A/N - Hello there my Lovelies!  Well.....things are finally starting to move along for these two.   But alas....we still have some percolating to do..... Remember, all good things.... 😜.  I feel like its starting to drag out a bit - so I'll try to hit the gas pedal a little (but I don't like to rush the relationship...). Thank you so much to everyone for reading!  I love your comments - they make me update faster - so let me know your thoughts!  And please, don't forget to vote!  Enjoy!

________________*********************_________________

Ben tapped his pen on the desk in irritation as he re-read the same paragraph in the report for the third time.  Giving up, he let out an exasperated breath and lightly flung the pen across his desk.  For some reason, he couldn't concentrate today.  His thoughts weighed heavy, intruding on the focus he needed to finish editing the progress report he was working on for Blutech.

Since Kay had ended things a couple of weeks ago, he'd felt a bit more free – lighter than he had in a long time.  He hadn't realized it at the time, but her slow, subtle and constant rejection of him had really been preying on his mind. Now that he'd had some time to think about everything, he could see that the signs were always there.  While they'd known each other's habits fairly well – how could they not after technically being a couple for so long - their relationship had been superficial at best.  They'd never really connected – not on any significant level.  Because of that, they'd never really been all that close.

For that reason, Ben had been finding it relatively easy to put that part of his life behind him and move onto the future.  And a part of that future involved building his business.  He'd been toying with the idea of opening that office in L.A. for some time now, and the more he'd thought about it, the more it just seemed to make sense.  His client Dantooine Industries' head office was located there, and without having to consider Kay – and how she might feel about him travelling more, now seemed like the best time to do it.

He wondered what Rey would think about his idea for an office in L.A., now that Kay wasn't in the picture.  He'd mentioned it to her briefly once, but they hadn't really spoken about it since then.  His mouth twisted into an involuntary grin as he thought of her.  She was away in Houston this week, and would then move onto New Orleans next week, training her new assistant.  They'd still been in constant contact, texting each other every night.  She'd even called him twice last week – just to talk.  He suspected that she was doing it so he wouldn't be lonely and brood over Kay, but in truth Kay had been relatively absent from his life for months, so there was nothing new about the situation for him to obsess over.

Before she'd left, they'd gone to dinner and hung out at a local pub, drinking beer and eating gooey chicken wings.  She'd been in a fantastic mood, happier than he'd seen her in a long time – almost exuberant.  It was as if she was shining – glowing from within – and she literally took his breath away as he'd sat across from her.  When she was like that, it was especially hard for him to hide his feelings for her, but he made sure to keep things light, treating her exactly as he always did.  He wanted her never to know – unless one day he thought that she might feel the same. Then he'd tell her.  No – he'd show her.

However, much of her good mood that night had seemed to stem from the fact that Finn was in a good mood too.  He was okay with her two-week trip, and didn't appear to be simmering below the surface in anger, like she'd expected.  Finn had also had to work late that night, and she said he didn't even seem phased when she mentioned that she was going to hang out with him.  She'd been quite literally bubbling with happiness, telling him that Finn's change in attitude had led her to believe that they'd finally turned a corner and that things were now getting better between them.

He sighed, running his hand through his hair, still deep in thought.  If he opened an office in L.A., he'd probably need to be away for at least a month - maybe even longer initially, to get it off the ground.  That would mean being away from Rey for all that time.  The thought caused a painful constriction in the vicinity of his heart.  However, based on how happy – how hopeful – she'd been about her relationship with Finn, he couldn't help but be happy that she was happy.  It was like a knife in his heart though; he'd felt so overwhelmingly sad, for himself, to see her so excited about how things with Finn had improved.

He also couldn't help but think that his presence, in some small way, might be hindering their progress.  So, despite his own melancholy heart, he decided that it probably wouldn't be a bad thing for him to be away for a month or so.  That way, things between Rey and Finn would happen as they would – for good or bad, without him standing by and witnessing it all.  It might actually help him cope with it too, if they began to fall back in love with each other once again.  He wasn't sure how well he'd handle seeing that.

Cardo had also reported in earlier in the week.  He'd let Ben know that they'd found some encouraging leads, and were still following up.  The former colleague was able to provide a few interesting tidbits on what they'd found, promising to get back to him with more as soon as his people had anything of relevance to report.

