A/N - Hi Lovelies!  This is a bit of a longer one for you - moving the story to where it needs to be.  I know its taken a little longer to get here than you all imagined, but it'll all come to a head soon - I promise!  I know - its torture!  I'm sorry!  Please send me some love, comments, thoughts, whatever, and don't forget to hit the little star to vote!  Enjoy!

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It was a perfect day – absolutely perfect.  The sun was shining in an almost cloudless sky, with only a few white puffs dotting the canvas of blue here and there.  A fresh ocean breeze was blowing - cooling them nicely while they sped along in a catamaran, with Rey excitedly hanging over the side of one of the massive floats, looking to see if she could spot any dolphins in the water.

Ben laughed at her childlike exuberance.  "I've never really seen any dolphins in the ocean!  I've heard that they're playful, and want to see it for myself!"  She told him.

She could hear the Captain laughing behind her, warning in an amused, sing-song lilt.  "Be careful there, m' Lady!  The wind is up and we're movin' at a good clip.  I'd hate to have to turn out of the wind to go back and fetch you if you fall over."

Turning around, she grinned back at him.  "Don't worry, I won't fall over."  Smirking, she glanced up at Ben, who was standing behind her.  "And he'll catch me if I do!"

Ben rolled his eyes.  "I was prepared to do that – but now I'm reconsidering."

She stuck out her tongue.  "You'd really let me fall?"

"Of course not."  He grumped.  "Still - be careful."

Shifting so that her back was to the float she looked around the vessel, never having been on a catamaran before.  She had expected something a bit smaller, with one of those little mesh nets in between the floats, but this was clearly something that was built for commercial tours like the one they were on.  It was a decent size, with the area between the floats made of something sturdy and solid beneath her feet.  It was slightly sunken, holding a few small storage chests and a cooler, and plenty of room to sprawl out if you wanted to lie in the sun.

Earlier on, the Captain had merrily bellowed out the ship's rules as they'd left the small harbour that the hotel shuttle had brought them to that morning.  He'd explained that they'd be sailing around a number of the smaller islands before lunch, then moving to one of the more popular coral reefs where they'd spend the afternoon snorkelling and swimming.  He'd also told them that they could help themselves to the large coolers of water and rum punch, but warned on a chuckle that they were all to take it easy on the alcohol until after they were done snorkelling.  "My wife makes the rum punch and is a bit heavy handed with the rum!"  He joked.  "And although I'm certified in water rescue and CPR, I really hate all the paperwork that I have to do when someone's had too much sun and rum – and it happens more than I'd like - so please, pace yourself with the punch!"

Rey and Ben had just glanced at each other with twin smirks, silently agreeing that they wouldn't have any of the alcohol till later.  There was simply too much to see and do – and since there wasn't really any place to hide from the sun, neither wanted to end up woozy or worse - with heat stroke.

There were two other couples on the ride with them.  One was a man and woman who appeared to be slightly older than them; the other was a couple who'd broken the ice, happily saying hi and introducing themselves to everyone as Todd and Tyler.  The older couple gave the guys a dirty look and kept to themselves, not even acknowledging Ben and Rey.  Rey rolled her eyes and wandered closer to extend her hand at them.  "Hi Todd, I'm Rey."  She said with a genuine smile, before shaking Tyler's hand too.  Ben followed suit immediately after her, also introducing himself and shaking their hands.

"So, where are you guys from?"  She asked curiously, attempting to further break the ice, aware they'd be spending the day together in relatively close quarters.

"Canada."  Todd replied.  "Toronto, to be exact."  He added before looking Ben and Rey over astutely.  "And I'd say you're American – somewhere along the eastern seaboard, I think."

Rey smiled, nodding.  "Boston."

"Ah, yes."  Remarked Tyler.  "I thought it was maybe around there....but you don't really have the typical accent."

Rey laughed, then broke out her Bostonian cant.  "While I was born in the U.K., I've lived there since I was three, so can sling it with the rest of them."

Todd and Tyler both laughed, looking to Ben who also gave them a taste of his own Bostonian accent, explaining.  "My old boss – he was the ultimate asshole – hated the accent – and drove it out of my speech in the six years I worked for him.  So, its just normal to speak without it now.  I actually have to try if I want to use it."

"I hope you told that asshole to go love himself!"  Tyler remarked.

Ben's eyes lit up dangerously as he grinned back at them.  "I did – eventually."

Rey watched their by-play, happy that Ben seemed to be speaking so casually of Snoke.  Previously, he'd either gotten very angry or physically flinched at the memory of that evil bastard.  She hoped that in some small measure, this was a sign that he was continuing to heal from the experience.  Hopefully he'd one day be able to put it completely behind him.  It certainly seemed that he was well on his way to doing so.

"Good for you!  Its always so cathartic to tell off people who really, really deserve it. Its like, until you do, the universe is off balance, and once you do it, everything is right in the world again."  Todd told him with a huge smile.

Tyler nodded in agreement.  "I told my boss off once.  Told him to stick it where the sun don't shine.  It was the best day of my life – knowing that I wouldn't have to go back and work for that asshole any more."

"It changed my life too."  Ben added.  "It took awhile, but since then, everything has just gotten better and better."  He noted, giving Rey a soft smile.

She smiled back, happy that he was still so calm about discussing something that she knew was so painful for him.  Wanting to change to subject, she glanced back at Todd and Tyler.  "So, are you two enjoying you're vacation so far?"

The two men looked at each other softly, before they both nodded.  "We're on our Honeymoon."  Tyler gushed.  "I got to marry the man of my dreams, and spend a whole week with him in a tropical paradise."  He said, gazing at Todd with stars in his eyes.

