Aroha: Albtraum, Azmia, I love y'all and all, but can I ask what in the hell are you doing?
Albtraum, trying to stabilize a tower of folding chairs that Azmia is sitting atop: Oh nothing much.
Azmia: I love you too :)
-

[group chat]
Andrew: There was a motor close to where I am right now.
Azmia: A motor- a motorcycle?
Andrew: Oh sorry, a murder.
Aroha: That escalated quickly.
-

Aroha: Andrew, I don't think I can handle any more of your tomfuckery.
Andrew: Oh yeah? Well I can keep going until you're all tomfuckered out!
-

Aroha: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos.
Andrew: That's the most hopeful thing I've ever heard.
Azmia: But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos?
Albtraum: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day.
-

Azmia: Yesterday, I watched Alb try to eat a decorative rock from Andrew's potted plant. Aroha caught him, and told him he can't eat rocks. Alb started whining something about no food being in the house before walking away.
-

Albtraum: Hey, what's the name of the guy who lives down the hall?
Azmia: His cats' names are Walter and Rose.
Albtraum: That's not what I asked.
Azmia: That is all the information I have.
-

Andrew: Go big or go home!
Aroha: Please, for once in your life just go home. I'm begging you. Go. Home.
Andrew: I'm going big!
-

Azmia: *cooking*
Albtraum: *kicks down door*
Albtraum: *grabs knife from Azmia's hand*
Albtraum: WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR?
Azmia:
Azmia: What.
Aroha: He's trying to tell you he wants to cook.
-

Albtraum, making coffee: This is going to fix everything.
-

Albtraum: You deserve a reward for putting up with me.
Azmia: You are my reward.
*meanwhile*
Andrew: You deserve a reward for putting up with me.
Aroha: True, you can be really difficult at times.