Sienna

"Alright, that's it." Xavier finally spoke after excruciatingly long minutes of tension-filled silence. "Are going to tell me who that guy was or are we still going to pretend whatever happened at your doorstep didn't?"

I swallowed the insanely huge lump in my throat, my eyes trained down at my Jimmy Choos. I couldn't look at him, not after what had happened, and I wished he hadn't asked at all because my mind was still spinning in circles and I was finding it hard to process everything. He came back for me...he missed me...he wanted me..."He's...He's no one." I had no idea how to explain this. I'd rather not.

"He didn't seem like a no-one to me, and if you're going to have a conversation with me at least look me in the face."

I bit my lips, raising my head slowly to meet his hard eyes. "It doesn't matter who he is, let's just enjoy our evening and forget about him, okay?"

The car suddenly lurched to the side of the road and came to a screeching halt. I gasped, gripping my seatbelt. "W-why did you stop the car?"

Xavier turned to me, his jaw clenched. "You say he is no one but you walked back to my car with tears in your eyes, Sienna."

"It's not—"

"Don't lie to me." He cut me, his clipped words sinking into my stomach. "I'm taking you to dinner because I want to know more about you and explore what we have going on between us, I didn't fly down all the way from Germany because of roasted turkey and pumpkin pie, I did it because I was captivated by what I saw."

My lips parted and nothing more than a whisper of his name breezed out. "Xavier..."

"But I can't move forward from this point." He continued. "I can't just drive off and pretend that I didn't see what I saw. I want to explore things with you but I can't if you already belong to another man."

I shook my head, forcing back my tears. "I don't belong to any man."

"What about your heart then?"

His question knocked me askew.

"I saw the way you looked at him and the way he looked at you. I might have been single for a very long time but I am not naive and I am not desperate enough either to take someone who belongs to someone else."

"Xavier," I reached my hands out to touch him but I stopped myself. "it's—it's not what you think."

"Fine then," he crossed his arm over his sturdy chest. "If you can assure me right now that he's not in your heart and he means absolutely nothing to you, I'll start up this car and drive us off without mentioning any of what happened."

I opened my mouth, eyes going watery. "Xavier, I—"

"Just give me the truth, Sienna," he cut me, his eyes growing weary as he scanned my face. "That's all I ask."

The truth?

What was the truth?

I dropped my head and squeezed my fists on my thighs.

The truth was that I'd fallen for Tristan way longer than I wanted to admit, the truth was that even with all the physical and emotional pain he'd caused me, I still couldn't hate him, it was that I wished I could love him less, maybe if I did, pushing him away wouldn't feel like I was ripping out a part of my heart, but it was impossible to do so because there were people you could know for a lifetime without them getting into your heart, and then there were people like Tristan Larsen who plowed their way inside your heart without permission and took possession of it.

It didn't matter if I'd only known him for six months, this man eternalized himself in my very being, and unloving him was as impossible as not breathing.

I looked up and opened my mouth, searching for words, but I shut it again and bit my trembling lips. I wanted to lie, I wanted to say that I felt nothing for him but— a tear rolled down my cheek as the fight to ignore my feelings leaked out of me. "I...I love him, Xavier." I confessed. "I love him so much but I'm scared to be with him because he has hurt me before, and I thought being with you could help me get over whatever I felt for him but it can't—" because it didn't matter how far from him I ran, as long as I carried my heart with me, he was always going to be a part of my life. I choked on my tears. "I'm sorry, Xavier. I'm so sorry and—" my control snapped and a hell of hot tears broke loose in my face.

"Shit, Sienna," Hard hands came around me.

"I'm sorry." Shame crept in, crushing me. I was so pathetic. "I'm sorry, I'm just..." Fast tears spilled down my face, making it unable to speak properly.

"It's fine." He soothed me, his hands brushing down my back. I didn't know how many minutes we stayed like that but after a while, I pulled away and wiped my eyes.

"Are you okay?" Xavier asked me, his arms still around me.

I nodded silently and cleaned my face. "You're not mad at me." I'd expected his anger, but if anything, he looked sad and remorseful.

His face split into a rueful smile as he finally let me go. "Why would I be?"

"Because I just told you I loved someone else."

"It's a blow to the gut, yes, and I wished you would've told me sooner but no, I'm not mad, if anything I'm happy you told me the truth."

Relief washed over me. I might not have him but I didn't lose him totally. "Thank you, Xavier," I sniffled. "Thank you for understanding and not making this harder."

He smiled. It didn't reach his eyes. Deep down I knew he was disappointed. "Let's get out of here."

When I nodded, he started the car and veered back into the tiled road, but instead of driving on, he made a U-turn.

He was taking me back home.

"Thank you once more," I told Xavier when he pulled into my driveway and stopped his car.

His reply was a subtle nod and a smile. "I don't know what your man did to hurt you but make sure you've certified he's worthy of you before going back."

I nodded, unbuckling my seat belt. "I will, thank you."

