Tris: Fool me once, I'm going to kill you

Tobias: You can de-escalate any situation by asking, "Are we about to kiss."
Tris: *enters looking pissed off* Doesn't work for speeding tickets, by the way.

Tobias: bitches be like "I'm baby" but have childhood trauma and neglect like what the fuck do you know about being baby you were forced to grow up from an early age anyways I'm bitches.

Tris in Divergent + Insurgent being a suicidal baby: I'm sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don't know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It's rude.
Literally every character in Allegiant: Um... About that...

Tris: I can explain
Tobias: Can you?
Tris: If you give me 30 seconds to think of lie

Tobias: While I'm gone, Tris, you're in charge
Tris: Yay!
Tobias, whispering: Tori, you're secretly in charge
Tori: Obviously

Tris: Well, well, well... If it isn't my old friend: the dawning realisation that I fucked up, bad.

Tobias: What the fuck is wrong with you?!
Tris: Wow, you could start with a 'good morning'
Tobias: Good morning. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

Tobias: Time for plan F
Caleb: Don't you mean plan B?
Tobias: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.
Christina: What about Plan D?
Tobias: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago
Peter: What about Plan E?
Tobias: We're planning not to use it. Tris dies in plan E.
Tris: *appears out of nowhere* I like plan E

Eric, about Tris: Apparently we're getting a new stiff in Dauntless.
Tobias: Are we stealing them?
Zeke: New or used?
Eric: Wonderful responses, both of you.

Tris: People are always asking me if I'm a morning person or a night person.
Tris: And I'm like, "Buddy! I'm barely even a PERSON!"
Uriah: They're right though, you aren't a person, you're a ghost.
Tris: Too far.

Tris: So, are we flirting right now?
Tobias: I AM LITERALLY STABBING YOU
Tris: That doesn't answer my question
Knife scene, anyone?

Tris: I'm going to defeat you with the power of friendship!... And this knife I found.

Tris: If you can't beat them...
Christina: ...dress better than them.