"Stop checking her out," My boyfriend's voice rings in my ear as he comes to stand in front of me.

I offer him a sheepish smile and a shrug, reaching over to grab the peanut butter jar. He shakes his head at me with an amused look on his face. I see him turn around to glance at the woman I was checking out before turning back to me with an arched brow.

"She's pretty." He states the obvious, sounding a little bitter and I snicker under my breath.

"She's gorgeous." I grin at him, aware that it'll annoy him. I like being able to do that because it's usually the other way around.

"Right." He rolls his eyes, going two steps faster in front of me. I drag the cart behind him, trying to catch up.

"But so are you." I call out behind him only to see him shake his head at me.

A laugh escapes me at his antics when I catch up to him. He offers me a sideway glance, "Is there anything else we need to get?"

"Yes. Your smile back." I respond and he scoffs, but then I see a smile making its way on his face. "There it is."

"Whatever." He brushes it off. "It doesn't bother me."

"Sure, it doesn't." I try to keep my amusement aside. He's lying straight through his teeth. "It's harmless, you know that, right?"

He lets out a sigh, taking a step back to fall in sync with me when we're about to move to another aisle. His arm comes to hang around my shoulder, pulling to his side as he places a quick kiss on my hair.

"I know." He gives me an honest look. "Don't worry, I have full confidence in my sex skills to know you wouldn't leave me."

An audible gasp leaves me as I swat at his shoulder, pulling away, "Jackass."

He laughs at my reaction, only to take my hand in his. I'm picking out a pack of condoms when he speaks up, "Can I ask you something out of pure curiosity?"

"Of course, always." I frown at him. "What is it?"

"How does this protection thing works between women?" He looks a little cautious while speaking. "You know, the condom scene?"

"Oh." I look down at our cart and then back at him. He looks curious and I'd normally tease him but something tells me he genuinely wants to know. "A lot of people use dental dams. Do you know what that is?"

"Yeah, like a latex sheet, right?" He responds and I nod, practically seeing the tables turning in his head. "Right. That makes sense."

I smile at him, "Anything else?"

"Is it weird if I ask questions about this? I mean, I know a lot about your life but we've never really talked about it like this." He sounds on the edge which is enough to make me scowl because he's right. We've never really discussed my sexuality.

"Do you feel like it's something which needs to discussed?"

"No, no, no!" His eyes widen when he looks at me. "I'm not questioning it, shit. No. You know what, forget it."

"Blake, what is it?" I stop walking, staring at his back. He pauses too, turning around to look at me.

"You once in a very light way told me that you prefer women, and I understand bisexuality isn't fifty-fifty shit. I understand all that, but I just want to know if that's something I ever need to worry about."

He seems nervous about this entire thing which makes me worry. I step closer to him, blinking up, "You don't ever have to worry about anything. I'm not leaving you, for any other person, regardless of their gender. You're kinda stuck with me."

A relieved breath leaves him, his shoulders slumping a little, "Good. It's not like I'm going to let you go or anything."

"And you can ask me anything you want to ask. I don't mind," I tell him, wanting to know where his head's at, "Promise."

"Sure?" He asks and I nod again with an assuring smile. "Okay, tell me then. When did you realise it? I mean, I realised I was straight when I had my first crush on a girl and I couldn't look at any other gender the same way. So, when was is it for you?"

His question makes me think because no one has ever really asked me such stuff before, no one has wanted to know, "I don't recall the exact moment but I'm pretty sure my first crush was on a girl too. For a long time I thought that was it until I crushed on this stupid guy in fourth grade."

"And?" He arches an eyebrow.

"I had Brian to go to a couple of years later." I shrug, casually. "He kind of explained to me how attraction works, how it's an entire spectrum. As much as my ten year old mind could grasp."

He nods his head along while we move around the entire store from one aisle to another, picking out groceries.

"So, Brian was the first person you told?" He asks and I nod. "How did Dee feel about that?"

