A/N - Hi everyone!  Things are starting to unravel for our two lovable idiots.  Slowly but surely.....   Sorry if this is a bit angsty for those who don't like that kind of story.  Thanks again for all of your support and comments!  Please keep it up!  Your comments motivate me to write write write which means faster updates!  Love you all!  Enjoy!  And please don't forget to vote!

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Finn was waiting for her when she got home, literally pouncing on her almost the very minute she walked through the door.  "Where have you been?  Its almost 6 o'clock?"

"Sorry."  She said, still kicking her boots off.  "We got delayed at Obi & Anna's for a bit.  They wanted us to stay for coffee.... and well, you know them...."

"We?"  Finn asked in surprise.

Detecting an odd note in his voice, Rey turned to face him, her brows furrowed.  "Yes.  Ben drove me.  I told you that."

"Actually, no you didn't."  He shot back.

She looked at him quizzically.  "I'm sure I did."

"No, you did not."

"Oh.  Sorry.  I was going to borrow his car and take it there myself, but he had to go see his parents today and offered to drive me if I agreed to go there first."  She was hanging her coat in the closet, and didn't see the concerned look on his face until she'd turned back to him.  "What?"

"You went to his parent's house?"  He asked, his eyebrows raised.

Frowning, she studied him, trying to figure out why he seemed a bit pissed.  "Yes.  I don't understand.  Why is that a big deal?"

Finn let out a long breath.  "I don't know Rey...."

Trying to change the subject, she prodded.  "Did you have any luck finding the gifts you needed?"

"Yes, I got them all."  He looked away for a minute.  "I, uh, ran into Rose too.  We had lunch."

"Oh!  That's nice.  How's she doing?"  She asked brightly, still hopeful that he'd find a friend in Rose like she'd found in Ben.

"She's good.  Still getting used to being back in Boston, and is mostly settled in at work now."  He still wasn't looking at her, which Rey thought was odd, but shrugged it off as lingering annoyance from the rest of their conversation.

Considering for a minute, she tilted her head.  "Should we invite her to dinner with Kay and Ben?   Its on Wednesday this week.  Remember, we bumped it because Friday is Christmas Eve, and figured we'd all be too busy Thursday night?"

"I remember.  Sure – let's invite her.  It'll be nice, since its before Christmas.  I'll text her."  Finn replied, grabbing his phone.

"Don't forget to tell her about the gift swap!"

"I won't.  Any thoughts on tonight's dinner?"  He asked.

"Nah.  I'm tired.  Should we just order in?"  She suggested.

"Sure.  I'm in the mood for junk – I had a nice lunch.  Burgers okay?"

Rey grinned.  "That sounds perfect.  Cheese and bacon on mine please.  And lots of mayo."

Finn laughed, as he continued studying his phone.  "I'd never forget that Hon."

****

After dinner, Rey was relaxing in the tub, bubbles floating all around her, scenting both the water and the air.  She'd lit a candle and turned the lights off, creating a dim haven.  A glass of wine was perched beside her.  Lifting it to take a sip, she sighed in utter bliss.

Had this been a month ago, she would've been hopeful that Finn would join her.  Now however, with all that had happened in the last few weeks – his subtle, continued rejection, followed by his blatant lie about his whereabouts on the night she was out with the boys, she didn't feel ready to return to that sort of intimacy with him.

She could feel him slipping away.  It was getting more obvious each day.  The problem was, she wasn't sure she really cared as much anymore.  She'd tried – she really had – to find ways to bring them closer once again, but it seemed as if no matter what she did, he remained aloof and somewhat distant.

Sighing, she pushed the thought away, not wanting to think about it when she was so relaxed and enjoying her quiet interlude.  She'd examine it another time soon.

Her thoughts slipped to Ben and their day, bringing an instant smile to her face.  She recalled the things that he'd told her - trusted her with.  Remembering the raw fear and angst on his face as he'd told her the tragic tale, her heart clenched for the young man who'd been seduced and led astray – twisted by a monster.  She shuddered to think about the person he probably was then – the person he'd been molded into.  Ben had not sugar coated any of it.  His mind and thought processes had been warped – distorted into something that the man – the person he'd thought was his mentor, could control.  He'd been turned into something unfeeling and evil. Thank God he'd been able to break free.

She still couldn't believe that he hadn't trusted Kay with his story, but on some level, she understood why.  Kay didn't do controversy or difficult well.  Yes, she was sweet, but she was also extremely nervous and skittish – similar in many ways to a newborn colt.  And apparently she had very old fashioned parents.  Obi and Anna were old fashioned in their own way too, but they also recognized that times had changed dramatically since they'd been young – and that sometimes they just had to go with the flow. 

