A/N - Hi Lovelies!  A shorter chapter for you today - but again, its all part of the puzzle that will be this story.  I'll try to keep posting regularly to keep the story moving and I hope you enjoy.  Please drop me your lovely little comments and hit that little star to vote!  Thanks again for all of your support!

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The rocking of the train car was lulling Rey to sleep as she rode home after work.  Even though it was Friday, she'd stayed late, wanting to delay the inevitable confrontation with Finn.  What in the fuck was she going to say to him?

She had no idea why he'd lied to her – so she'd give him the chance to explain, and try to hold onto her temper while doing it.  It had been weeks, and they still hadn't had sex.  At this point, she didn't even want to.  Not until they were back on better footing.  Things between them were definitely tense, but at this point, she didn't know how to make them better.

They needed to have a good chat, and to be honest with each other.  Did he still want to try to make their relationship work?  Did she?  She sighed.  Everything was just so confusing.  She'd been trying very hard to find the closeness they used to share – that connection - with him again, but it hadn't been working. Instead, she'd been inadvertently growing closer to Ben.  She wasn't complaining about that – she'd never had a friend as close as him, and now that she did, she wouldn't trade it for anything.

However, she could sense that her feelings for him seemed to be changing – deepening somehow.  Because of that, she couldn't help feeling a bit disloyal to Finn.  Shouldn't she be as close to her significant other as she was to Ben?  Shouldn't she be able to tell Finn anything at all?  Unfortunately, she didn't feel like she could - especially not now.

Sighing deeply, she chewed on her lip, lost in thought.

Her and Finn had never had a relationship like that.  They'd never really shared their deepest darkest secrets with one another.  Sure, they'd talked about things, like Finn's experiences growing up in Foster care, and Rey's loss of her natural parents so young, but somehow it always felt a bit superficial – only ever really scratching the surface of their feelings.  As a result, she'd never truly considered Finn as someone she could confide in.

Despite her promise to Ben, she hadn't even told him about her recent discoveries about her parents, not wanting to answer what she usually called 'Finn questions'.  Questions that were unintentionally hurtful in their insensitivity and banality.

Sometimes, it was almost as if Finn couldn't understand certain emotions.  Because he didn't have parents nor a family of his own, she wasn't sure how he'd react to the situation, worried that he might think that although it was tragic, that what had happened – the intrigue of it all - was also kind of cool.  She didn't think she'd be able to handle that, and because of it, had simply stayed silent about the whole thing.  And maybe that's what she'd been missing in a partner – a confidant.

She was worried whether that could be part of the reason why things weren't improving with him – if she was unintentionally and unconsciously sabotaging them.  She didn't think so, but Rey liked to examine every facet of a problem while trying to solve it – and she at least recognized that it was a distinct possibility that that was what was happening.

Shaking her head, she brought herself back to reality.  In the end, it didn't really matter.  Ben was her best friend.  She knew that he also valued their friendship – just as much as she did.  Hearing his voice echo in her head, his words played over and over again in her mind.

'I wouldn't change anything about our friendship.'

She smiled.  Neither would she.  What they shared was incredibly special.  But she had to ask herself, if it came down to a choice between her relationship with Finn, or her friendship with Ben, which would she choose?  She suspected that she already knew the answer to that question, and that's what scared her most of all.

Arriving at her stop, she exited the train and walked the short distance to their apartment.  Unsure of what to expect, she was quiet when she entered their suite, silently locking the door and setting her bag onto the floor.  Looking across the room, she could see Finn sitting on the couch – clearly waiting for her – an open bottle of beer on the table in front of him.

Kicking her boots off, she removed and hung her coat before walking over to stand in front of him, her arms folded tightly across her chest.  He was the first to speak, his gaze focused on the beer bottle.  "Did you stay at Ben's last night?"

"I did."  She replied.

His gaze flicked up to her face and pierced her.  "Is there something going on with you two?"

Anger surged through her veins.  Oh no, he was not going to do this!  She took a deep breath, trying to keep her voice calm – but deadly serious.  "Are you fucking kidding me Finn?  You did not just ask me that!"

"I did.  And I want an answer."

She hissed out a breath.  "Of course not you asshole!  I don't know how many times I've tried to make you feel comfortable with my friendship with him!  But this isn't about that.  Its about the fact that you were not at work late last night.  You were out with Kay and Rose!"

"Yes!  I was!  And you were out with Ben!"  He said angrily.

Once again, she took a deep breath before answering, sensing that this could devolve into a screaming match.  "No Finn.  I was out with my friends.  You know, the ones I only see a few times per year, at best?  I invited Ben to tag along because my boyfriend blew me off!  Except that I didn't know that at the time!"  She was standing in front of him with her hands on her hips, her posture tense with anger.

