In Grim Old Place
Sirius: Hey, how are you doing, I'm doing just fine, I lied, I'm dying inside.
Remus: Me too, honestly.
Sirius:
Remus:
Harry: *falling through the ceiling*
Harry: ME TOO
Sirius:
Remus:
Remus: Did you just fall through the ceiling?!
Sirius: You're more worried about the fact that Harry fell through a ceiling than the fact that Harry wants to die?
Remus: Pretty much

James: LILY TURNED DOWN MY PROPOSAL
Sirius: You asked her on April Fool's Day, what did you expect?

Remus *sliding down a banister*: Y'all going to hell. Goodbye!

Remus, Sirius, and Peter: *minding their own business in the background looking at things in the store*
Sirius: *banging a box of sausage on his head*
Lily: James, go put those corndogs back!
James *weirdly slides down on his knees and slides away on his back with the box of corndogs*: YOU CAN'T MAKE ME DO EVERYTHING.
Remus, Sirius, and Peter in the background: *are concerned and run away*

James: On a scale of one to ten, you're a nine because I'm the one you need.
Lily: I'm a ten.
James: No, it's a pickup-
Lily: I. AM. A. TEN

At ze pool
James *on the phone with Lily*: Where did you head off to? *looking around the pool* I can't find you...
Lily: I'm off at the deep end.
James:...
Lily: Don't.
James: I'm off at the deep end, watch as I dive in
I'll never meet the ground.
Lily: I hate you.

James: When I get murdered, can you make sure I become an unsolved case?
Sirius: What?
James: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved.
Sirius: Can we go back to the part where you said, "when I get murdered"?

Lily: You were stabbed. Don't you remember anything?
James: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.
Lily: That wasn't an ambulance. I drove you.
James: But I heard a siren.
Lily: A siren?
Sirius:
Lily: Oh, that was Sirius.
Sirius: I'm sorry, I got nervous.

James: Who ate all the cookies?
Sirius: Ninjas.
James: I didn't see them.
Sirius: No one ever does.

Sirius *knocking on Remus' closed door*: Do you want to build a snowman?
Remus: It's like, heatwave weather out there.
Sirius: Is that a no then?

Sirius: Hey, did you know I was gay?
James: Gay? I thought you were Pure-blood.

James: *arrives late for a date*
Lily: Why are you late?
James: The Sirius wouldn't let me leave.
Lily: Then why are you dripping wet?
James: The Sirius dumped his water on me.

Sirius: Why is Lily in a good mood today?
Lily: Can't a girl be in a good mood every once in a while?
Remus: James tripped and fell into a fountain today.
Lily: I got it on film!

Sirius: It's really muggy out there today.
Lily: I swear if you put out all our mugs in the front yard...
Peter: He did
Remus: Explains why I'm drinking my coffee out of a bowl

Sirius: I was today years old when I realized that the song Breakfast at Tiffany's was about the movie Breakfast at Tiffany's and not the other way around
James: WAiT... iT iS?!

James: *comes down at three in the morning*
Peter: *eating a block of cheese in the kitchen*
James *concerned*: Um, Pete? Whatcha doing eating a block of cheese at three in the morning?!
Peter: I was hungry
James:
Peter: *ninja rolls out of the kitchen with his cheese*

Remus: *is putting chocolate syrup on his cereal*
Lily: This is why we're the weird house in the neighborhood!
Peter: I thought that was because Sirius threw the potato out the window that one time and James thought it was a UFO
Lily: That too.

Sirius: I got the tea!
Remus: For the last time, it's called a mission's report.
Sirius: Would you like the tea or not?

*trying to teach math*
Remus: If you had ten cookies and Lily asked for three, how many would you have?
James: Ten. Lily knows better than to ask for my cookies.
Remus: Fine. If you had ten cookies and Lily forcibly took three, how many would you have left?
James: Ten cookies and a dead Lily.

James: You ever want to talk about your feelings, Remus?
Remus: Not really.
Sirius: I do.
James: I know, Sirius.
Sirius: I'm sad.
James: I know, Sirius.