I laugh at his question, "Mom took some time adjusting to the fact that there was this other person I went to for things. By the time she got to know I'm bi, she was pretty chill about it."

"That's nice, I guess. Were you scared to tell her, or Aaron?"

I like how curious he sounds, how interested he is to know all these things about me which no one has cared about before. I don't have deep stories to tell except maybe one, rest are just funny experiences to share.

"Not gonna lie, I was a little afraid of their reaction but like I also knew they'd be chill because Brian had already laid the ground for our entire fam, you know? He took the first hard step for us all and since he was accepted, I kinda knew it wouldn't be a big deal," I tell him truthfully, always realising along my privileges, "It wasn't planned or anything, I just cried a lot after kissing Kenny so everyone kinda got to know."

Blake's face stretches into a sad smile as he reaches for the cereal, "I remember that day."

"You do?" My eyes widen with surprise.

"Yeah." He looks away from me. "It was your parent's anniversary when Caiden announced you kissed Kenny."

I recall back to that day, how far away it seems now that I look back at it. I think they were celebrating some seventh or eighth anniversary. Our entire family had come down to the house we were staying at before this one. Mom announced she was pregnant right after my breakdown about Kenny in front of her. Later, when everyone had gathered in the living room, Caiden, being five-years-old and not understanding that sexuality was something private for some people, announced it to my entire clan that I kissed a girl.

"Yeah. Caiden's an idiot." I shake my head, a little disappointed.

"Do you ever feel bad about that? That he told everyone, when it should've been your thing?"

Can he read my thoughts? This is one of the reasons why I'm so crazily in love with him. Sometimes he just knows how I feel without having to say it out aloud. I entangle my arm with his, keeping my head on his forearm as he we walk to the check-out line.

"Sometimes, yeah. But other times, I feel like he ripped off the bandage for me. I don't blame him, honestly. He was five, the kid had a brain size of a peanut." I see him chuckle at my comment. "But yeah, sometimes I feel like I wish I had the opportunity to announce it to everyone. Other times I feel like why should I make my sexuality something special? Like you're straight, you've never had to announce it, why should I?"

"Next time whenever you get the chance around your family, announce it like you wanted to. Steal the moment, baby. I understand it shouldn't be special, but if it's special to you, why not?" He grins at me and I know he means it.

"And that'd not be weird?"

I think about his words. It's be awkward as hell because everyone already knows. They don't make it seem like a big deal because it isn't. I like the normalcy of that.

"Are you kidding? Have you looked at the kind of families the two of us have? We're definition of weird."

"You're right." I laugh, letting it go for the moment.

My phone rings in my pocket when Blake is paying the cashier. I answer the call from my mother only to hear lots of shouting in the background for a few seconds.

"Hello? Pay attention to the person you called," I speak up after waiting patiently.

"Hey, Em. Sorry. The twins are being a pain in the ass," she sighs and I can imagine her with a frown on her face. "Where are you both? I have to start preparing food and I can't do that without vegetables."

We're just exiting the store when I say, "Be there in ten, chill out."

"Alright. Hurry up."

She hangs up the call. Blake stores our grocery in the trunk while keeping the bags we got for my parent's place in the backseat. He has the car keys because I don't feel like driving at all.

"Was that Diana?" He asks, starting the engine and I nod. "Are my parents already there?"

"She didn't mention." I stare at him for one beat longer. "Are you nervous?"

Blake hasn't met Connor ever since he dropped by at our apartment more than two weeks ago. Ella has been doing better, I grabbed lunch with her last week and Blake has met her couple of times as well. Connor, however, hasn't really made a move to talk to Blake ever since their conversation.

"Not really." He shrugs. "I don't want to make a big deal out of it. I told him I would try, so I'll try."

"Good." I smile at him.

Today, we are having dinner at my parent's place. Mom thought it would do us all some good, and since Blake and I take every opportunity not to cook for ourselves, we agreed. He's a little nervous to meet Connor, but I know it'll go well.

