The splash sounded above me, but I was too caught up in my emotions to care. Strong arms wrapped around me, pulling me into the solid naked chest of a Mer. There was no need to worry which Mer. The heat exchange between our touching bodies was answer enough. Bolt held me while I sobbed against his chest, and he rubbed my back soothingly without a word.

Bolt held me until my body eased, and my fingers released the death grip I had on his neck and shoulder. He didn't release me, but his hand travelled up to sweep back my hair and lift my face to his while he used the tongue of Mer to communicate with me. "Your sorrow called to me across the sea. Thankfully, I hadn't gone far yet."

Swallowing against the intense look in his eyes, I shook my head. "You're forbi-"

"Forgive me in advance." Lips crushed against mine, his hands raising me up to be level with him, then he wrapped me in his arms and kissed the ice out of me. He wasn't speaking Mer now. His tongue was all primal lust, heat, and domination.

Supplicating to the inferno he lit within, I wrapped my body around him and replied in kind. Strong hands held me, felt me, made me moan with need and a longing for finally finding desire. It felt amazing, like I was finally alive after sleeping under the snow for so long. So much so, that when Bolt's hands lifted my shirt over my head and relieved me of my bikini top, I didn't dare object.

My breasts felt right in his hands, needing him to keep touching me, groping my mounds, rubbing his thumb across the peaks. When he dropped his mouth to suck the nibs, electricity fired within, my head flew back, and all the air remaining in my lungs escaped in a cry of pleasure.

"Poseidon, help me," Bolt muttered as he kissed between my breasts that were gripped in his palms, his bull horn pressing against my bum where my legs wrapped around his waist.

As if our god heard his prayer, an item dropped into the pool and floated down beside us. Groaning, Bolt grabbed the smart watch and hit the screen to show the display. Nodding his head, he flung it back up out of the pool and turned his emerald-violet gaze on me. Snatching my top floating in the water, Bolt handed it back to me, then turned away.

Taking the cue, I dressed my self then rose to the surface. As I sat on the ledge, the guards standing over by the shelf turned their backs and watched the entryway. The cascade of overflow had stopped, which I knew meant the tide was going out. If we didn't leave the cave now, we'd be stuck here till the tide came back in tomorrow morning.

Sitting beside me, Bolt took my shaking hand in his grasp. "Your mother told me I couldn't have you. Kissing you, knowing your shoal didn't approve was disrespectful, but when I saw your eyes, I couldn't resist you. It was the same when your sorrow called to me. I had to come, and I had to kiss you and touch you at least once. I would have taken more, but you are a princess in two clans, and you are part Ice Mer. I know what it means for the Ice Mer when they finally ignite their desire. I am older, and of the sun. It would be my fault if I caused you to dishonour your clan. But, damn it if I don't want you."

"Forbidden." It's all I could say. It's more than I should be saying. Everything about Bolt would cause me to break protocol.

Caressing my face, Bolt looked torn. "I know. I will not ask you to break from what family you have, nor to dishonour yourself by being my lover in secret." Standing up, Bolt walked to the shelf and whispered something to the guard there before turning back to me. "Briyez will see you back to your beach safely. As a believer in fate, I won't wish you goodbye because I believe we will see each other again, Princess."

With a bow of his head, Bolt dived into the surging sea, all but one of his guard following him. Briyez turned and waited for me, his violet gaze pure and cautious. Standing, I moved towards him. Before I could dive into the sea, he stepped in front of me and wiped his thumbs across my cheeks. "Leave your tears here, Princess. Don't broadcast your pain to the sea. You'd be surprised how far it carries in water."

Composed, I dived beneath the water, and used the outgoing current to return me to the ocean. Briyez swam with me till we reached the beach outside my home, then he bowed his head and swam into the deep, heading east. Tired and cold once more, I made my way ashore and back to my room.

My lust filled dreams didn't abate. If anything, over the coming weeks they became worse because now it was Bolt who kissed and touched me in them. Sleeping less became my avoidance tactic, and so I focused on finishing my paper for publication to keep the need for sleep at bay.

"My paper has been sent of today," I informed my mother two weeks later.