"They're your friends anyways – not mine!  Why would you care that I didn't want to go?!"

Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open.  "Truthfully, I wouldn't have cared!  I would've preferred that you came along so we could spend the evening together, but instead of telling me that you didn't really want to go, you lied to me!"  She practically growled at him.  "How do you think that makes me feel?  All you had to do was tell me for fuck's sake!  I might have been a little miffed – and again, it would've been because we weren't spending the evening together, not because you didn't want to see my friends, but you didn't do that!"

Turning away from him, she wandered into the kitchen and grabbed herself a beer from the fridge.  She would've preferred something stronger, but she didn't have the patience to make herself something at that moment.

Walking back to the couch, she sat down at the other end and glared at him.  "Why, Finn?  Just tell me why you didn't tell me?  That's all I really want to know."

He was holding the beer in his hands, absentmindedly turning the bottle around in his fingers.  Glancing up at her, he replied, a deep sigh escaping his chest.  "I'm not really sure Rey.  Things have been....weird...between us lately.  And I guess I just didn't want to get into....something like this."

Taking a couple of swigs of her drink, she shook her head.  "This is worse Finn.'

"I know."  He replied meekly, looking up at her apologetically.  "I'm sorry.  Really, really sorry Rey."

She sighed, still glaring at him, waiting to see if he had anything else to say.  He just kept looking at her for a full minute, till she raised a brow at him in question.

"And.....I'm sorry I said those things about you and Ben."

She closed her eyes and swallowed thickly, before opening them to look at him again.  "Thank you Finn.  You have to know that I would never....."  She trailed off.

"I know.  That was my own guilt talking...."  She looked momentarily taken aback, when he quickly clarified.  "For lying to you."

"Oh.  Okay.  For a minute there...."

He shook his head, and gave her a sarcastic looking smirk.  "Same as you, I would never...."

She nodded back at him.  Both of them continued drinking their beers in silence for several minutes before Finn asked.  "Are you hungry?  Do you want to order dinner?"

"Sounds good."  She replied, as Finn got up to grab his phone.

****
Rey blew a stray strand of hair out of her face as she crawled deeper into the cupboard under the sink and continued vehemently scrubbing.  She'd woken up in a bad mood – with excess irritated energy, and so did what she always did when she needed to work off her anger.  She cleaned.  Thoroughly.  And energetically.

She was still highly annoyed at Finn, and even though they'd reached a bit of an understanding last night, she still hadn't completely forgiven him.  That would take some time.  But Christmas was in less than a week, and she didn't want their spat to affect the holidays, so knew she had to do something to expel it.  Hence the vigorous scrubbing she was currently engaged in.

Her phone dinged to signal an incoming text.   She knew from the chime that it was from Ben.  Deciding to take a short break, she backed out of the small space and removed the gloves from her hands.  Grabbing her phone, she checked the message.

'Hey.  Just wanted to check in to see how you're doing this morning?'

She quickly texted him back.  'I'm fine.  Just doing some cleaning.'

'I see.  So you spoke to Finn last night.'  He responded.

Sighing, she growled quietly in her throat, remembering how Finn had told everyone about her peculiar method of ridding herself of nervous energy or annoyances.  'I did.  It went okay.  But we're still not really speaking.  Only a few words here and there.'

'I'm sorry.'  Came his quick reply.

'Not your fault.  I'm going to do some Xmas shopping later – that'll get me out of the apartment – so that's a good thing.'

'Good.  Try to have a good day?'

She rolled her eyes as she typed out her reply.  'Are you kidding?   I hate shopping.  And to brave it on the last Saturday before Xmas is nuts – but I still need a few gifts.'

'Then I'll say good luck instead.😜'

'Yeah – I'll need it.  Maybe I'll call you later?'

'Sure.  Talk then.'

'Bye.'

She chucked her phone back onto the kitchen island and smiled, some of the tension in her chest easing just a little.  Of course he would check in on her – make sure she wasn't an emotional wreck after having it out with Finn.  He knew how hurt she'd been by what he did.  Getting lost in thought for a minute, she recalled their conversations from the past few days, how he supportive he'd been, and was still being.  If she was completely honest with herself, she didn't know what she'd do without him.  These days, he was the one sure thing that brought a smile to her face.

Taking a deep breath, she decided that she'd wasted enough time standing around, and returned to her scrubbing.  She needed to finish this quickly if she wanted to jump in the shower and have enough time to finish her Christmas shopping before stores closed for the day.  She could only hope that she'd be able to find everything today, since she wouldn't have another opportunity.  She still needed gifts for Obi and Anna, as well as Ben.

Finn's gift had been easy at the time, having impulsively decided on purchasing that Bahamas getaway she'd mentioned to Ben.  The way things were now however, she wasn't sure it had been a good idea.  She guessed she'd see how he'd react when he opened the gift on Christmas morning.