He sat back and sighed, chewing on his bottom lip in indecision, weighing the pros and cons of an L.A. office.  Fuck it.  It couldn't hurt to look into his options – see what was out there.  Decision made, he scrubbed a hand over his face.  Picking up the phone, he asked his PA to come into his office, laying out his plan for her to start doing some preliminary searches and making the arrangements for his trip.

****

"Always, always check the bearings on every rotator arm when you're on site for service or maintenance."  Rey emphasized to her new assistant, Temiri.  "They're the first things to go, and Murphy's Law says that if you don't check them, they'll fail the week after you do the site visit."  She told him sternly.  "Trust me – I've made that particular mistake before."

The young man simply nodded, silently gazing at his new boss with a bit of hero worship.  They continued walking through the plant, with Rey pointing out important things for him to jot down in his notes for future reference.  These were her systems – designed and installed by her from start to finish, so she knew them better than anyone else and was extremely protective of them.

They were in New Orleans, having moved on after being in Houston last week.  Rey was happy with how the training was going – impressed by how much Temiri seemed to be absorbing as she detailed some of the more failure prone areas of the systems.  She actually found that she was enjoying training him more than she thought she would.  It was nice to finally work with someone so closely on site – someone who spoke the same technical language, and could point out potential issues before they happened.  Sometimes, when speaking about the details of the systems, components or controllers, they even finished each other's sentences, which Rey found hilarious.  It also reaffirmed her confidence in the decision to hire Temiri over the other candidates she'd interviewed.

Once they finished for the day and grabbed a quick dinner, Rey relaxed in her hotel room, happy for some alone time.  When she used to do these visits on her own, she'd often find herself getting a bit lonely at night.  With Temiri tailing her all day now, she was thankful for a few hours of peace to be able to unwind and collect her thoughts.

Fresh from her shower, she reclined on the bed, just savouring the quiet and reflecting on life in general, with all of its recent twists and turns.  She was happy though.  Really, really happy.  Things seemed to be going very well with Finn lately; she hadn't realized until recently just how much the strife with him had been weighing on her.  He seemed to have mellowed out a bit in the past few weeks, smiling and in a good mood almost all the time now – more like the Finn of old that she knew and loved.  Also, he hadn't been pissed that she had had to go away for a longer trip, and still didn't seem annoyed about it when she'd called him last night.  And since the training was going so well it looked like her extensive travel really would be a thing of the past - so things with Finn would likely only continue to get even better.

Sighing in contentment, her thoughts drifted to Ben.  Recalling their night out before she left, she smiled softly.  They'd had a casual, fun evening – just the two of them – eating pub fare, drinking beer and just talking.  About anything and everything.  Other than the gala, it was the most fun she'd had in awhile, and she couldn't help feel that it had been the same for him.  He'd seemed so relaxed – so open – and he'd laughed and smiled more than she'd ever seen him do so.  Thinking about it, she guessed that it was probably because the stress of his relationship with Kay – and all of their issues – was finally gone.

A flicker of outrage still flashed through her every time she thought of Kay.  For someone so sweet and nice – words that were commonly associated with Kay's personality - she couldn't believe that the woman had used Ben like that.  Taking a deep breath, Rey tried to tamp down her anger, recognizing that there was likely more to Kay's motivations.  She really was a good person, so Rey couldn't see her doing something so....so....selfish, without a good reason.  She just hoped that Kay now understood that her actions had hurt Ben – had put him through mental and physical torment about his prowess – or perceived lack thereof – between the sheets.  However, Ben may not have mentioned that particular struggle to her - so it was possible she'd never realize the toll their relationship had taken on him.

While Rey was still angry at Kay and felt bad for what Ben had gone through, she couldn't help being relieved that it was finally over.  Now he could hopefully move on and find someone else.  Someone who would be a proper girlfriend and satisfy him not only in life, but also in the bedroom – and every other room of his apartment!  She grinned to herself, wondering if Ben would be shy about fucking his girlfriend on a kitchen counter.  Her mind imagined him naked at his kitchen island, with a nude woman in front of him, her legs wrapped around his hips as he frantically thrust into her, his face flushed and cheeks ruddy with passion.....