Kay was literally the diametric opposite of Ben.  To Rey, they didn't even appear to be very close, and really didn't seem to have many common interests.  Now that she knew him so well, it almost seemed kind of odd that he was with her.  What had attracted him to her?  She was definitely pretty, in a sweetly wholesome way.  He'd mentioned her sweetness – her overall goodness, repeatedly.  Was that it?  Was he somehow trying to make up for the evil he'd almost become by being with someone who was so overwhelmingly sweet and good?  Maybe trying to absorb some of her goodness?  Knowing Ben, that made some sense, in a weird way.

Ben.  He was.....she didn't think she had the words to describe how she saw him.  Her breath hitched, remembering how he'd looked earlier in the day as he'd sat in the driver's seat, in a dark leather jacket, with the sun streaming in beside him.  Then, how tortured and broken he'd seemed as he'd told her what Snoke had done to him.

She recalled what had happened when they'd arrived at Obi and Anna's – his demeanour so hesitant, still clearly worried about everything he'd revealed.  As soon as they had gotten out of the car, she'd walked around to him, wanting to make sure that he was okay.  "Are you all right?"

He'd looked down at her, his eyes uncertain.  She recalled the tortured look on his face, how he'd taken a deep breath and swallowed deeply, before silently nodding.

She'd narrowed her eyes at him – not believing for one second that he was okay.  "Doesn't look like it to me."  She'd told him dryly.  Stepping closer to him, she'd wrapped her arms around his waist in a tight hug, feeling a small shudder course through him.  "You are such an amazing person Ben.  I will always be here for you.  For whatever you need."

His eyes had been wide and filled with emotion as she'd stepped back and looked up at his expression.  His mouth had opened and closed a few times before he closed his eyes and took a deep, cleansing breath.   When he opened them again, his lips had curved into a small, sad smile.  "Thank you.  You have no idea what that means to me."

Suddenly, their eyes were caught in one another's, lost in the moment, and something soft had fluttered in her chest, dangerously close to her heart.  Fortunately, she had been able to break free of the unexpected spell she'd fallen under, breaking his stare and turning her gaze to the house.  Realizing that she'd still been hugging him, she let go and took another step back, giving his hand a slight squeeze.  "We should get inside – it's a little chilly out here."

"Yeah."

Coming back to the present, she sighed deeply.  She had to stop this.  Now.  Before it was too late.  Her heart and thoughts kept straying to things they shouldn't be – which were now confusing her.  What was this? She still loved Finn – didn't she?  Of course she did! She'd given him her heart long ago, right?  But something uncertain whispered through her, feeling like she was being dishonest with herself.  About her relationship with Finn.  And about Ben.

'I wouldn't change anything about our friendship.'

She remembered when he'd said that to her a few nights ago.   Had it really only been last week?  Everything between them seemed to be changing so suddenly ....but she didn't know what had happened to cause it.

He was her friend dammit!  Her closest friend.  And she was his.  She did not want to lose that – and based on what he'd said, he clearly wanted to keep it that way.  So whatever this was, she'd have to deal with it – stop her traitorous, stupid mind and heart from going down this road.  If she continued, she'd likely lose him – and Finn.  And losing Ben from her life simply wasn't an option – he was too important to her.  So, she'd snuff out any of these errant feelings – bury them deep – and soldier on.

Steeling her reserve, she took a deep breath.  Yes.  That's exactly what she'd do.  That way, she'd be able to keep him in her life, because anything else was simply too painful to imagine.

Having made that decision, she reached for her wine and gulped the rest down.  Frowning at the empty glass, she contemplated calling for Finn to come in and give her a refill.   Should she?  Would he perhaps decide to stop ignoring her if he walked into this romantic little setting?  Staring at the door, she once again steeled her reserve.  She needed to make things right with Finn – and this could be a way to do that – if he was interested.  She tamped down the feeling of doubt that suddenly ran through her at the possibility of being intimate with Finn again.  No – this was the right thing to do!  Giving herself a quick nod of determination, she called out sweetly.  "Finn Honey..... can you come here please?"

****

The lights were dim, the room almost completely dark as Ben sat on his sofa with his head in his hands.  It didn't matter.  It matched his mood.  A glass of whiskey, neat, half consumed, sat on the table in front of him.

He rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes, trying to erase the feelings he'd felt building all day, ever since he'd told Rey about his time with Snoke.  She'd understood.  He knew she would.  But still, somewhere deep down, he'd been afraid that once she knew the truth she'd run away screaming.  That she'd tell him he wasn't who she thought he was and wanted nothing more to do with him.

Instead, she'd listened patiently, telling him how proud she was of him, before soothing him, making sure he was okay.  His breath shuddered out of his chest as his traitorous emotions threatened to bubble over.  Of course she did.  This was Rey.  She knew him.  Knew what made him tick.  Knew his stupid idiosyncrasies.  'Quirks' she'd called them.  He wasn't even sure Kay had noticed them all.  How fucked up was that?

Lately, his thoughts were filled with her.  Thoughts of her smile.  Her eyes.  Her laugh.  Her scent.  He'd be in the middle of writing a report, standing on the T, or working through a problem that needed solving, and out of nowhere she'd be there, taking over his thoughts completely.  No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop thinking about her.  It excited him, terrified him, and made him feel like shit all at the same time.

He needed to either stop this, or end things with Kay.  It wasn't fair to her.  He no longer felt for her what he used to, and if he was honest with himself, he'd really only ever felt a small kernel of affection for her in comparison to.... No!  Stop!  He chastised himself.  She was his friend.  She was trying to work things out with Finn.  She didn't see him in that way.

The way she'd been so dedicated in trying to help him with Kay showed him that.  How vigorous she'd been in trying to come up with ideas to wow Kay, in hopes of helping Ben get her into the mood, and ultimately into bed.  That in itself should be proof enough that Rey simply didn't feel that way about him – didn't harbour any secret thoughts of him, as he now admitted that he did for her.

And, it was Rey. Beautiful, smart, funny, sexy Rey.  Despite her teasing assertions that women apparently found him attractive, he'd never thought of himself that way.  He'd grown up never fitting into his own skin very well.   Too big, too lanky, with a face that didn't quite fit together.  There was no way she'd ever see him that way – feel that way about him.  She was simply too – everything – for him.  In a nutshell, she was out of his league.

He sighed deeply.  Sometimes however, when he knew that his traitorous mind was playing tricks on him, he swore that she looked at him as if he was her sun.  At other times, he thought he'd seen hunger in her eyes, before she quickly looked away.

But that was just wishful thinking.  Wistful imaginings of his foolish mind – and heart.  What was he going to do about it?  If she ever found out that he harbored these thoughts about her, it would make her uncomfortable – and she wouldn't want to spend time with him anymore – especially alone.  He couldn't lose her – he just couldn't bear that.  He'd have to try to bury these feelings – make sure she never became aware.  It would probably slowly kill him to continue to watch her with Finn, but he had no other choice.  If it came to having Rey in his life versus not, he'd do whatever was necessary to keep her there, even if it meant living a lie.  Eventually, his foolishness would fade and he'd meet someone else.  Someone more like – stop!  He placed a hand over his eyes and took a deep breath.

In terms of Kay, he would cancel the 'night out' he'd planned – there was no point in going through with it any longer.  However, he couldn't break it off with her over the holidays – that just seemed cruel.  He didn't think she'd truly be sad when they parted ways though.  She'd never really seemed to be that invested in their relationship anyways, and recently, well, they hadn't spent a whole lot of time together.  These days she hung out with Rose more often than him.  He'd felt her slowly withdrawing from him and his life over the past few months, so he really didn't think she'd be that upset by their relationship finally ending.

It hadn't been all bad, per se.  They'd both gotten what they'd needed – sort of.  He'd needed to believe in the good in people – and she was just so sweet and good – he couldn't have seen himself with anyone else at the time.  For her, he'd hoped he'd at least provided her with some companionship.  It was a kind of companionship he hadn't really shared with anyone before her, not until – stop!  The fact that their sex life had never lived up to his expectations..... well, he'd just have to live with that one, unsure as to what else he could've done to have made things better for her – and vice versa.

Having made the decision, he felt marginally better.  He'd just wait until mid-January or so to do it.  In terms of his inappropriate feelings for Rey, he'd just continue to bury them deep down – next to where he was sure his rotting monster was also buried, and hoped that neither would come roaring to life when he least expected it.

****

Rey stood in the shower later that evening, letting the water pour over her.  She felt awful.  A little nauseous.  Numb.  Her chest and throat were tight and her eyes were filled with tears.  She wanted nothing more than to cry over her stupidity.  It had been so long since her and Finn had made love, but that's not what they'd just done.  It was sex – pure and simple.  And it wasn't even good sex at that.  If she had to rate it, she'd probably say it was the worst experience ever with Finn.

