Gandalf: You have any sunscreen?
Aragorn: You can't get a sunburn from a bonfire—
Gandalf: It's for my marshmallow ya dummy.

Legolas: Yesterday, I overheard Aragorn saying "Are you sure this is a good idea?" and Gimli replying "Trust me," and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life

legolas: I'm cold.
Aragorn: Here, take my cloak.
*meanwhile*
Gimli: I'm cold.
Boromir: I can't control the weather, Gimli.

Gimli: Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective?
Aragorn: *crouches down*
Boromir: *kneels down*
legolas: *sits on the floor*
Gimli:
Gimli: I hate all of you.

Legolas: How long do you think it'll take?
Aragorn: I don't know, three or four.
Legolas: Three or four what? Days? Weeks? Months?
Aragorn: Yeah, maybe five.
Legolas: Five what?!

Sam, Frodo, and Merry are sitting on a bench
Pippin: Why do you guys look so sad?
Sam: Sit down with us so we can tell you.
*Pippin sits down*
Frodo: The bench is freshly painted.

Merry: *Screams*
Pippin: *Screams louder to establish dominance*
Sam: Should we do something?
Frodo: No, I want to see who wins.

Frodo: Truth or dare?
Merry: Dare
Frodo: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room
Merry: Hey Pippin
Pippin, blushing: Yeah?
Merry: Could you move? I'm trying to get to that mirror.

Sam: Please, I'm begging you go to a doctor.
Frodo: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

Sam: Hey, it's your turn to wash dishes.
Gollum: I'LL WASH THE WALLS RED WITH YOUR BLOOD.
Sam: 'Kay, but before that, wash the dishes, also use soap this time?

Sam: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?
Gollum: You mean literally or figuratively?
Sam: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...