Sienna

I stopped short, my spine stiffening from the words that breezed past me in a rush of breath.

He was...

My eyes widened and I turned swiftly, coming face to face with the version of Tristan Larsen I had never seen before.

"My father was a businessman. He traveled a lot and was rarely home." He pressed on, clenching his fists by his side. He looked...so wounded and torn, and his eyes, the pain in them were so palpable, it made my anger disappear like it was never there.

"My mother..." His Adam's apple bobbed as his throat worked on a hard swallow. "She didn't work, didn't need to, my father provided everything so she was always home, both of us. She liked me a lot, always told me how special I was to her and how she couldn't wait until I got older. I didn't think much of it, I was just the kid happy to be getting an extra juice box in my lunch pack every day..." His voice broke off, and the realization of his words made me suck in a shuddering breath. Don't tell me his mother... God, no. My stomach churned with disgust. The thought did cross my mind but I didn't want to believe it. No.

"I was only seven, Sienna." He spoke after a moment, and I could hear the sounds of his knuckles cracking as they tightened even more beside him. "I was only seven when my mother lured me into her showroom, stripped naked, and told me to get between her legs."

Oh my— I covered my mouth with my hand and gasped, my eyes stretched wide in cold shock.

"Seeing my mother naked for the first time scared the shit out of me and my immediate response was to run but the doors were locked. I was trapped. She had premeditated all of it, how she was going put a plastic bag over my head and slowly suck the air out of me until I agreed to do what she wanted, and I did. After being suffocated almost to the point of death, I gave in, I got on my knees, and I..." He trailed off again and shut his eyes, taking in a deep shaky breath.

My nose moistened and my eyes watered. I didn't know why but I wanted to cry so bad.

"It didn't end that night." He opened his eyes, meeting mine. "She didn't stop coming, stop taking advantage of my face. I summoned the courage one time and told my father about it and his response was to beat me with a belt for trying to spoil my mother's good name. He called me a lunatic, told me that I was sick, and when I remained persistent, he threw his bourbon glass at me. The glass shattered into my skin, scarring me here." He stopped to point at the dark knife over a heart tattoo at the top left of his chest.

My heart sunk to my stomach and it twisted. How could a father do such a thing to his son? How could a mother be so despicable? Where was their humanity?!

"When my mother found me bleeding from my wound, she laughed." Tristan continued after a moment. "She laughed and grabbed my hair and forced me to look her in the face as she told me that no one would ever believe me or save me. I lost all hope then, and my assault went on, becoming almost as natural as breathing. Night after night, I was forced to my knees, forced to drink the nonsense she vomited in my mouth, until just molesting my face and hands wasn't enough for her anymore."

My heart rose in panic. "Tristan no..."

"On the night of my thirteenth birthday, after putting Lily to sleep, she snuck into my room, got on top of me, and shoved her cotton panties deep into my mouth so I couldn't scream as she pulled my shorts down and gave me what she described as my birthday present..."

I opened my mouth. A tear slid down my face. I couldn't make out words, couldn't move, I was frozen in place. Horrified by what I had just heard.

"I didn't just get a vasectomy done because I wanted to sleep around with women and not suffer the consequences, Sienna. I did it because my life is a mess, because I am a mess. At seven I already knew the taste of a woman's orgasm, at eleven brushing the taste of piss out of my mouth became impossible, at thirteen I was getting raped, repeatedly, almost every night, being forced to ejaculate and when I couldn't she would whip me until I vomited and eventually passed out. But of course, beating me was what Madeline did when she was in a good mood. Do you know what she did when she wasn't?"

I shook my head vigorously, tears leaking down my eyes, this was too much for me.

He took a step closer to me, his jaw flexing, face twisted with morbid hate. "She took her curling iron, turned it on and do you know what part of my body it went into?"

My heart stopped. I covered my mouth. Jesus Christ.

"I bled, Sienna," his voice cracked. "I could feel my blood dripping down my legs, I was in pain, so much pain that I considered ending it all."

The sob I struggled to hold in broke free. How could she?

"I have had every part of my body assaulted and polluted and devalued. Getting a vasectomy was the only thing I could do to make sure this cursed bloodline ended with me. I can not be a father, Sienna. I don't want to be and I'm sorry for not telling you sooner about it but I do not regret my decision, no child deserves a damaged man as a father."

"Don't say that..." I stuttered through my tears. "You're not damaged."

"Oh yeah?" He forked his fingers through his hair and laughed. It was dark and empty. "At the lake house, when Madeline was shot, I was there. The burglar came in and met me screaming as my mother assaulted me. He panicked and pulled the trigger and I watched her struggle with two fatal wounds to the stomach. I could have called the ambulance, Sienna, I could have stopped the bleeding, could've saved her in some way but I didn't, I stood there and watched her die. I killed my mother."

I shook my head, unable to hold back the hot tears that streamed down my eyes and dripped down my chin. "You didn't kill your mother, Tristan. It was not your fault, anyone in your situation would have done the same thing."

He turned away from me with a gruff. "Yeah well, my father didn't seem to think so, he blamed me for her death, telling me every day how he wished I had died instead and I did too because things didn't get better like I thought they would. I kept seeing her, kept waking up in the middle of the night to the thoughts of her. It was almost as if my body longed for the pain she fed me. I was confused and tormented, I barely got sleep, I was losing my mind."