Rey felt a sharp flash of heat shoot through her, centering between her legs, causing her to blush furiously.  Again?  What the fuck?  She really needed to get these feelings to stop.  Every once in awhile something would distract her, and unbidden, her thoughts of Ben would suddenly turn carnal.  She knew that was likely because it had simply been a long while not only since she'd had sex with Finn, but good sex – the last time being that awkward incident more than a month ago.  And it had been a long while before that too – so she couldn't deny feeling a bit deprived.  And if she was feeling like this after only a couple of months, she couldn't imagine how Ben felt.  He must have so much pent up sexual energy, that with the slightest touch he'd.....stop!  She let out a long exhale and shook her head, trying to clear it.

A lump began to form in her throat, and she swallowed it away.  Such continued thoughts of her closest friend were simply not good – not good at all.  Eventually, he would find a new girlfriend; she had no illusions about that.  He was simply too hot – too beautiful – for that not to happen in a relatively short amount of time.  Sooner or later, someone would catch his eye, and he'd start dating again.  The thought made her nervous, and honestly, a bit nauseous.

What if he met a woman who doesn't like her?  What if they don't get along?  Would she and Ben drift apart?  Would it cause problems in his new relationship?  The idea of any of that happening made her heart clench.  She needed Ben in her life.  It wasn't like she depended on him or anything like that, but it was impossible to imagine not texting him, not talking to him, not seeing him.  Even while away on this trip, they'd either texted each other or spoken on the phone every night.  

Her chest tightened and her eyes involuntarily filled with tears.  She couldn't bear it if that happened.....but she wanted him to be happy.  And if that was without her in his life - if that's what was truly best for him, it was something she'd eventually have to accept.

Since everything seemed to be getting back on track with Finn, maybe it was time for them to try to rekindle things in the bedroom once again.  That should help assuage these feelings of desire that randomly appeared, more and more often of late – which were inappropriately focused on Ben.  At least, she certainly hoped so.

Maybe she'd try to seduce him when she got home – see where things went – see if it helped to stop the growing ache she'd buried deep down – one she'd barely admitted existed until now.  If it didn't, she wasn't sure what she was going to do.....

****

Two days later, Rey dragged her suitcase up the last flight of stairs and unlocked the door to their apartment.  It was mid-afternoon on Thursday, and she couldn't be more grateful to be home.  Pausing to catch her breath for a minute after lugging the heavy case up the 3 flights of stairs, she looked around with a smile, taking a contented breath.  Home sweet home.  Kicking off her shoes, she wheeled her luggage into the bedroom to begin unpacking, humming happily as she went.

They'd managed to finish up the site work a day early, and were able to switch their flights to today instead of tomorrow.  Hoping to surprise Finn, she hadn't mentioned it to him when they'd spoken last night – didn't even text him when her plane landed like she usually did - crossing her fingers that he wouldn't have to work late.  Instead, she'd make him a nice dinner, surprising him when he came home, and they could spend the evening together – just the two of them.

Smirking and shaking her head, she noted that the bedroom was an absolute mess.  She'd always suspected that he lived messy while she was gone and spent the night before she came home frantically cleaning.

Unpacking her suitcase, she tossed all the dirty clothing into a laundry basket, before picking up the various pieces of discarded clothing and towels that were strewn around the bedroom floor, throwing them into the basket to wash too.  Just as she was turning to head to the laundry closet, she spied a scrap of black fabric peeking out from under the bed, and nonchalantly tossed it into the laundry bin to wash too.

After setting the first load to wash, she headed into the kitchen to figure out what to make for dinner.  Finding the fridge relatively empty, she cursed.  Letting out a short sigh, she grabbed her keys and headed to the market around the corner for some groceries.

It wasn't until later that afternoon that her world came crashing down around her.  She'd returned from the market and threw the laundry in the dryer before setting out the ingredients and began prepping the chicken parm she'd intended to make for dinner.  Hearing the dryer chime, she decided to get started on folding the laundry – to get it out of the way.

She was halfway through the basket when she'd held up the panties in confusion.  Her brow furrowed as she continued staring at them.  These aren't mine.  She thought, perplexed.  Checking the size, she could see that they were a medium, but she wore an extra small.  What the fuck?  After a few more seconds her heart began to pound frantically as she realized that they really were not her panties – even though they were the ones she'd picked up off the floor!

