All this while wanting to be the responsible one, I did the most irresponsible thing. I kissed Blake and then, he kissed me back. As his thoughts run through my head, I can almost feel the sensation of his lips against mine and his hands on my body.

His worldly eyes reflected so many emotions that I couldn't help look away. It was overwhelming to witness. But then my phone rang, and I knew I shouldn't have answered but if only I had listened to my heart again.

There are times I wish I could turn back time and this is one of those incidents. When I heard the monotonous voice on the other end of the call, it took me by shock. So, naturally, my body went into fight and flight mode.

I ran out of there. Even when I could hear Blake's voice calling my name, I didn't stop. I took the stairs and rushed out like it would help me escape every little thing that went wrong in those five minutes.

One, I shouldn't have kissed him. What the hell was I thinking? I initiated the kiss. I kissed him first. He's four years younger than me, and from what I've observed, the guy definitely is attracted to me. But then, so am I to him. You don't kiss someone you don't find attractive, unless it's for a dare. And this has nothing to do with games. I kissed him because I wanted to, because just thinking about how it would feel to have his lips against mine had been driving me insane since the dinner party.

Two, I liked it. I liked kissing him, and if it weren't for my phone ringing. I don't know if we would've stopped. I have cursed myself so many times for the feeling that rises in my stomach every time I think about how insanely amazing it felt to kiss him. I need to get my shit together. Why would Blake make me feel this way?

Third, I shouldn't have picked up the call. I didn't even know what was on the other end, I still answered it. Instead, I should've ignored it despite how badly I wanted to avoid the 'What just happened?' conversation with Blake.

Fourth, when I did answer the call... well, I don't want to think about that call at all.

Fifth, I shouldn't have run away. But I didn't know what else to do. I panicked. There were so many thoughts clawing at my mind at once. I didn't know which one to cater to, so I ran to my car and drove throughout Brooklyn despite how much I hate the traffic. I couldn't go back to the apartment so I let the music take over.

I went back home at two in the morning, when I was sure Nick would be asleep. I have no idea if Blake would've told him but I didn't want to take chances. The only good thing about today is that he isn't at work.

My heart feels awful for the move I pulled yesterday, but I'm still conflicted about what to do. I need to talk to him, of course, but what do I even say to him?

Today marks the first day I cannot concentrate on work. Whatever issues I've faced with Genesis, I've always kept those at bay during work but right now, all I can do is shaky my leg as my mind runs a marathon. I'm almost tempted to call Blake but I resist the urge.

Whatever happened last night, it shouldn't happen again. I have to be responsible about it. But I need to clear the air with him because I can't avoid him forever.

"Hey." Genesis greets me when I reach the elevator.

She's typing at her phone and I force a smile at her. "I didn't see you all day."

"Yeah, I had a meeting with the board the entire day," She speaks as we step into the elevator. "Do you want to come over?"

"I saw you kiss a man yesterday." I blurt out. I don't know why I said it, but I feel like she should know. "I didn't see who it was, but he dropped you off."

Her eyes widen from surprise before she maintains her composure. "Are you jealous?"

"Weirdly, no." I laugh. "I think I'm in a peaceful place about our equation."

She nods at me, smiling. "Good to hear that."

When we step out of the building, she pulls me to herself and I almost stumble as my body collides with hers. There is barely any space between us as she places a light peck on my lips before staring into my eyes.

"What was that for?"

"I'm just glad about where we are." She grins, winking at me as she repeats. "Come over?"

I think about it. I should go to her place, it would provide me the perfect escape so I nod at her. "Alright. I'll drive there though, I'm not spending the night."

"Sure, see you." She waves before walking away to her car.

I sigh as I see her retreating figure before moving to my own car but then I see a very pissed off looking Blake leaning against it. I pause mid-step when I see him, his gaze narrowed down at me. His jaw is tightened and he looks super mad. I take a deep breath, trying to get my thoughts together as I walk towards him.

"What are you doing here?" I ask a stupid question. I know exactly what he's doing here.

He looks offended by my question. "I came here to check on you, to make sure you were alright. But then I see you're perfect with your girlfriend."

Wait, that's what he's mad about? I frown at him, a little taken aback by his snappy tone directed towards me.

"You're jealous of Gen?" I gape at him. I think he realises how stupid it must sound because his shoulders relax a little. "I have an equation with her, you've always known it. Nothing has changed."

"Seriously?" He scoffs, getting off the car as he steps closer to me. "You kissed me, Emma."

"And you kissed me back." I shoot back at him, aware that this is not the conversation for a sidewalk.

"At least I didn't run away." He taunts, his tone sharp and it hurts, making me swallow. "Who called you yesterday?"

"What?" I scowl at him. "I'm not having this conversation with you. Especially not here."

"Alright, open the door. Let's go talk." He gestures towards my car and I don't hold back my surprise.

He wants to talk. I thought he would throw a tantrum or annoy me further, but he really wants to talk.

"Where?" I ask, trying to think if Nick would be back at the apartment.

"My place. C'mon."

I nod, unlocking the car. We both get in and I suddenly realise how we're trapped in an enclosed space. His cologne hits me and I try to push my nerves at the back, starting the engine. I have his address in my GPS from yesterday. It's an awkward car ride, so I play my song playlist in order to kill the deafening silence between us.

He doesn't say a word to me throughout. I try to collect my thoughts about what I would say to him but really, I don't know what to talk about.

When we reach his apartment and he unlocks the door, I can see from his face itself that he has calmed down. He doesn't look as angry as he was when he first came to see me. That's a relief.

"Talk." He gestures for me to take a seat on the couch and I keep my bag on the coffee table before sitting down.

He continues to stand above my head so I sigh, "Will you at least sit?"

"Depends. Are you going to run away?"