When we reach there, Blake helps me with the groceries. It's Odion who opens the door with  a new haircut.

"Do you have gel in your hair?" I can't help my amusement.

"Mm-hmm." He nods, grinning like an idiot. "Do I look nice?"

"Very beautiful." I laugh, my eyes meeting Blake's and he's biting down on his lower lip to bite back his laugh. "Where's everyone?"

"Backyard."

Odion stutters less now, but he still keeps the communication to the bare minimum as much as possible. Speech therapy has been really good for him overall and I'm so insanely proud of him.

"I'll drop these in the kitchen." Blake takes the bags from me.

While he does that, I move to the backyard to find Blake's and my parents sitting under the table shed while my siblings are on the far left, playing basketball. I'm glad I'm wearing sneakers along with a warm sweater and jeans.

I run over to them, snatching the ball away from Caiden who looks up at me with surprise filled in his eyes.

"Unfair!" He accuses as I shoot for the basket.

"What he said." Ohana catches the ball after it drops down from the basket. "You playing?"

"Nah." I shake my head with a smile. It's been way too long since I last played basketball. "You kids enjoy, I'll go say hi to the folks."

I rush over to where the adults are sitting and wrap my arms around Ella from behind, "Hey, you."

She cranes her neck to look at me, a smile on her face, "Oh, hi, sweetheart. We thought you were going to play."

"Nah." I move from her to sit by my mother's side, smiling amusedly. "Those kids don't stand a chance against me."

Dad rolls his eyes as does Connor, and I peek over to see Blake stepping out in the backyard. He waves over to the kids before coming to sit with us.

"Hey guys." He leans down to kiss his Mom's cheeks and nods at everyone else before plopping down by my side.

"How did it take you so long?" Mom inquires us.

"Your daughter got caught up with a view." Blake shrugs and I gasp at his words, reaching over to smack his shoulder.

"What a meany."

He laughs, arching his body away from me, "Ouch, woman. No need to tell everyone how you treat me at home."

I glare at him, letting out a low grumble which only amuses him further. He lets out a low chuckle at my expressions and I turn away to focus on everyone else. It's then I realise both of our pair of parents are staring at us.

"What?" I shift uncomfortably in the seat.

"Nothing, it's just..." Mom starts but trails off.

"We aren't used to seeing you two like this." Ella completes her sentence.

My cheeks heat up from embarrassment because I didn't realise that our parents aren't really accustomed to seeing Blake and I together. Before we started dating, we barely talked to each other in family gatherings. Even at most, it was just for him to annoy me.

"It isn't bad or anything." Mom assures us and I give Blake a sideway glance.

He seems a little unfazed with their words. Instead, he reaches over to pinch me and I yelp, "Blake. Don't."

"I think you guys will get used to it real quickly." He gives them a cheeky grin when I swat his hand away.

I turn to Ella incredulously, "What did you eat before he was born? What food has that special ingredient of annoyance?"

Connor cackles at my question, looking at his wife, "Didn't you have applesauce?"

"Yeah." Ella nods, herself laughing a little.

"Good to know. It's on my list of things not to eat when I'm in labour." I nod to myself proudly.

"Hey." Blake gives me a mock-offended look. "I came out pretty awesome."

"And annoying." I add, teasing him.

"Do you know what I had before you were born?" Mom arches an eyebrow at me.

"What? Tell me so I can keep it on list of things I can definitely eat." I ask as my boyfriend gapes at me.

"Applesauce." Mom looks extremely pleased with her answer but Blake laughs out loudly.

"In your face, Emma!" He continues to laugh, others mildly joining him when I scowl at him.

"Hysterical, are we?" I roll my eyes at him when he stops laughing.

"Yes, I am." He offers me his cheeky grin, his dimples digging deep. His smile is so gorgeous, it often catches me off guard.

Caiden joins us, wearing a layer of sweat on his forehead, his chest heaving up and down, "What are we discussing?"

