, a secret smile on his face.  "Oh, then he's got it worse than I thought."

"Got what?"  Rey's brow's furrowed in obvious confusion.

Giving her a fatherly smile, he said, as if clarifying, waving his hands around for emphasis.  "You know!  It."  Rey's brows crinkled further, and she just kept on looking at him oddly, clearly not understanding what he was trying to convey.  At her continued confusion, he sighed.  "Rey, he's never told anyone – not a sole, other than his therapist, and us – about Snoke.  Ever.  Not even Kay.  That means, you're in."

"I know that – but I'm still not sure what you mean."  She said hesitantly.

He sighed.  "Rey, now, I know you're a bright girl, but I'm just gonna come right out and say this."   She cocked her head, still looking at him with a puzzled expression on her face, waiting to see what he would say.  "Rey....I'm pretty sure that my son is in love with you.  Leia and I knew it from the day we met you."

Her face paled.  She suddenly went very still and her heart began to pound.  "Why would you say that?"  She whispered, her voice suddenly weak.

"Because I've never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you, Rey.  Not Kay, not anyone.  And based on the look on your face right now – I'm guessing that you're in love with him too."

She stood there in stunned shock as tears began to trickle down her cheeks.  Han sighed again, walking over to give her a fatherly hug.  "I'm not sure that he is."  She told him brokenly.  "He's never said anything.  Never done anything.  The entire time we were in the Bahamas, he didn't act any differently to me than he usually does.  Well, not really...maybe.  I don't know."  She sighed.

Han's brows shot up as he chuckled. "Not a stellar conversationalist, remember?  And honestly, I don't think he has a lot of experience dealing with women."  He grumbled.  At that, Rey glanced up at him with a 'no shit' look on her face, causing Han to laugh before asking cautiously.  " Rey, have you ever said or done anything to let him know?  To even give him a hint that you see him as anything more than a friend?"

"No."  She whispered hesitantly.  "I've....I've been too scared.  Afraid that I'd lose him completely if he knew how I felt – and he didn't feel the same.  But he did kiss me goodbye at the airport.  And it was....well....a real kiss."

"Oh, he did, did he?  Well that says something at least."  She could feel Han's chest rumble before he let her go, looking down at her with amusement.  "I'd say that somewhere in Ben's huge, brilliant and sometimes maggoty brain, he probably thinks the same thing that you do, and has been just as terrified of telling you how he feels."

Her eyes were still shining when she looked up at him.  "Do you really think so?"  She asked hopefully.

"I do.  That sounds exactly like my son."  He smiled again and chucked her lightly her on the chin.  "Don't worry – it'll all work out."  Giving her another squeeze, he let her go, then moved to sit in the driver's seat.  With an uncertain, but hopeful look, he turned the key in the ignition.  When the engine sputtered and then caught, he looked up at her and let out a triumphant laugh.  "Hot damn!"  He shouted, grinning hugely.  "Welcome to the family, Kid."

****

Early the next afternoon, Rey was sitting on her couch, staring off into nothing, thinking about everything that had happened between her and Ben – pretty much everything that transpired in the past 6 months – looking for signs that what Han had told her could possibly be true.  Every look.  Every laugh.  Every smile.

What she realized was, while there were certainly times – a lot of them – where their interactions were clearly platonic, when she put everything together and really thought back, something had definitely changed between them sometime around Thanksgiving.  At that point, things between them seemed to become – deeper – as if their connection, and their friendship, was elevated to another level.  So, maybe the notion of Ben having feelings for her – feelings that involved more than friendship – wasn't completely crazy.

After her visit with Han yesterday though, she simply couldn't get his words out of her head.  Ever since he'd said them to her, they'd kept replaying in her mind, over and over again.

'I'm pretty sure that my son is in love with you...'

She'd been completely distracted for the rest of their visit, her mind no longer on the task at hand, no longer focused on tinkering with the Falcon.  However, Han had been ecstatic that they'd finally got her started – telling her that it had been a couple of years since that happened.  And even though she didn't purr the way he wanted her to, he'd thought it was a great start.  Giving her a huge pat on the back, he'd chuckled and told her that he'd have to invite her back again, 'to finalize the proposal.'

At that, Rey had just rolled her eyes again and laughed.  Hey, if he wanted to spend more money than he needed to on that proposal, who was she to say no?