She gasped, frozen in shock, her lungs temporarily unable to work before finally letting her breath out on a low whine.  Looking at the panties once more, she immediately dropped them onto the bed in stunned horror as if they'd burned her hand.  Another woman's panties were on the floor of her bedroom.  Her brain struggled to find a logical explanation for how they could've gotten there, her mind darting to a number of different reasons and scenarios.  Finding none, she started to hyperventilate.  She wasn't a complete idiot.  When something like this happened, it usually meant only one thing.

Infidelity.... The word snaked through her consciousness, then pierced her heart before stabbing her viciously in the stomach, making her sick.  Darting to the bathroom, she promptly threw up - twice.

Once she was done, she walked emotionlessly over to the sink to rinse out her mouth and wash her face.  Inhaling deeply, she stared at her reflection in the mirror, trying to make her brain work.  That's why Finn had been so happy.  Why he didn't care that she was away.

Her throat constricted painfully.  She was a fool.  He'd made a fool out of her.

Anger spiked at the thought of him bringing another woman into their home, replacing the ache in her chest with a simmering fire.  Grabbing the panties off the bed, she wandered into the living room to wait for him to come home.

She was still sitting on the sofa over an hour later when she heard the door open.  Still in shock, she hadn't moved since she'd sat down - hadn't even gotten up to turn on a light - and so was sitting in the dark.  Finn literally jumped out of his skin when he flicked the switch and finally saw her, sitting there in silence.  "Jesus Rey, you scared the living shit out of me!  What are you doing here?  And why are you sitting in the dark?"

He walked over and gazed at her, his eyes narrowing when he looked at her more closely.  "You're home a day early.  Is everything all right?  Are you okay?"  He asked with sudden concern.

Rey stared up at him and threw the panties at his head; they bounced off his cheek and landed on the floor.  Unsure what was going on, he reached down and picked them up, looking at them in confusion before turning his gaze back to her.

"Those aren't mine Finn.  Care to ask where I got them?"  She asked, her voice surprisingly calm.

She watched him carefully.  Watched as his brows furrowed, before his eyes widened hugely and his panicked gaze shot to hers.  "Ah.  So, I see we don't have to do this dance."

"Rey....."  He began.

"NO!"  She shouted.  "You don't get to 'Rey' me.  You lying, unfaithful, complete piece of shit!  I've been trying – so hard – to fix things in our relationship, and meanwhile you've been fucking someone else?!"  She screamed.  "No wonder you haven't wanted to touch me – because you obviously didn't need to!  I guess that would seem just too unfaithful, right?  To be fucking two women?  And that was why it was so fucking weird the last time we did have sex!"

"Please, Rey.  Just hear me out.  You don't understand."  He pleaded.

"Oh, really?  Are you going to tell me that you didn't fuck another woman in our bed recently?  Go ahead – I dare you!"

"Its not like that."  He interjected.

She stood and slapped him across the face.  Hard.  "Do not try to make me out to be an idiot."  She growled.

He was rubbing the sting on his cheek, certain he'd have a handprint there for days, when he replied.  "I love her."

It was Rey's turn for her eyes to widen, as the breath whooshed out of her chest – nausea once again turning her stomach.  She sat back down on the sofa – hard - unable to think coherently any longer.  Her brain had completely short circuited.  "You.....you love her?"  She whispered brokenly.  The tears that were forming in her eyes starting to course down her cheeks.

Taking a deep breath, he straightened to his full height.  "I do."  Swallowing thickly, he continued.  "We didn't mean for it to happen.  It just did.  We tried to fight it, but in the end.... we just couldn't."  He gazed back at her sorrowfully.  "It was like love at first sight Rey."

Rey sat miserably and tried to process everything Finn was saying.  He just didn't have a fling – fuck someone else – but he'd actually fallen in love with her.  Her gut roiled, and she was thankful that she'd puked earlier or else she'd be puking right now.  She shook her head.  Love at first sight?  When could that have happened?  How?

Her brain was slowly starting to work once again, and one by one the pieces of the puzzle fell into place.  She gasped as realization dawned, and her head shot upward to burn him with her hurt and angry gaze.  "Rose.  You fell in love with Rose."