Todd leaned over and gave Tyler a gentle kiss.  "Awww, Hon."

"I'm so happy for you."  Rey said sweetly.

Todd slung his arm around Tyler's shoulder.  "And you guys?"

"Just a vacation."  Ben answered.  "A little getaway from life and stress."

"Yeah – everybody needs that once in awhile."  Tyler said understandingly.

"Its been great so far."  Rey smiled up at Ben.  "We've had a lot of fun.  I've really been looking forward to today's trip though.  I can't wait to snorkel – and I really hope we see some dolphins!"

"Me too!"  Chimed Todd.  "I've never seen any up close – well, at least not in the ocean.  I went to Marineland when I was a kid, and they had them there.  But I always wanted to see them in the wild."

"Fingers crossed!"  Rey added, just as the Captain yelled that they were approaching Harbour Island, and started pointing out some local landmarks that could be seen along the shore.

They spent the rest of the morning cruising around a number of the smaller islands, while the Captain gave them a brief history of each one.  He spoke about how although all of them were Bahamian, they were all subtly different and distinctly unique from one another.  After a couple of hours, he anchored in a shallow bay for them to swim and to eat the packed lunch that was provided, once again cautioning about drinking too much of the rum punch just yet.

Throughout the tour, Rey and Ben hung out with their new acquaintances, continuing to get to know them, finding them quirky and funny, and generally enjoyable to be around.  The third couple still kept to themselves, not even acknowledging the rest of them, which was fine with Rey.  Maybe they were just shy around new people, but they seemed to act distinctly snobby.  If they wanted to be that way, it was probably better that they just ignored each other.

Once they'd all finished eating, the Captain set off again, telling them they were heading to the reef, and to be prepared to see the most beautiful corals and fish they'd ever see in their lives, running through a list of all the species they'd probably see.  Rey just laughed, shaking her head at the pride that the man clearly had for the native Bahamian sea life.

Suddenly, out of the corner of her eye, she caught a quick flash of something in the water.  Turning to stare where she'd seen the flash, she was rewarded when a dolphin jumped out of the water, swimming alongside the boat in the same direction.  "Dolphins!"  She cried, pointing to where she'd seen the large fish.  Everyone clamoured to the side of the boat to watch, as several more of them began jumping beside the floats.

"Oh my god – look at them!  They're gorgeous!"  Todd exclaimed.  "There's a whole school of them!  Is that even what you call them?"

"Who cares?"  Tyler added excitedly.  "As long as we're seeing them Babe, that's all that matters!  Oh look, there are even more of them now!"

Rey grinned at Ben hugely before she leaned over the side, trying to skim her hand against the water, wanting to see if she could actually touch one.  She could feel Ben suddenly grab her tightly around the hips.  "Jesus Rey!  Are you fucking crazy?  Not so far – or you're going to fall in!  We both will!"

His tone was a bit sharper than he'd intended, given that he had his hands all over her mostly bare skin, and was pressed up behind her, his own hips against her ass, trying to make sure that she didn't fall overboard.  If he wasn't so scared, his body would definitely be reacting.  Thank God it wasn't, since she'd definitely feel it!

"If I can touch one, it'll be totally worth it!"  She exclaimed.

"Not if we're dead!"  He yelled into her ear, causing her to laugh joyfully.  That laugh did something to him.  It was so carefree and full of life that something unfurled in the pit of his stomach, and he fell just a little bit more in love with her than he already was.  His grip on her hips tightened slightly, pressing himself even closer against her – not from lust, but from a simple desire to feel more of her.  She really was the sunshine and joy in his life.  His Rey, he thought, laughing along with her, caught up in the simple joy of the moment.

He felt giddy, he suddenly realized.  Remembering his Uncle Luke with Mara, he smiled.  A warm feeling coursed through his chest.  Giddy.  He shook his head, chuckling, before tightening his arms around her once again.  Giddy.  Who'd have thought that Ben Solo – the moody kid/teenager and formerly twisted adult - would ever call himself giddy.  It defied logic, but there it was.  He was giddy.  Because he was crazy in love with his best friend, enjoying a moment with her, wanting it to never end.  Giddy.

The dolphins antics continued for several more minutes.  They all continued to watch the them in awe, as they almost seemed to want to play with the passengers – trying to keep up with the catamaran, each of them jumping in turns, swimming faster than Rey thought was possible.  Eventually though, the dolphins dropped off and disappeared just as quickly as they came.  Ben pulled Rey back into the boat and gave her a stern look.  "Did you get to touch one?"

"No."  She told him still smiling broadly.  "But that was still the most fun and excitement I've had in a long time, so thanks for not dropping me."  She quipped, wrapping her arms around him in a grateful hug.

"I should've."  He carped back jokingly, leaning his cheek on the top of her head, his heart still thrumming with the feeling of her so close.  "Then maybe you would've learned your lesson."

"Probably not."  She replied, smirking.

Ben rolled his eyes and shrugged.  "At least you'll be able to get up close and personal with all kinds of fish when we snorkel."

"I'm looking forward to it – but I've gotta say, now that I've seen the dolphins, I'm good.  Even if all the fish are in hiding around the reef and we don't see any, I won't be disappointed."

It turns out that they weren't disappointed.  Both Rey and Ben were impressed with the reef the Captain had brought them to.  Brightly coloured fish were plentiful, slowly swimming around, between the corals, seemingly unbothered by the presence of the snorkelers.  And the corals themselves were beautiful – in varying shades of vivid colours.  Everyone took care not to touch them, as instructed by the Captain, since some corals stung, and generally Bahamian law prevented anyone from touching the corals, since bacteria could cause disease in the corals and vice versa.

