Hairdresser: How would you like your hair cut?

Sandstorm: Preferably with scissors, but a sword could be badass.

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Sandstorm: Detective! The man belonged to some kind of cult that worshipped a divine forest creature with antlers and that's how he met his end.

Firestar: Dear God!

Sandstorm: Yeah! Exactly!

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Lionblaze: WHY DID YOU KILL HIM?! HE COULD HAVE HAD HOPES AND DREAMS, HE COULD HAVE HAD A FAMILY!!!

Hollyleaf: Lionblaze-

Hollyleaf: It- it was just an ant-

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*Squad is playing Among Us*

Lionblaze: I believe Hollyleaf is innocent, I was with them the whole time. Jayfeather, what were you doing?

Jayfeather: Oh, I was just murdering... I mean, nothing!

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Jayfeather: Everyone knows that Santa is an invention designed by the big five corporations to sell tinsel and video games to an unsuspecting public.

Hollyleaf: The whole "childhood wonder" stage just blew right past you, didn't it?

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*Hollyleaf and Jayfeather are planning to break in somewhere*

Hollyleaf: We need to distract the guards.

Jayfeather: Right.

Hollyleaf: What are we gonna do?

Jayfeather: I'm gonna break their elbows while you poke their eyes.

Hollyleaf:

Jayfeather:

Hollyleaf: Deal.

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Brambleclaw: Th-that was horrible! Your wish is horrible! You're horrible! You're an irredeemable monster!

Hawkfrost: Woah, woah! What took you so long, idiot?!

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Tawnypelt: Man, they look like a real handful. How do you deal with them?

Stormfur, watching Feathertail screaming, Crowpaw trying to set a sleeping Brambleclaw on fire, and Squirrelpaw choking on air: I don't know either.

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Brambleclaw: Do you need help getting up?

Squirrelpaw : Nah, I'm cool down here on the floor.

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Tawnypelt: *venting endlessly to Brambleclaw about their week*

Brambleclaw, every once in a while: *in a monotone* Wow, that is so wild.

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