A/N - Hello Lovelies!  As promised I have a 2nd update for you this week!  Another long(ish) chapter to sink your teeth into....  Things are slowly starting to move along, and there are some mature themes in here, but its really quite tame in comparison to many others.  This is also a bit of a slow moving part of the story, and is mostly about relationships, so I'll apologize in advance if you don't like that stuff.  But please let me know what you think and any reactions you have!  Feedback is always appreciated! And vote vote vote if you like it!  Enjoy!

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She was distracted, thinking of what Poe had said to her.  His words played over and over in her mind - as if on repeat.  Its something you should consider. 

They were in an Uber on their way home from the pub, having said their goodbyes and Merry Christmases to everyone only a few minutes earlier.  Poe and Ben had exchanged contact info, agreeing to grab a drink sometime.  Rey had looked between the two of them, happy that they'd gotten along so well – better than Poe had ever gotten along with Finn.

Its something you should consider.  Poe's words kept echoing in her head.  She shifted her gaze to Ben, who was staring out the window.  As if sensing her eyes on him, he turned to look at her, a small smile on his face.  "Your friends are great."

She smiled back.  "Yes, they really are.  I'm glad you guys got along so well.  They've never really clicked as well with Finn."

"Hmm."  He intoned, the small sound barely registering.  "What was Poe harassing you about before we left."  He nudged, curiously.

"It was nothing."  She answered quickly.  Too quickly.

Ben gazed at her speculatively.  "That doesn't sound like nothing.  It sounds like you're hiding something."  He teased.

She kept staring at him intently, an unnamed feeling beginning to blossom in her chest.  Sighing heavily, she told him.  "Poe mistakenly thought that we're a couple."

His eyes widened, and his mouth opened to speak, but only a small sound of surprise came out.

"I'm pretty sure it was mostly because of the thing with the waitress.   He thought I was jealous.  So he just assumed..."  She explained.  He was still silently staring at her, his mouth slightly ajar.  "Don't worry.  I don't think we come off like that to others.  I mean, has Kay ever said anything to you?"

Finally finding his voice, he responded immediately, shaking his head.  "No.  Never."

"See?  Its fine.  Poe was just being....Poe."

"Yeah..."  Ben drawled out.  "Will Finn be home by now?"

"I'm not sure.  He said he was pretty busy with his own work, and that Rose needed some help with something too."  She noticed a weird look flash across his face in surprise before he covered it up.  "What?"  She asked.

He looked away, remaining silent.  When it didn't seem like he was going to answer, she asked again, more adamantly – nudging him with her elbow.  "Ben.  What is it?"

It was his turn to sigh.  "Its just that...I might be confused....but Kay is out with Rose tonight...they had planned to go to dinner."

Rey's face showed her confusion.  Kay was out with Rose?  But Finn said he had to help Rose with something at work tonight?  "What the fuck?"

"Maybe I'm wrong."  He added quickly.

"Text her."

"Rey –"

"Ben, please?"  She let out a slow breath.  "He was supposed to come along tonight.  Mind you, I'm glad it was you instead – you finally got to meet my friends.  But if he blew me off I'm going to be seriously pissed!"

He wasn't sure whether it was a good idea to do it – he felt like he'd be getting in the middle of a couple's business - but Rey looked so angry.  If he could possibly save her from having a fight with Finn later, by hopefully letting her know that Finn was not with Kay and Rose, then that would be a good thing, right?  It was his turn to sigh, and he ran his hand through his hair. "Okay."

She watched as he began texting, and could see several texts go back and forth between them.  Suddenly, she could hear him quietly swear.  "Fuck."  He looked up at her apologetically.

"Ask when he got there.  Please Ben."

His eyes held hers intently for several seconds before he slowly nodded and shifted back to his phone, texting again.  A few more texts were exchanged and he quietly slipped his phone into his pocket.  His eyes met hers once again.  "Shortly after seven."

Her lips pursed and she looked away, silently staring into the darkness for several minutes.  He watched her, letting her have silence until he noticed that her shoulders were shaking.  "Rey....."

"He didn't want to spend the evening with my friends and I.  He preferred to go out with others – not me!"  Her voice was filled with hurt.

Trying to soothe her a little, Ben looked for a rational reason for Finn to have done that.  "You said he's never really connected with your friends.  Maybe he just didn't want to be with them?"

He could hear her take a deep breath.  "It's possible.  But why wouldn't he just tell me that?"