Finn wisely stayed silent, but gave her a brief nod of confirmation.

"Of course you did.  Now it all makes sense.  All the little things she's said.  All the little things you've said...."  Shesighed dejectedly.  Then, she stared laughing –involuntarily and uncontrollably – slowly at first, building in intensity as theseconds ticked by.  Deep, belly laughsthat she couldn't stop. 

Finn's eyes became concerned as he continued to gaze at her, worried that something inside her had suddenly snapped.  "Um.  What's so funny?"  He asked hesitantly.

She ran the backs of her hands across her eyes to dry her tears.  "To think of all the times that you basically accused me of having something going on with Ben!"  She laughed even harder.  "And there was nothing – nothing that was ever going on, or had ever happened between us!"  She continued to cackle, almost maniacally.   "And......."  She gasped out  "...and you...."  She tried to breathe in again..."you actually had sex with Rose!"

His gaze narrowed once again as he looked down at her.  "Look, Rey...."

Wiping her eyes once more, she held up her hand and cut him off.  "I don't want to hear it.  I really don't."  Getting up, she walked to the kitchen to gulp down a glass of water.  Donning her coat and grabbing her wallet and phone, she walked to the door.  "I'm going out.  Please don't be here when I get back tonight.  Or tomorrow.  I want you gone – and I don't want to see you ever again.  You can text me when you're going to be here to get your stuff – and I'll stay away."

And with that, she turned and walked out of his life, closing the door behind her.

****

The knock at his door startled him.  No one had buzzed, so he had no idea who it could be.  It was probably some salesperson who had managed to sneak in behind a resident before the door closed.  The knock sounded again, and he sighed heavily, looking at the clock.  It was 6:30 in the evening.  He'd literally just sat down after changing out of his suit, wanting to relax with a whiskey for a few minutes while he decided whether to cook dinner or order something in.

Getting up, he walked over to the door, an annoyed expression on his face as he opened it.  However, he was immediately taken aback by the sight in front of him.  Rey stood in the doorway – obviously a wreck; her face streaked with tears, her cheeks red and cold.

Alarm bells rang in his head and his mouth fell open.  "Rey?  What are you doing here?  What's wrong?"  He asked quickly, standing aside to let her in.

She literally fell into his arms, crumpling against him when she felt the strength of his hands holding her up.  He dragged her into the apartment and picked her up, kicking the door closed before carrying her to the couch, his heart beating frantically with worry.  "What happened?  Are you okay?"

She seemed to be babbling incoherently, but he could make out an occasional word here and there.  He was pretty sure he heard Finn's name a few times, and maybe the word 'Rose' as well, but he wasn't certain about that one.  He could feel that she was freezing cold in his arms though, so his first priority was to get her warm.  "Rey, you're positively freezing!  Why are you so cold?  Did you walk here – again?"  He felt her nod, and proceeded to kneel down in front of her to peel her coat off, rubbing her arms and her back to try to warm her.  When he moved to get up and grab a blanket, she held onto him with a death grip and shook her head frantically, still sobbing.  "I'll be right back, Rey – I promise - I'm just going to get you a blanket."

He watched as she curled into herself on the couch as he strode away to the closet.  He was back less than a minute later, wrapping the blanket around her like a cocoon, then tugging her boots off before sitting down beside her and pulling her into his arms once again.  "Ssshhhh.  Just breathe Rey.  Calm down – you're scaring me Swee-".  He cut himself off in the knick of time, the endearment almost slipping through his lips without thought.

He kept his arms around her, rubbing her all over her back and arms, hoping she'd warm up.  Scooping his hands underneath her, he lifted her onto his lap to try to give her more of his heat.  It was then that he noticed his glass of whiskey – forgotten on the coffee table.  Leaning forward, he grabbed it with one hand and held it out to her.  "Here, drink this.  It's whiskey – you clearly need it."

Her hands snaked out from the blanket to hold the glass, and she began taking small sips of the amber liquid, initially coughing at its potency.  After a few minutes, he could hear her sobs lessen and her breathing slow down, with only the occasional small hiccup escaping.  She was starting to feel much warmer, but he had no intention of releasing her from his arms.  "Can you tell me what happened now?"  He asked softly.