"Good night, Sienna."

I smiled. "Good night, Xavier."

I stepped down and waited for him to reverse out of the driveway before I turned and slurred my way to the door. The first thing I found still lying on the floor of my patio was the flowers and chocolate Tristan had brought along with him. Heart aching, I ignored it and entered the house. It was quiet when I stepped in. Feeling numb, I walked through the dark living room up the stairs to my bedroom and I didn't bother taking off my dress or my shoes before I slumped on my bed, buried my face in my pillow, and sobbed into it.

I had to be the stupidest human alive.

For these past weeks, I'd longed for Tristan and found myself wanting to go to him but, finally, he came back for me and I let him go because...because— I cried harder, feeling my chest tighten with so much pain.

Why did making the right choices always hurt so much?

His words had been everything I wanted to hear, it had been everything I dreamt about and yearned for but I was still so scared to believe and acknowledge him. I loved too easily and got wounded too easily and I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to walk out if I went back in. I was so scared that he would take me for granted and use me just for sexual gratification again.

I wanted to be more than that. I deserved better than that. I didn't want to be his fake wife or fuck buddy. I didn't want to be in a contract. I wanted to be with him, I dared to want more. I wanted him to stay because he wanted to stay with me, I wanted him to love me.

Feeling like I was locked in a dark hole, I curled up and sobbed uncontrollably into my pillow until my tears seized and reduced to nothing but dry heaves and I finally found sleep amidst my agony.

The morning breeze fanned my face, bringing a fume of nausea along with it that had me jerking out of bed and slapping a hand over my mouth as I raced to the toilet and skidded to my knees to empty my gut.

It was Thanksgiving but my day had begun deathly dull with an intense ache rushing through my head and unsolicited agony biting into my chest.

Eyes tight, I gripped the edges of the seat and heaved into it, over and over, and it wasn't until the scratchy feeling at the back of my throat disappeared that I pulled myself up lazily from the floor and flushed my mess.

One step from the toilet to the sink and the room started to spin. I tottered and grabbed the sink for support. It was funny how vomiting could drain the life out of someone. Or maybe it wasn't the vomit, maybe it was because I had stayed up half the night crying over a man.

Refusing to admit to the grimy reflection staring back at me above the sink, I grabbed my toothbrush, squirted some toothpaste, and started to brush my teeth. I was still in my dress from last night and it was ruined with drops of vomit but whatever.

After taking out my anger on my unsuspecting teeth, I cleaned off the remains of my night's makeup still on my face and stripped for a bath.

Unsure of my stamina, I turned on the shower head and sat on the floor of the shower stall with my knees to my chest.

God, I felt so sick, really sick.

I lowered my head, allowing the cold water beat down my back and soothe my aching bones.

It was a long time before I finally got out of the shower. I rubbed some lotion, dried my hair, and put on a thigh-high denim jumper dress that was just as plain as my insides.

I descended the stairs right after, feeling a lot less sickly. The smell of pumpkin pie filled the air, tingling my appetite. As I approached the kitchen, the front door opened and my mum's grunt came rung across the room as she walked in with a giant bouquet of peonies that nearly covered her face.

What the—

Seeing that she was visibly struggling and the flowers kept wobbling, I hurried over to her and carried the bouquet.

"Jesus Christ, this thing is heavy." She breathed out.

"Who—" I choked out and cleared my scratchy throat. "Who did this come from?" Please, God, don't tell me she was seeing someone again because if I had to attend a fifth wedding, I would jump into a lagoon and drown myself.

"I should be asking you, this is the second time this morning a delivery is coming in." Still catching her breath, she inclined her head to the bouquet of Calla lilies and two gift boxes sitting on the coffee table.

My heart pounded in my chest. Tristan? Was he doing this?

"Aye yai yai, I need to sit, my waist hurts." My mother bemoaned as she started to amble towards the kitchen with both hands on her waist.

When her figure disappeared, I walked to the coffee table and set the vase down on it. Why would he do this? I thought I told him to leave.

My brows creased together in confusion as I stared at both flowers sitting on the table. A rectangle card was sticking out of the peonies. I tentatively tugged it out and read through it.

" flowers because you're the prettiest petal a man could ever hope to set his eyes on."

My body tensed as I stared down at the typed card in my hand. He didn't give up like I thought he would. My foolish heart thumped with hope. Ugh. It didn't matter if he didn't give up, we were done with him.

I crumpled the paper into a ball, tossed it on the floor, and marched into the kitchen to distract myself.

Mum was standing by the island, chopping potatoes on it. "Have any idea who it might be?" She asked, her eyes glancing away from the potatoes to meet mine.

I shook my head. "N-no."

Her eyes turned suspicious. "It must be a secret admire then. Thank God. After the fiasco with Xavier, I was really starting to get scared for you."

I picked up a spare knife from the knife block and helped her in pilling the potatoes. "What happened to Xavier?"