"I don't know Rey."  His gaze was searching as he answered quietly.

The Uber pulled up in front of Ben's building.  She looked at him with sad eyes and he knew that he just couldn't leave her like that.  Reaching over, he embraced her in a tight hug.  "They're all still at the restaurant.  Instead of going home and stewing for another hour, why don't you come up?  I'll at least be company for you."

Pulling away she gazed up at him and swallowed thickly, tears still gathering in her eyes.  His hand reached out and gently swiped one away.

Her chest was tight with sadness and hurt – again - and she decided that really didn't want to be alone, even for a little while.  "Okay."  She told him softly.

He nodded and got out of the Uber, extending his hand to help her out too.

She was silent during the elevator ride upstairs, still thinking about what Finn's behavior might mean.  He told her he'd be working.  Maybe they'd finished early and he decided to go to dinner with them?  But if Rose had planned to go to dinner with Kay since that morning, why would he have told her he'd be working late?  She could feel a headache brewing beneath her temples.

When they reached Ben's apartment, she went right to the sofa and sat down, feeling as if she was in a daze.  Had Finn lied to her?  Had he chosen to spend the evening with Rose and Kay instead of her?  She tried to think about how she would've reacted if he'd just told her.  Would she have been miffed?  Maybe.  But she knew he didn't love her friends, and would likely have understood.  It didn't bother her that he was out with others – she wanted him to have his own friends – what bothered her was that he appeared to have lied about it.

After a few minutes, Ben came over and handed her a glass of water.  "Are you okay?"

"Not really."  She sighed out, taking a sip of the water.  "Do you have any headache medicine?"

He nodded and disappeared for another minute, before returning and handing her the pills.  "Here."

Grabbing them, she washed them down quickly, then looked up at him sadly.  "He lied to me Ben.  Blatantly lied to me."

Reaching out, he took her hand.  "You don't know that for sure.  Talk to him first – before you come to any wrong conclusions."

"What else could it be?"  She asked.  "You told me this morning that Kay was busy – so I'm assuming that she had planned to have dinner with Rose tonight."  He nodded back at her.  "And if that was truly the case, then how did Finn end up there when he told me that he was going to be too busy catching up – as well as helping Rose – to be able to come along tonight."  She sighed.  "If he didn't want to come along, he should've just told me.  Yes, I would've been a bit angry, but at least I wouldn't feel so.....hurt."

She looked up at him, at his deeply expressive eyes that always spoke to her, and lost it.  The tears started to flow freely, and she began to actually weep.

Ben leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his embrace.  "Shhhh."  He whispered.  "Don't get so upset.  It could all just be a misunderstanding Rey."

He could feel her shake her head against his chest.  "I'm pretty sure its not!"

"Why would you say that?"

"Because he won't touch me anymore!"  She wailed.  She could feel his posture stiffen beneath her.  "And its not just that - he's actually avoiding me!"  She cried harder.

He continued to try to soothe her, holding her tightly and rubbing her back until her sobs had subsided a little and she seemed to be back in control.  Pulling back slightly, he looked into her beautifully sad eyes, wiping away some of her tears with his thumb.  "Talk to me."

She dropped her forehead to his chest, his shirt wet from her tears.  "I feel so.....I don't know what I feel.  Hurt, I guess."  Lifting her head slightly, she looked up at him, avoiding his eyes.  "I've tried – you know – to get him into bed recently – but he always has an excuse.  And now he won't come to bed at night until I'm already asleep."  She swallowed, shame written on her face.

Pulling her back to his chest he propped his chin on the top of her head.  "If that's true Rey then he's an idiot."  She could feel his deep inhale as his chest moved against her face.  "Have you talked to him about it?"

"I tried – once.  But got upset and it didn't end well."  She recalled what had happened afterward, and remembering her shower fantasy, shivered in his arms.  Do not let your mind go there Rey.  Warning bells echoed loudly through her head, buzzing WRONG WRONG WRONG like an alarm.

"Maybe you should try again when you're not upset?"  He suggested.

She leaned away from him – needing to get out of his arms before her anger, hurt and sadness caused her to do something stupid and ultimately ruin their friendship.  Wiping her tears away with her hands, she looked up at him sheepishly.  "Thanks."  She pulled back further and brought her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them.  "We seem to be doing this a lot lately."

He chuckled.  "We do."

"Fuck.  Aren't we a pair."  She lamented.  "At least you have a plan with Kay.  I have nothing.  I don't know what to do anymore Ben."