She also knew what she was getting her adoptive parents.  They desperately needed a new TV, but were too cheap to buy one.  It would be a bit bulky to transport, but she'd figure it out somehow.

In terms of Ben's gift though, she was completely stumped.  They'd all agreed to do a gift swap on Wednesday when they'd meet for their last dinner before the holidays, but they'd set a $25 limit on that.  She wanted to get him an extra gift though, to show him how important their friendship was to her – how important he was to her.  She just didn't know what that might be, so she was totally wingin' it.  Hopefully, something would either come to her or catch her eye while she was at the store.

Sighing, she slipped the gloves back onto her hands and went back to work.

****

"Fuck!  This thing's heavier than I thought!"  She muttered to herself as she rested on the stair landing.  Looking disgustedly at the huge box, she cursed her stupidity.  She just had to buy the 55 inch, didn't she?  But it was such a good deal, she couldn't resist.  Pausing for another minute to catch her breath before dragging the thing up the last flight of stairs, she continued to chastise herself.  Mental note, never live on the 3rd floor of a building without an elevator.

She'd also managed to find what she hoped was the perfect gift for Ben.  When she first laid eyes on the watch, she couldn't help but imagine it on his wrist.  Every successful businessman and CEO of his own company needed an impressive, distinguished looking watch, didn't they?  He always wore one – so he definitely liked watches.

Although his was functional and nice enough – it wasn't really very impressive - didn't exude confidence and power.  This one did, and she just knew she had to have it for him.  It almost felt like it called to her, and she simply couldn't walk away without buying it.  It wasn't cheap – but the store was having a special sale, so it was almost 50% off - and although she hadn't intended to spend that much on a gift for him, she didn't care.  Something about it just felt perfect.

When the salesperson asked if she wanted to have it engraved, she'd actually thought about it for a minute, but decided that would seem just a little too personal, and so declined.

She was excited to give it to him though, wanting to see his reaction.  However, there likely wouldn't be a good time before Christmas.  She'd see him at their dinner this week, but wouldn't give it to him then; that would just seem weird.  And truthfully, she'd prefer that it was just the two of them when he opened it.  So, it would likely have to be sometime after Christmas.  But that was fine – there was no rule that said gifts had to be given before the clock struck midnight on December 26th.

Deciding that she'd rested enough, she took a deep breath and proceeded to heave the huge box up the remaining flight of stairs.

Finn's eyes widened when she dragged the box into the apartment.  "I see you got the TV for Obi and Anna."  Immediately coming over to help, he remarked.  "Wow.  That is one big box."  He laughed, looking at it closely.  "Wait - holy shit Rey!  Did you drag this thing all the way upstairs?!"  When she nodded at him, still winded from her exertions, he scolded her.  "Why the hell didn't you text me to come downstairs?  I would have helped you!"

"I didn't even think of it – sorry!"  She told him.  "It's really not that heavy, just awkward - so, the first two flights weren't actually that bad.  It wasn't till the last two that I started to get tired – and honestly it didn't even occur to me to come get you to help drag it up one measly little flight of stairs."

He rolled his eyes at her.  "Still – I would've come out – even for one 'measly little flight of stairs.'  He frowned.

"I know."  She told him, patting his cheek as she walked by him.  "But thanks."

"Rey – how in the hell are we supposed to get this to Obi and Anna's?"

She shrugged.  "I figured we'd just stuff it into the Uber with us."

He shook his head.  "Uh uh.  It'll be tough to get a maxi on Christmas Day – we might have to wait hours!"

"Shit.  I never thought of that."  She muttered, hanging up her coat.  "Don't worry though – I'll figure something out."

"Oooookaaaaaay."  Finn replied.

It was much later in the evening when she was lying in bed reading, that an idea came to her.  Finn had not yet joined her – still typically waiting until she'd turned off the light and fallen asleep before he came to bed.  Glancing at the clock, she noted the time.  It was 10:45.  Maybe a little late for a phone call, but not rude.

Grabbing her phone off the side table, she was just about to hit the button to dial Ben's number when she hesitated.  What if Kay was there and he was...occupied.  She swallowed down the sudden uncomfortable feeling that bloomed in her chest.  Based on what she knew of their recent relationship, she thought it was probably unlikely.  And if they were 'busy' he could always just ignore the call.

Fuck it, she thought, and hit the dial button.

He answered on the third ring.  "Hey."

"Hey."  She replied, a smile in her voice.  "Am I calling too late?"

"No, I was just reading."

Smiling to herself, she replied.  "Me too.  How was your day?"

"Boring."  He told her.  "I worked most of it."

She frowned.  "Oh.  Kay didn't visit?"

"No.  She went shopping with Rose for some last minute gifts too."