After about an hour of exploring around the reef, everyone decided they'd had enough, climbing back aboard the catamaran to relax and enjoy the ride back, complete with the now infamous rum punch.

Rey squeezed out her hair and started to dry off, watching as Ben walked over to the storage locker to drop their snorkels into a large box.  He was still wet – his hair dripping onto his shoulders, having only given it a quick squeeze after coming out of the water.  The droplets on his back and shoulders glinted in the sun, adding to the overall appeal of his very masculine silhouette, making her heart speed up just a little bit.  But that was simply Ben to her now – her heart usually beating a little faster whenever he was near.

Glancing over her shoulder, she could see Tyler staring at Ben with an admiring expression, and she giggled out loud.  See, men and women, she thought to herself.

Having been caught blatantly ogling Ben, Tyler gave Rey a sheepishly apologetic look.  "Sorry, Sweetie.  It's just that....that's one hot boyfriend you've got there."

Rey laughed.  "Trust me, I know."  She continued to wring her hair out, nonchalantly adding.  "But he's not my boyfriend."

Todd came up beside Tyler and snickered.  "Oh, Sweetie – you'd better climb that tree and seal the deal before someone else does, then."

Rey's mouth fell open on a laugh, before trying to set them straight.  "No, no – its not like that.  We're really just friends – best friends – and have been for almost two years."

Tyler tsked at her.  "Oh – sorry Hon - I don't know how I didn't realize that you're not into men."

Her eyes widened.  "Um, no.  I do like men."  She laughed.  "Sorry."

"Oh Honey, don't apologize."  Todd cut in.  "Another boyfriend then? "

"No.  Not anymore."  She replied hesitantly.

Todd nonchalantly waved his hand in the air.  "Well, whatever the reason is that you're not into him though, make sure you let him down gently."

"Wait – what?"  Rey asked in confusion.  "Let him down from what?"

"From you dearie.  That man looks at you like you're the love of his life!  You know, the apple in his pie, the cream in his coffee, the "o" in his– "  Todd replied, before Tyler cut him off sharply by slapping his hand against Todd's mouth to stop him from finishing the last part of his sentence.

"I think she gets the idea."  He added tritely.

Rey looked back and forth between the two of them, then glanced at Ben who was now making his way back over to where they were standing.  "But –"

She didn't get a chance to finish before Ben stepped up to her.  "Hey.  All good?"  He asked.

"Um – yes."  She replied, flustered.  "I was just getting dried off."

His eyes narrowed as he looked at her, noting a pink tinge on her cheeks.  "You look flushed.  Are you thirsty?  Do you want some of that punch stuff now?"  He asked.

Gathering her wits, she smiled back nervously, tossing the towel to him.  "Sure.  I'll grab them though – you're still dripping."  She told him before hastily escaping.

Glancing over at Tyler and Todd who were still standing beside him, they both shrugged, giving him innocent looking smiles before stepping away to return their own snorkelling gear.

"Well that was weird."  Ben said out loud, still feeling like he was missing something.

****

Several rum punches later, Ben found himself leaning against the side of one of the floats with Rey tucked up between his legs, sound asleep with her back against his chest.  He wasn't even entirely sure how she ended up in this position.  She'd been sitting beside him, happily chatting with their new friends, when he suddenly felt her start to slump against him.  In order to prevent her from falling over with her face in his lap – which he probably would've enjoyed in any other circumstance – he moved his leg so she was cocooned between them with his arms wrapped around her.  At that, she basically leaned back, got comfortable against his chest and was fast asleep in 30 seconds.  Glancing down at the top of her head, he laughed to himself, marvelling at her.  When she was tired, the woman could fall asleep anywhere - and be dead to the world - totally out, in literally seconds.

He let her sleep like that for 10 or 15 minutes or so, but then started getting uncomfortable.  At some point, she'd shifted slightly, and the way she was now leaning back was starting to crush his balls.  He figured he'd better move her if the ever wanted there to be a possibility of having children one day.  As gently as possible, he leaned forward to scoop her into his arms, repositioning her so that she was sitting in his lap, across his legs, with her face tucked against his chest.  Leaning down, he gave a relieved sigh and pressed a soft kiss into her hair, smiling contentedly.

Looking up, he noticed Tyler and Todd staring at him smugly.  Feeling like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar, he glanced away quickly.

"She really doesn't have a clue, you know."

Ben glanced back up at the couple.  "About what?"

"Your feelings for her.  She has no idea."  Tyler shook his head.  "Poor thing."

Todd added.   "You really should tell her, you know."

Ben was silent for a few heartbeats before exhaling a quiet sigh.  "Its complicated."  He murmured quietly.

Tyler gazed at him in understanding.  "It always is.  It's a risk, isn't it?  Laying it all on the line.  But you just might be surprised by how it all turns out.  You'll never know if you don't try though."

Ben was silent for a minute, chewing on his bottom lip, before giving them a single, sharp nod.

Could he do it?  Risk it all?  He still wasn't sure she was ready though.  But like Tyler said, he'd never know if he didn't take the risk....

He was leaving for L.A. in two days though.  Was the timing right?  He'd be gone for so long.  But if he didn't tell her, anything could happen while he was gone.  She could meet someone new – and then where would he be?  Fuck.  Why did it have to be so fucking complicated??!!

Swallowing thickly, he leaned down to press another kiss to the top of her head.  Tonight.  He decided.  He'd tell her tonight.  She needed to know.  It was time.

****

It wasn't long before they were back at the wharf, getting ready to board the shuttle back to their resort.  They'd said goodbye to Tyler and Todd, who were staying at a different resort, but exchanged contact information with them, promising to send pictures and to keep in touch.  They also vowed to get together for dinner if they ever found themselves in the other's city.