She nodded against his chest, and he could feel a shudder course through her.  "I think so...."  She mumbled quietly, taking a deep breath, her face still buried in his neck.  "We finished the work in New Orleans a day early."

"Yeah, I didn't think you'd be back till tomorrow..."  He said gently, his tone coaxing.

"I was able to catch a flight today, and thought I'd surprise Finn."  She croaked.  "I'd even gone to the market when I got home – thinking I'd make him a nice dinner, and then seduce him."  Her voice cracked.  "It had been a long time since we'd had sex, and..."  He could feel her shudder again.  "....the last time – over a month ago – was not a good experience."  She added.

Ben's arms tightened around her, his stomach clenching when she mentioned her plan to seduce Finn.  He took a deep breath, willing the nausea and jealousy away, and remained silent, waiting for her to continue.  When she did, her voice was a low monotone, devoid of any emotion.

"When I got home, the bedroom was a mess.  That didn't bother me – I'd always suspected that Finn waited till the night before I got home to clean everything up.  But while I was unpacking and collecting things to go into the laundry, I picked up a pair of panties from the floor."  She could feel him stiffen around her, likely anticipating what she was about to say.  "At first, I didn't even realize they weren't mine – not until I started folding the clean laundry – but once I did, it was like my brain shut off."

She turned her head upwards, finally looking at him as she spoke.  "Before I got back, I thought that things were going so well.  I was actually happy, Ben.  So happy – happier than I'd been in a long time."  She shook her head in bewilderment.  "But I was fooling myself – deluding myself – that because Finn wasn't angry about my work trips, or about me hanging out with you, that things were actually getting better.  Instead, it was simply because he was ambivalent – didn't care that I was going away – he probably fucking wanted me to!"  The emotion was back in her voice again, the volume getting louder until she finally yelled out.  "He actually fucked her in my bed, Ben!  In my fucking bed!"  Her voice cracked and she began to sob once again.  "I'm such a fool."  She whispered brokenly.

He pulled her head back to his chest and stroked her hair.  "I'm sorry Rey.  I'm so fucking sorry he did that to you."

"It was Rose."  She muttered pitifully.  "He fucked Rose, Ben."

She could feel him stiffen yet again, feeling his shock permeate through his embrace.  "He's a fucking fool.  A total asshole.  And an unfeeling prick."  He leaned back and nudged her away from his body so he could look into her eyes.  "I'm not condoning anything – but he should have fucking told you how he was feeling – rather than letting you believe that everything was all right, even though he was....."  Ben turned his face away from her, his fists clenching on her back in anger.  "He's a fucking coward Rey."

She nodded.  "I agree."  She was quiet for a little while, before continuing.  "He said it was love at first sight, Ben."  She shuddered.  "Does he have any idea how that makes me feel?"  She bit back a small sob.  "If he fell in love with Rose the moment he saw her, that would mean that he didn't love me!"  She started crying in earnest once again.  "Did he ever love me?"  She looked up at Ben with wide, sad eyes that broke his heart.

"Of course he did Rey.  You're beautiful, smart, funny – any normal man would jump at the chance to be yours."  He said reassuringly, taking a deep breath.  "But, maybe, at some point, he fell out of love with you?"  She started sobbing harder in his arms, and he felt like the biggest ass.  "Fuck.  I'm sorry Rey, that was a stupid thing to say.....I didn't mean...I didn't say it to hurt you."  Smooth, Ben.  He thought.

"I know."  She choked out.  "It just.....it hurts to hear it."  She scoffed.  "And you know what the most ironic thing of all is?"  She looked up at him, an angry, sardonic grin on her face, and he just shook his head warily.  "After all of the times that he accused me of – well, more like he inferred – that there was something going on between you and I, that he was the one who was actually unfaithful."  She laughed.  "That fucking douchebag."

Ben didn't know what to say to that.  He hadn't known that Finn had been so distrustful of his friendship with her.  She was gazing up at him, hurt still etched in her features, as he continued to softly rub circles over her back.  Suddenly her expression seemed to change in dawning realization, and an almost devious determination appeared in her eyes.

"What?"  Ben questioned cautiously.

