𝐃𝐄𝐄𝐏 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒
i am terrified of this dark thing that sleeps in me

A FEW DAYS have passed, and yet, nothing felt like it changed. They were still on random hunts, trying to find a way that will allow Dean to survive and not go to hell, and on top of all that, Aria is still distancing herself. She feels angry and disgusted and horrified by everything she had done while being possessed. While she knew it wasn't her doing the killing — it was the demon controlling her — she still felt like all that blood was on her hands, that she is the responsible one.

And of course, the brothers were worried and scared for her. The Aria they knew loved making jokes, butting into their conversations, and always loved to find something to snack on. But this Aria; the emotionally and physically distant Aria, left them feeling empty inside.

And because of the brother duo being worried about their friend, and they know she won't talk unless they keep pestering, they decided to try and talk to her at one of the motels they stopped at.

"Aria..." Sam started hesitantly, and he flinched when Aria's almost lifeless eyes blinked up at him slowly. He could spot the prominent purple bags under her eyed, and how pale she is now. Her hair is greasy from not having been washed probably since she regained control of her body again. "We are worried about you," he said slowly, gesturing between himself and Dean who stood slightly behind him frowning.

Aria flinched at his words, licking her chapped lips, turning her gaze back down on the bed she is currently on, picking at the threads. "I'm fine," she said, voice cracking.

She hasn't been drinking anything but coffee, and eating only a few crackers a day. To say she wasn't fine, was an understatement.

"You're not," Sam said, pushing his brother lightly on the chest, knowing he was about to start ranting. He didn't want his brother to push too hard right now. Sure, they know that Aria needs to be pushed to talk about things, but they also know that they have to go at it more gentler than in the past. What she has been through, is very traumatizing. "And that's alright, Aria. It's okay to not be okay sometimes."

Aria scoffed, swallowing thickly as she felt her eyes sting, "how does that even make sense anymore, Sam?" She rasped out a little harshly. "I... I hurt people. A lot of people, Sam," she snapped, digging her nails into the palms of her hands. "I did... I caused so much damage," she cried out, tears escaping her stinging , red rimmed eyes.

"It wasn't you, Aria," Dean stated, hating seeing her like this.

"But it was by my hands, Dean!" She shouted, jumping off of the bed, pacing back and forth, crying hysterically, gesturing widely. "I saw everything happen! I felt everything happen. He, it, whatever! Allowed me to see, hear, feel everything they were doing and it was terrible! I don't wish that on my greatest enemy!"

"I hate that he did that," Sam said, tears cascading down his cheeks. "You didn't deserve that to have happened to you."

"Sam, I don't know how to get past this," Aria sobbed, her whole body shaking. "I hate that those girls had to see my face before they died. I hate this. I hate this. I hate that demon!" She shouted, her knees giving out on her, which resulted in Sam catching her seeing as he was the closest.

Dean wiped away a few tears, bottom lip trembling as he watched Aria, his best friend, breakdown in his brothers arms.

"I hate feeling like this," Aria cried softly. "It was all fun and games with the demon, he loved torturing those girls, he thrived on it, and he thrived on hearing me beg to be let out." It reminded her too much of the Nogitsune, on how he used Stiles' face to taunt her, and then how he used the Oni's to keep her sister. Those memories, those feelings, they're still always on the forefront of her mind. And now adding this, her mind is jumbled and broken, and she doesn't know how she'll get back from it.

"It'll get better. You might never get over it, you might never forget this feeling, but you'll be okay. And that's alright. And not everything has to be brushed off of you, you are allowed to feel sad, disgusted... even broken," Sam assured her, lowering them to the bed so he could hold her better. "Don't let this demon win. Don't let him tear you apart anymore, Aria."

"You're strong, Aria. And we're here for you," Dean stated as he sat down in the other side of her. He is surprised when she turns into his arms, burying her face into his chest, clutching his shirt. He kissed the crown of her head, holding her tightly, rubbing her back with of his hands. "I'm here for you, little warrior," he whispered, "and I'll never let you go."

Soon enough, Aria's breathing and cries slowed down and she fell asleep in his arms.

The brothers shared a look, knowing that they're next act is to try and get Aria's mind off of everything bad.

THE NEXT DAY, Aria had gotten at least eight hours of sleep, which is more than she has gotten in multiple days. So, that was a good start. And then Dean, first the first time ever, allowed someone else to drive his Impala; Aria.

Of course Aria knew what they were trying to do the moment Dean offered his keys to her with a little wiggle and a small smile. But honestly, she was already slightly feeling better, and this might be the only chance she gets to drive Baby, so of course she would accept the offer.

And then allowed her to go to Starbucks to get a drink and her favorite snack. She decides on; Mango Dragonfruit Lemonade Refresher which is something she's never had before, and Ham and Cheese on Baguette.

Without Aria noticing, Sam and Dean kept sharing looks throughout the car ride, still more than worried about her mental health, but both glad she is a having a little fun, and actually eating something.

Their last stop was at a tattoo shop.

As soon as the trio walked in, a big guy about 6'7 stood up and approached them, completely covered in tattoos. He took one look at them, raising one amused brow at Aria's tiny frame. "What can I help you with, gentlemen?"

"Actually," Dean wrapped an arm around Aria's shoulders, "we're here for her."

The big man raised both of his brows now as he stared down at Aria who gave him a sheepish smile. She is currently wearing a tank top, a pair of plain black leggings, converses, and Dean's favorite jacket that he doesn't really wear much anymore.

"I would like this," she held up a picture of the anti possession tattoo that she had taken of Dean's chest, and offered it to the man, hand trembling. She wasn't scared of getting a tattoo, it's because she still hasn't allowed her body the amount of rest and food it deserves.

"Are you sure, lil lady?" He asked, staring down at her intently.

The youngest Argent nodded, straightening her shoulders. "Yes, I want that tattoo."

HOURS LATER, Aria walked out of the tattoo shop with a smile on her face, ignoring the slight aching on the left side of her chest. For once, she doesn't feel so terrified to walk around anymore.

And not only was she relieved, but so was Sam and Dean.

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— gonna be honest, i kinda forgot about this book 🤦🏼‍♀️ i am so disappointed in myself but hey, hopefully you enjoyed this emotional chapter <3