Ben and Rey both dozed on the way back to the resort, feeling the effects of a full day of activity, sun and alcohol taking their toll.  Neither wanting to cut their last night short, they decided that they needed a nap before dinner, both crashing for an hour when they got back to their room, before showering and heading to the resort's posh steakhouse for dinner, where they'd made a reservation a few days earlier.

Having made his decision about telling Rey how he felt, Ben was extremely nervous.  What if it didn't go the way he thought?  What if she didn't feel the same?  They'd had such a great time together, if it went badly, it would taint the memory of their vacation together.  But if it went well, it would be a fond memory that he was sure they'd both always carry with them.

He huffed out a nervous breath, his hands shaking a little, as he scanned the menu.  Rey heard him, and glanced up in concern.  "Are you all right?"  She asked.  "You seem a bit – out of sorts."

"I'm fine."  He answered quickly.  "Maybe still a bit groggy from this afternoon."

Her eyes narrowed, sensing that there was more, but let it drop.

Later, as they were enjoying their dinner, Rey couldn't keep from moaning out loud at each bite she took of her steak.  Ben grinned at her in amusement.  "That good, huh?"

"Shut up."  She replied bashfully.  "I can't help it.  Its literally the best steak I've ever had.  It's melting in my mouth!"

"I didn't know you liked steak so much.  There's a really great place near my office – I'll take you there sometime."

"I'd like that."  She smiled back.  "But in future, you're going to have to qualify which office you're talking about, since you're going to have two!"

"True.  It still seems a bit surreal.  I can't believe I'm opening another one.  I just hope I can make it as successful as the first – even more so."  He exhaled nervously.  "The whole thing could end up being a huge clusterfuck."

Rey looked up at him, confidence shining in her eyes.  "It won't be a clusterfuck.  It will be successful – I feel it."  Her smile faltered a little.  "You'll likely be travelling a lot more now though.  This might be the last time we'll get to spend any real time together for a long while."

His lips thinned and he gave her a curt nod.  "I know – life will be busy – but that doesn't mean we can't keep in touch while I'm away.  I'll expect daily texts, calls or FaceTime sessions with you."  He quipped.  "And I promise, when I'm back from this initial trip, we'll do something fun."

"I'm going to hold you to that!"  She smiled wistfully.  "I just hope that you don't change your mind while you're there.  You might, you know.  If that happens, it'll be really hard to get used to.  I'm not sure what I'd do."  She said quietly.

"What's that supposed to mean?"  He asked, bewildered.

She couldn't tear her gaze away from his as she answered.  "It means that I'd be really, really sad if you chose to stay in L.A. – permanently."

His eyes widened.  "My life is here Rey.  Why would you think that I wouldn't come back?"

"But what if you meet someone there?"

He looked at her in confusion.  "What exactly do you mean by meet someone?"

"I mean a girl – a woman.  What if you meet a woman there and decide you want to stay?"

His eyes widened before softening.  "That will not happen Rey."  This was his opening – the one he was looking for – he should tell her now......

"But you don't know that!  You can't say that for sure!"  She said frantically.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure that I can."  He smirked.  "Rey, I promise that I will not meet someone in L.A. who will make me want to stay there."  His eyes softened as he gazed at her with a tender smile.  "My family is in Boston.  You're in Boston.  I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

Now is the time, he thought.  Tell her now!  "Rey....I...."  His throat began to close up as his heart pounded in his chest and his hands began to shake.  "I.....I need to tell you something.... something I probably should've already told you..."

He sounded so serious.  Rey immediately panicked at the tone in his voice, frightened at what he was about to say.  Had he already met someone back home?   Is that why he was so certain that he'd be coming back?  Her brain short-circuited, irrationally worried that he was going to try to put some distance between them, and that this was the way he'd start to let her down easy.  "Don't!"  She choked back a small sob.  "Please – stop!  Don't say anything more!"

Ben was taken aback, confused and more than a little terrified that he really had misread – misunderstood – everything that he'd been so sure was between them. No.  He thought, gazing at her speculatively – there was something else going on here.  Regardless, she seemed so panicked - her eyes wide and frightened.  Suddenly unsure, the moment seemed to have been lost, and it no longer seemed to be the right time for any declarations of love.  He inhaled deeply and cleared his throat, swallowing the lump that had gotten stuck there.  "Okay."  He replied quietly, blinking back the sheen of moisture in his eyes as the adrenaline started to fade and disappointment washed through him.  Letting out a shuddering breath, he added.  "But I promise you Rey, I will come back."

She gave him a small, resigned smile.  "I hope that's true Ben.  Regardless of the reason."

Breathing deeply once again, he closed his eyes for a moment, before staring into her eyes intensely.  "Trust me, Rey.  It is."  Taking another deep breath, he asked.  "Do you trust me Rey?"

She nodded frantically, her eyes still wide.  "Good.  Then believe me when I tell you that I'll be coming back – right on schedule.  Okay?"

"Okay."  She smiled.  "I'm going to hold you to that."  She replied shakily, her heart aching at the notion that he may have already met someone – someone he hadn't yet told her about.

"Noted.  And if I break my promise I give you permission to fly there and haul my ass back home where it belongs.  Deal?"  He offered, eyes twinkling, trying to lighten the mood.

"Deal."  She grinned back.

****

After they finished their meal, they lingered in the restaurant for a few minutes, trying to decide what to do for the rest of the evening.  They'd gone dancing at the resort's "club" last night – spending a few hours on the dance floor between drinks, just casually enjoying the music and having fun.  They'd turned in a bit earlier than usual though – knowing that they had to be up and ready to meet the shuttle at 8:30 AM for today's catamaran excursion.

