Omega: How on earth does Hunter keep his white performance shoes so white?

Crosshair: He brushes them with toothpaste.

Omega: Ah. *5 seconds later* Wait a minute—

Crosshair: I can't believe you bought that for even 2 seconds! I have no idea, Omega!

This originally Came from this.

Friend: How does she [Taylor Swift] keep her TTPD shoes so...white and clean?

Me: She brushes them with toothpaste

I'm such a comedian sometimes.

No, seriously, that is the first joke I have made that people have laughed at.