Han had tried to cajole her into staying for dinner, telling her that Leia was going to kick his ass when she got home and found out that Rey had been there but didn't stay.  She'd originally said no – wanting nothing more than to get home and deconstruct everything, but almost as if summoned, Leia arrived home and Rey had known that there was simply no way that she was going to get out of that house without having dinner with the Solo's – especially if Leia shared Han's belief about Ben's feelings for her....

In the end, she was really glad she'd stayed.  They'd ordered in Italian, and had plied Rey with wine, getting her to open up even more than she had with Han, telling them all about their trip to the Bahamas, and filling Leia in on Ben's new office too.  Through it all, Leia had just smiled at her indulgently.

"You miss him."  Leia said affectionately.

"I do."  Rey said, nodding.  "Very much.  To tell the truth, I've felt a little shell-shocked since our trip.  We spent days together – and then – poof! – he had to leave.  Since then, I've felt so alone."

Wearing an expression that looked like she was keeping an important secret, she replied.  "Well, I'm sure he misses you just as much."

'I'm pretty sure that my son is in love with you...' 

The words had flitted through her mind once again, her eyes finding Han's who just took a sip of his wine and smirked at her once again.  Shifting her gaze back to Leia's, she quietly replied.  "I hope so."

When she'd arrived back at her apartment later that evening, she'd literally fallen into bed, exhausted and pleasantly buzzed.  The three of them had polished off two bottles of wine, and she felt more lighthearted than she had in weeks.  The amount of wine had certainly helped with that, but after spending the day and evening with Ben's family, she felt closer to him somehow, once again hopeful that everything really would be all right.

She was feeling more than a little drunk.  And with her head still spinning, she simply didn't have the mental fortitude to call him right then.  Instead, she shot him a quick text to say that she'd had a long day, was going to bed and would talk to him tomorrow night.

When she'd woken that morning though, slightly hung over, Han's words were still echoing in her head, distracting her.  Running late, she'd rushed around her apartment, struggling to get her shit together and to get to work on time.  However, she was literally useless when she got there – unable to concentrate or focus on anything for too long.  Even her appetite was off – and actually had been for several days - her colleagues noticing that something was bothering her, and knowing her love of food, appeared to be truly worried when she declined their offer to go to lunch with them or for them to bring her back some food.  Her boss had even cornered her, telling her that she looked pale and even thinner than usual.  She'd had to convince him that she wasn't sick – or pregnant – she thought with a laugh.  But he'd also not so subtly suggested that she take some time off to overcome whatever was bothering her and to 'feel better', using up some sick leave or banked time in the process.

That was how she'd found herself at home in the middle of a workday, pondering – no brooding – over her relationship with Ben.

'I'm pretty sure.....that my son is in love with you...'

Could it really be true?  Had he actually fallen in love with her – just like she'd fallen in love with him?  And both of them were simply too afraid of losing the other to admit it?

She'd agonized over his feelings for weeks.  The very thought was exciting – and terrifying.  And daunting.  How did one go about telling their best friend that they're so much more than that?  She wasn't completely crazy - he must feel something – even his parents seemed convinced that he did.

But since they'd last seen him he'd met a new colleague in L.A.  Celeste.  She was pretty sure that they had no clue about his beautiful new VP – and how meeting her may have changed things for him.  If he'd had any feelings – had felt something for her when he'd left, he may not feel that way about her anymore.  Especially if he didn't think she returned his feelings.  With Celeste in front of him every day, he may have just....moved on. 

She was heartsick.  And she was terrified.  Of losing everything that they shared.  Of losing him.

Inhaling a shuddering breath, she dropped her face into her hands.  The thought of not working for a few days was definitely not appealing, as that would just give her even more time to continue thinking about – no, brooding over - her situation with Ben.  She did however have a lot of vacation and overtime stored up and had promised her boss that she'd take the next couple of days off and return to the office on Monday.

Suddenly, she felt a desperate need to talk to the one person she could confide in about all of this – the only mother she'd ever really known.  She needed to talk to Anna.  Anna would be straight with her – wouldn't sugar coat anything.  Grabbing her phone, she gave Anna a quick call to let her know that she'd be stopping by shortly, ordered an Uber and headed out the door.