Tonight however, they were both tired, their energy sapped after spending the day in the sun and water, and so wanted to do something a bit more low key.  They also still had to pack their things and be up relatively early once again to be checked out and ready to meet the shuttle at 10:30 AM for the trip back to the airport.  Their flight home departed at 1 PM.

Overhearing their debate, their server mentioned that there was a comedy show playing in the theatre, noting that many of the other guests had seemed to enjoy it.  Both agreed that it sounded perfect, and after thanking her for the suggestion, headed to the venue to catch the 8 PM show.

A few hours – and many laughs later – they decided to go for one final nighttime walk on the beach.  It was the last night of their vacation after all, and it would be their last chance to enjoy the evening ambiance, the starlight and the ocean breeze.

They meandered slowly across the beach, absorbing the peace and beauty of the moonlight.  Rey slipped off her shoes and wandered towards the water, softly sinking her toes into the wet sand at the shoreline, letting the waves lap at her feet.

Ben watched her standing in the moonlight for a moment before joining her, shoes in hand.  He heard her take a deep breath, before turning to smile at him.  "I'm going to miss this place."

"Me too."  He told her on a soft smile.  "But, that's the beauty of vacations.  When they're over, you can always come back."

"You'd want to come back here?"

He shrugged.  "Here.  Someplace else.  Wherever.  As long as its with you, it'll be memorable and fun."

Her heart swelled.  "Ben."  She whispered.  "That's so sweet."  She grinned up at him.  "This was really great.  I had an amazing, wonderful time here – with you.  I.....I wanted to say thank you, for agreeing to come along – with all you've got going on.  It's been so very special to me – with just the two of us here.  So, you just name the place and the date, and I'll happily go anywhere with you."

Unable to resist any longer, he stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her, sighing in contentment when he felt hers wrap around his waist too.  I love you.  He thought.  Would she freak out if he just said it?  She'd seemed unreasonably panicked earlier when he'd tried to tell her, and now he was hesitant to broach it again.

"I know that this is probably going to sound weird,"  She began, "but ever since things ended with Finn I've been trying to find my feet – to find me – what I want to be going forward.  And I feel as if this trip has kind of been a turning point.  That I've finally put it – put him - behind me, and can just move on."

"Good.  I'm glad."   He told her, sounding relieved.  "I've watched you almost....re-emerge these past few weeks without him.  Remember that night out with Poe and your friends?  You're more like that – more vibrant, more open - less reserved.  I mean, even before, you were like that when it was just you and me, but now its just who you are all the time.  The real you.  Its nice to see her around other people too."  He joked.

Her eyes became a little glassy.  "I never realized that I acted any differently around him – well, not until recently.  There was so much about our relationship that I just – didn't face – when we were together."

"Like what?"

Sighing regretfully, she explained.  "Although we lived in the same apartment, those last few months, I now realize that Finn and I really didn't spend a whole lot of time together.  I mean, either I was working late, or he was.  And even when we were together – out somewhere or just at home relaxing, I can't help but feel like he really wasn't focused on me – or on us.  He was always doing his own thing – and I was doing mine.  I can honestly say that I did try to pay attention to him when we were together, to make him feel appreciated.  I made his favourite dinners, went out of my way to do the household stuff – which I can't stand – bought the groceries, all of that.  All because I'd felt so guilty that so much had fallen on his shoulders while I was travelling.  But he really didn't notice, or if he did, he didn't seem to care.  We were just kind of....existing together.  Until it started to really go downhill."

Ben didn't say anything, just silently watched and listened.  Glancing over at him, she went on.  "What I didn't realize until after he was gone was that I was actually lonely when I was with him.  And.....I felt happy when I was with you.  So that's probably why you say I acted differently when we were together."  She bit her lip and looked away shyly, before turning back to smile at him fondly.  "You made me smile almost every single day – and still do.  I honestly don't know what I would've done – what I would do - without you in my life Ben."

She could feel him take a shaky breath, his eyes boring into hers at her quiet admission.  But he remained silent as she continued.  "So, even though he was an utter asshole for doing what he did, I'm actually really glad its over.  It doesn't even really hurt to think about it any more."

He could barely contain his elation upon hearing that.  So maybe she really hadn't been as heartbroken by Finn as he'd thought.  It seemed as if she'd been stubbornly clinging to that relationship for the wrong reasons.  He knew that she hated failure – so that might have had something to do with it.  They'd grown impossibly close by then – and he'd known then that he was already in love with her.

Hugging her closer, he cautiously asked.  "Do you think...."  He swallowed and took a deep breath. "....do you think that you still loved him?  Or....is it possible that you were trying to hold onto something that was already gone..."

She was silent for a long while before responding.  "I think.....if you had asked me that even 2 or 3 weeks ago, I would've said yes – of course I still loved him."  She sighed.  "But, I guess.....as time's gone on, I've come to realize that what we felt for one another had been gone for awhile.  I know that now."  Propping her chin onto his chest she looked up at him in the moonlight.  "So, while I certainly cared for Finn – right till the end – its why his betrayal hurt so fucking much - no, I wasn't in love with him anymore."

As he gazed down at her, his heart pounded furiously, realizing that they always seemed to – innocently, and very comfortably – end up in each other's arms, somehow always gravitating towards touching one another.  It was how he knew, nearly without a doubt, that they already were so much more than friends.  There was almost no question in his mind that they'd end up together eventually, so why not just tell her?  He was absolutely dying to kiss her, especially with the way that she was looking at him right at that very moment.