"Just.....talk to him.....I guess?"  He suggested.

Nodding back at him, she replied.  "I will.  I should go."

He tilted his head.  "You're welcome to stay, if you want.  Although, I'm not sure if that would be a good idea....it might make things worse."

"Hmmm.  Yeah."  She thought about it for a minute.  "Can you please grab my phone?  Its in the pocket of my coat."

Getting up, he retrieved it from her coat and handed to her.  She immediately texted Finn.

'Hey.  I'm just leaving.  Will you be home soon?' She asked.

'Almost.  Just finishing up.  Will leave soon.'  Came his quick reply.

She thought about the innocent looking reply for a minute.  Looking up at Ben, who was gazing down at her intently, she muttered,  "Moment of truth."

'Still at work so late?'  She typed in the words and held her breath as she hit send.

She watched, focused on the little dots, feeling like there was a very long pause before his answer popped in.

'Yeah.  Sorry.  I had a lot to do.  It's been really crazy lately.'

Her heart squeezed in her chest at the confirmation of his dishonesty.  "Caught ya, fucker."  Rey whispered under her breath.  Her angry gaze flicked up to Ben's.  "Watch this."

"Rey...."  He warned.

'Actually, don't wait up.  We've decided to party a little longer, and I don't want to wake you so I'll probably just stay at Ben's tonight.'

'Why would you stay at Ben's?'  Came his immediate reply.

'Oh, I invited him when you bailed this morning, and since Kay was busy he decided to come along.  Don't worry – I'll be fine.  See you tomorrow after work.'

She pressed send and chucked the phone onto the table, disgusted.

"What did you do?"  Ben asked.

Still seething, she glanced up at him.  "Oh, nothing.  Just very subtly let him know that he might be caught..."

"Was that a good idea?"

"Probably not.  But it sure felt damn good!  Let him stew awhile too!"  She smiled at him smugly, hurt and anger still dancing in her eyes.

At least she wasn't crying any more, he thought.   Placing his hand over his eyes, he mumbled carefully.  "Remind me never to piss you off."

"Noted."  She smirked.

"Come on."  He told her.  "You can take the bed.  And I'll grab the clothes that you returned – you can borrow them again."

She stopped in her tracks.  "Ben – I am not taking your bed.  I will take the couch."

He shook his head.  "Don't be stubborn – I'm fine on the couch."

"You are not!  Its way too short for you to sleep comfortably.  I will take the couch!"  She put her hands on her hips and stared back at him with a darkly narrowed gaze.  "Or I'll just go home and have it out with Finn tonight."

Shaking his head in resignation he held out his hands and replied, tight lipped.  "Fine."

He turned and left the room to grab her borrowed comfy clothes along with some blankets and a pillow for her.  Upon returning, he tossed the clothes at her.  "Here.  Go change.  You might as well be a little comfortable.  I left what is now your toothbrush on the counter."  He snickered.

Rolling her eyes, she headed into the main bathroom off of his bedroom to wash her face and change her clothes.  When she returned to the living room, she saw that he'd made up a makeshift bed for her on the sofa.

"You didn't have to do that."  She told him, frowning.

He shrugged back at her.  "I figured it would be easier."  Plopping herself down onto the sofa, she looked lost in thought, prompting him to ask,  "So what are you going to do about Finn?"

"I'm not sure."  She replied, covering her face with her hands.  "Talk to him, I guess.  Ask him why he wasn't honest about.....things."

"That's probably a good start."  He continued to regard her silently for another minute.  "I'm sorry this is happening to you."

Leaning back tiredly, she took a deep breath, letting it out on a long sigh.  "Yeah, I know.  Thanks....again. For everything."

He stuffed his hands into his pockets, looking mildly uncomfortable.  "You look exhausted.  You should sleep."

"I will.  Thanks."  Standing, she walked over and wrapped her arms around his waist.  She could feel his arms come around her in response. "I.....I don't know what I'd do without you Ben.  My life would be so shitty without you in it."  

His heart stuttered in response to her quietly uttered words, and a feeling of something soft but dangerous flowed through him.  "Same here."  Taking a deep breath, he gave her a chaste kiss on the top of her head and let her go.  "Goodnight Rey."

Her eyes were sadly luminous when she looked up at him.  "Goodnight Ben."

Swallowing thickly, he gave her a curt not before turning on his heel and walking out of the room.  Rey stood unmoving, watching him walk down the short hallway and close his bedroom door.

