Hermione: I made tea.

Harry: I don't want tea.

Hermione: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.

Harry: Then why are you telling me?

Hermione: It is a conversation starter.

Harry: That's a lousy conversation starter.

Hermione: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

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Harry: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I've been feeling are actually severe psychological

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Ron: You can de-escalate any situation by simply saying, 'Are we about to kiss?'

Ron: Doesn't work for getting out of speeding tickets, by the way.

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Neville: Not trying to brag or anything, but I can wake up without an alarm clock now simply due to my crippling and overwhelming anxiety, so...

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Ron: Why are you on the floor?

Harry: I'm depressed.

Harry: Also I was stabbed, can you get Hermione, please.