He let out a shuddering breath.  She was pressed softly against him, and he wanted nothing more than to bury his face in her neck and never let go.  He loved her – fully and completely - he was absolutely certain of it.  They'd grown so very close – especially spending the past few days together.  Neither of them really behaved like mere friends towards each other anymore – but so much more instead.  Couldn't she see it?

Despite everything that had happened between them, up until that exact moment, deep down he'd been worried that she really just needed him as a friend right now.  After all, it had only been a few weeks since Finn had ended it.  But she said herself that she wasn't hurting from it anymore.  And she seemed to be so attuned to him, her actions almost appearing to be – open – to something more.  He was still terrified of losing their friendship though, and the thought of that happening almost froze him, making him afraid to just come out and confess his feelings for her.

He continued to stare at her intently, waging an internal battle with himself, fighting his fear to risk it all, as she stared up at him in mild confusion, trying to read the emotions on his face.

Fuck it, he thought, giving in and leaning closer while tilting his head toward her.  At that very instant her phone dinged and he practically groaned aloud.

"What the fuck?"  Rey exclaimed in aggravation, seemingly not aware of what Ben had been about to do.  "Who would text me while I'm away?  And at this time of night?"  She asked, stepping out of the circle of Ben's arms and fishing her phone out of the small sling bag on her shoulder.  "Seriously?"  She hissed, looking over at Ben.  "Its my boss, Phil."

He let out a frustrated growl.  Was it just him, or did the universe seem to be conspiring against him telling her.  Considering a bit more, he could hear his Uncle's response in his head.  Sometimes, you have to listen when the cosmos is speaking.  Its often just a whisper, but its there – you just need to open your mind to hear it.  He sighed, trying to calm himself.  So be it.  Now was apparently not the time.

He glanced down at her, drolly responding.  "I'm assuming he knows you're on vacation, right?" 

"He absolutely does!"  She shook her head.  "Listen to this....."  She began, parroting a fake apologetic voice.  "'Hey Rey, I know you're on vacation, and I'm really, really sorry to disturb you. I know you probably want to kick my ass right now,' – he's definitely right about that – 'but could you please PLEASE call me immediately? Its important.' – Inconsiderate asshole."  She let out a long hiss, glancing up at him.  "Do you think I should call him?  Or just let him stew?"

He cocked his head at her.  "Its totally up to you.  Its not like he can do anything to you for not contacting him while on your vacation.  But I think that if you don't, its going to bug you for the rest of the night."

She rolled her eyes at Ben, knowing that he was right, and hit her boss's contact number, waiting for him to pick up.  After a few seconds, she began to speak, her voice laced with annoyance.  "This had better be fucking important Phil.  I'm standing on a beach in the Bahamas and you absolutely needed to talk to me right now?"

She was quiet for a minute as she listened to him, her posture stiff with irritation.  Ben could hear the rapid fire speech on the other end of the line, but couldn't quite make out what the man was saying.

"Shit.  When?"  He heard her ask.  "Fuck.  Okay.  Okay.  That's probably our most complex system – I'm not surprised it's a bit beyond him."  She sighed deeply and placed her hand on her forehead, listening to him speak once again.  "Yeah, okay – fine.  Get her to email me the ticket and the files tomorrow."

Ben could hear the man speaking again, his tone sounding much more relieved than at the start of the call.  "Yeah – you're right - you do owe me."  She told him, a sarcastic smile on her face.  "Okay.  I'll let you know.  Yeah, yeah – you're welcome.  Remember, you're in debt.  Bye."

Hanging up, she let out a deep breath and looked up at Ben.  "Fuck."

"Everything okay?"  He asked.

"Yeah.  But I have to go to Detroit on Monday morning.  One of my systems failed last week and Temiri couldn't handle it – may have actually fucked it up even more - so I'll have to go bail him out."  Sighing again, she laughed quietly.  "Well, that's one way to ease my way back after a short vacay."

"That kind of sucks, Rey."  He told her seriously.

"Nah.  You'll be gone anyways.  At least I won't be bored and mopey for a few days."  She grinned.

"Mopey?"   He asked with a smirk.  "I love how you always see the bright side of even shitty things."  He said sarcastically.

"Not always,"  She shook her head,  "but it should keep me from sulking around and missing you for a few days."

"So you think you'll miss me?"  He teased.

Her gaze was serious.  "Of course.  Six weeks is a fuck of a long time!  And like I told you, regardless of what you promised, I'm still terrified that something will happen and you'll decide to stay in L.A."  His eyes narrowed at her, and she held up her hand before he could say anything.  "I do trust you Ben – and I believe 100% that you intend to come back.  But I also believe in fate – and that......I don't know... Fuck."  She muttered.

He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her once again.  "I will come back Rey.  Permanently.  You're too important to me – you and my family – for me to change my life so drastically and stay there."

She looked up at him, her eyes glistening in the moonlight.  "You're important to me too."  She replied truthfully.  "But sometimes things happen – things we don't expect.  Things beyond our control."

He shook his head at her once again.  "If this is still about your idea that I'll meet someone –"

She quickly placed her fingers on his lips.  "You don't know that Ben.  I know you believe that nothing will happen, and like I said – I do trust you – but...."  She shrugged.

Ben gazed at her steadfastly, knowing that there was one way that he could put her mind at ease.  TellhertellhertellherTELLHER!  His mind screamed.  He wanted to, really, desperately wanted to.  Maybe he should just kiss her, like he was going to before she got that text.  However, he wasn't sure that it was the right time any more.  A six week separation might be even more painful – more difficult – for both of them, if he confessed his feelings to her now.

Fuck.  Why was this so goddamn difficult!