"Good, maybe you can start sleeping again." The crab claw in my hand disintegrated at the thought. Setting her dinner aside, Nary sighed. "Talk to me, Shadow. You haven't been the same since we fought about your father. Do you want to go to the Ice Mer and meet him? I can arrange an escort from the southern most point of this country to take you across."

"No. I've accepted Kai doesn't want to know me."

"I never said that."

"You didn't need to, mother. His absence from my life was clear enough." Washing my hands in the lemon bowl, I pushed my plate away.

"I spoke to my brother last week. He suggested you visit the Indigo Shores. Perhaps, you need time in the sun, amongst other Mer, surrounded by your shoal."

Considering my mother, I tried to assess why she suddenly wanted to send me to her home. "King Neelam is willing to have me?"

"Of course. They offered for you to be raised there. You are no longer a child, and you told me you are finished with the Ice. I think it's time you are amongst your own, Shadow. You live between two worlds here. You need to experience immersion."

"You have never even suggested this before."

"You are lost. I've watched you now for two weeks barely sleep, barely interact, immersing yourself in your research to avoid living. You can't keep this up. You've spent ten years waiting in the Ice for your father to acknowledge you, it's time to give the Sun half of you a turn. Stay for a month. If you don't like it, come home. Nothing will be lost by it."

"Will you visit me if I choose to stay?"

Swallowing, my mother looked away. "Unlike most of the Mer, you are not adverse to travelling using human transportation. It will be faster for you to fly to me." Nary had been gone from the Indigo Shores for a century. Going home would be too hard. I could understand that.

"Can I think about it?"

"Of course. If you decide to go, I will call Neelam to arrange it, and you can fly in to one of the human islands in the South Pacific, and find your way from there."

"Okay, I'll think about it." Standing up, I took our plates to the kitchen.

"The offer still stands for you to go south if that appeals more. You've always wanted to know your father. There is no reason not to go to him."

Except that he hadn't made any effort to know me all my life. Turning to assess my mother as she brought her plates in, I considered her sudden keenness to send me away while I cleared the plates and set them in the dishwasher. "Have you spoken to Kie about me coming to see him?"

"You know I don't speak to him. Some of my people in the southern peninsula do trade with the Ice Mer. They have guaranteed you passage, and assure me you will be welcome."

"So, Kie offered for me to go?"

"Yes. It was suggested to our mutual friends that immersion in a traditional Mer clan would benefit you. He makes a good point."

"Oh my god. This is about me hooking up with a Mer. You are hoping that by surrounding me in Mer, I'll find one to ignite my fire."

"Well, you aren't going to meet one in our lagoon, Shadow, and I don't want you avoiding living anymore. You are not all Ice. Let the sun in your veins burn, Sweetheart. Live. Be happy. That's all I want."

The way Bolt's touch and caress made me feel alive played in my mind. Nary was right, there was so much more for me to experience, and it wasn't going to happen hiding behind my mother's skirt, or in an ice cave.

Letting the idea stew for a few days, it took waking in a sweat and tangle of my sheets, Bolt's name on the edge of my lips, for me to agree. Sitting down at the breakfast table, I met Nary's eyes. "Tell Uncle Neelam I would love to visit for a month or so as a trial."

The mix of joy and sadness in my mother's eyes nearly broke me. Giving me a hug, she picked up her phone. "I'll call him now, and then we can arrange your transport." Walking outside, I started eating while Nary made the call.

"Brother, Shadow has agreed. I'll organise her transport and let you know when to meet her." Picking up my phone, I started making lists for what I would need to pack. "He knows where she is here. I trust you to keep her safe. Good, I'll call with details of her eta tonight. It's already been weeks without her sleeping properly. She's showing all the symptoms of abandonment sickness, so the sooner she is enfolded in her clan, the better."

Frowning, I finished my breakfast and moved to the kitchen. Opening a browser, I typed in abandonment sickness. Lots of articles on abandonment issues popped up, but nothing labelled sickness, which meant it was probably a Mer thing.

Nary strode into the kitchen, happiness and anxiety pouring off her in waves."Okay. Let's find you a flight."