"Your sister being pregnant." Ella enlightens him without realising how wrong that came out.

My brother's eyes widen massively, his lips parting a little, "Wait, what?"

"She didn't mean that," I interject, assuring my brother, "Not preggo."

He lets out a huge breath of relief, "Yeah, I was wondering how Dad's sitting so calmly if Blake knocked you up."

Almost instantly, all eyes shift to Dad, including Blake's. My boyfriend almost looks pale, being put on spot like that even if it's just everyone messing around.

"Don't worry, son. Blake knows better than to do any future planning before he turns twenty seven," Dad tells Caiden, but his intense gaze is fixed on Blake who looks a little uncomfortable.

"Hold on." I frown at my father. "I thought that was age restriction for me."

"Now it applies to Blake too, if things work out." Dad shrugs, leaning forward to pick up his beer from the table before sipping on it.

"I second that." Connor nods along, earning a frown from his son. "What? He's right."

"You know we can very well elope, right?" Blake looks between everyone and I bite back a laugh because our mothers looks like they have seen a ghost.

"You wouldn't." Mom warns us both.

"I think they'll invite you two as witnesses, and the twins, and me." Caiden picks up the soda before popping it, giving a sideway glance to the men.

"So, basically, we're uninvited?" Dad almost looks offended and I laugh, shaking my head.

"This entire conversation is ridiculous. We aren't getting married anytime soon, we've just been dating a few months now." I point out but take Blake's hand in mine, giving it a light squeeze. I don't want him to assume a deeper meaning out of my words.

"I agree with Em." Ella smiles at me before turning to Dad and Connor, "Let the kids have fun. Stop being caveman, both of you."

"Thanks." Blake breathes out, standing up and looking at his father. "Dad, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Connor seems surprised but nods nonetheless, "Yeah, sure."

I look at their retreating figures nervously, but I'm aware Blake wouldn't lose his calm. My eyes move to Ella and she's already staring at me. She gives me an assuring smile which I return.

While they both move around the backyard to one corner, the twins approach the table, taking seats of their own. Mom pats Ohana's hair and she lets out a low grunt.

"What's that about?" I implore because it's very unlike my sister.

"M-mom told her she can't g-go to Brent's place for a sleepover." Odion fills me in, earning a very murderous glare from Ohana.

"It's not fair," she announces, looking at me.

"You can go if Odion goes." Dad says.

"Why should I be punished if he doesn't want to have fun?" My sister whines like the kid she is. "He would never go for a sleepover, you know that. That's why you set that rule."

"It's a pretty smart rule." I comment, appreciating my parent's plan.

"We know." Mom mouths at us, clearly amused and not bothered by Ohana's behaviour.

"Well, not to be the best sister or whatever who uplifts your mood," I sit up slightly straighter, "But I think it's high time I move out my stuff from my room here, whatever's left of it."

Everyone looks surprised at that, but it's two people who are literally jumping up and down, "Do you really mean it?"

"Of course." I grin.

Odion lets out a very happy squeal, rushing over to hug me from behind as he kisses my cheek, "Thank you."

"What am I missing here?" Ella frowns, obviously confused.

"If Millie's moving her stuff completely, that means these two don't have to share the room anymore." Caiden informs her and she connects the dots, nodding.

"We've been waiting for so long. I was trying to convince Dad for the guest room." Ohana grins at me, her excitement beyond explainable.

"Are you sure?" Dad asks me and I nod, picking on my nails.

"I don't know what I was waiting for, but I think the twins deserve their own rooms." I give a small smile to my parents.

What I don't say out aloud is that I finally have some place else that I can call home now. My parent's home would always be my safe space, wherever these five are, I would always come back there. But I'm building a home with someone I love, and it's a beautiful feeling that I'm embracing.

Mom doesn't look away from me but I see it, the tears in her eyes. I don't say anything, I just offer her a comforting smile from the distance with an apologetic shrug.