She'd known it was wrong as soon as they'd started to fool around.  He'd come into her little haven when she'd called, his eyes widening when he saw her in the bath, surrounded by bubbles glittering in the candlelight.  She'd given him a seductive smile as she stood from the water, letting the soapy suds run down her body, causing her skin to glisten in the light of the flickering flame.  "I was going to ask you to refill my wine, but I think I'm thirsty for something else."  She'd said coyly.

His eyes just stayed focused on her wet skin, as he stepped forward, running his hands down her body.   That was the instant – right there – when she'd known that she'd made a colossal mistake.  The moment his hands touched her body, she knew she didn't want to do it.  But even at that point, she felt she was in too deep to stop him.  After all, she'd invited him.

The whole episode – no, ordeal – had been awkward.  She strongly suspected that Finn had also regretted it from the moment they'd begun.  He'd also seemed reserved, tentative, and emotionally detached during the whole thing.  She couldn't explain it.  It had felt like they were two strangers simply going through the motions without any actual feelings or connection, instead of sharing the most intimate act that they could.  The act itself had actually felt like work – like they were working to get to the end – to get it over and done with – and that's what had hurt most of all.

When they were done, there was no post-coital cuddling or affection.  They had both turned away from each other and rolled to their respective sides of the bed.  Eventually, Rey had gotten up to clean herself and had decided that she needed some additional time away from him to reconcile her feelings and find some solace.  She jumped into the shower and was still just standing there, feeling like shit.

Her mind had played a dirty trick on her.  She'd convinced herself that she'd needed to seduce him to make things better.  To drive those persistent thoughts of Ben from her mind.  Now, she just felt dirty, like she had somehow carelessly given away a part of herself that she never had before.

Every time she'd ever made love with Finn, it was because she'd wanted to – both physically and mentally.  Wanted – no, craved - the intimacy that it had brought.  This time, she'd felt none of that.  Instead, she felt repulsed with herself.  Confused, angry and full of self-pity that she'd not only initiated it, but allowed it to continue – even after realizing that she shouldn't.

A pain pierced her chest, followed by a small sob.  Sliding down the shower wall, she hugged her knees to herself as she sat under the warm spray and cried.

****

With Christmas right around the corner, the days flew by.  On Wednesday afternoon Rey left work early to start preparations on the dinner she was making for their friends that night.  It wasn't a big deal, but she'd foolishly decided to serve a turkey dinner, and the bird needed enough time to cook.  She also had a few gifts to finish wrapping, and wanted to get them done before Finn got home from work.  They'd already put up their tree, having picked it out and put it up the night before.

There was still a bit of lingering awkwardness between the two of them since their unfortunate sexual encounter earlier in the week.  Neither of them had said anything about it – but their conversations were definitely stilted as they went through the motions of getting ready for the holidays.  Putting up the tree together seemed to have made things marginally better though.

She had everything well in hand when Finn walked in the door at around 5:30, helping her get the last few things ready before she quickly ran to the bedroom to wash her face and change her clothes.

At 6:30 the doorbell rang, signaling the arrival of their guests.  Finn donned a tacky Santa hat before answering the door, throwing it open wide in response to the doorbell.  "Ho ho ho."  He bellowed cheesily.

Ben, Kay and Rose were all standing in the doorway, laughing.  "Merry Christmas Santa!"  They chimed in unison.

"Merry Christmas!"  Finn smiled and stepped back, allowing them in, exchanging hugs with them all.  "Put the gifts under the tree."  He motioned to the small Christmas tree in the corner.  "We just put it up yesterday, and it still looks so bare underneath!"

Kay breathed in deeply.  "It smells so nice.  I love a real tree."

"Me too."  Rey chimed in, coming over from the kitchen with a huge smile on her face.  "I refuse to get a fake one.  Merry Christmas everybody!"  She made her way to each of them, giving them all warm embraces.  When she got to Ben, she gave him an extra squeeze, whispering.  "Sorry I haven't really returned your texts – it's been really crazy at work, and I'm trying to get everything done by end of day tomorrow so I don't need to work over the holidays."

Catching a flash of something uncertain in her eyes, he whispered back.  "Its okay.  I've probably been just as busy."

She nodded in return, addressing everyone.  "What does everyone want to drink.  We have wine, but I made a holiday punch if anyone wants to try that first.  But I warn you, its got a bit of a kick!"  She grinned.