Obi and Anna were definitely surprised to see her show up with such short notice – and in the middle of a workday no less.  When she refused Anna's offer of cake, Obi's eyebrows shot up and he took a closer look at her, asking if she was feeling ill.

Her eyes were glassy, and she was wearing a sad smile as she shook her head.  "No.  I just....needed someone to talk to.  About stuff.  Um...."  She took a deep breath, looking over at Anna meaningfully.  "About relationship stuff."

"Oh."  Obi replied, glancing at Anna.  "Well.  I'll just...I was in the middle of...something.  So...I'll just get back to it.  Right now."  He stuttered uncomfortably before making himself scarce.

Rey couldn't help but chuckle at his retreating form.  "Why do those words make men positively cower?"  She asked Anna.

"Bah.  Don't mind him.  He just doesn't want to see you hurting.  And you clearly are.  What's wrong Susse?  Are you still upset over Finn?"  She asked concernedly, reaching out her hand and giving Rey's a squeeze.

"What?  No!"  Rey laughed.  "I don't think I've even thought of him in weeks!"  She swallowed, directing her gaze to the table.  "Its someone else."

Anna cocked her head thoughtfully and studied Rey for a minute.  "Is it Ben?"  She asked quietly.

Rey's eyes flicked up to Anna's in surprise.  "Was it so obvious?"

Anna shook her head.  "Not really.  Only to those who know you – both of you."  She smirked.  "And you were in the Bahamas with him a few weeks ago, no?"  She shrugged.  "Did something happen?"

"No.  Yes.  Well, maybe."  Rey replied.

Anna chuckled.  "So, which is it Susse?"

She sighed deeply before answering.  "He went to L.A. right after our trip – he's still there now – and he won't be back for another few weeks.  But,"  she bit her lip as she looked up at her adoptive mother  "he kissed me just before he got on the plane.  Like – a real kiss.  Not a friendly, best friend buss goodbye.  He's never done that before."

"And?"  Anna grinned.  "Did you not want him to kiss you?"

"No.  I mean – no that's not it.  I wanted him to kiss me.  I think I've wanted it for awhile."  She sighed despondently.  "But since then, he hasn't said anything about it – hasn't even mentioned it.  We text each other every day – several times a day – and call each other almost every night too, but....its like it never happened!"

"Have you mentioned it?"  The older woman asked meaningfully.

"What?"  Rey looked at her in concern.  "Well, no?  I mean – what if I misunderstood and he didn't intend for it to be a kiss like that?  And since then, he's been really busy with his new office – and his new VP – you should see her Anna, she's so beautiful.  Positively stunning.  He's posted some promotional videos about his new staff – and you should see how she looks at him.  And she's in his line of business....I mean, how could he not fall for her -."

Anna just sat back with an amused, motherly grin on her face, eventually cutting her off.  "Rey."  She said sternly.  "Slow down.  You sound like you're making a lot of assumptions about this woman, and about what he wants and what he doesn't."  She took a deep breath and squeezed her daughter's hands.  "Susse, what do you want?"

Rey's eyes began to fill with tears.  "Him.  I just want him.  To be with him.  To make him happy.  I only just realized it at the end of our trip."  She said sadly.  "But I don't want to lose him if he doesn't feel the same!"  The tears began coursing down her cheeks.  "He's honestly my closest friend!  I....I can't imagine what my life would be without him – even if its just his friendship!"

"Do you love him?"

She inhaled deeply, her breath shuddering out of her chest shakily, before nodding.  "I think so."  Then closing her eyes, she added.  "Yes, I do."  Wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, she tearfully whispered.  "But I'm scared Anna.  What if he doesn't feel it too?"

"Susse.  Yes, it's a risk, but you know that all the best things in life are.  You two are very close – Obi and I have seen it – as have Han and Leia.  I can't believe you'd be so wrong about something like this."  She smiled, still holding Rey's hand, placing her other on top of it.

"I actually saw Han and Leia yesterday."  Rey confessed.  "He called me for a consultation on one of his warehouses, but we ended up working on the Falcon instead."  She told her sheepishly.

Anna laughed heartily.  "That old Smoothie!  I can't believe he conned you into that."

Rey blushed.  "He did.  But while I was there we also negotiated a preliminary proposal for me to design and install one of our systems at his flagship warehouse – so we're even in my books."  She grinned.  Her face became more serious then, as she whispered.  "He also told me that he thought that Ben was in love with me."