"So, I guess Ohana's switching rooms?" Dad looks between the twins who nod at the same time. "Dear God. You kids are growing up fast."

"Tell me about it." Mom sighs, blinking away her tears.

I look away from them, my eyes focusing on Blake and Connor. I almost gasp from the surprise when I see them hugging each other. Connor pats him lightly on the back before letting go and they both make their way to all of us.

Blake rubs the back of his neck when he reaches the table, coming to stand behind my chair. His hand moves to rest on my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. Connor looks at me, giving me a nod and a smile which I return before getting up.

"We're going to go pack my stuff up," I tell everyone, taking Blake's hand in mine to drag him away.

He doesn't protest or ask questions, just silently follows me. I already talked to him about moving my stuff back to our place and he was supportive of it. He barely has any of his stuff left back at his parent's place too.

"How did the talk go?" I ask him, reaching the stairs.

"Pretty good. I think we're okay." He smiles and I feel incredibly elated for him.

Once we're upstairs, sitting on the floor in the pile of my clothes, Blake speaks up, "Were the kids happy about this?"

"What do you think?" I ask rhetorically, folding the dress that I wore to my high school graduation. I run my hand over the black material, aware that it'll probably not fit me like that anymore. Maybe it's time to donate it.

"Penny for your thoughts?" He blinks up at me.

"The first time I got laid, I was wearing this." I hold it up for him and he studies my face to gauge if I'm serious.

"Well, we can burn that." He simply concludes and I laugh at his suggestion.

"No, we'll donate it." I grin, shaking my head.

Blake doesn't respond, instead he seems to mindlessly folding the clothes but it seems like his head is at some place particular. I frown a little, grabbing his attention.

"What are you thinking?"

He immediately shakes his head, "Nothing."

"Tell me." I insist, wanting to know what he's thinking about it because it didn't look like nothing.

He lets out a sigh, "I was thinking about your father."

"About Dad? Why?" I try to make sense of his words but then he gives me a look that makes me put a pause to everything I'm doing. "You're talking about Nate."

"Yeah."

"Well, what about him?" I question, not liking that suddenly his thought is there in my head.

I think about him, a lot more than I'd honestly like to admit but I don't like to talk about him. It has been better ever since he showed up at my apartment. That day feels like I got some sense of closure, that even after being so near him and standing in front of him — I cannot forgive him for what he did. No matter how many years down the line.

"Just today we were discussing how your entire family knows about you, and then you mentioned your first time, which was with Kenny. So, I was just wondering if he knew, about you being bisexual." His voice is soft and he has scooted closer to sit right in front of me, pulling me between his legs as he spoke.

His thoughts bring back memories I'd rather keep hidden but this is the guy I'm so madly in love with. I don't mind sharing my heart with him, so it comes with both good and bad.

"He knew. He didn't like it." I shrug it off, not sure if he wants the details.

"What's there to like or dislike?" Blake sounds confused.

I let out a muffled laugh, "That's what I asked him. He just told me that as long as I wasn't dating a woman and got married to a guy, all was good."

"Fuck." He curses under his breath, his hands coming up to hold my face. "I'm so sorry."

I swallow down the disappointment that threatens to overwhelm me regarding what a piece of shit father Nate was, is...

"It's okay. Good thing his opinion doesn't matter to me." I try to shrug it off.

"We both know that's not true," he whispers, his thumb grazing my cheek in a feather like touch, "He's a piece of shit though. No offence."

I try to hold back the sudden laugh that erupts at how dead serious he sounds but fail miserably, "None taken."

"Gosh, I wish I was a woman, that would've made a good point to him when we get married. Like, in your face, man." His forehead comes to rest against mine.

My head falls back as I chuckle loudly, "Blake, you're ridiculous."

I look at him and there's a twinkle underneath his eyes. A small smile is playing on his lips, his head cocked a little to the side as he seems to be staring at me.

"What?" I ask, my smile still intact. He uplifts my spirits so easily, it's almost unreal.