Kay and Rose both immediately asked for the punch.  Taking a sip of Kay's drink, Ben frowned and opted for wine instead, saying the punch was too sweet.

Everyone got settled on the couch, relaxing and enjoying their drinks before dinner.  Rey had gone a little overboard on the decorations, with almost every surface covered in something Christmasey.  It created a cheesy, but happy, festive vibe, with modern holiday tunes playing softly in the background.  Rose was very excited about the upcoming New Year's Gala, eagerly chatting with Kay about getting their hair and makeup done that day, lamenting over how long it would probably take them to get ready.

Rey sat back and watched as everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, basking in a warm glow of happiness and friendship.  She loved the holidays.  Everything just seemed so – hopeful – so filled with promise at this time of year.  Her eyes flicked to Kay, watching her in particular, noticing how she'd subtly kept her distance from Ben.  Seated on the couch, she'd positioned herself next to Rose who was sitting in between the two of them.  Had she always done that? Hmmm.....

Her gaze strayed to Ben, who was listening to a story Rose had moved on to about some debacle during one of her recent shopping escapades, when his eyes suddenly found hers.  Her heart stuttered momentarily as they connected and held.  She swallowed down the feeling, giving him a small smile before taking a sip of her drink and looking away as she got up to get dinner ready to serve.

Afterwards, they were once again all sitting around relaxing, pleasantly full from their meal.  Rose groaned loudly.  "That was amazing Rey!  I didn't expect to get a turkey dinner tonight.  I'm so full!"

"I didn't do much – it was pre-stuffed -  never tell Anna I did that by the way - so all I had to do was throw it in the oven and make some veggies and gravy.  But I will admit – it was better than I thought."  She grinned.

"Should we do the gift swap now, before we all fall asleep from the tryptophan?"  Finn joked.

Everyone nodded, as he went on to explain.  "Okay.  The rules are simple.  The youngest picks first, followed by the next oldest, etc.  You can pick from under the tree or steal from someone who already has a gift."

As the youngest, Kay would choose first, followed by Rose, then Finn and Rey.  Ben was the eldest, so he'd be last.  One of the gifts under the tree was shaped oddly, wrapped in really bright paper, and became the object of several 'thefts' as more than one of them had wanted it.  By the end, they were all laughing uproariously as the gifts were stolen, chosen or exchanged on mutual agreement.

Once all of the gifts were opened, they all laughed once more.  Some were gag gifts - Rose had ended up with a penis-shaped candle – cackling so hard when she saw it she actually cried.  "Oh my God guys!  I think its Patchoulli scented!"  She exclaimed as she sniffed it, laughing even harder.  "At least it'll make my apartment smell nice!"

Others were more practical, like the personal organizer that Finn got.  The oddly shaped one that had changed hands so many times went to Rey, and turned out to be an artisan corkscrew, made out of a gnarled piece of wood.  It was beautiful, and Rey was delighted with it, smiling brightly at her prize.  "Woo hoo!  I'm so happy with this!  It's a wine opener, and a show piece!"

Ben grinned at her enthusiasm, happy to see her so pleased with the gift that he had brought.  Looking around at everyone, he tried to figure out who had bought the penis candle.  Had anyone else received it, he would've put his money on Rose – but since she got it, the only other possibility was Rey.  Kay didn't have the social fortitude for that, and he just couldn't see Finn buying it, so it had to be Rey.  Shaking his head, he pursed his lips to keep himself from laughing out loud at her daring gift.

Throughout the evening, Rey had continued to watch Kay's behavior and demeanour with Ben.  She wasn't being weird per se, and was her typical sweet self, but she was definitely keeping her distance from him.  Even at dinner, she'd chosen to sit away from him, at the end of the table, rather than beside or across from him.  Rey had sat next to Finn, across from Ben, surreptitiously watching them both during the whole meal.  Something was definitely up with Kay.  She didn't know what it could be – but hoped that whatever it was, it didn't end up boding badly for Ben.

It was probably just the holidays.  Lots of people went into a funk at this time of the year.... So maybe that was it.  Hopefully.  While Kay's behavior was really starting to annoy her, and she wanted it to stop, she didn't want him to end up hurt – especially at this time of the year.

As their guests prepared to leave for the evening, Rey pulled Ben aside.  "Are you okay?"  She asked.  "You – and Kay – you both seem very quiet tonight."

He shrugged.  "I'm okay.  But yeah, Kay is really quiet...."  He sighed.  "She never mentioned anything to me, so I'm not sure what's up."