"Ah.  Tis the season."  She said sarcastically.  "But she didn't come by afterward?"

She could hear him sigh through the phone.  "Nope.  Dinner out with Rose."

Rey's heart clenched at the flicker of hurt she could hear in his voice.  She couldn't help the thought that skittered through her head, angry on his behalf.  She'd just had dinner with Rose the other night - she couldn't have had dinner with her boyfriend instead?  However, she clenched her teeth and stayed silent about it, moving on to the reason she'd called him for instead.  "Um.  I was actually calling to ask a favour from you."

"Sure.  What do you need?"

Her voice was hesitant.  "Um.  Would it be possible to borrow your car sometime this week – before Christmas?"

"My car?  Uh... I guess so.  Why?"

She sighed.  "I bought Obi and Anna a big-assed TV for Christmas, and I realized that I probably won't be able to get an Uber willing to take it on Christmas Day – well, without waiting a really long time.  So I'm trying to get it to their house before then."

He was silent for a few seconds.  "I'm actually going to my parents tomorrow for a little while.  If you don't mind tagging along, I can drive you."

"Oh! Sure!  That would be perfect, Ben.  Thank you."

"No problem.  I'll pick you – and the big-assed TV – "  he chuckled.  "up at 11:00 AM.  Is that okay?"

"Absolutely.  See you then.  And thanks – again."

"Really, its nothing.  I'll see you tomorrow.  Good night Rey."

"'Night, Ben."

She read for a few more minutes before deciding that she was tired and turned out the light.  Thoughts of her relationship with Finn preyed on her mind though, and she was still awake fifteen minutes later when he stealthily crept into the room and quietly got ready for bed in the dark.  She stayed completely still as he silently slipped between the sheets, not wanting him to know that she was still awake.

Hmmm.  She thought to herself, wondering if her theory about him waiting until she was asleep before coming to bed was really true – or whether she was just imagining it.  It certainly seemed that way.  She wondered if she stayed up really late whether he could outlast her, or if he'd eventually come to bed when he got tired.  Somewhere inside of her, a little devil prodded her to test her theory.

Finn had barely gotten settled when she inhaled deeply – intentionally loudly – and rolled over, flopping closer to him.  He immediately froze, seeming to hold his breath while he waited to see if she'd wake up.  He remained silent, and made no moves toward her.  She could remember a time when he might have quietly whispered something to her, like 'Can't sleep?'.  But not tonight.  Tonight he lay as still as a statue – clearly hoping that she wouldn't wake.  Nice.  She thought to herself sarcastically.

It took everything in her to stay quiet, and not let out a little huff in frustration upon discovering that he really did seem to be avoiding her while she was awake in bed.  Trying to tamp down the hurt she was feeling, she decided to play a little game in the coming nights.  Even if it killed her – and she was exhausted the next day, she'd try to outlast him – just to be able to challenge him on it and make a point when she eventually brought it up to him.  Let's see who wins this contest Finn.  It seemed a bit silly, but the notion actually made her feel a little bit better.  

Eventually she drifted off with a sadly rueful smile still on her face.

***

Ben sighed and closed his book, giving up after reading the same paragraph for the 3rd time.  His mind was still preoccupied with everything that was going on with Rey.  She'd definitely seemed in much better spirits when he spoke to her a few minutes ago, but he just couldn't get her out of his head.  It was as if she suddenly pervaded his every thought.  And when she'd called him to ask for his help getting her gift to Obi and Anna's, his heart had actually leapt.

He'd wanted to spend some more time with her – wanted to make sure that she really was okay after Finn's bullshit.  But he also wanted the opportunity to be able to talk to her about Snoke – and everything he'd gone through during that fucked up time in his life.  She was closer to him than anyone else in his life – closer than anyone had ever been, and it just felt wrong to continue to keep it from her.  And now it looked like he'd finally have the chance.  He'd definitely talk to her about it tomorrow at some point.  It would likely be a painful and difficult conversation for him, but she deserved to know.

He was pretty sure that once she knew the truth – knew everything – that it wouldn't really matter to her.  But a little kernel of doubt festered within him, making his breathing unsteady.  Maybe she really wouldn't understand.  Maybe she'd look at him differently after he told her?  He didn't think so, but it was a pretty fucked up story.  Only time would tell.

She'd also finally get to meet his parents – a prospect that excited him far more than it should – given that he had a girlfriend.  Somewhere deep inside of him though, the thought of his mother and father getting to know her just felt right.  She was, after all, one of the most important people in his life.  

He smiled with anticipation just thinking about it.  He could almost picture his Dad using his teasing, flirty ways with her and quietly laughed to himself, wondering how Rey would handle that.  And his mom would probably love her, as she typically got along best with other strong women like herself.  Again, tomorrow would tell.

Still smiling to himself, he turned out the light and settled down to sleep.