"If he wants to think that I was cheating, then fine.  Fuck it – let's give truth to the lie."  She wrapped her arms around his neck and smashed her lips to his.

He sat there frozen in shock, his brain stuttering to a halt, unable to believe that she was pressed against him – clinging to him tightly – kissing him.  His body started to react, before his brain finally caught up with everything that was so suddenly happening.

It was an angry kiss.  He could feel it in her posture, in the wild desperation of her lips as she tried to devour him.  It would have been so easy for him to simply succumb to her – to let himself sink into what she was offering – to take away her hurt and indulge all the passion and want and love he felt for her.  But he knew that if they did this, it would forever taint their relationship.  Knew that she'd probably regret it afterward.  And he wanted her to remember the first time they'd make love as an experience full of wonder and passion, not lingering hurt and remorse.  So instead, he pushed her away rather forcefully.

"No, Rey!  We are not doing this."  He exclaimed sternly.

"And why the fuck not?"  She asked indignantly, her voice pitched higher than usual.  "You haven't had sex in ages!  Don't tell me that it wouldn't help you too – that you wouldn't enjoy it!  It would be like 'friends with benefits'."

A flicker of anger showed in his face, shocked that she would try to use that against him.  However, he quickly tamped it down.  That wasn't her talking – he knew it wasn't.  She wasn't herself.  He sighed deeply, trying to choose his words carefully, wanting to make sure they didn't come back to haunt him tomorrow or any other day.  "We are not going to become friends with benefits.  You.  Are.  Hurting."  He said emphatically, looking deeply into her eyes.  "You're not thinking clearly right now.  And you want to do something that will hurt Finn in return.  But its beyond that.  Jumping into bed with me – while I'm pretty sure it would make you feel better tonight – will make you feel like shit tomorrow, and no matter how much I want to take away your pain and hurt right now, I will not risk our friendship to do it."

He placed a finger over her lips when she tried to reply.  "And it wouldn't hurt Finn at all at this point.  It would probably even make him feel less guilty – if the bastard even feels guilty at all."

She crumpled again, beginning to sob against his chest once more, howling out her pain, sadness and anger.  He pulled her closer again, squeezing her tighter and placing a kiss on the top of her hair.  "I'm sorry, Rey.  I'd do anything to make you feel better – except that."  Huffing out a breath, he stroked a hand over her hair, saying mockingly.  "Trust me, you'll thank me in the morning."

She pulled away from him, wiping her eyes on the back of her hand, and gave him a caustic glare.  "You're such a Stupidhead."

"There she is."  He replied encouragingly, relieved to see some of her fire return.  He reached out and gently wiped a few remaining tears away with his thumb.  Taking a deep breath, he asked cautiously.  "Are you hungry?"

"Not really."  She shook her head, but replied sheepishly.  "But I know if I don't eat I'll wake up in the middle of the night needing a snack."

"Bacon cheeseburgers and fries it is then."  Ben smirked.  "Hopefully this will be the end of the turmoil in your life though – for awhile at least."  He chuckled.  "Otherwise we're going to have to get your cholesterol checked – mine too - if we keep eating burgers and fries all the time."

She rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue as Ben got up to order their food.

****

Later that night, Ben stood in the shower trying to come to terms with everything that had happened and everything that Rey had told him since showing up on his doorstep.  She was currently sleeping soundly in his bedroom, exhausted after her crying jab.  There was no way he'd have let her go home and be alone tonight.  After they'd eaten, she'd promptly fallen asleep on the couch, and he'd simply carried her into his bedroom, pulled back the covers and tucked her in, fully dressed.

Inhaling deeply, he tried to calm his raging temper.  He was so angry with Finn, he had to stop himself from punching the shower wall.  Finn was an utter ass for hurting Rey like he did.  How – how could anyone be so stupid as to "fall in love with someone else" when they had Rey?  And then not man-up and break things off before sleeping with 'the other woman'.  He shook his head and let out a low growl, reminding himself that regardless of how much he wanted to at this exact minute, he couldn't just go find Finn and pound the ever-living shit out of him.