"Blake." I plead, shaking my head. "Please. Sit."

He lets out a breath before sitting down across me, facing me and I gulp. What do I tell him?

"I don't know what to say," I tell him honestly, fumbling with my fingers as I bite on my lip.

"I'm not going to bite you." He starts. "Don't be nervous. It's not a nice look on you."

A small smile takes over at his words, making me nod at him. "Thanks."

"Why did you kiss me?" He asks, his voice a little on the edge as he stares at me, his eyes swirling with emotions, urging me come up with a satisfying answer.

"I don't know." I sigh. Honesty is the best policy. "It had been in my head since Ella's birthday. I guess I just wanted to know what it would feel like."

From his expressions, I know he isn't very pleased with the answer but he nods. "Do you know now?"

I nod at him. Yes, I know now that kissing Blake feels astonishingly amazing and left me breathless.

"I know I shouldn't have done it. I'm supposed to be the mature one out of us two, so I promise it would never happen again." I assure him, and myself, chanting the words like a mantra in my head.

With the close proximity between us, my heart is already messing up with my mind. I've been trying so hard to keep my eyes off of his lips and the spontaneous dimples that takes over his cheeks.

"You're just four years elder than me, you know? It's not much. You always freak out about that."

"No, I don't." I defend myself. "But it is much."

"Is it, really? What's age gap between Genesis and you, again?"

Shit. He's right. I bite on my inner cheek to stop the embarrassment from taking over. I've always hated it when Genesis has treated me like a child, yet I've unknowingly been doing the same to Blake. He's absolutely right, and I need to work on this, from right now.

"Got it." I nod at him. "Still, I'm sorry. I don't want to make things awkward between us."

I really don't. I liked how he was able to talk to me, and I could do the same. I even had fun with Nick and him when we went grocery shopping together.

"Who called you yesterday?"

I shake my head. "I don't want to talk about that, please."

My voice is almost on the edge of begging. I don't even want to think about it. That's one part of my life I don't like to think about.

"Okay, okay. I just asked out of concern. You looked like you had seen a ghost." He frowns, his hand covers mine and I almost retract the skin contact because of the impact of his touch. If he feels the same way, he doesn't show it. "Are you okay?"

I nod, swallowing both from his question and his touch. I don't know what is more overwhelming right now. The need to kiss him again or the fact that he isn't wrong about the ghost part. That part of my life is no less than a haunted nightmare.

"Why did you kiss me?" I ask, twisting it back upon him because I stopped yesterday, but he kissed me again.

His blue-green eyes meet mine as he gives me an expression like I should already know the answer but I really don't. Was it just the attraction? But he also made me feel jealous regarding Sara.

"I told you I find you attractive. Why is it so surprising?" He shakes his head at me.

"I want to bring in our age, but then I already learnt the lesson about that." I laugh nervously. "It's just hard to process, given that we've known each other our entire lives?"

He looks like he wants to say something but just offers me a small smile. "I think it's because we've never really bonded in the past?"

"Shouldn't that have worked differently? I'm not the best person to talk to." I remind him.

"Yes. But that's only because I annoy you. I've seen you with others, you're amazing."

A blush takes over my face at all these nice things he's saying about me. I don't deserve any of it. He gives me his classic grin as his eyes flicker over my lips quickly. He doesn't make it obvious but I catch it.

"Thanks? I guess." I look away from him and to the surroundings. "The place isn't so bad. I like it."

He follows my gaze before nodding at me. "Yeah. It's the best I could get."

I clear my throat, looking at him. "Listen. I hope I've made it clear that what happened can never happen again. There's too much at stake with you."

He looks disappointed by my words. Oh, trust me, I'm disappointed too. I haven't been kissed like that ever, and if I thought Genesis used to provide me an escape, kissing Blake made every other thought, every rational thought shut out.

"Yes, I got it. Never again."

His voice is low when hit eyes meet mine. Fuck. He's staring at me with that intense gaze of his. Sometimes I wish I knew what goes in his mind when he looks at me like that. My breathing turns a little deeper when my eyes fall on his lips. Has he always had such an attractive face?

When I look into his eyes, I already know he's staring at my lips too. I'm not sure if he leans forward first, or I do, or if both of us lean in together but when my lips meet his, it's like I can breathe again.

Every word I uttered in the last hour sounds meaningless when we kiss, his lips curving perfectly against mine. His hands go around my waist as he pulls me closer to himself. My fingers pull onto the collar of his shirt, getting rid of any distance between us.

When his tongue traces my lower lip, I try to hold back my moan but it erupts through me. He takes the chance to let our tongues mingle, making me lose my breath as his hands go around my hips.

I think that's when I snap out of it, my palm going flat against his chest as I pull back. But with my hand right above his heart, I can feel his erratic heartbeat below my palm. It matches mine. This is wrong, this is so so ridiculously wrong.

Shaking my head, I create distance between us while we both try to catch our breaths. He opens his mouth to speak up but I hold up a finger.

"Never again, Blake. Never again."

A slow, torturous grin takes over his face that makes me let out an annoyed groan as I stand up and pick up my bag.

"Emma." He laughs, holding my wrist.

Why is he laughing? This isn't funny. I just told him we can't ever kiss again and then we kissed right after that. Oh my god. I need to get a grip.

"Blake." I look at him, shaking my head. "Please, I can't do this."

"You can't ignore it either." He looks so amused I feel like punching him. I actually don't know if I want to punch him or go back to kissing him. This is so screwed up. "Trust me, trying to ignore it is just going to make things worse."

"Watch me ace this." I grumble as I start to leave. "I'm not running away. I'm leaving because..."

"Because we're attracted to each other and if you stay here, we will end up making out again. Gotcha." He winks at me.

Shit. He's so fucking annoying. I shoot him a glare before leaving.