"You're just so beautiful." His voice is slightly breathy.

I close the distance between us, placing my lips against his, drawing his body closer to mine. He gasps in my mouth when I bite down on his lower lip, tracing my tongue along it. His hands come around my hips to shift me in his lap. I take that gesture as an indication to wrap my legs around his waist, our lips still moving in sync.

Our bodies start to heat up a little when he reluctantly pulls away, his dark eyes meeting mine, "You're making me live my teenage fantasies right now."

"What? Making out with me?" I arch a surprised brow.

"Making out with you in your bedroom." He grins, looking around before focusing his attention back on me, his finger caressing the skin on my neck.

"I was a part of your teenage fantasies?" I emphasise my question again.

Something Ella said to me a while ago immediately crosses my mind. Blake's wearing a small shy smile on his lips when he shrugs, not meeting my eyes.

"Wait, what am I missing out?" I cup his face to make him look at me.

"You were not a part of my teenage fantasies, Emma," he tells me, pausing a little before continuing, "You were the entire fantasy."

My breath hitches a little as I process his words, still trying to understand the depth of his words, "What?"

"God, this is so embarrassing." He groans, hiding his face away in the crook of my neck.

"Blake, tell me!" I urge, but instead of responding, he starts placing open-mouth kisses on my neck. His tongue almost pokes out to play when I muster up my entire strength to resists him, "You're distracting me."

He stops, leaning back a little to study my face, "Is it working?"

"Nope."

He brings his hands beneath my sweater, roaming it on my body. I almost gasp from the sensation that shoots through me when he brushes against my breasts.

"Are you sure?" He asks again.

I shake my head, trying to snap out of his games, "No. Yes, I'm sure. Blake, tell me."

He rolls his eyes, giving up as he retracts his hands away but comes to settle them down on my waist. "Okay. I had a crush on you. Big deal."

"When?" I ask, not sounding very surprised because Ella did mention something along these lines.

"I don't know, honestly. I was a kid, it went on for a while."

"How long?" I implore and he gives me a look. "Baby, it's just me."

"Yeah, it is you. That's why I'm hesitating. The girl I was crushing on for five years straight is questioning me about it." He lets out a frustrated sigh but then his eyes widen when he realises what he said. "Well, shit."

"Five years?" Well, now I sound surprised.

Blake had a crush on me for five years? How did the hell did I not know about this? What world was I living in when he liked me for five years?

"You're really going to make me tell you everything, aren't you?"

"Duh." I smile a little, my curiosity bursting inside me. "When did it start?"

"When I was nine." His cheeks are flushed a little and I've never ever seen this side of Blake before. I didn't even know it existed, that this absolutely beautiful gorgeous human was capable of blushing.

"Well, continue." I insist and he rolls his eyes but tightens his embrace around me.

"Okay, I was nine and you had recently turned thirteen when I realised how pretty you were. You were growing out your hair more, you were just such a ball of sunshine every time you entered the room. You still are, people naturally focus their attention on you and that has always been the case because you're worthy of it. I realised it back then, how much you didn't want my attention and you never did anything to gain it but you still had it, all the damn time." His eyes are roaming all over my face and this time, it's probably my face that's flushed.

I've never heard anyone talk about me like that. Even if Blake and I have been together for so many months now, we're not that kind of couple who make each other sit down to compliment each other. He'd rather tease me playfully throughout the day and I would know he's feeling extra affectionate. That's just who we are. But hearing him talk this, it makes me feel like I've never felt before.

"I had no idea," I tell him, honestly.

"Like I said, you never asked for it or did anything, but you had my attention. I remember how bummed I was the day Caiden told us you had kissed Kenny." He smiles, his eyes a little far away like he's living the memory all over. "I felt bad about you kissing someone else but for a mere second I assumed you weren't into guys at all and I thought, there it goes. I never stood a chance."

It almost saddens me to hear him say that, "God, that... I'm so much into you now, just you. You know that, right?"