****

Ben stood in the shower trying to calm his temper.  Finn.  Fucking guy.  Ben didn't know what was going on with those two, but whatever it was seemed to be going downhill.  For whatever reason, Finn had blown her off tonight, and wasn't truthful about where he was going.  What the fuck was wrong with the guy?  He'd hurt her.  It may not have been intentional, but the deception was, and so her being hurt and disillusioned was the outcome.  If there was one thing he'd learned from his father, it was to never, ever lie to women.  He could hear his Dad's voice in his head.  'Women always find out the truth, Son.  Always.'

How could he have done that to her?  Rey was simply amazing.  She was the smartest woman he'd ever met, driven to succeed at whatever she put her mind to.  He knew that there weren't very many women who were robotics engineers – and Rey herself had said that literally all of her colleagues were men.  She'd also told him that it wasn't that women couldn't do it - they just generally didn't choose robotics.  But she did - it was her passion - what made her brain sing.  Her eyes sparkled whenever she mentioned a design detail she'd worked out in one of her systems, or a problem that she'd solved creatively.  She clearly loved her chosen profession.

But she wasn't just brilliantly smart.  She was friendly, kind, caring, funny, energetic and most of all real.  She didn't take any bullshit, nor did she give it.  She had a zest for life that was contagious, and her bright, toothy smile and laugh lit up any room she was in.

He thought about how she'd reacted when he'd first told her about his dilemma with Kay, not shy to talk about sex with him.  He'd bet she was a firecracker in bed too, remembering how she'd held up his hand and bluntly exclaimed.  "You mean to say that you can't get her off with these freakishly large hands?  I mean, if Finn had hands like these I'd go off like a rocket!"

He'd been embarrassed at the time – his face and ears hot and beet red - but laughed about it now.  Closing his eyes, he tried to imagine it.  Imagine how his large hands would look and feel on her naked breasts as he caressed and squeezed them, and how she'd probably moan as he trailed his fingers downward to stroke the folds between her legs.  She'd probably be so wet.  And she wouldn't be timid.  Her hands would be all over him.

Reaching down, he became lost in his fantasy, continuing his imaginings as he placed his left hand on the wall and absentmindedly stroked his now hardened shaft with his right.  He'd make sure she'd come so hard on his fingers that she'd scream his name before showing her exactly what he'd meant by being freakishly large everywhere.  His breathing was labored as he quickened his pace, groaning as he tightened his hand and moved faster and faster, imagining how her wet, hot heat would feel squeezing him.  She'd be tight.  He knew she'd be tight.  And she'd love every minute of it – every inch of him.  He shuddered and let out a quiet moan.

The picture of her in his mind was so vivid.   He could see her face – her mouth open in ecstasy.  He'd fuck her so hard and deep that she'd moan his name over and over and forget that Finn had ever hurt her.  And when she came as he was buried deep inside her, she'd wail his name – and it would be the only name she'd call out in passion ever again.

Ben's mouth opened and he panted as he imagined her face, beautiful in orgasm, could hear her cries in his mind, and he was suddenly there - his climax upon him in a rush as he groaned loudly over and over again and came all over the shower wall, continuing to pump himself until he stopped shaking.  He leaned his forehead on the cool tiles to catch his breath before he suddenly snapped out of the haze he was in and gasped in a huge, shocked breath.

Holy shit!  What in the hell just happened to him?  He'd just inadvertently – unintentionally - gotten off to thoughts of fucking Rey senseless!  While she lay sleeping – still sad, angry and hurting – in the living room.

His smart.  Amazing.  Beautiful.  Funny.  Caring.  Awesome.  Sexy.  Best.  Friend.

Holy Fuck!

He was totally screwed.

****

Ben ran his hand through his damp hair as he sat on the edge of his bed brooding, thinking about what had happened tonight.  Once he'd gotten out of the shower, he'd put on his sleep pants, and sat down to wait for her to fall asleep.  He was still trying to process what had happened in the shower.  One minute, he'd been angry at Finn on her behalf, thinking about Rey, and then before he knew it, he'd just finished jacking off to those thoughts.  And he'd come hard.   Sighing, he scrubbed a hand over his face.  How in the fuck had that happened?  He hadn't meant to think of her like that – it just happened.  Fuck – this was bad.

Get it together Solo.  He told himself, a litany of reasons and excuses running through his mind.  It probably only happened because its been months since you had anything that even resembled sex, never mind actual intercourse.  It was an accident. Rey is your best friend.  Just push it from your mind, and everything will be fine.  Rey is what's important here – not you.