"We should get back to the room."  Rey said, resignation in her voice, interrupting his silent battle.  "We still need to pack....."

"Just a couple more minutes."  He whispered deeply.  "I want to savour this for a little while longer...."

"Sure."  She replied quietly, squeezing him just a little bit tighter.

They stayed like that for several more minutes, knowing that their time together was ending.  Tomorrow they'd have to return to the real world once again.  They were both quiet as they stood, silently holding one another, enjoying the last few minutes of the evening, trying to memorize the feel of their arms around each other, knowing that in just a few days, they'd be separated for many weeks.  And neither of them quite knew how they were going to face it.

....

Once they returned to their room, they leisurely started to pack up their belongings in preparation to leave the next morning.  They were both relaxed, quietly working around each other, making sure that they didn't accidentally leave anything behind.

Rey studied Ben quietly, watching as he moved around the room.  Six weeks.  Her heart clenched at the thought of not seeing him – not hugging him – for that length of time.  And he was likely going to be alone for most of it.  The thought made her ache for him.  She hated being alone for more than a few days.  At least she had some work friends to keep company with, and maybe she'd try to catch up with Poe and Zorii while he was gone.

"Are you excited for your trip?"  She asked out of the blue, suddenly breaking the companionable silence that had formed between them.

He shrugged from his position on the floor, crouched in front of his suitcase.  "A little.  There'll be a lot to do.  Especially in the first couple of weeks.  The days will probably be really long."  He said, turning to face her with a smirk.  "I have to make the most of my time there so I can come back on time.  You see, I promised this girl...."

She rolled her eyes and smirked back at him.  "I know you'll be busy, but I can't help but feel a little sad for you.  You'll be all alone in L.A.  I know you're probably going to be hiring some staff, but they won't really know you yet.  And at night – you'll be eating alone too.  Won't you be lonely?"  She asked.

He sighed, his voice gravelly, trying to overcome the sudden tightness there.  She really did care.  "Don't worry about me Rey.  I will be really, really busy – trying to find office space, furnishing it, hiring people, and finding clients.  That usually involves schmoozing them with dinners, so I won't be alone too much.  But it doesn't matter – I'm used to it.  Kay and I actually rarely saw each other those last couple of months – maybe one night a week, and 1 day on weekends – if that, so I've been alone a lot."  He shrugged.  "Except for my family – and that's really only been the last few years - I've been alone – lonely – most of my life."  She could see him swallow, looking down at the floor, before returning his expressive gaze back to her.  "You...... "  He took a deep breath.  "On most days, you were – are - the one bright spot I usually look forward to.  And I'll really miss that – so I'll definitely look forward to talking to you – every single day – if we can manage it."

Her emotions were getting all jumbled up at his quiet admission.  He'd been lonely most of his life?  That thought completely broke her heart.  Getting up, she took the few steps that separated them, and tugged on his hands to pull him up.  Once he was standing, she gave his hands a squeeze.  Her eyes were watery as she looked up at him, unable to find the words to express what she was feeling.  "Ben..."  She whispered quietly, before wrapping her arms around him and squeezing tightly.

Rey felt something course through Ben the instant her arms went around him.  She fervently hoped that it was relief at her attempt to comfort him.  Her heart ached at his confession, not being able to imagine him feeling lonely for so long.  She just wanted to take it all away – to make him happy – and help him forget he'd ever endured any of that.  Squeezing him a little tighter, she nuzzled her face into his chest, inhaling the fragrance that was him.  Her Ben.

I love you.  The though whispered through her softly, barely present in her consciousness – but felt oh so right.

Suddenly, she stiffened, as her emotions rioted and her mind reeled.  She loved him?  She knew that her feelings for him had changed completely – that they ran deeper than before - knew that she needed him in her life; admitted that she desired him.  After all, he was just so....everything.  But was she in love?  Romantically?

Her heart started to pound in her chest, fear beginning to freeze the blood in her veins.  Had she lost her heart to him?  If so, when had that happened?  Yes, he was important to her – probably the most important person in her life.  They connected and understood each other like no one else did – him almost the ying to her yang.  Likes.  Dislikes.  Personality.  He could always make her laugh; and they had so much fun together.  Images flitted through her mind.  The two of them swimming, then splashing and playing around on the kayaks in the sea, dancing together at the festival - their laughter after he'd so gallantly dipped her - and the expression on his face as he'd gazed at her afterwards, exploring the fish and coral while snorkelling, followed by him cradling her in his lap while she slept.  It was all just so.....natural.

He clearly cared for her – took care of her when she needed it – just like she took care of him – comforted him – when he needed her.  When he was sad, she wanted to wrap him in her arms and take it all away.  She just wanted him to be happy, wanted to see him smile; the thought sent a warm, fuzzy feeling through her chest.

And he was just so physically beautiful to her.  He always had been, but now that she was no longer with Finn she could admit to herself that she thought he was the most masculine, attractive and insanely hot man she'd ever laid eyes on.  Recently, it had been hard to keep her breathing normal when she was near him.

Her eyes snapped open against his chest.  Holy fuck, she was in love him.  She was completely and insanely in love with Ben Solo.

However, she wasn't sure he thought of her in that way.  Sure, he clearly cared about her – always wanting to make sure she was okay.  But he also always spoke of their friendship.  And despite what he'd said, she knew that she really wasn't pretty enough – womanly enough – for a man like him.  She was built more like a pre-teen boy – with slim, narrow hips and barely B-sized breasts.  And he'd never really done anything to make her think that he felt anything other than close friendship for her.  There may have been a few times when she thought she'd seen something in his eyes – something that resembled hunger – when he looked at her, and there was that instance when she thought he'd been about to kiss her a few days ago - but he'd never really said nor done anything about it.  However, there was also the incident with the towel.  She was almost sure he'd been hard that day.

