My throat is on the line currently.

———

Grain: I've become a bread crumb dealer to four crows at the lake. They pay me with a bit of everything. Like shiny things, fabric, or pens. But recently they paid me with a 20 dollar bill they found somewhere. So I decided to buy them some more expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me money. I've probably racked up about 200 dollars at this point. Is it morally wrong though, I mean. They're the ones who steal the money from others. Or perhaps they just have a big pile laying somewhere. Should I keep on doing this?
Poultry: You sound like the start of a Batman villain.

Poultry: So my therapist was talking to me and she said that I really just need to break down my walls and let people in.
Poultry: So I've decided to break the fourth wall.
Poultry: *looks at camera* Hi there. I use humor as a coping mechanism.

Poultry: Dearly Beloved, we are here today to remember Grain, taken from us in the prime of life; when they were crushed by a runaway semi, while sitting in the middle of the road.
Grain: Aww, you knew my favorite cause of death.

Poultry: Okay, if we can't do it by sheer force, we'll do it my way.
Tango: But your way is sheer force!
Grain: LET'S DO IT!

Grain: Standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like 'look at this f---ing flower. This flower is taller than I am. This flower is winning and I'm losing.'
Poultry: Wow, you are not ready to hear about trees.

Poultry: Y'know, I once knew a man who said to me: "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." He also had a pair of sideburns that would cause even Jude Law's face to weep in forfeit. You put those lemons in a sack and beat your enemies with 'em! And maybe if you beat 'em hard enough the bag will split open and lemon juice will spray into their eyes, causing intense burning pains as you crush them into a citrus-y pulp!
Grain: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Their heads or the lemons?
Poultry: Whatever caves first!

Grain, holding a gun: If the conspiracies about life being a simulation are true WHO  EVER IS CONTROLLING MY SIM I JUST WANNA TALK.

Poultry: Guys it's a shooting star, let's make a wish!
Grain: I wish for good grades.
Impulse: Nerd.
Grain: Nevermind, I wish upon the shooting star to fall down at a 30° velocity aiming for Impulse. :)
Poultry: Grain...

Poultry: Someone will die...
Grain: Of fun!

Poultry: Do we have any orange juice left?
Grain: *pours the remaining juice into their cup*
Grain: Sorry, we're all out.

Poultry: I'm never having a debate with Grain again, they literally started their argument with "Riddle me this."

Grain: What's your biggest fear?
Poultry: I am incredibly arachnophobic.
Grain, under their breath: You don't want spiders to get married?