"Of course." He chuckles a little. "I also remember the satisfaction I felt when you told Derek how you were into both guys and girls."

"Hope for Blake?" I grin at him and he nods. "But five years? I was that oblivious?"

"You really were. Even Mom caught me staring at you multiple times and confronted me about it. I didn't deny, and she thought it was just a harmless crush."

"It was harmless enough."

"Sure." He laughs a little humourlessly at that and I frown at him.

"What?" I nudge him a little. "What aren't you telling me?"

"You don't want to know, trust me." He leans forward to kiss me. "All that matters is that we're together now."

"Blake." I scowl, not liking the tone of his voice. "I did something, didn't I? Did I hurt you in some way?"

He doesn't meet my eyes, so I stare at him hard enough to fess up. A sigh escapes him as he rubs his palm on his face, "Okay. I never ever wanted to tell you this because it's in the past. It really doesn't matter now, not anymore."

"What did I do?" I swallow the lump of nervousness that grows.

"Do you remember the New Year's eve party your parents threw after you got early acceptance to Columbia?" He questions and I nod.

"The dreaded night I got into a fight with my Mom."

"Do you remember anything apart from the fight?"

This entire conversation is making me nervous because I was already drunk during the fight with my mother and after that, it was all just kind of a blur. I wanted to defer my application for an entire semester and travel around. That's what Kenny had planned, she was my best friend back then and let's just say, I was dumb enough that I was willing to accept the offer to accompany her.

Mom refused, of course. We then had a huge argument which caught a lot of attention from our guests, which was mostly family. At one point I just took the champagne bottle and went to roof. But apart that I don't remember anything, especially not related to Blake.

"Not really," I say, because that's true.

"Okay. Well, when you were on the roof that night, I came to check up on you." His face seems a little distraught as he continues. "I was worried and by the time I came up, you were pretty much at the point of passing out, and being an idiotic teenager, I didn't think things through. I started bugging you to talk about it."

Oh no. The knot in my stomach almost doubles at the prospect of a drunk me being forced to talk about my feelings, especially when I was eighteen. I had a pretty bad phase of being intolerable because of how rude I had become with everyone. That's why the fight also happened, I said things I didn't mean. I was mad at my biological father and basically, I took it out on the world.

I remember I said some really mean things to my mother that night, things I wish I could take back and had never said in the first place. But drunk me didn't know better. I told her I wish it was Nate who was my full-time parent because he'd let me make my own decisions, let me travel without controlling my life.

If I was that ruthless to my mother whom I have loved unconditionally since as long as I can remember, I can't imagine what horrible things I would've said to Blake. Because as unfortunate and sad it is to admit this, I didn't really care for him back then. I was indifferent to him.

"Want me to continue?" He asks, his voice soft. "You already look upset."

"I already know to expect the worst. Just rip off the bandage." I take in a deep breath, preparing myself for another page coming to haunt me from the past.

"Well, you asked me why did I care, and I told you." He gives me a sad smile. "I said I liked you, and I cared about you so I had to make sure you were doing alright."

"Oh, Blake." I shake my head, resting it on his shoulder to hide my face away. "I'm so sorry. That couldn't have been easy."

He chuckles a little, but it's low and laced with sadness, "No, it wasn't. Especially not when you laughed in my face."

"I didn't." I gasp, leaning back to read his expressions. Shit. He's dead serious.

"Yeah, you did." His smile is a little lop-sided, making my heart hurt a little for the teenager Blake. "You laughed and laughed, and then told me that you wouldn't let me into your pants just so I could brag to my friends that I fucked an older girl. That I should stick to girls my age and never ever speak to you again because my confession disgusted you."

Holy hell. I close my eyes to process the details he just revealed to me. I knew it would be bad, but not this bad. I feel... uncomfortable in my own skin to hear that I could've actually done that. But I know I did. I was very much capable of it.