Inhaling deeply, he pushed away what had happened in the shower and thought about the woman curled up on his couch, angry and hurting.  His heart went out to her, sad that she was going through these issues with Finn.

He was so glad that he could be here for her.   Neither of them really had any other close friends.  Sure, there were a couple of work colleagues that he knew she'd sometimes go to lunch with – it was the same for him.  But that just wasn't the same.  The cordial friendships of the people you worked with were nothing like those with your true friends and confidants.  And that's what him and Rey were to each other now.  After their very frank discussions about sex with their partners, he knew that they could tell each other anything – anything at all.  That's probably one of the reasons that led to his unexpected and inappropriate fantasy.  At least, he hoped it was.

Something was growing in the vicinity of his heart.  He knew it – could feel it.  They'd become even closer in the past weeks, now texting each other multiple times a day, when they used to only check in with each other every few days.  They were starting to rely on each other for moral support.   At this point, he probably communicated with her more than he did with his girlfriend.   

On days he didn't see Kay – which were now even more frequent than those he did – he usually texted or spoke on the phone with his girlfriend at least once per day.  But lately, even with all of the planning for her surprise night out – which was now starting to seem a little superfluous, it was Rey's texts or phone calls that made him grin from ear to ear.

He sighed again and scrubbed a hand over his face, pushing those thoughts away.  It was probably time to tell her about his life before...and about Snoke.... She'd understand – he knew she would.  And she wouldn't judge.  He needed to get it off of his chest.  

Other than his parents – and his therapist - he'd never told a single soul about it.  Not even Kay – afraid of how she'd react and what she'd think of him.  But the next time he had the opportunity with Rey, he'd tell her everything.

Having made that decision, he decided that he'd waited long enough for her to finally fall asleep.   He turned and pulled the covers back on the bed before carefully walking to the door and opening it quietly.  It was dark in the living room and kitchen, with only moonlight filtering in through the windows. He hoped she was sleeping soundly.  

Tiptoeing out of the room, he moved closer to the sofa and could see her curled up peacefully in the blankets.   He could hear her snoring softly and she appeared to be deeply asleep.   Remembering her reactions when Finn had tried to wake her a few weeks ago, he knew she probably wouldn't wake up when he moved her.

Very gently he leaned over and slowly removed the blankets, shifting his arms underneath her to scoop her up like he did before.  She was so light.  She wasn't short by any means, but she was very slender.  He smiled to himself, thinking about how much she liked to eat, yet stayed so skinny.  Gazing down at her sleeping face, he realized how truly beautiful she looked in the soft shadows of the night, with nothing but moonlight illuminating her delicate features.  His heart stuttered and that feeling in his chest returned.

He wanted to kiss her.  He realized with a gulp.  Remembering their soft kiss on the couch, that morning they woke up together, his breathing picked up and he suddenly almost groaned aloud.   What the fuck was happening to him?  He was becoming aroused simply standing there, holding her in his arms in the moonlight.  Warning bells rang in his head.  DANGER DANGER DANGER!

Taking a deep breath, he walked to his bedroom, gently placing her onto his bed – needing to get her out of his arms before he did something stupid.  Quickly covering her with the comforter, he turned off the lamp, but stood watching her for a few more seconds.  His eyes slowly adjusted to the dim shadows, and after a while he could see her clearly in the moonlight.  He sucked in a deep breath.  Dammit!  Why did she keep on getting more beautiful?!

Similar to the last time he'd carried her to the bed, he saw her snuggle more deeply into his pillow.  A part of him smiled on the inside.  She liked the way he smelled.

Leaning forward, he gave her a soft kiss on the forehead and turned to leave the room.  When he reached the doorway, he took one last glance back at her, realizing something for the first time.

He might actually be a little fucked.

****

He was hot.  Too hot – the blankets laying heavily over him, making him perspire.  Groaning, he tried to push them off, realizing that it wasn't blankets that were draped over him.  There was a body lying on top of him, radiating heat.  What the fuck?  Raising his head, he glanced at the sleeping form.  Rey.

He was confused.  Why was she back out here?  How did she get here?  He'd left her tucked in his bed not that long ago.  It was still dark out, probably around 2 AM or so.  He couldn't let her sleep on him the rest of the night – God knows what he might inadvertently do if he did.  He could feel himself stirring at the thought.  What the hell was happening to him?  It was like he suddenly couldn't even think about her without getting hard.  He needed to get her back into his bedroom as fast as he could without waking her.