She sighed, dividing the potatoes into large chunks. "Well, his mother called this morning and told me they wouldn't be joining us for Thanksgiving anymore because Xavier is flying back to Germany." Her shoulders slumped. "She said the date went well but he doesn't think you're both compatible."

"Oh," I said tersely, pilling the potatoes faster. Such a smart man. He saved me from the stress of having to formulate a lie.

"But what exactly went wrong?" My mother asked and even though I wasn't looking at her, I could tell she was staring at me with narrowed eyes. "You both were doing so well."

"Nothing happened," I said with a small shrug. "We're just not as compatible as we thought."

She shook her head. "I don't think that's it, tell me exactly what happened?"

I sighed. "Mum—" the doorbell chimed, halting my sentence. Saved by the bell. I dropped my knife. "I'll go see who it is this time. " I rinsed my hands quickly and rushed out of the kitchen before she could say a word.

Phew.

Thank God. I was too out of strength to tell a lie.

Relieved, I walked to the front door and opened it, and dread immediately uncurled in my stomach when I found myself looking into the deep livid eyes of my soon-to-be ex-husband.

"Hi,"

I snapped out of my haze and blinked repeatedly. "I thought I told you to leave?"

The corner of his mouth curled into a hint of a smile. "I'm not that easy to get rid of."

There it was again, the stupid endowment that made my stomach flutter with psychotic butterflies. I shook it off. I refused to give in or cower from his words.

I stepped out and shut the door. "You should go, why the hell are you here?"

He ambled forward. God, he smelt so good. "To officially date you."

Heat spread across my face. I blanched. "Date me?" He wanted to date...me?

"Yes angel, I want you to see that my intentions for you are very pure. I just need a chance to prove that I'm not the douche you think I am."

I stepped back from him, my chest tightening. "Please leave, Tristan."

"No." He protested, eliminating the distance between us in three strides.

I swallowed conclusively the lump lodged in my throat. "Tristan, don't make this difficult for both of us."

His face tightened with determination. "Go out with me on a date."

My brows shot up in surprise. "What? No. Are you crazy?"

He moved even closer, his chest only an inch from touching mine. "I thought we already established the fact that I am?" he murmured, his breath burning on my face. "It's hard not to be crazy over a girl like you." The small smile curving the corner of his mouth told me his act was deliberate, he was intimidating me with his sexual allure on purpose and I was cowering.

My voice wavered. "I don't have anything more to say to you. Go home."

"Not without you, homes just not the same without you."

His honesty made me want to laugh and cry and scream in frustration at the same time. "We're done Tristan, we're finished, for Christ's sake leave me alone."

"Say whatever you want about us baby, but we aren't over, not by a long shot." His finger slid along the line of my jaw, tilting my head up to meet his eyes, and I tried to turn my head away but my muscles refused to heed. "Like those flowers, I know that under the right conditions, our relationship can sprout and blossom into something beautiful. So all I ask is for a chance to show you I can be the man you want."

I've given you too many chances Tristan, too many and you fail me every time...

I parted my lips but before I could get a single word out, the front door swung open behind me. "Sienna, what's taking you..."

Holy crap.

"So long..." My mother trailed off behind me.

I broke away from Tristan immediately and turned to stare at her. The look of horrifying surprise on her face made my stomach drop. "Mum, I—i" I opened my mouth to explain but nothing but a breeze of air came out. There was simply no way to explain why a sexy American man stood on her patio. "It's—I—"

"Happy Thanksgiving, Mrs. Bardot," Tristan cut me smoothly, turning his sole attention to my mother with his hand extended. "It is a delightment to finally meet the mother of this pretty petal, I am Tristan Larsen, Sienna's admirer." He introduced, so charmingly polite in a way I had never seen him before.

"You're the one who sent those flowers?" my mother asked breathlessly, her eyes filled with curiosity, surprise, and a little bit of confusion as she accepted his handshake.

He smiled, so brightly that his sparkly canines revealed themselves. "Yes, they are from me, I hope you do not mind the gesture."

"Oh, no." She shook her head, flushing. "They are so exotic and beautiful. Welcome dear," she turned to me, her hand still locked with his in a shake that was taking forever. "Sienna, you didn't tell me you had such a handsome wooer coming over."

I gave her a small fake smile. "Sorry, skipped my mind." I grabbed his hand and pulled him back, breaking their shake. "He was just about to leave."

"Nonsense," she enthused. "This is the first time a man has ever come for my daughter. Welcome, Mr. Larsen, please come in and make yourself comfortable, this will soon be part of your home."

"Mum!" I squeaked, my cheeks burning fiery red.

She ignored me and moved aside, paving the way for him to walk into our home. "Come on in."

Tristan smiled, his eyes twinkling. "Thank you."

And then they both walked in together, leaving me standing outside the door.

God.

I closed my eyes in misery and rubbed my temple, feeling a migraine coming on.

Today was going to be a really long day and I wasn't sure I was ready for it.