"Hey, look at me." He whispers, his fingers touching my cheek so I blink open my eyes. He looks worried, about me. I'm surprised he's still holding me the way he is, because I cannot even imagine how bad I must've hurt him.

"I'm so so so so fucking sorry, baby." My eyes focus on each part of his face, taking in his handsome features. "If I could personally go back in time, I would take all of that back, and smack myself on the head for doing what I did."

He exhales a breath, "It's in the past, Emma. None of that matters anymore."

"Why didn't you say anything? All these years?" I am so confused regarding this new revelation.

"Because I didn't say anything to you that night either. I just left you alone on the roof, came downstairs and didn't speak to anyone for the rest of the party. All of the feelings I had for you kind of took a three-sixty turn. I started loathing how my parents would always praise you. Instead of taking it as a motivation, I started hating how I had to compete with you every step of the way." He shrugs like it's no big deal.

How can he act like my actions were not a big deal? I hate what my eighteen year old self did. I mean, if I were a better person, I wouldn't have reciprocated his feelings or led him on, but I would've let him down easy.

He was fourteen back then, a minor and I was eighteen. Our age difference right now isn't a big deal to me but back then, I would've never seen Blake any other way, I'm self-aware enough to accept that.

"So, you started hating me?" I conclude and he snickers, shaking his head.

"Not really. I disliked being compared to you, and I tried to avoid you as much as possible," he says, "It was easy because you were off to University, so I barely saw you anymore."

That makes sense because I didn't visit home that often after I went to Columbia. I clear my throat, taking his hand in mine, entangling our fingers.

"When did it stop? The disliking? Because after I graduated, all you did was annoy me." I remind him, and his grin reappears.

The sight calms my insides because I was so worried that recalling everything I did, what a horrible person I was would make him question things between us.

"Yeah, I discovered I liked getting on your nerves. I think I started being indifferent to you when I started dating Nicole." He confesses and I follow the timeline in my head.

"And then you guys broke up and you started the internship at Cox and Bell." I finish and he nods, a smile evident on his face. I brush away his hair and lean forward to kiss his forehead. "I'm so sorry about what I did that night. I really am."

"You weren't even in your sane mind, Emma. I know you now, I know how much you fail to realise how big your heart is, how kindness literally runs through your veins and how much love you have stored inside you, waiting to shower it on those you love." He runs his palm up and down my arms, his warmth comforting me. "I have no regrets, I am kinda glad things turned out the way they did that night."

I immediately scowl at that, "Why?"

"Because whatever feelings I held for you, they all seem so superficial compared to how deeply I feel for you now. Back then, if that had continued, I would've always held you on a pedestal and then I would've never really gotten to know the real you. My judgment would've been clouded by some preconceived perception I had of you during my teenage years. Even if it was a positive perception, trust me when I say this, you're so much better than what I could've ever imagined."

Tears sting my eyes when he finishes speaking, overwhelming my heart with all the emotions that rush in. But amongst all those feelings, one thing stands out stronger than ever. My love for him. I never could've asked to fall in love with a better person.

"How did I get so lucky?" I stare at him in disbelief. "Blake, you're everything I've ever wanted in my life. It took me so long to realise that you were right there in front of my eyes all along, but I'm not wasting anymore time. I love you, I'm going to love you so much that it annoys the shit out of you."

His head leans back a little as he laughs, shaking his head at me in amusement, "I think we can leave the annoying business to me."

"Nope, time to prove that applesauce is correlated with annoyance. You're so going down." I start kissing his face from one spot to another.

He starts chuckling so hard that he loses his balance, falling back and taking me with him into the pile of clothes we were supposed to pack. I stare at his face before capturing his lips with mine. Just like that, I know that even if we were in some alternative universe, him sneaking his way into my heart and lightening it up with his presence was always inevitable.

•••

it's over. done. last chapter. writing this story came so naturally to me because of how familiar the characters felt. all thanks to TDT. i will try to update epilogue in coming days too. thank you so much for reading!

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