Gently, so as to not wake her, he rolled her off of him sideways as he rolled himself off the sofa.  It wasn't graceful, but at least it was quiet.  Sitting on the floor, he stared at her for a minute, running his hand through his hair in agitation.  Finally, he stood and once again picked her up in his arms and began walking towards his bedroom.

Gazing down at her, he sighed out a deep breath.  What was he going to do with this woman?  He knew she'd been stubborn about sleeping in his bed, but she must've woken up and snuck back out here after he'd fallen asleep.  But why did she just crawl onto the couch with him?  He would've assumed that she would've woken him with a smack and sent him back to his bed.  But she really was a bear when woken from a sleep, so maybe she'd just decided to prove a point.  Whatever it was, she was being a pain in the ass.

He smirked.  Maybe that should be her nickname.  PITA.  He laughed to himself quietly.  Oh, she'd be so pissed at him.  Smiling down at her sleeping face in amusement, he squeezed her a little tighter and snuggled her closer.  He tucked her into him, nestling her face into the crook of his neck, enjoying the feel of her so close.  He was back in dangerous territory once again, but he simply couldn't resist.  Leaning over, he brushed his lips over her temple.  Smiling at her once more, something soft fluttered in the vicinity of his heart yet again.

She stirred in his arms and he stopped suddenly, trying to make sure she didn't wake up.  After a minute or so, she was still again, and he thought she'd fallen back asleep.  That was, until he felt her lips start moving at the crook of his neck.  He stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes closing at the feelings of suppressed desire that began coursing through him.  His breath shuddered out of him as his dick roared to life.  "I've been dreaming of this."  She whispered quietly, her voice coming out as a soft whine.  She'd been dreaming of this?  He was confused for a few seconds before he realized.  She must be dreaming of Finn.  He was stealing what was meant for another man.  But fuck.  It felt so good.  He shivered, feeling like an asshole.  Her lips and tongue were sliding across his neck, and he was completely frozen by how hot such a simple action was – and how hard he was from it.

He tried to swallow his guilt, but his lust addled brain was warring with reason.  He could wake her now and stop it – but she really did seem to be asleep – and would likely never even know it happened.  At worst, she'd think it was a dream.  He knew what he was about to do was crossing the line – she was his best fucking friend – but after everything that had happened tonight, he simply couldn't help it.  He'd selfishly take this little bit of pleasure – even though it was meant for Finn – and enjoy it.

Tightening his hold, he moved his hand slightly so that he was cupping her ass, and gently squeezed.  She fully moaned in response, and his dick twitched again.  Christ – how was something so simple so hot!  He could feel her tongue stroke a path up his neck, but this time he couldn't suppress the quiet moan that vibrated through his throat.

He had to stop this.  Allowing it to continue – and participating in it – made him the ultimate asshole, and a complete fuck-up of a man.  He was stealing affections she intended for Finn, and he was so desperate – so starved for physical attention – that he let it happen.  Shaking himself out of it, he began walking towards his bedroom once again, desperate to get her out of his arms so he could stop this madness.

Thank God she was such a deep sleeper, because he'd be hard pressed to explain what the fuck was going on if she did wake up.

She'd slipped a little in his arms, and he shifted her upward slightly, trying to get a better grip on her, just as he walked into his bedroom.  However, this put her face much closer to his, and looking down at her, he foolishly couldn't resist softly brushing his lips against hers.  While he'd intended to only briefly touch his lips to hers, she'd immediately started kissing him back and he was completely lost.  Every rational thought fled from his head as he groaned, tightened his hold and began kissing her deeply.

This was better than anything he'd ever felt before.  It wasn't just the rush of lust, heat and passion that surged through him, it was the intensity of his feelings – of everything that suddenly just felt right.

No.  This wasn't right.  This wasn't meant for him.  Thankfully, some part of his brain was still functioning, as warning sirens went off in his head.  He had to stop this – and he had to stop it now.  Taking the last few steps to his bed, he gently tried to wrench her away from him and lay her down.  She whimpered at the loss of contact.  "Please."  She whispered sleepily, her eyes still closed.  "I want you."

He shuddered.  He really was an asshole.  A complete and total shit.  She turned onto her side and snuggled into the comforter.  He watched her for a full minute, before reaching out and softly stroking a hand down her arm.  Even that small renewed touch caused fire to burn through his veins, all rushing downward to his groin.