He bowed his head in his hand and exhaled harshly.

"At fifteen, I stabbed my teacher in the neck with a compass because she tried helping me through my panic attack."

I gasped sharply. Horrid chills raced down my spine. "Oh my God..."

"I was diagnosed with PTSD and depression shortly after. The school expelled me. I was home-schooled. It took a while to find someone willing to tutor me because they were all scared for their life."

"Tristan..."

"Do you see it now?" He turned. "Do you see how damaged I am?"

My heart wrenched with pain. I shook my head, walking to him. "You are not damaged, Tristan." I cupped his face with shaky hands, urging him to look at me but he wouldn't meet my eyes. He wouldn't look at me. "You were only hurt." I grabbed his hand and placed it over my beating chest. "Look at me, Tristan, don't hide from me." He'd been alone for so long, shut off from the world because he was scared, and he was hurt. "Look at me, please," I begged, squeezing him with every emotion I had in me. "I know you think you're a monster but you aren't, you were just a boy. I am so sorry you had to go through all that. You were so young Tristan, and they—oh god." I broke down again and sobbed.

I wanted to be strong for him but I just couldn't. The man I loved was hurt this bad and I had no idea. All those years, spent in torture, having no one, trusting no one. I thought I understood why he was the way he was but now I knew. He'd been abused all his life, taken advantage of by adults meant to protect him, and he kept all this locked in for so long.

"Sienna..." His arms came around me and I looked up, streams of tears flowing like a broken dam down my face.

His lip quivered. "Don't cry for me. I don't deserve your tears, I don't deserve your love, I don't—I—" A lone tear slid down his cheek, and the sight of it shattered everything in me. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him to me and he buried his face in my neck, his body trembling against mine as he sobbed harshly, cutting deeper and deeper into my bleeding heart.

I held him firm, sobbing with him, overwhelmed by the knowledge of how much he had to go through. He gripped me tighter, so excruciatingly tight I was barely breathing but I didn't care. I snuggled closer, pouring my heart out on him as he did on me.

Minutes passed. I didn't know how much, we'd both lost track of time. When I got a hold of myself again, I pulled away slowly and wiped my eyes.

Tristan touched my face, stroking the tears stuck underneath my eyes with his thumb. "Are you okay?" He asked softly, looking down at me with weary eyes.

"Yes," I mumbled, lifting my hand to push his hair out of my eyes. "Are you?"

His reply was a subtle nod.

I caressed his cheeks, they were warm, stained with the dry patches of his tears. I grabbed his hand and brought it to my face, kissing his palm. "I love you so much, Tristan," If I thought I loved him before, it just doubled. "So much."

His shoulders slumped. "Do you? After everything you just heard, do you really still love me?"

"Nothing you said has changed the way I feel about you. It just made me love you even more."

His lips tilted. "Does that mean you're not mad at me anymore?"

How could I be?

"I'm not mad at you but I am beyond pissed at the sick twisted bitch who dared lay her hands on you." I wanted to find her grave, dig out her bones and melt them in acid because she didn't deserve to exist in this world. What kind of a mother did this to her son? It was disgusting, appalling. "No offense, but I want to bring her back to life and kill her myself."

He chuckled softly and lowered his head, resting it against mine. "There's so much more I want to tell you..."

"You don't have to push yourself if you are not ready," I assured him. "I can wait."

To be honest, my mind reeled. I had so many questions. I wanted to know all the secrets buried behind the ink marks on his skin, I wanted him to completely unravel himself to me but we'd both been through enough for one night.

"I love you, Sienna," he held me tight. "You are the best thing that has happened to me. I never imagined I could ever feel...this stupid over someone. I am weak for you. Utterly weak. Please don't leave me, it hurts when you run away from me."

"I'm not going anywhere, Tristan. I'm here." I leaned in and brushed my lips gently against his. "I love you..." I kissed him. It was soft and reassuring and he melted into it, giving me a quick taste of his tongue before pulling away to say.

"Give me time, I'll be perfect for you, I know I can."

My heart swelled. I curled my arms around his neck. "You already are. You are perfect and beautiful." My eyes stung with fresh tears. He'd allowed the world to think he was heartless and horrible but he was not, and now that I knew how fragile his heart really was, I was going to take care of it. I was going to take care of him. "I love you so much."

His hands went around my ass and he cupped me, pulling me into him. The desire was back and it was humming between us. He kissed me, making love to my mouth with his tongue, and I drank him in, weak with the need for him. "I need you." He breathed hoarsely, his hot gust of air drowning my senses in a pool of lust. "I need to feel you."

"I'm here," I snuggled closer, desperate for him, more of him, all of him, the good, the bad, the ugly. "I've always been here. Take me."

"Oh God, Sienna." He lifted me by the waist and placed me on the table, his lips never leaving mine. I ran my fingers down his powerful chest and reached between us. He was so hard and so hot. "This body is mine, Tristan," I told him, squeezing him. He groaned into my mouth, the sound vibrating through me. I pumped his hard flesh in my tight hold, only stopping when his pre cum moistened my hand, and then I fixed him where I needed him the most. "You're mine, not her's, you belong to me."

His body shuddered. "I'm yours..." He breathed, just as he buried himself in the depths of me, right where he belonged. We both groaned, and both moaned. He tucked his head into my neck, breathing me in deeply. "I'm yours...Sienna." He started to move. "Forever and always..."