"Is she going back home tonight."

He shook his head.  "No, but she's staying at Rose's.  Something they have to work on before tomorrow - apparently."

Rey inhaled deeply and growled.  Bullshit.  She said to herself.  "Oh."  She replied out loud to Ben.

A flicker of sadness flashed in his eyes before he replaced it with a look of resigned acceptance.  "Its fine Rey."

She placed her hand on his arm.  "Its not Ben – but...."

"Its okay, Rey.  Really."  He gave her a small, but sad, smile.

Taking another deep breath, she nodded.  "Okay."  Glancing around the room once more, she asked.  "Will we see you on Boxing Day?"

"Yes.  I'll be there."

"Good."  She leaned up on her tiptoes and gave him a tight hug.  "Merry Christmas, Ben."

His throat tightened as he squeezed her back.  "Merry Christmas to you too Rey."

They walked over to the door, where both Rey and Finn said their goodbye's and Merry Christmases to everyone else.  They'd all see each other at the Gala in just over a week, but this was the last time they'd see each other before Christmas.  However, other than Rose, the four of them would be at Ben's parents on Boxing Day, so they'd all see each other one more time before the Gala.

After their guests had left, the two of them continued to tidy up in silence.  It was a few minutes before Rey noticed Finn's stiff posture.  "Finn, is something wrong?"  She asked.

Finn turned to study her for a few seconds, not saying anything.  Finally, he asked, condescendingly.  "Why would anything be wrong Rey?"

Stopping, she put her hands on her hips.  "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You and Ben looked pretty cozy there, just before he left."

Her eyes widened.  "Finn, did you not think that something was off with him tonight?  I was concerned – so I asked.  And something was bothering him.  So I gave him a hug to try to comfort him and to wish him a Merry Christmas!  Jeez Finn!"

Finn's harshness shrunk a little in the face of her ire.  "Are you sure?"  He asked.

Letting out a roar in frustration, she slammed the dishwasher closed and stormed past him.  "How many times are we going to go through this Finn?  I have been trying so hard to bring us closer again – like we used to be.  You and me!  Yet every single time I try, it seems like you've pushed me away!  I don't know what to do any more!"

"I didn't push you away the other night!"  He shot back.  "And look how well that went!"

Tears had started to form in her eyes, and pain sliced through her chest at his confirmation that he too felt that the sex had been off.  Taking a deep breath, she could feel the tears start to trickle down her cheeks.  "Finn, do you still want to make this work?  Because I really don't feel that you do.  And maybe that's why it felt so fucking awkward the other night!"

Finn immediately looked contrite, scrubbing his hand over his face.  "Shit."  He muttered.  "Is that what you think?"

She could hear the hurt in his voice.  "Its what I feel Finn."  She said fervently.

He walked over to the couch and dropped his head into his hands.  After a minute or so he raised his head to look at her.  She could see that his eyes were glassy.  "I'm sorry Rey.  I didn't know that's what you felt."  He swallowed thickly.  "I do want to make this work.  I do want to try.  Just, sometimes, it feels....different.  Its not like it used to be."

"So what do we do?  I don't want to fight any more Finn.  Its almost Christmas..."  Her voice held a note of pleading.

"I know.  I don't want to argue either.  But we do need to figure this out.  I....I'm really not sure what's wrong, or what we should do."  He said resignedly.

She sighed.  "I'm not sure what to do either.  But I think that if we really want to make this work – and I still do – that we need to talk – to communicate.  Tell each other how we're feeling."

He nodded.  Getting up, he walked over and embraced her tightly.  His voice was strained, his throat tight.  "I don't want to lose you Rey.  But everything has been so confusing lately."

"I don't want to lose you either."  She sighed out.   "I've been so sad these past two or three months, feeling like you haven't really wanted.... this...anymore."

"I'm sorry."  He told her again.  "Can we maybe try to kind of start again?"  He looked at her hopefully, and she nodded back at him.  "Okay.  Good."  He hesitated before continuing.  "But, maybe we should hold off on the physical part for now?  Until...well..."  He stumbled over his words.  "...maybe until we're both really feeling it again?"

Rey breathed a sigh of relief, nodding.  "Yes.  I think that would be best."

Leaning over, Finn gave her a soft kiss.  "Tonight was fun.  But I'm exhausted now.  Let's go to sleep."

Smiling back at him tremulously, she nodded again, flipping off the lights before following him into the bedroom.  Maybe - just maybe, she thought, everything would be allright after all.