Shaking his head to clear it, he whispered quietly.  "I'm sorry Rey.  So damn sorry."  The guilt was starting to eat at him – tearing at his insides.  What the fuck did he do?  She was his best friend and he'd just abused her trust.  How would he ever be able to look her in the eye again.  He took a shaky breath, and turned to leave the room.

Just before he reached the doorway, he heard her whisper again.  "Please, Ben."

His eyes flew open, and he sucked in a shocked breath.  Looking around frantically, he found himself tangled in the blankets on his couch.  Alone.  It had been a dream.  A very vivid, inappropriate dream of his best friend.  His dick was so hard it was positively aching in his sleep pants.  Fuck.  First the shower, and now this!  He needed to get a grip.  The soft light of early morning was filtering in through the windows, and he knew that Rey would likely be awake shortly.  He did not want her to find him out here with a raging hard on.

Swinging his legs off the sofa, he leaned his elbows on his thighs and hung his head with his hands buried in his hair.  Glancing down at himself, he frowned at the traitorous appendage that was currently forming an impressive tent in his pants.  Closing his eyes, he tried to relax his mind like his Uncle Luke had been teaching him to do these past weeks – hoping it would help to calm his 'situation'.

After a few minutes of doing the breathing exercises, he felt calmer and once again in control.  At least he wouldn't die of embarrassment if Rey walked out of the bedroom right now.  She'd probably be pissed at him anyways, once she found herself in his bed instead of on the couch. Oh well.  His mother had raised him to be a gentleman, and he'd never allow her to sleep on his couch while he was comfortably tucked away in his bed.  She'd just have to deal with it.

****

Comfort.  That was the first word to come to Rey's mind at the contentment she was feeling as she woke.  She couldn't remember her bed ever feeling this comfortable before.  Burrowing her face into the pillow, she inhaled deeply, wanting to absorb the blissful feeling for a little while longer, as her brain suddenly registered who's scent she was enjoying.  Ben.  Her eyes snapped open and she sat up suddenly as the events of the night before came rushing back to her.

What the fuck?  She'd gone to sleep on his sofa – so how in the fuck was she in his bed, again?  Glaring at the bedroom door, she realized that unbeknownst to her, he'd swapped places with her in the night.

Part of her was angry – wanting to be pissed at him.  But another part of her was touched that, despite her protests, he wanted to make sure that she was comfortable.  Which of course meant, that he was not.  Lovable, considerate oaf.

Jumping out of bed, she used the washroom and cleaned up a bit before padding out of the bedroom.  She found him sitting on the couch, shirtless, with his head in his hands.

"Seriously Ben?"  She asked, her hands on her hips.

He startled a bit, not having heard her quietly enter the room.  Raising his head slowly to look at her, he gave her a small shrug.  "It's done, Rey.  I just couldn't leave you on the couch.  Please don't be mad about it."

She stepped closer.  "But why?  I was fine – comfortable even.  You are too big to sleep here.  You probably have a crick in your neck."

He shook his head, standing up.  "I'm fine Rey."

When he stood, Rey realized how close she'd come to him, and found herself at eye level with his bare chest.  Her breath suddenly hitched.  God he was beautiful.  She'd never been this near to him before when he was bare-chested, and seeing him up close was dizzying.  His pecs were perfectly defined, and his abs – his fucking toned abs – they were mouth-watering.  How the fuck did he stay so fit?  He had the most beautiful upper body she could ever imagine.  It took everything in her to tear her eyes away from the masculine beauty standing so close to her.

Her eyes flicked up to his briefly, trying to make her expression lightly teasing, as she reached out and placed her hand on his chest, actually intending to give him a brief nudge backwards to put some space between them.  "Why Ben Solo, I have to say, you have quite the bod."

When he met her eyes, there was something soft but hungry in her gaze.  His heart sped up and felt himself begin to stir once again.  He fervently hoped that she didn't feel the shudder that went through him at the combination of her saucy words and the touch of her hand on his chest.   Needing to get out of there before he embarrassed himself, he quickly stepped around her and practically ran from the room, calling behind him.  "We're going to be late."

Rey was stunned.  She'd been completely captivated by the sight of his broad chest, and her comment had been meant as some good-natured teasing, to break whatever spell she suddenly seemed to be under.  But then he'd practically fled from the room.  It felt like he'd been running away from her.  But, why?  He'd never done anything like that before.  What had happened?  Did she do something to make him angry?