But then, he'd tried to tell her something - something that seemed to be important - earlier that night.  Maybe it wasn't what she'd thought it was.....

So.... maybe there was something there?  Something that wasn't there before – something that had grown, and snuck up on her.  If he felt the same, the rewards - what they could have - would be unimaginable.  But, could she risk it?  If she told him how she felt, and he didn't feel that way about her, it would likely ruin their relationship - permanently.  Probably send him into the arms of someone else even more quickly.  The mere thought tore her apart inside.  She couldn't lose him; what they had was too special.  She'd rather have him in her life as a friend – even if it killed her – than not at all.

However, the thought of having to watch him with another woman made her stomach clench, and bile rise in her throat.  The tears came unbidden, and she choked back a sob.  She had to get out of the room – out of his arms - before she made a complete idiot of herself.

Stepping back from him, she dried her eyes with the heels of her hands and gave him a tremulous smile.  Trying to deflect his attention away from her tears, she said.  "I guess that's one of the reasons why we've become such good friends.  We help make each other feel less lonely."

Ben looked at her oddly, concerned that she looked like she was about to cry, but just nodded.  "Um.  Maybe.  Yeah."  There was so much more to it than that, but she suddenly seemed very skittish – and....sad.

"I'm going to go brush my teeth."  She said lamely, quickly striding into the bathroom, closing the door.

Ben looked at the closed door, wondering what the fuck had just happened.  They'd been embracing for a couple of minutes, seemingly content to be in each other's arms – which was no longer unusual - when he'd suddenly felt her stiffen.  Shortly afterward, she pulled away from him, lamely mentioned their friendship, and literally ran into the bathroom.  Scrubbing his hand over his face, he sat back down on the bed, swallowing down his disappointment.  Well, if that wasn't a huge sign that he was right in not confessing his feelings tonight, he didn't know what was.

Taking a deep breath, he got up to finish packing, waiting for Rey to emerge from the bathroom, wanting to weigh her mood.  When she came out a few minutes later, she gave him a brief, overly bright smile and went about her own packing.

Hmmm.  He thought.  Too bright.  Something was definitely up.

Watching her face, he noticed that it now looked to be the opposite of bright.  If anything, her eyes were red, and it appeared as if she'd been crying again.  Deciding to call her on it, he prodded.  "Rey, is everything all right?"

"Hmmm?"  She asked, looking up from her packing, once again smiling brightly, before looking away.  "What was that?"

"Are you okay?"  He asked.

"Of course."  She said, not looking at him.  "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Were you crying for some reason?"  He asked softly.

He could see her hands still for just a second, before she continued on.  "No.  I'm just tired, that's all."

Getting up, he walked over to where she was kneeling on the floor, and looked down at her with his hands in his pockets.  "Are you sure?"

She glanced up at him, irritation in her eyes.  Her voice was curt when she replied.  "Ben.  I'm fine.  I need to get this done now, or I won't be able to sleep.  So please, let me finish it."

He knew she was covering up her emotions for some reason, but still had no idea what had upset her.  She was the one who had initiated their embrace – so he was totally baffled as to what had happened.  Taking a deep breath, he gave her a quick nod, and went back to his own packing.

It wasn't long before they were done, both having left out their clothing for the next morning.  Ben went into the bathroom to get ready for bed and to brush his teeth, finding Rey already curled up in bed when he returned.  Her light was off, and she was facing away from him, at the very edge of the bed, leaving as much room as she could between them.  Letting out a soft sigh, he climbed into bed and turned out his own bedside lamp, still confused as to why she was suddenly so quiet and closed off with him.  "Goodnight Rey."  He whispered quietly.

"'Night, Ben."

After a minute he quietly added.  "I just wanted to say thank you for bringing me along on this trip.  I....I had a lot of fun.  I needed this.  And it was nice spending time with you in a place like this."

"Me too, Ben.  I'm really glad that you were here with me."  Her voice sounded oddly strained, but not wanting to upset her more, he decided to let it go.

After a minute or so of silence, he swore he could hear her breath hitch.  Turning his head slightly, he tried to watch her in the dark, almost certain she was quietly crying.  He didn't know what to do.  He so desperately wanted to comfort her, but she didn't seem to want him to.  Up until a half an hour ago, she'd always been so ready to accept any comfort from him, and he had no idea what had happened to change that.

Turning over onto his back, he sighed quietly once again.  It wasn't long before he heard her audibly sniff and he gave up all pretense of ignoring her.  "Rey, please come here."

She rolled over to face him, and he watched her warily in the darkness for a few seconds before opening his arms in silent invitation.  She hesitated only briefly before shifting closer to snuggle in, sighing when his arms closed around her.  "What's wrong?"  He asked.  "Please tell me.  I don't know what I did."

"You didn't do anything.  Its me.  I'm not really sure why I'm upset.  Maybe its just because the trip is over and its back to reality tomorrow and I won't see you for so long after tonight....."  She sniffed again, wiggling a bit to get comfortable in his arms.  "You've been really great Ben.  Thanks for being here for me.  You're always here for me.  I know that.  And I'll always be here for you whenever you need me to be."

He felt her sigh deeply and finally start to relax.  If only he could hold her like this every night, he'd be the luckiest bastard on the face of the earth.  "Always, Rey."  He told her softly, desperately wanting to place a kiss into her hair, but somehow felt that might be too much tonight.

After a few minutes, he could hear her breathing even out, as he began to slowly drift off to sleep too.  For once, both of them were happily content, sleeping while wrapped in the arms of the one they secretly loved.