Anna's brows raised so high they almost hit her hairline.  Before she could respond however, Obi's voice unexpectedly cut in.  "If Han Solo told you that his son is in love with you then you'd better believe it's true."

They both turned to see Obi standing in the kitchen doorway with a soft smile.  Rey's eyes flicked between the two of them, feeling a wealth of love flowing from the both of them, like a soothing balm for her frazzled emotions.  The corners of her mouth ticked up into a happy grin.  "Have you been listening in the entire time?"  She teased.

"Only parts of it."  He grumbled.  "But I'm telling you, Han would never say that to you unless he was 100% certain it was true.  So, rest assured – that boy loves you."

Rey's smile lit up even brighter, and for the first time in a long while she finally felt like she could breathe again.  It was as if a huge weight was suddenly lifted from her shoulders, dissolving to ash and scattering in the wind.  Turning her gaze back to Anna, she blinked the tears from her eyes.  "Anna....I feel like such a fool.  What should I do?"

Anna smiled back at her, squeezing her hand once again.  "Susse - if you love him, and want him, you should go to him.  Don't wait – go now.  He's alone and probably just as confused about that kiss as you are.  Go there and tell him how you feel. If you're wrong – and we don't think you are – he'll still be happy to see you, and he will understand."

Rey took a deep breath and stood, moving around the table to give Anna a big hug, holding out her arm for Obi to join them.  "Thank you both.  I love you so much!  Whatever would I do without you?"

"We love you too – so very much.  You're our daughter in every way except biology.  We just want you to be happy."  Obi replied, pressing a kiss to her hair.  "And to give us some grandkids."  He added.

Rey gave him a hard pinch, causing him to yelp.  "Who knows?  We might be a tiny bit closer to getting there.  Maybe.  Eventually."  She laughed, and squeezed them both tighter.

****

On the way home, the scenery flew by, but Rey didn't notice it, as lost in thought as she was.  Should she really do it?  Just show up in L.A.?  If so, should she tell him first?  What would she say?  'Hey, I'm coming for a visit?'  How would she explain that?

No.  It would be better to surprise him.  It would show her his reaction – if he was happy – or not – to see her there.

Work wouldn't be a problem, since her boss had all but ordered her to take some time off.  She'd call and let him know that she'd be away for a little bit longer than initially planned, maybe as long as a couple of weeks.

She smiled, getting excited at the thought – at the prospect – of seeing Ben again, probably as early as tomorrow.  She'd missed him.  Terribly.  Missed the sound of his deep voice, his smile – the one that she was pretty sure was only for her, his scent – that mixture of sandalwood and pine that was just so masculine it made her knees go weak, his eyes – those wonderfully expressive eyes that usually told her everything that he was feeling, and his touch.  She really missed his touch.

Since she'd been thinking about their interactions over the past few months, she was starting to realize how much they actually touched now.  He touched her all the time.  Held her hand.  Hugged her.  Pressed a kiss into her hair.  It was casual – almost instinctual – without thought.  And she did the same – holding his hand or hugging him almost constantly when they were in the Bahamas.

She smiled thinking about it.  It seemed as if he needed to touch her as much as she needed to touch him.

Suddenly, it all became clear.  It was as if lightning struck, her breath freezing in her chest as realization dawned.  Her heart began to pound – almost beating out of her chest.  Holy shit – she was such an idiot!  Friends did not behave like that – did not touch like that.  Well, maybe some did – but not in the way that her and Ben did.  And then there was how close they were.  How entwined they were in each other's lives.  How much they relied on each other – understood each other.  Other than an absence of the more overtly physical stuff – which she positively craved - they already behaved like a couple!  More so than her and Finn ever had!  She shook her head at her own naivete.  It had been there – right in front of her – all along.  The entire fucking time.  Well, maybe not the entire time, but for the last several months at least.

A laugh bubbled up from her throat.  She really was an idiot!  Suddenly she felt happier - lighter than she'd been in ages.  All of this time she'd been stressing about wanting to be more than his friend, when it was so very clear that they already were so much more than that!  He felt it too.  She was certain of it.  He was just waiting for her to realize it too.

She needed to see him – to go to him, like Anna suggested.  To tell him how she felt.

Smiling, she grabbed her phone and began to search for flights to L.A.