She had touched his bare chest, relishing in the feel – however brief – of his hot skin beneath her hand.  Was that it?  Had she crossed the line?  Maybe....Probably.  Biting her lip, she thought about touching his chest.  She really hadn't meant to - but it was as if she just couldn't resist.  Sighing, she put her face in her hands.  She'd done something inappropriate and made him feel uncomfortable.  She'd have to apologize.

Ben stood in the middle of his bedroom, his fists clenched, trying to control the raging lust and emotions surging through him.  As soon as he'd felt her hand on his chest – his bare chest – he knew he was in trouble.  But the look in her eyes – as well as her words – were what sent him over the edge.  She liked how he looked.  And she liked how he smelled.  Fuck!  He was in deep trouble.

Sitting down on his bed, he let himself fall backwards in resignation.  Fuck, he could smell her on the sheets.  That was definitely not helping.  She has a boyfriend!  He reminded himself.  And you have a girlfriend you traitorous shit!  However, after everything that had happened in the past 12 hours, there was no way he could stop his response to her, and he knew he'd had to get out of there before she noticed the growing hard on in his sleep pants – the hard on that was now once again raging out of control.

He didn't know what had happened to him in the past day.  It was as if he'd fallen off some cliff where she was concerned.  He'd known that his feelings towards her had been deepening in the past months, but it felt like some switch had now been flicked and he couldn't turn it off again.  Suddenly, his best friend was the object of his desire, not his girlfriend.  This was bad.  Really bad.  He felt so....fucking disloyal to Kay.  It was one thing to be emotionally close to your best friend, but it was another thing entirely to want them physically.  That was crossing a line.  And if Rey knew, he could lose her friendship - and that terrified him.

He had to find a way to clear his head, to be able think rationally about everything that had happened and all that he was feeling.  He simply couldn't go on like this all day – on edge like he was.  He'd have to take care of it, give himself some relief, so he could at least look at her again let alone think of her without getting hard.  But fuck, she was in the next room, and he'd be jerking off in the shower.  While technically it was no different than last night, at least then he hadn't intended to do that.  Hadn't even really been aware that he was doing it – his mind had just taken him there and his hand had followed.  He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  Fuck it – he didn't have a choice he told himself, as he headed into his bathroom and turned on the spray.

When he came out of the bedroom 15 minutes later, he found Rey sitting at the kitchen island, drinking a cup of coffee.  She quickly got up and pressed the button on the brewer to start the cup she'd had waiting for him.  Turning towards him, she looked remorseful.  "Ben.   I'm so sorry.   I.....I think I made you feel uncomfortable.  I didn't mean to do that."  She continued to stutter over her words.  "Sometimes, I just - we're so close....I didn't think..."  She blew out a breath.  "I'm an idiot."

He walked over to her, looking down into her eyes.  "Rey – you didn't do anything wrong.  You have nothing to apologize for.  I....I'm just tired."  He tilted her head up to look at him.  "I wouldn't change anything about our friendship – how close we are...."

She let out a relieved breath.  "Okay."  There was a small smile on her face.  "If anything, you're tired because of me – well kind of – because you chose to sleep on the couch – you big Stupidhead."

Chuckling, he shook his head and retrieved his coffee.  "Thanks."  He said, holding it up in a small salute as he took a sip.  "Are you okay?"  He asked cautiously.  "I mean....about Finn."

She nodded.  "Yeah. I think so.  I'm sure we'll have a little chat tonight...."  She made a face, and sighed.  "I'm going to grab a shower, and borrow Kay's shirt again."

"I'm sure she'd be fine with it – again."  He smirked.

As she turned to leave, he grabbed her hand and she looked back up at him.  "Hey....You know you can tell me absolutely anything right?"

She looked at him, confused.  "Yes, of course."

"So...if I ever did anything dumb – made you feel....weird....you'd tell me right?"

Smiling softly, she squeezed his hand.  "Absolutely.  But I don't think you could ever make me feel weird or awkward. I'm more comfortable around you than anyone else in the world Ben."  She tilted her head.  "And the same goes for you, right?  If I ever did anything like that, you'd tell me?"  He gave her a curt nod.  "Good."

"Go have your shower."  He told her.  "I'll make us something to eat."

He watched her turn and slip into his bedroom with a small smile.  

A/N #2 - Sooooorrrrrryyyyy guys.......  😜.  We'll get there eventually.....but not quite yet.