Although, he had to admit, he wasn't sad at all that Rey was no longer with Finn.  He just couldn't believe that Finn could have been so cold as to have been unfaithful to her.  Lying, cowardly, spineless, dick.  All he had to do was end it.  Like a man.  Instead, he'd fucked around on her.  At least now Ben could hope that she might actually begin to see him as something more than a friend – sooner rather than later.  He hoped.

She was so beautiful, she mesmerized him.  It didn't matter what she was wearing – she was a goddess to him.  Remembering the dress she'd worn on New Year's Eve, he smiled.  She'd been the most beautiful woman in the room that night – as well as later when they'd all gone back to her place to continue the party and she'd put on a pair of cozy PJs, uncaring of her appearance.  Most of the time when they hung out she chose comfort over vanity, and he'd teased her incessantly about it - calling her look "schleppy chic".   "I don't give a fuck."  She'd told him.  "I'm watching a movie and eating popcorn at my house, with my best friend – why do I need to look nice?"

He chuckled to himself.  Her face glowed when she smiled, and the green flecks in her eyes sparkled when she was happy – or angry and determined.  They were definitely sparkling earlier tonight, before she'd launched herself at him and locked her lips to his.

He'd wanted to kiss her back so badly.  The feel of her pressed against him had been intoxicating, and he'd only had one thought at the time – more!  He huffed out a breath as he felt himself begin to harden.  Looking down, he frowned at his traitorous appendage, before giving in to the desire that was coursing through his veins at the memory of her kiss.  Closing his eyes, he remembered her ravenous lips against his mouth, and her hands clutching at his neck.  Right now, he imagined he could feel her breasts pressed against his chest, and he moaned quietly.

Reaching down, he began to stroke himself, letting his imagination run wild, picturing her on her knees, smiling up at him coquettishly, taking him into her gorgeous mouth.  He shuddered, thinking about how her face would look, eyes connected to his, as she bobbed on him and her hands stroked over his thighs, then upward to cup his balls and squeeze his ass.  His breathing became labored as he quickened his pace, groaning softly as he tightened his hand and moved faster and faster, imagining how her tongue would feel stroking over him, circling around the head.  He ran his own thumb over himself in circles and gasped.

He began to pant as he got closer and closer, fantasizing about her moaning onto him, imagining how the vibration would feel as she took him all the way in – so far he was hitting the back of her throat – and he was gone, falling over the edge as he gasped and groaned out his pleasure, painting the shower wall with streaks of his climax.  He continued to pump himself slowly until he stopped shaking, leaning his forehead against the tiles while he caught his breath.

He felt like a horny, 15-year old teenager.  She'd only kissed him for Christ's sake – and although it was a very passionate kiss, he should be able to control himself a little better than that!  But he hadn't allowed himself to indulge in his fantasies since he'd realized that he loved her, so he shouldn't really be too surprised that it had eventually caught up with him.

Glancing over at the door, he realized that Rey was sleeping in the room right outside and blushed deep red.  He hadn't intended to do this tonight – it had just happened.  He hoped he was quiet enough, or that the water muffled any of the sounds that he'd made, in case she could hear him.  She'd been completely exhausted though, and therefore unlikely to have woken up to even a freight train driving through the bedroom.

She'd been so upset – so hurt by what Finn had done to her.  It would probably take some time for her to get over it – he knew that.  However, he hoped that, like himself, she'd realize that her relationship with Finn wasn't all that she'd thought it was, and that she could put it behind her relatively quickly.  He'd try to keep an eye on her throughout the night though, in case she woke up and started crying again.  She needed a good night's sleep, and would hopefully wake up in better spirits and start putting it all behind her.

Tomorrow was another day though, and at some point she'd probably start ruminating over it - that was just who Rey was - which would make her sad or angry once again.  It was probably best that she not go home just yet – where memories would assail her, and likely make it even worse.  

He wasn't sure if she intended to go into work in the morning.  If not, he'd let her know that it was okay for her to stay in his apartment – to make herself comfortable while he was at the office.  Hell, she was welcome to stay as long as she needed.  If she wanted, he'd go back to the apartment with her to grab some clothes.  He just didn't want her to be alone and sad while she went through this.  He'd talk to her about it tomorrow morning, and see what she wanted to do.

Smiling sadly, he reached over and grabbed his shampoo to finish up with his shower, fervently hoping she'd stay with him for awhile, already planning what he'd do if she did.